N/A: Alright guys. I know it's really bad to post a new story when you're so far behind on another, but this one is really close to my heart.
What is revealed at the very end of this chapter (which you'll have to read to find out because I'm not telling you,) is true for me too. And it's really hard sometimes. You should know that everything Gabriella endures to do with THAT is from my personal experience, because I deal with some of the same things, not as bad though thankfully.. - well, other than Troy Bolton. I could only dream. So anyway, Hope you like it, and please review if you'd like me to continue or have any suggestions or comments.
Love y'all.
India Rose (LilMissEfronJackson) x x x

Tomorrow Would Never Change

Conscious

There was only one thing Gabriella Montez hated more than being at school.

And that was people staring.

She kept her head down as she made her way though the doors of East High. Her soft, wavy curls left to rest at her shoulders. As she entered, Gabriella felt the familiar itch, the ache, of people's eyes on her, their stares haunting her thoughts with every step she took.

Self-conscious, Gabriella recited silently, trying to calm herself.

Adjective. Definition: Feeling undue awareness of oneself, one's appearance, or one's actions. having knowledge of one's own existence. the knowledge of oneself as a conscious being.

Self-consciousness. Something Gabriella knew hit every girl on her weaker days. But Gabriella Marie Montez, the math geek, knew nothing but exactly that. Everyday, she was reminded of how she was did not quite fit in.
Everyday of her life she tried to fit a rhombus into a square. Everyday, she failed, and it hit her like a slap in the face.
Only this year had been worse.

This year, she was a senior.

She carried on down the hall, her thoughts racing, paranoid, fragile, unknown, and invisible to the outside world. She kept her eyes on the floor that was too white in order to not have to look up at the lockers and peppy walls that were too red. She concentrated all her energy on walking as straight and level-balanced as possible towards her locker. If she really tried, she'd get there with minimal collateral damage. No falls, no tripping over bags, or her own feet. Just a walk to her locker. That's all she wanted.

More eyes looked questioningly her way as she passed them. Some more questioningly than others, Gabriella observed. They must be new. She didn't bother to look and see who's eyes it was that were following her body, because they'd all pretend they had never been looking if she did.

Nervously, Gabriella pulled at her blue blouse, feeling a pair of eyes belonging to a certain blonde, prima donna settle on her with a gaze she knew would be filled with the same hurtful amusement and disbelief.

Not long now until you reach your locker, she thought to herself hastily. Not that it mattered though. She'd still be stared at when she got there anyway.

As Gabriella heard laughter - she felt the familiar pang through her chest - one of panic, anxiety, and everlasting loneliness. It was laughter between friends, something she'd never really known. Groups were formed when people found a common ground.

Gabriella had never stepped on such ground.

The only friend she had was a brainiac, African-American named Taylor McKessie, and though they had been to each other's houses many times, Gabriella never really felt very connected to her out of school. Though Taylor had been lovely towards her, she still struggled with the mutual connection that she desperately wanted.

The laughter continued, and she realised it belonged to a group of males. She tried to will herself not to look up, but her body would not obey her mind. As soon as she did, she regretted it. Her gaze fell on the group of basketball players who were gathered near their lockers - and unfortunately, near hers too. She only allowed herself a tiny glance at the dark-haired male in the centre of the group. The one wished didn't stare like the rest of them. She didn't allow herself to stare long enough to meet his eyes of course and she quickly reached the temporary sanctuary of her locker. She felt a breeze as the group whooshed past her - she willed her eyes to stay staring into her locker, but they strayed as she watched the flash of blue carry on in the centre of the males, moving swiftly down the hall. She watched him blankly.

Hardly believing that the being that appeared to be so much like a man really was Troy Bolton.

She shook her head, willing with all her self-control to focus only on getting through the day so she could go to bed with a book. She gathered her books for the morning and made her way to homeroom, stepping through the door of Ms Darbus' classroom cautiously, checking the floor for any objects her unbalanced body could trip over. She sat at the back of the room a good ten minutes before the bell, wishing she could become completely invisible, and stay that way.

"Good Morning, class. I trust you all had a good summer and are back refreshed and ready to learn." The class - all but Gabriella - groaned as Ms Darbus continued, oblivious. "Now - onto the wonderful realms of.. Shakespeare!"

Another groan erupted and Gabriella took a deep breath, focusing on the black board at the front. She had Ms Darbus for homeroom, and English, but she really didn't mind. She could sit in lessons forever because she always sat at the back, no one had their eyes on her, and if they did, they'd get caught by the teacher. She let her mind become absorbed by the lesson, by the soft poetic language, and unfortunately for Gabriella, time travelled fast.

