I've never been the type to say what I feel
So basically I keep everything inside
and with you it was no different
I want to tell you, believe me I've tried
But there's part of me that just can't take that chance
So I doubt that you'll ever know
Which may be fine with you,
but it's hurting me
I choose not to show it though
I guess I'm your secret admirer
That name seems to fit just right
I don't know what I like about you
But you're on my mind, day and night
Maybe it's the way you look
So sexy I can't get enough
Or how you make me feel when you come around
I instantly forget all other stuff
Maybe it's the way you say my name
Or maybe it's the way you smile
Then again it might just be everything
Getting to know you seems worth my while
But I guess I'll never know what it is
My true feelings I could never reveal to you
I'll just admire you from a distance
I'm not sure what else there is to do
-Your secret admirer.
Spencer Reid stared in disbelief at the small piece of paper that had been previously folded like a heart and placed on his desk with his name written in elegant script. Was this for real? Or was someone playing a cruel trick on him. All of Spencer's life Valentine's Day had been a day of despair. In high school, no one dared even glance at the genius, much too young to know what love was. The same persisted still throughout his stumbling, bumbling adulthood. He was lucky if anyone spared him a passing glance before he through the whole thing to hell by rambling on about some pointless statistic.
Yes, the poem was sweet and very well done. Whoever had written it had a real talent in the area…that is unless they just found it on the internet. No, Spencer decided with a small smile, it was much to perfectly intimately made. Just for him, he decides with a grin, not caring if it was true or not.
Spencer stuffed the poem in his pocket and proceeded on, with a spring in his step, albeit, as he trudged through paperwork, which all too conspicuously, didn't seem to shrink. Around noon, Spencer got up for his fourth cup of coffee and came back to another small little folded heart on his desk.
Crumbled papers
Of poems about you
Written with words
That will never come true
Written in ink
That will never fade away
The hopeful words
I wish I could say
Hands still shaking
As I continue to write
Scribbled letters
Of black and white
Eager to tell you
How I feel
Wishing I could prove
My love is real
-Your Secret Admirer
Spencer rereads the poem, before folding it back up and putting it in his pocket. He glances around inconspicuously, if only he could have seen the small hopeful smile on his best friend's face.
It wasn't until lunch that Spencer received another love note. He had stayed behind while everyone but Derek, Hotch, and Rossi had gone out to lunch. When he went to the bathroom, a note, again a folded heart, was left on his desk, on top of his cup of coffee.
If I had one wish
It would be to give you a long and tender kiss
If I had two wishes then
I would choose to do it over again
Three wishes, you say
I would have kisses for an entire day
Four wishes would not be too many
Ten kisses I would ask, or even twenty
Five wishes might be too much
Then I would choose for a gentle touch
I would wrap my arms around you and hold you ever so tight
I will hold you gently until day melts into night
Six wishes would be very nice
I could hug you more than twice
Seven could be what I need
But only if you readily agreed
To love me on into the night
Till day breaks with early morning light
Eight wishes I will ask
Would you grant me this tender loving task
Nine wishes, no one get so many
I think that nine would be more than plenty
What I really want is wish number ten
This very wish would make me the happiest of men
I would kiss you
I would hold you
I would love you
I would give you my heart and life
Ten wishes then
-Your Secret Admirer
Spencer's jaw dropped, now that was a poem! He looked around hurriedly, desperately wanting to know who his secret admirer was. There was no one here but…
Hotch. No, not him. He's married.
Rossi? No, definitely not.
Morgan…
There was no way that Morgan returned his feelings…was there. Spencer glances around again and then folds the note back up, slipping it in his pocket with the others. An hour later, almost everyone was gone. Garcia was still here along with Morgan, Reid, Hotch, Rossi, and Prentiss. When Spencer got up to get yet another cup of coffee, or so he pretended, he stood behind the door way and carefully watched his desk.
Derek Morgan stood, and looks around nonchalantly before throwing another perfectly folded heart on his best friend's desk. He bites his bottom lip, Spencer would never know, nor would he ever reciprocate.
