Here y'all are. :D
Inspiration for this came from a post from someone over on Tumblr... it was a picture showing Jack's back during the scene where Ianto's dying and there was a caption of 'you always remember the ones you kill, don't you Jack?' and well that inspired me to write this. Enjoy. :D
He told you that you would forget him but you know that's a horrible lie, you know that if you could, you'd probably just down a whole shipment of retcon so you could forget ever laying eyes on him because this is going to hurt, so much. But he says you won't remember him, you know it's a horrific lie, a lie so terrifying you wish it were reality.
He doesn't know, no, he can't know, that you remember everyone you kill. And you've killed him. You may not have shot him or injected him with poison but you led him here, you led him by the hand to his death and you signed his death warrant with your idiocy, you forget sometimes that not everyone is immortal; you forget that you have other people with you sometimes and that's how this happened. You forgot that he could die, you forgot because in your eyes, he's invincible, he's incredible, he's immortal, just like you but he's not. And here he is, dying in your arms, saying you'll forget him but you won't. You can't ever forget him, you never forget the people you have killed. And you've killed him.
He's crying in your arms, he's dying in your arms and no matter how much you try to tell yourself otherwise, you know that he will never wake from this nightmare. You try to tell yourself that when he's gone you won't feel cheated, empty, depressed, broken, destroyed but you know otherwise, you've gone through more than enough relationships and lives to know that now, with him, won't be any different, you'll still wake up screaming in the middle of the night, begging death to bring him back. You'll still freeze up in the middle of conversation and your eyes will still go distant and you'll be locked in memories of him. You'll still cry yourself to sleep at night, his name the last thing from your lips before sleep takes hold.
You seal his death with a kiss, it steals away the life you two had together, steals away the future that had been almost within your grasp, steals away the soul of the man you fell so utterly in love with. You stole his heart with your smile, your touch, your coat, your personality, you stole his life with your kiss, your touch, your stupidity, your inability to remember that just because someone was put up on a pedestal in your eyes, doesn't mean the world will raise them higher too. You stole his life with a smile and sealed his death with a kiss.
"A thousand years time? You won't remember me."
You will, you know you will because you killed him and you never forget the people you kill.