Disclaimer: I own nothing—not the characters, not the music…nothing. Well, except for the unhealthy obsession with all things Samcedes.
A/N: Okay, so, I was just checking out my tumblr blog and see this vid posted by princess976 and kurenai24 of Beyonce singing '1+1' backstage before a show. Inspiration struck and 2hrs later, this one-shot was born. Just enjoy it for what it is. S/O to my tumblr peeps (who know there as fluvinsamcedes) and the Mercedes Mafia for keeping me rolling! Please forgive any errors!
1 + 1
"…so, in parting, class, I'd would like to remind you that your term papers will be due no later than this Friday. That's three days away, people. Heed this notice, no late papers will be accepted."
Sam Evans stared straight ahead as Mrs. Longman prattled on about due dates and whatnot, but his mind was about as far away from his literature class as it could get. In fact, his mind had barely registered the fact that it was Tuesday. His mind was, as it had been for the last few days, stuck on last Wednesday.
On last Tuesday, he sang a duet with his lady and it was more than he could have ever hoped for. She was beautiful—radiant, really—as she sang with him. Something about the sparkle in her eyes told him it was a special moment. Then, once the song was done, they stood face to face, closer than they'd been in months. He could still feel how his heart beat an erratic staccato inside his chest as he searched her eyes for an answer to his unspoken question. She gave the subtlest of replies without saying a word, instead allowing her eyes to speak for her. He took a chance and leaned closer, beyond ecstatic when she leaned toward him in kind and their lips met. Thinking of that moment always caused his heart rate to increase and his breath to come in short pants. By no means was the kiss as fiery or deep as their previous kisses, but this one held the one thing he'd thought he'd lost forever—hope. In his mind, the chaste, but powerful, kiss signaled that their love was in fact, not as distant as they'd once thought. Following the kiss, their eyes had met and he'd seen that old familiar spark, his heart nearly bursting from joy at the sight. Then, Wednesday happened.
On Wednesday, he approached his lady love with a renewed sense of hope only to have his heart ripped out by four simple words.
"It was a mistake."
It was a mistake.
It.
Was.
A.
Mistake.
Sam called "bullshit", more out of frustration and hurt than anything else.
His lady, one Mercedes Jones, knew this but she allowed his emotions to turn the course of their conversation. They argued, she again reminded him that she was with Shane and that whatever they had was in the past. And in the past it should remain.
"Sam-" she began.
"No. No, you don't get to do this, Mercy." He interrupted. "You and I both know that was supposed to happen. No matter how hard we fought against it, it happened."
She turned from him then, unable to face the truth in his eyes. Her voice was whisper soft, "Sam, we have to move on, both of us." She wrapped her arms around herself, as if the simple act of doing so would help her keep it together.
Sam crossed the short distance to her, turning her to face him. His heart broke as he saw the unshed tears in her eyes. His body responded automatically, enveloping her in his embrace. Mercedes sank into his arms as her tears hovered ever so close to falling, remembering what it felt like to love this man. Just as quickly as she allowed herself to enjoy the moment, she pulled away, putting distance between them.
"No."
"No? Mercy-"
"Sam, "the tremor in her voice gave him reason enough to pause. "We kissed, yes. It was amazing, yes. But it was also very, very wrong." He opened his mouth to protest and she silenced him with a pleading look. "Sam, when we were together, you told me how much it hurt you when you found out that Quinn and Santana cheated on you. You said it nearly broke your trust in people, Sam." She drew a shaky breath and he used the momentary pause to interject.
"Mercy, it's not the same." He offered.
She scoffed at his comment, "Not the same, Sam? It is exactly the same! That kiss…turned us both into something we thought we'd never be, Sam. How can I respect myself after that? How can I continue to look Shane in the eye, knowing I've been unfaithful? Hell, why would you even want to be with anyone like me?" The realization of her statement caused her knees to buckle; she sat on the nearest desk to steady herself.