See you smiling every day
hiding the way I feel,
Want to tell you everything
but my lips are sealed,
Loving you with all my heart
but you will never know,
Feelings for you are locked away
I hope they never go,
I never cease to by amazed
how beautiful you look,
Now my heart will suffer in silence
because of the chance I never took.
-Your Secret Admirer
When Spencer comes back in, he reads the note and cant help but grin. He look around again, pretending he doesn't know and sits down and pretends to work, while his own note he constructs. He waits for Derek to… ah. Now, there he goes. He folds his own note in the perfect little heart and carefully scripts Derek's name on the front. He throws it on his desk.
Derek comes back in and his soft brown eyes widen when he sees Spencer's heartfelt note. Spencer gets up and gathers his things whilst Derek unfolds it. Spencer brushes his hand along his shoulder. Derek jumps and looks to him, Spencer smirks and heads out the door without a word. Derek finally opens the note and his eyes scan every line, not believing what he's reading.
How should I explain
Without sounding insane,
When your heart knows
What's deep in your soul
Can it simply be placed on a page?
What emotion surpasses love
With an intensity untold?
What faith towers devotion
These words I do not know.
How can I attest to loyalty
That exceeds any measure,
How do I speak of honor
Greater than time spans forever?
If I knew of these words
I would say them to you,
Because, My Love, they are my feelings
Heart-felt, genuine and true.
So how do you tell someone
They are more precious than life,
How does one adequately express
What words cannot describe?
Do you have someone who loves you
As I have spoken of,
Do they have for you these feelings
Well do they now, my love?
Do you have someone who loves you
In your life who makes you happy,
Do they fulfill your dreams and fantasies
Or do you find them somewhat lacking?
Do you have someone who loves you,
Who comforts you when you're sad,
Who supports you in all your endeavors
Is always there to lend a hand?
Do you have someone who loves you
Who does not fault you
Or assigns blame,
Who sees you as perfection
And would not change a thing?
Do you have someone who loves you
As unbelievable as it may seem,
Would trade their every possession
Just to share the air you breathe?
Do you have someone who loves you
Who right or wrong is by your side,
Who would lay down their life for you
And never know sacrifice?
Please, please come to me
Can't you see we are meant to be,
I need you, you need me
It is our fate, our destiny.
But time he is a villain
Every second he steals away,
Ensuring the future forever fleeting
We cannot let it go to waste.
So come to me, My Love
Our secret unmask as truth,
Come take the hand of the one
Created to be with you.
Listen to your heart, deny no longer
What you know is absent in your life,
Don't cast me aside, don't condemn us forever
To living separate lives.
Do you have someone who loves you?
Don't you know you do?
Because you just have to know
that who you not-so-secretly admire loves you too!
-Your not-so-secret admire
Spencer.
Derek reads it over. And over. And over again. His breath catching in his throat each time, every time he reads the final line. And then he grins, a grin filled with a content he had yet to know, and he races to pack his things, and it takes all his control not to run out of the building. When the cool night air kisses his skin a peel of laughter, ever-so-sweet, snaps his head in the direction of his care, which of course is where Spencer stands.
Spencer's arms are folded, tucked into his armpits, hiding his fingers from the frigid night. He offers Derek a crooked smile as he walks his way, "Not too good at the whole, Secret Admirer thing, are you?"
Derek stands in front of the name who he had fallen for ever so long ago, he cock an eyebrow and tilts his head, "How did you know?"
Spencer graces him with a wide happy smile. "During lunch it was just you, me, Hotch, and Rossi. I didn't think it was either of them, nor did I ever let myself hope it was you…that is until I peeked when I went to get my coffee again."
"You cheated!" Derek accuses.
Spencer shrugs, "If I hadn't, I would have never had the guts to give you that note. Which, by the way, where did you get yours?"
Derek shrugs, embarrassed, "I didn't get them anywhere." he mumbles.
Spencer face splits in a delighted grin. He steps forward and takes a breath before slipping his arms around Derek's neck. Derek jumps, startled but not unpleasantly. He cant help but grin as he rests his hands on Spencer's hips. Spencer chuckles as he leans in, inches from Derek's lips, he whispers heatedly, "Well, then. I wonder what other areas you could possibly be talented in…?"