DISCLAIMER: I do not own CSI: Miam and I do not make any money from it.

Left Alone

"Hi, Dad."

"Hi, son," Horatio replied, smiling as the face of his son filled the screen. They hadn't really talked in a while, mainly because both of them had been so busy. Especially at the Crime Lab things had been insane.

Jake had returned from undercover, claiming he never wanted to go back to it. Calleigh had let him back in her house since he had nowhere else to go, leaving Eric quite jealous. And then when Calleigh had announced she was having a baby… with Jake, things of course had gone entirely over the top. There had been rough fights between Jake and Eric at the lab and similar things.

Calleigh, whom Horatio never would have guessed to see really crying and sobbing, had ended up in tears, most likely due to the hormones running through her body since she was with child. Horatio vividly recalled taking her home and her asking him to please don't go; that she couldn't take to see either Jake or Eric anytime soon.

He of course hadn't been able to, since he had a crime lab to run. And so he had suggested Natalia to check up on her during lunch to make sure she was alright. And now she and Jake were living together at her house. He would never get it. Of course Calleigh was amazing in many ways, but things had gone just insane since Jake and she had gotten involved again, and then Eric and she… and now Jake and she again. Indeed, a lot had happened in the eight weeks he hadn't talked to his son.

"Dad? You look very troubled."

"I am," Horatio admitted.

"What's wrong, Dad?" Kyle wondered; a frown creasing the lines on his forehead. He appeared truly concerned for his father's well-being. The Kyle of then was no longer the Kyle of now. He had grown up.

"Nothing for you to worry about," Horatio said, before adding, "The lab is just sometimes…"

"Insane."

Horatio smiled again. "Yes. I would guess that's the word. Insane." He could notice a smile appear on Kyle's lips, but it didn't seem sincere. "How are you doing over there? You seem troubled as well, son."

"I'm fine, Dad… There's something that I wanted to ask you, though."

"Go ahead," Horatio said, a frown now creasing the lines on his forehead.

"Well… I try mail you and Mom whenever possible." Horatio nodded. Indeed, he had gotten mails from Afghanistan every once in a while, even though not in the latest eight weeks. "Well, I couldn't in the last few weeks, but Mom hasn't mailed anything in the meantime either. I mean, there were mails of you when I got access to the internet again, but nothing of Mom. I mean…nothing. That's not like her. You wouldn't give her that, but she's overly worried most of the time. I haven't heard of her in months, and so I was wondering if you have seen or heard from her maybe."

Horatio quietly raised his eyebrows at the information given, and then replied, "No, I haven't heard of her either, but I'll check up on her after I finished here, alright?"

Kyle sighed, and then nodded. "Yeah, thank you. Sorry, Dad. I have to go. Mail me when you have heard of her, okay? It is not like her."

Horatio nodded. "I will. Don't forget to mail us either."

"I won't. Bye, Dad."

"Bye, son," Horatio replied, before the connection was broken, and the screen turned gray. He sighed, pushing down the lid of the laptop, before leaning backward into his chair. Indeed, it wasn't much like Julia not to let their son hear of her in so long. Kyle and his conversation would leave him thinking for the rest of the day, until he could assure his son and maybe himself that Julia was doing fine. That's right when his phone began buzzing in his pocket, announcing yet another case of horrible murder.

Julia was however not doing fine, not at all. She was locked up in her own bedroom, and it's uncertain to say how long she had stayed in there. Her otherwise neat space was now a mess of dirty and clean clothes, books and shoes all over.

She however was curled up in bed with no desire to leave it, she at the moment felt no reason to be alive; she just wanted to get away from it all. It had all started a while back when a customer had given her a very hard time, something she was unable to deal with at the time. It made her go home to rethink her whole life, concluding that every aspect of it was rather depressing.

Firstly she had once loved a man that had made sure to leave enough trace for her to end up pregnant, but not enough trace to be found after the fact. Back then Julia didn't plan to become a mother, and it didn't fit her well either. So she had did what she thought was best at the time, left her young son with her parents, while she tried to find work and other ways to survive. The plan was to get Kyle back when she had gotten a place and enough money, only it didn't fold out that way. She had been with a couple of men after John, none of the special. Then she met her first husband, he was wealthy and handsome and she hoped he could save her from her misery. She thought wrong and he ended up dead.