Sam took in the woman before him, wishing desperately to soothe the pain she was feeling. That was part of the reason he hesitated before their kiss, he knew it would change things dramatically. Their mutual view on loyalty was something that else that brought them so close during their brief romance during the summer. Sam knew Mercedes was loyal and trustworthy to a fault, it was just one thing he fell in love with. He let his stupid selfishness and impatience get the best of him. He wished like hell he could take this from her and put all the blame on himself.
"Mercy," his voice raw with emotion. "I'm so sorry. You'll never know how sorry I am. We both made a mistake in judgment, but I will never think of that kiss as a mistake." He crouched down before her, forcing her to look him in the eye. "I love you with everything in me and I know you feel the same way. No amount of time apart, no distance, no new people in our lives can change that. My heart is and will always be yours, never forget that."
"Sam, I'm a cheater, now. Of all the things I imagined I would be in life, this wasn't one of them."
The bell sounded like a claxon in his head, startling him from his morose thoughts and signaling the end of yet another school day. He gathered his books as if on autopilot, shuffling to his locker to put them away before heading to meet with his fellow glee clubbers. Just as he had done every day since their kiss, Sam sought out her eyes, offering a silent apology. Just as she did every day, she smiled at him sadly before turning to focus her attention on one of their friends. Sam's heart broke a little as it did each day she did that, he allowed his feet to lead him to fill an empty seat in the back.
"Dude, you gotta snap out of this." Puck told him as Mr. Schue began the day's lesson and instructed them the first fifteen minutes of class would be devoted to brainstorming song ideas.
"Not now, Puck." He warned in a low voice, his eyes never leaving the whiteboard at the front of the room.
"No. I'm sick of seeing you guys put yourselves through this pain."
Sam was shocked by the sincere note in his friend's voice. He turned to see the mohawked teen looking at him somberly. "Why do you care?"
Puck's eyes found Quinn as she sat several rows away, engaging in conversation with Sugar and Tina. "Let's just say, I believe that two people who care about each other as much as you two obviously do shouldn't let anything keep you apart." Pulling his eyes away, he gave Sam a brief clap on the shoulder. "Not even a bulldozer."
Sam appreciated his friend's concern and encouraging words, but he truly had no idea of how to mend the rift that now existed between himself and Mercedes. They weren't even on speaking terms and she was apparently still blaming herself for what happened between them. So, he did as he had been doing for the last week…he did nothing as his heart broke again for the love he could no longer have.
Mercedes could vaguely decipher what was being said to her through the muddle that was her mind. She tried valiantly to respond appropriately to Kurt when he spoke, but she was sure he knew she wasn't really paying attention. Her mind kept drifting back to the defeated look in Sam's eyes during yesterday's glee session.
"So, I told Blaine I hated him and proceeded to make out with Rachel and Brittany."
"Oh, okay. That's great." Mercedes responded.
"Alright, enough of this. Mercedes Jones!" Santana decided it was time to put this to an end.
Mercedes heard her name spoken sharply, realizing that if Santana was calling her by her real name, shit was about to get serious with the quickness. It served to snap her out of her fog. "'Tana, why are you yelling at me?"
"One, Porcelain and I don't like being ignored. Two, I sick of …" she gestured to her friend. " ..this."
Mercedes realized she was talking about her. "Me?"
"Yes, you. Look, I miss the fun 'Cedes. The girl who knows we are the two baddest bitches in this school. The girl who can take my jeers and put-downs like no other and often has a comeback sassy enough to make me shut up. You've been in a funk every since your kiss with Trouty, and I. Don't. Like. It."
Mercedes could see Kurt in her periphery, he was clearly in agreement with everything the Latina was saying. She exhaled slowly, massaging her temples to stave off the headache that was trying to set up shop.
"'Tana, Kurt, look, I told you guys how I feel-"
"Yes, yes. We know you feel horrible and have labeled yourself as this horrible cheater, Mercedes. And we've already acknowledged agreement that the timing could have been better, but we know who you are, and you are a good person." Kurt spoke vehemently, taking her hands into his and forcing her to look him in the eye.
