I do not own Harry Potter
Lady Shenzuki: thank you so much for the many advices and spelling check. It won't be as deep without your help. (There are still be some grammars mistakes and that's totally my fault just so you guys know :D)
The kiss was great. He was a good kisser. Her mind was foggy and all she could think of was him. Her entire body felt hot, she was breathing heavily and so was he.
It wasn't uncommon for a person to pick up a stranger at a bar and disappear into the night together.
Nancy was not one who would do so, but things happened.
It was one of those nights that when one thing led to another.
At the bar, she noticed a hot, well dressed, but silent stranger drinking silently beside her. He looked as if he had been carrying the world on his shoulders. Being the friendly and talkative person she was, she had to say 'hi' to him. After receiving a few stares, the tension started to loosen.
Despite his cold expression, the gloomy atmosphere around him, he was very intelligent. She was drawn to him.
His name was Draco Maloy.
After some chats and as the night grew old, somehow they ended up here together, a hotel.
She didn't know how she allowed such thing to happen, but she didn't want to care. She liked him enough to be willing to go through the night. Even if it turned out to be a one nightstand only, but she hoped it wasn't.
They kissed as soon as they were inside the room, his hands felt her body. One of his hands felt up her leg lifting the skirt as he did so. But then, he hesitated… then stopped.
Draco paused, closing his eyes, inhaled a deep breath, and slowly pulled his face away from her. His eyes fluttered opened.
"What?" still breathless, Nancy asked. He seemed to have an eternal struggle. Was she not attractive enough?
"I am married," Draco answered, looking right into her eyes.
"Then why?" she wanted to know why he would be doing this.
"It's complicated. The marriage… is falling apart." His voice was exhausted.
"Why?" she asked again.
"It's complicated. Too many things happened." That was all he was willing to tell her.
"So you decided to do this?" she asked. He stayed silent.
"Are you sure this is a good option?" They were still in a very intimate position.
"I don't know," he answered honestly. He didn't plan this, he never thought he would end up in this kind of situation. It was just a spur of a moment that led them here.
"Let me ask you this." she brought a hand to cup his cheek, his hands were still on her waist and leg, "Do you still love her?" she asked gently.
"Yes," his voice turned softer and Nancy felt a pang in her chest. It was obvious that he loved his wife.
"Do you want to hurt her?" she ventured.
"No." He answered quietly yet readily.
Nancy smiled softly at his answer, despite the hollow hole that seemed to increase inside her heart. At least he was considerate toward his wife and not just a mindless selfish person who only cared about his needs. He was a good man, she concluded. Though that fact only made Nancy want the man even more.
"Then go back to her," she encouraged him to go back seeing he was in an indecisive position; he seemed pretty confused. She knew that if she listened and surrendered to the inner voice, her true desire which screamed pretty loudly at her, she would tell him to stay.
If it were so difficult to be with his wife right now then stayed with Nancy and forgot about all the problems for the night. She would comfort him and give him the world. But she knew it wasn't right. No matter how tempting his delicious lips looked, it wasn't right for her to ravish them and lose herself from reasons. Those lips belonged to another woman.
He could only stare into her eyes.
"To be honest, even though I've only meet you tonight, but I like you a lot. Enough to bend down the rules, something I've never done before. I don't normally sleep with a man I just met. But, for you, I was even willing to have a one nightstand," she confessed sheepishly. She wasn't sure what it would accomplish with her confession, but she felt like she had to let it out.
"And yet you are telling me to go back?" he was curious. If she liked him as much as she had claimed, he wondered why she would readily send him back. Not that he had not thought of going back himself despite the fact that the woman before him was very attractive. It wasn't right for him to have her.
But she made him… feel… the emotions that he and long forgotten. The excitement in marriage, in relationship, that he felt no longer because all he and his wife did were fight.
"Yes," she smiled. She reluctantly let go of him and put some distance between them. She turned around and hugged herself as if the room were cold. She already missed the warmth his body provided, but she stopped herself from get back to him.
"Because if someday, my future husband were in your position. If he were about to cheat on me with another woman… I want her to tell him this," she slowly turned around to fully face him, "'Go back to your wife. Go and try and work things out. Give it everything you've got. And if until the end it still doesn't working, make it a clean break before you move on. That way, you won't risk hurting two women and yourself. So you won't come to regret what it would've been like if you have tried everything.' Because," Nancy looked deep into his eyes as if reaching into his very soul, "if she and my husband were to go through with it, I will never forgive them."
