Authors note - This I my first fanfic so please be kind !! I really hope you enjoy this because I enjoyed writing it ! If you have any suggestions please review because I'd like to hear them.
Disclaimer - I do not own Twilight ( however much I wish I did ).
Bella P.O.V.
My name is Isabella Marie Swan and I am a vampire. But this endless life is not the happily ever after that I dreamed of, because I can't share it with Him.
After He left I spent months alone, I couldn't talk to anyone, not Angela, Charlie or Renee even. No one could understand how I was feeling, the unbearable pain………Even now when nothing can physically hurt me, I think about him and the pain returns leaving me feeling unbelievably fragile, as if a single gust of wind could knock me over and I might never get up, though I can't die. I was holding myself together, using my hands to crudely patch together the hole in my chest. But I could never manage it, I was a living zombie with an acidic hole burning through my chest. Slowly killing me.
All my material memories of him were taken, the C.D, my pictures, the photos of us at the prom he forced me to go to………………
He took my treasures, the only proof I had that they existed, that He existed. But though he took them away he can't erase my memories of him, just like the spaces in that old photo album that Renee gave me for my 18th birthday, the photos are gone but the captions remain, "Edward Cullen in Charlie's kitchen."
I have to try to stop thinking about him, he doesn't love me. I have to stop remembering, I can feel the hole opening up again……
Scared to remember, terrified to forget and I can't even sleep to escape this living hell. All I want to do is be with him again, to see his face, to look into his smouldering topaz eyes, to see him grin his crooked smile, to feel his hard, cold lips moving softly against mine, to hear him say he loves me - just one more time.
It hurts so much to remember him, but the thought of forgetting him is unbearable. But now I have to let go, to move on as he wanted me to. That's why we moved to Forks, so I could try to gain closure and move on, I just hope I can do it, I know that it hurts Mom, Jen and Lucy to see me like this. Catatonic. I have to try to let him go, for them.