"Look, we all know I've had a verrrryyyy loose definition of the term 'loyalty' in the past and I will never be able to apologize enough for cheating on Sam and every other guy I've ever dated. And my obvious lack of knowledge of the term was also another reason for my hesitation to be completely honest with Brittany about my feelings for her, but you told me I was more than some label and more than my past actions."
Mercedes nodded slowly as her friend reminded her of a long forgotten conversation. She reached out her free hand to her friend. "Because you are, 'Tana."
Santana took the offered hand, "So are you."
The three of them sat in Breadstix in silence as she allowed the words to wash over her. They were right, she had to forgive herself if she ever hoped to move on, whatever that meant. She just wasn't sure how to do so at the moment.
"Sometimes it takes doing the most difficult things we thought possible to truly forgive ourselves." Kurt added, seemingly answering her question.
"And once you do that, maybe you and Trouty can find your way back to each other."
"Santana." She warned.
The Latina waved her off jokingly, "Yeah,yeah. We know you're with Grimace Mc-Baby-Stache-"
"Santana!" The girl was wrong, but that shit was funny.
"Sorry, sorry. I know that's your man an' all. At least for right now…"
Mercedes shook her head at her friend, "How can you guys be so sure that Shane isn't the one, huh? What makes you think I can't love anyone besides Sam Evans?" she challenged.
Kurt gave her hand a small squeeze, "Because, dear Mercy, I remember how your whole being would light up when you talked about Sam. Sorry to say, but you don't even give off a dim light when you talk about Shane."
"True dat, and besides that, we knows the look of amor, chica."
Sam dropped off his term paper on Mrs. Longman's desk before class before begging off to visit the school nurse. Given his pale complexion at the moment, the teacher had no way of knowing that he was faking. After stopping by his locker to drop off his books, Sam entertained the idea of simply leaving for the day, clearly not feeling strong enough to sit through another glee rehearsal with Mercedes and not be able to talk to her, touch her, hold her. Just as he'd told Quinn, he may be pretty, but he ain't dumb. He knew that his presence was a constant reminder to Mercedes of her infidelity and he would rather hurt himself than cause her any pain. His mind made up, Sam decided it would be best to go home, cursing slightly when he realized he was not in possession of his keys to the Hudson-Hummel residence. He panicked briefly before realizing that he'd left them in his letterman jacket, which currently resided in his locker room locker. He shoved his hands into the front pocket of his jeans and headed for said destination, walking with his head down.
Nearing the auditorium, he could hear the faint sounds of a piano playing.
Guess Mr. Schue is planning on moving rehearsals to the auditorium today.
He felt a momentary pang of guilt knowing he would not be joining his friends later on that day for rehearsal. Deciding to be a man about the situation and notify Mr. Schue he would not be in attendance, Sam entered the auditorium and followed the short hallway which led to the stage. As he neared and the music became more clear, he realized he recognized the opening bars of the song…immediately drawn back to the first time he ever heard the song.
"You are beautiful, you know that, right?" He looked into Mercedes' big brown eyes as she lay across from him.
"Yes, Sam. You tell me every day, how could I not know?" she teased, rolling her eyes in mock exaggeration.
"That's because it's true."
The seriousness in his tone coupled with the intensity of his gaze was enough to give her pause, and she propped herself up on one elbow to look at him fully. He was beautiful, both inside and out. His heart was true and he loved her unapologetically. She would forever be grateful to him for the gift he gave and she tried her damnedest to do the same. Like today, for example. Today was a rarity for them, her parents were out of town on a day trip, Sam didn't have to work at the pizza shop, and his parents had given him the day off from babysitting his younger siblings. Currently, they were upstairs in Mercedes' bedroom, simply enjoying each other's company. In fact, before his statement about her beauty, they had spent the last thirty minutes cuddling in comfortable silence. Aside from a few sweet kisses, nothing else had taken place that day, and they were more than content. She reached out her hand to caress his cheek, sighing contently when he closed his eyes and leaned into her touch, turning his head briefly to place a chaste kiss to her palm. The act was so sweet it nearly took her breath away. He was always doing things like that, continually surprising him when she thought he couldn't get any sweeter. Tears welled in her eyes momentarily as she thanked God for giving her this man. She tried twice to speak before her voice decided to cooperate.