That was one of the reasons why she restrained herself from doing the wrong thing. Nancy knew she could never forgive the other woman, which in this case Nancy was the other woman. Though, if she were being honest with herself, Draco was worth risking the hated. Even though his wife could never forgive her. But she quickly pushed that thought away.
As great as it may sound being with Draco, Nancy would feel guilty as hell if she were the one breaking their marriage. His marriage must have already been so bad or else he would not be here with her. However, she did not want to be the stroll that breaks the camel's back.
"Thank you," he murmured. She could only smile sadly at him.
And with that, he walked out of the room, living Nancy by herself.
She let out a sigh. She had only met him tonight, yet her heart felt crushed. It felt as if she had been in love with him all along. But that was the right thing to do.
"It's the right thing to do," she spoke out loud, trying to convince herself that she had done something nobble. Yet she found herself crying. She must have liked him more than she had thought was possible. She still couldn't believe that she was crying over the man she had barely known.
Draco opened the door quietly and walked into the big dark bedroom. He knew she must've been sleeping for a while now. He took of his clothes and changed into his pajamas, walked toward his side of the bed and slipped in.
The female shifted slightly. She had been sleeping so soundly and had no idea what almost happened tonight, he contemplated to himself and let out an inaudible sigh.
"You're back." A sleepy voice said, half asked half stated.
"Yes," he murmured. It was their routine greeting that no longer held meanings. Just an empty routine.
"How did it end up like this?" he asked quietly both to her and to himself.
"What do you mean?" she shifted slightly to face him wasn't sure what subject he was on.
"Us. How did our marriage end up so… complicated?" he stared at the dark ceiling. She understood his meaning. She too felt like giving up. Sometime she just wanted to drop everything and run away.
They barely saw each other anymore. He always worked late because the company wasn't in a very good shape. She too was working in an advertising company which sometimes could be stressful. When they had little free time together, they spend it arguing about their family problems.
Hermione's mother, who burned money like paper because her gambling habit always asked for more money, added more burden on Hermione's shoulders. Hermione could not desert her mother no matter how terrible her bad habits was . Her younger brother was a trouble maker and often got himself into fights. She was so frustrated yet Draco was never around when she needed him. She just wanted someone to listen to her.
Draco never returned until eleven or passed midnight. She would wait for him until she could wait no longer and fell asleep. He canceled their dates more often than she could count. When she confronted him, they ended up in heated argument or ended with a silent treatment; sometimes slammed the door in each other's face.
"I don't know." She sighed softly. She felt tired too. No matter how hard she tried, they always ended up fighting. She was so tired of sleeping alone. So tired of coming to a cold empty house. She wasn't even sure that she was married because she always alone.
"Is there still a chance for us?" he asked blankly. "Should I hold on or should I… give up?"
He could feel her body tense beside him. He finally brought up the words. Their relationship could really come to an end.
"Today… I considered having an affair." He let it out robotically.
He noticed her body went rigid and he knew he had hurt her.
Her shaking voice that almost came out as a choking sound was the proof, "Why?"
"I don't know. For a moment, I just wanted to… escape. Just for a moment, I wanted to forget everything. We don't even talk anymore, Hermione," if he wanted to work it out with her, he would be as honest as he could. He had decided he would try his best and gave everything he had got to make things work. If she were willing to work with him that is.
The start of their relationship was so carefree. But somewhere along the way, there were problems; problems with her mother and brother, problems with Draco's family's company. They both had been too busy with their work and barely had time for each other. They always fought, sometimes because of bad timing and misunderstanding, and problems just kept on increasing. It got all tangled up and they both felt drained.
"Would it make you feel better? Having an affair? Is our marriage really that much of a burden to you?" She asked angrily beside him but did not get up. He could hear the edge in her voice that she was trying hard to not make it into one of those shouting arguments that usually lead them nowhere. Her hurt voice felt like a blade to him. He had hurt her. He had hurt her terribly!
"No, it will not."
"Why?"
"Because I've hurt you. Hermione. You know that the one thing I hate the most in the world is hurting you. I'm sorry." And he truly was. It torn him apart seeing her, the woman he loved, like this. Just the idea of him thinking of having an affair hurt her this much, he did not want to imagine what would have happened if he truly did had an affair.