If she really did love him, she didn't in fact know, but she did think of him in the aftermath. After this she got reunited with John or Horatio, which was his name and their son and somehow managed to get herself another bad husband. He ended up harming her in the worst ways.

Kyle however turned out to be the love of her life, the one thing that did want her to keep sane, only now it was too hard. She couldn't even contact him due to the fact that she felt unworthy of being his mother and his love.

Silent tears were falling from her eyes as she curled up more under the cover. Why did it have to be so hard? What was the use of this house when she had no one to share it with? At least now when Kyle was in Afghanistan. And Julia missed him; she really missed her little prince. She had used to email him, only that simple form of communication made her realize how alone she was and how much she missed him, making it too hard for her in the end.

She didn't mail, take her phone or answer the door anymore; it was just easier to hide from the world than to be in it in one of her manic phases. Having people look at her like she was a freak. Julia sighed hiding deeper into the covers crying herself back to a world that was much more harmonic than the one she was really in.

Horatio had just come back after gathering the evidence from the scene. It had been horrible. A single mother that was about just about Julia's age with a twelve year old son. So far he assumed that judging from the medications on the kitchen counter and the mess here and there, which she just couldn't take it anymore and gunned down her son then herself.

The investigation had only just started, but to Horatio it was what it looked like at first glance. He sighed wondering what had made her draw the final straw and kill her son. Even if she was depressed as the prescribed medications said, it was no excuse.

He sighed as his mind went to Julia, her depression. He knew there was very little to be done about it. He remembered how she a little over two years earlier had endangered their son by holding people on his lab at gunpoint. She later realized what she had done and got help, but it had taken them some time to work through that.

As he slowly walked towards his office his thinking got interrupted by Calleigh yelling, "Didn't I tell you I never wanted to see you again."

"Calleigh, please be reasonable," he heard Jake say. Horatio couldn't help, but to smile a little amused by the two of them.

"Give me one good reason," she said, calmer now though.

"We are having a baby, a tiny Berkley and he needs both of us," he said.

"That may be, but it's a Duquesne and it's a girl," she stated.

"No, it's a boy, I just know," said Jake.

"Excuse me for interrupting, but shouldn't you be at home?" Horatio turned to ask, looking at the petite blonde.

"I forgot something," she answered him.

"Hmmm, then I suggest you get it and go back home as you need rest and that arguing you are doing isn't good for either of you or the rest," the redhead said.

She didn't replay much to that. Neither did Jake, he just heard that on the way to firearms they were going back and forth between Berkley and Duquesne, but not in a bad way. He figured Jake would most likely take her home.

Horatio shook his head thinking that at least they were two raising the baby or was it two to mess it up. He wasn't quite sure about that fact. Again his mind went to Julia. He had many times tried to figure out what she must have been through back in the days when she got pregnant with Kyle.

How alone and lost she must have felt.

He sighed as he looked at the time, one hour left of his workday. Usually he would work overtime, but as he had decided to check on Julia he wouldn't do so today, to a change.

He was just about to enter his office when he heard another annoyed scream from Calleigh and headed in direction of "her" lab instead.

Horatio just didn't get that if they were a so good couple as they at times seemed to be, why did they have to fight this much.

He just rounded the corner when he heard her yell, "Go to hell."

"Calleigh," Jake said his usual way.

"Oh no," she said, shaking her head, they were now in the hallway outside her lab.

He sighed and said, "Fine, I'll go!"

"No, don't go…" she doubted.

"What do you want?" he said a tad frustrated, as Horatio approached them.

"Stay, no…go," she said, making him raise his brows at her.

"May I suggest something?" Horatio interfered.

"I'm listening," said Calleigh with a sigh, looking at the redhead.

"I would suggest that Jake take you home, then come back to work, and go back to check on you later. As I still think you need rest," said Horatio as he was thinking, "And I need peace so I can work."

"I suppose I can go along with that," said Calleigh with a heavy sigh before adding, "But I do prefer if I drive."

Jake sighed as he handed over the keys and said, "See you later Horatio."

Horatio gave them a dignified nod as the couple continued down the hallway without fighting anymore, at least not for now.