"Sam…" she knew what she wanted to say, what her heart demanded she give voice to. "Can I sing something to you?"
"I'd be honored if you did."
She couldn't resist reaching over to give him a kiss, moaning as he deepened it. She gave herself into the moment for a short while before placing a hand to his chest softly. He pecked at her lips twice more before breaking the kiss, putting his hands up in mock surrender, a smirk on his face.
"Behave." She playfully warned as she left the bed briefly to retrieve her laptop.
She placed the laptop on the bed between them and Sam smiled at her look of intense concentration as she scrolled through her music to find the song. Satisfied that she found what she'd been seeking, she looked at him, suddenly nervous. Sam sensed this was something serious and raised himself up, sitting Indian style on the bed. He wanted to reach out and comfort her so badly, but sensed she needed to say this first.
"I… heard this song on Beyonce's album and it…um, spoke to me. It took me a minute to find the instrumental…" Okay girl, you're rambling. "It was everything that I feel for you, Sam, and I…uh…just listen, okay?" She finished hurriedly, flashing him a small smile as he nodded. She prompted the music to start and looked into his eyes as the piano began playing.
If I ain't got nothing
I got you
If I ain't got something (I don't give a damn)
'Cause I got it with you
I don't know much about algebra (but I know)
One plus one equals two
And it's me and you
That's all we'll have when the world is through ('cause baby)
Sam wanted so badly to close his eyes and wrap himself in the feeling of her warm voice as it carried the lyrics from her lips to his heart, but he couldn't tear his gaze from her eyes. Her brown orbs were so full of emotion it nearly stole his breath away. He did nothing to fight the swell of emotion he felt, continuing to hold her gaze as tears filled his own eyes.
We ain't got nothing without love
Darling you got enough for the both of us (so come on baby)
Make love to me Make love to me (me, me, me, me) oh, oh
When my days look low
Pull me in close and don't let me go
Make love to me
So when the world's at war
That our love will heal us all (right now baby)
Make love to me
Even though the song spoke of making love, Sam heard the message she was trying to convey—that this was more than some teenage romance. His heart beat to an unsteady beat as he realized God had seen fit to bless him with this amazing woman before him and she loved him just as strongly as he loved her. He exhaled a shaky breath and felt a tear escape his lashes as she continued to love him through song. Hey, I don't know much about guns but I We ain't got nothing but love Make love to me Make love to me (me, me, me, me) oh, oh
I've been shot by you (hey)
And I don't know when I'm gonna die but I hope
That I'm gonna die by you (hey)
And I don't know much about fighting but I
I know I will fight for you (hey)
And just when I ball up my fist I realize
I'm laying right next to you baby
And darling you got enough for the both of us
When my days look low
Pull me in close and don't let me go
Make love to me
So when the world's at war
That our love will heal us all (help me let down my guard)
Make love to me (me, me, me, me)
By the song's end, tears had been shed by both and they sat watching one another in silence as the piano faded into the background. Sam was momentarily paralyzed by emotion as he played the lyrics over and over in his mind. He forced his hands to move as he carefully closed the laptop and moved it to a safe location on the bed before returning his gaze to Mercedes.
For her part, Mercedes gave herself a pat on the back for relatively keeping it together through the song and maintaining an appearance of calm as she awaited a response from Sam. Inside, her heart was beating a million miles an hour and she tried her best to breathe normally. He moved her laptop aside slowly before rising on his knees to face her, drawing her to knees on the bed, as well. She felt him reach out a thumb to brush away an errant tear, simultaneously reaching out her own hand to do the same for him. She lost track of time as they simply sat there and gazed into each other's eyes.
Sam's voice was thick with emotion as he finally broke the silence, "I love you, too, Mercedes."