The reality hit him straight in the face when he saw her body silently screamed the word betrayal. He knew she was crying in the dark. Shame and guilt pinned his entire being with the weight as heavy as the world itself. It would have destroyed her and would've killed him if he had gone through with the affair.
"What if I tell you, this is as far as our marriage could go?" Hermione spoke after a long pause of silence. There was anger and exhaustion in her voice, yet she sounds so cold.
It was his turn to feel shock. He felt as if a hot knife had just stabbed into his chest. Her word felt unreal. His entire body felt numb yet he also felt fear. As if someone was pointing on gun to his head and start clicking the trigger. The room went completely silence, only their breathing could be heard. He was lost for word.
"It's unacceptable," he finally found his voice. He was speaking to no one in particular. Yes, he had thought that their marriage was in trouble, but he never believed that it could end. The sounded of her cold voice made it felt real. Make it felt like it was about to end and he would never be her husband again. Such thought terrified him.
"Why?" she wanted to know.
"I will not accept it." He murmured. "It's unacceptable," he repeated.
"Why would you not accept it?" she was curios.
"Because I," he paused, couldn't finish the sentence, though he knew perfectly clear why.
"Because?" She was waiting for him to continue. He could hear the curiosity in her voice and that her anger had subsided a little.
He shifted toward her, pulling her body into his embrace. She did not resist and let his hand gently stoked her soft curly hair, "Because I'm still in love with you," he whispered.
Hermione let out a soft sigh. She was still angry and hurt at the fact that he considered cheating and ending the marriage, but it would not help drilling on it. They had to move on. They already have enough problems as it was and if she were to add this fact into the problems then their relationship might really sink.
The fact that he was still not willing to let her go gave her some hopes that they could still work things out. The moment he asked her if their marriage were hopeless, what she feared most was that he had stop loving her and wanted to end the marriage.
She brought a hand to his muscular chest, "Our marriage… I don't know if it will work out. I don't know if we will survive," she spoke in a matter-of-fact tone. "But I'm not ready to let you go yet." And with that, he knew they had come to an agreement. They would try to make it work. "But it won't be the same answer if you've had gone through with the affair today," she added, bitterness in her voice.
She wasn't sure if she could take it if he had cheated on her. Their situation had already been terrible enough and she would have no strength left to hold on to him if he betrayed her.
"It will never happen again for as long as I live." And he meant it. The moment he saw how much he had hurt her pull him back to reality. No matter how good the idea seemed at the time, it would solve nothing. If anything, it would only create more problems. And the thought of putting Hermione, the woman he loved, into such painful state when he had vowed to protect her would kill him. The guilt would have burned him alive.
"I trust you," she whispered. She had always trusted him and he would never destroy her trust again. He had learned his lesson.
"What was she like?" Hermione could not help but asked. "Was she really pretty?"
"Do you really have to know?" he sighed softly wasn't sure if would do more harm or good.
"Yes," she answered in a stubborn tone that told him she would get the answer out of him one way or another. She always got things her way when she wanted it bad enough.
"She's reminded me of you. Of when our relationship just started and how you made me laughed. I missed... us."
"Am I not good enough for you now?" She asked bitterly. He sighed as he embraced her tighter and nuzzled of her crown.
"I'm sorry, Hermione. For a million time I'm sorry for hurting you. But as wrong as it may sounds. It made me realized just how much I am still in love with you. And as tempting as she was, she isn't you." Draco sighed softly, "What do I have to do to take your pain away?"
Hermione sighed too. No matter how angry or hurt she was, she could not deny that she still loved him. She still wanted to try and work things out with him. "Don't ever hurt me again. Don't give up on us before I do. Don't be tempted no matter how pretty the other girl was."
"I promise." He kissed her clown and nuzzled against her. She cuddled and hugged him tightly. Both sighed and closed their eyes. It had been a long day.
They would start anew tomorrow.
.
July 30, 2013
This was originally written for RinXSesshomaru, an Inuyasha fanfic, but no one seemed to pay it attention so I changed it to Harry Potter fanfic instead. I don't normally spend so much days after write and rewrite a story but since I've been done so with this one, I want more people to read it. Hope it's a good read and hope they are not too OCC. Review please.