The redhead shook his head as he headed back towards his office, glancing into DNA where Ryan, Natalia and Valera were joking over something. He found it good to have Valera back after she transferred lab and left Miami. Things hadn't been the same without her. She however came back about five months after; he could however never figure that one out. Then again he didn't ask her about it. He had simply just said yes when she asked him to come back.

His eyes went to the AV lab where Eric was working with something. He had seemed ever so down after the break with Calleigh, but the last week he had seemed to take the fact that she was with Jake a little bit better.

As the redhead walked into his office, his eyes fell on a picture frame on his desk. There was a picture of Julia in it. It was taken a while back when the two of them were hanging out at her place. She was giggling happily, showing her great smile. Horatio really loved that picture. Maybe that also was because he loved Julia, he never spoke to her about it, but in a way he figured she knew.

He picked up his phone and tried to call her, but just got the machine, both on her cellphone and home phone. Horatio sighed, knowing that was not good at all.

He slowly closed the case files he was looking at and then his office. As he walked by the DNA lab, he poked his head in and said, "I'm going to go home a bit earlier today, so see you tomorrow."

"Is everything all right?" Natalia asked with concern, as Horatio never left early.

"Just some personal stuff I need to tend to," he answered, making her nod in an understanding way before he walked towards the exit.

About twenty minutes later Horatio parked his car in Julia's driveway and got out. He quickly walked up to her front door and rand the doorbell. No one answered, then again he expected as much. He had rung it more to be polite than anything else, as there really was no need for him to do so considering he had a key to her house as well. Mostly for emergencies than anything else.

He carefully locked himself in and called out for her, but there was no answer. The house seemed quiet, too quiet, and the first floor was neat and clean like no one had lived there for ages.

A shiver went down Horatio's spine as he feared something really bad had happened to his Julia. He thought about it for a second wondering if he in fact could call her that, considering he had never claimed her, not even after the divorce with Ron.

The again the two of them had in his eyes always had an understanding that went a little deeper that friendship.

"Julia," he called out as he headed up to the second floor where her bedroom was.

Still nothing, just silence, he slowly neared the bedroom and stood for a minute listening outside the door. He could from the inside hear her sad cries. He knocked on the door before entering her private sphere.

His eyes used a moment to adjust to the bad light as the curtains were still pulled for. After what he could see the room was one huge mess. Very unlike her, even in her bad periods.

"Julia," Horatio spoke, making the woman in the bed startle and come out from the covers. She looked at him with wondering eyes before speaking, "Horatio, what are you doing here?"

"Checking on you and by the looks of it it was high time I did," he said, as he sat down by the edge of the bed.

"If you were so concerned why haven't you come before?" she questioned.

"I didn't realize how long it had been since I heard from you until Kyle made me aware of the fact. He's worried about you…" Horatio finished his sentence.

"And you?" she asked.

"I must admit I am, especially when I see you like this, Julia, you can't live like this, you need to go outside and have a social life," said Horatio in a serious tone.

Julia looked away sighing before answering, "I don't think I am up for that."

"Then I will help you," he said, letting his hand caress over her cheek.

"Are you sure it is a good idea to be seen with someone like me?" she asked, looking at him with insecure eyes.

"I don't see that it should be a problem, I mean you are after all the woman that I love. If people should happen to have a problem with that, well then that is their case," said Horatio without thinking.

"You…you love me?" Julia said, looking at him with questioning eyes.

"I do very much yes, so what do you say to leaving this bedroom and go downstairs for some air," he offered.

"I can agree to that," she said and very slowly got out of the bed, trying to find her way to the door without stepping on something on the messy floor.

Horatio didn't really care that she was only wearing a short black nightgown. He just watched her as she slowly opened the door. She turned to him saying, "Are you coming handsome."

"Yes…yes of course," Horatio answered as he joined her side.

"And Horatio," she said with a little smile.

"Yes sweetheart," he said and smiled back.

"I love you too. Will you remind me to mail Kyle later," she said, gently closing the door to the messy room. Horatio just nodded as they continued towards the stairs leading them to the first floor. Horatio took her hand in his, making her smile, by the simple thought that she would never again be left alone.

Feedback always welcome and very much appreciated :o)