She released a breath she hadn't even realized she was holding, more than willing to accept the kiss he leaned in to give her. He kissed her slowly, allowing his actions to convey all the emotions he was feeling. Her eyes closed of their own volition as he continued to make love to her mouth, trying her best to return the favor. It felt like an eternity before he broke away so that they could draw a steadying breath, his green eyes noticeably a shade darker. No further words were exchanged between the two as they allowed their bodies to express the love their hearts felt.
Sam drew in a gulp of air, reaching out to rest a steadying hand on the wall as he tried to get his emotions under control. His mind remotely registered the fact that he let loose a few tears. Mercedes' voice called to him like a siren as he stepped out into the opening, their gazes immediately locking as he came into view. He noticed she, too, had shed some tears as she continued to sing the beautiful melody.
We ain't got nothing but love Make love to me Make love to me (me, me, me, me) oh, oh
And darling you got enough for the both of us
When my days look low
Pull me in close and don't let me go
Make love to me
So when the world's at war
That our love will heal us all (help me let down my guard)
Make love to me (me, me, me, me)
Brad watched as Mercedes and Sam made their way to one another, continuing to play the last bars of the song as he watched the moment unfolding before him. He smiled at the two before making a quiet exit.
Mercedes was unsure how long they stood there before each other, the silence stretching out endlessly. Just as he'd done months before, Sam reached out a shaky hand to brush away a tear and she did the same. He closed his eyes and leaned into her touch, unconsciously closing the gap between their bodies, she stayed him with a hand to his chest.
"Sam…" he voice was a shaky whisper.
He allowed her to stop the kiss he was intended to give, cursing himself again for nearly letting his selfishness doom them again. He began to withdraw from her and she held onto the hand at her cheek.
"Sam, wait."
He stopped immediately. Hell, he'd stop the world from spinning if she wished it. He said nothing, instead content to be this close to her.
Mercedes drew in fortifying breath, never breaking eye contact with the man before her. "I…I'm sorry. I'm sorry for being angry with you for leaving. I'm sorry for not returning your calls last summer. I'm sorry for saying you were 'so June' and trying to move on with Shane-" she forged on when it looked as if he would interrupt. "I'm sorry for telling you that what we had was a fling when I know it was more than that. And I'm sorry for making you suffer while I was working this crazy mess out in my head."
He shook his head, prepared to protest and she silenced any words he would speak with a finger to his lips.
"Please. Let me finish before I lose my nerve?" She was rewarded with a look of understanding and a small nod. "I love you, Sam. I never stopped loving you, and I…was afraid to love you again. For that, I am so sorry, Sam."
Sam's heart nearly burst with joy at her declaration and he felt his love for this woman grow tenfold.
"I…Shane and I broke up three days ago. I told him everything—about our summer, how my feelings for you never changed, the kiss…God, I apologized so much for that kiss because I knew things had forever changed. He was…upset understandably, but he was also very understanding. He told me he knew he was on borrowed time—whether your returned or not, that he knew my heart was fully mine to give to him. So… that's it. That's everything." She looked at the ground as she finished speaking, unable to look him in the eyes any further.
Sam used his hand to her chin to lift her gaze. He stared into her beautiful brown orbs for several long seconds before leaning in to relieve them both of this suffering. His lips touched hers in a ghost of a kiss before he drew back to look at her, his eyes smiling. She took one look at him and returned her own whisper of a kiss across his lips.
He leaned into her once more, opting to rest his forehead against hers as he continued to state into her eyes. "I love you so much, 'Cedes….so much."
Her breath hitched in her throat at his words. "Can… can we…will you be my boyfriend—again—Sam?"
Sam withdrew far enough away to look her squarely in the eye before he leaned in to capture her lips again in a slow, steady kiss. Mercedes allowed the familiar feeling to return as he made love to her mouth with his own, her heart soaring as he answered her question over and over again…
Fin.
Whew! That's it, folks. Thanks for allowing me to get this outta my head, hope it wasn't too much of a chore to read. Remember, love, peace, and Samcedes! Feedback is love…..