Soon enough, there was only fifteen minutes left of the lesson, and Gabriella's mind began to go through the homework assignment she would have to do and the books she'd have to take home. Her thoughts were consumed, when she suddenly realised Ms Darbus was looking at her.

"Ms Montez." Gabriella blinked twice, and swallowed hard.

"Yes, Ms Darbus?"

"Since you are a star student, please may you read some Shakespeare for us?" she asked, and Gabriella swore she could see a kind look in her eye as she smiled, but it disappeared just as quickly as it appeared, and her dramatic demeanour returned.

"Please, Ms Darbus, I–"

"Others will have a turn too, Miss Montez. Shakespeare was written to be lived, not just observed," she said fruitfully as her voice rose with passion at the end of her sentence, and she waved her arms in gesture. "Come here to the front and read for us."

Gabriella fought the panic the bubbled inside her. Taylor was not in this class with her, meaning she had no friendly face of any kind. She tightened her grip on her sleeve as she heard chuckling from male in front of her, Jason Cross, who was engaged in a hushed conversation with the male next to him and not paying any attention to Ms Darbus at all.

"Mr Cross," she said sternly, making him jump round as he realised she was in front of him. "You're up next," she said to him in warning. Her gaze told the class that she mistook his amusement and did not realise his chuckle had in fact not been directed towards Gabriella, but towards the male beside him. Jason's eyes squinted as he looked at her.

"Up next for what?" The whole class groaned and chuckled at his inability to pay attention.

After a moment, the time taken for Ms Darbus to sigh hopelessly as Jason, eyes were on Gabriella again. Realising she could put it off any longer, she braced herself to stand. Only, standing after being seated in a hard and uncomfortable plastic chair for almost a whole morning, meant that standing was not quite as easy as it should be. Gabriella gripped the desk best she could as she struggled to find the strength to push herself up with no leg room. She silently cursed herself not tucking in her chair to such an extent earlier on, as the lack of leg room meant she was finding hard to have any room to stand and push her chair backward, she was losing her balance and making the chair scrape along the floor, making a hideous sound. Her legs were tight from the lack of movement over the last hour, adding to her struggle, but she finally made enough room to be able to step out from behind her desk. Staring at the ground in front of her feet, she made her way to the front of the room, feeling pair after pair of eyes on her body as she moves past each row. Nearly all were innocent glances, but to Gabriella they bore into her like blistering fire - her mind adamant that they all knew about her complete crumbling interior and wanted to make it worse. Time seemed to travel in slow motion, as she kept her eyes on the ground, automatically scanning it for any items that could cause her harm. Her mind screamed at her that everyone was watching and that she should walk as straight as possible, but her tight legs were achey and her choice of ballet flats on her feet this morning had been a bad one, she realised, as she felt the hollow of her back deepen, and her body slump forward as she walked. She felt her posture slip hopelessly, thanks to her tiredness, and she looked up as she neared Mr Darbus, realising too late her mistake. Before her slow and unbalanced body could react, her foot slipped into the strap of a schoolbag on the floor. Unknowing, Gabriella took another step forward, only to fall forwards when her foot caught and tangled with the bag strap. In less than half a second, her body had connected with the floor, knees first, and she cringed, realising, not only the pain in her knee, but also what had just happened.

She didn't raise her eyes, but just slowly raised herself back to her feet after a second, ignoring her knee that ached and throbbed desperately. She briefly heard Ms Darbus enquire if she was alright, and she nodded mutely, about to return to her seat but agreed silently when the woman asked if she would like to go to the nurse. Gabriella didn't need the nurse, both herself and Ms Darbus knew perfectly well she didn't, however they both knew that the last place she needed to be was in that classroom.

This had been happening her whole life, her whole school life too, but that didn't make it any less excruciatingly embarrassing, or damaging to her vital self-esteem, or whatever was left of it.

Gabriella heard every single sneer and whisper that came from the class as she left, and saw the one sympathetic glance from Ms Darbus, all hope of walking straight leaving her as her shoulders sagged and posture twisted, her left leg and her right turning inwards - even more than usual - as she walked.

However. there were always things that Gabriella Montez didn't see.

Like the soft, none-threatening, gaze of a certain blue-eyed basketball MVP, Troy Bolton, that followed her as she left blindly.

However, Mr Darbus saw it all. She watched on as the Troy Bolton's brow furrowed with what appeared to be discomfort as those around him jeered, and confusion as he subtly wondered what was wrong with the girl leaving the room. But Gabriella left the room lifelessly, and she was sure she heard the 'S' word being hurled in whispers at her.
Gabriella did not see the one soft gaze - because she didn't look for it. She walked through the halls, wanting to give into the tears desperately, but pushing them away. She knew they would do her no good.

Because Gabriella Montez was physically disabled.

She was the school spaz, and that was never going to change.