The Brady Bunch Hour is Such a Pain
A/N—Some of us Brady Bunch fans have wondered WHY the Brady Bunch Hour ever existed, and why Fake Jan? Here's my take on the rationale:
Jan is a senior at Westdale High School. Greg, Marcia and Peter are in college, but are home on break. Bobby's a freshman in high school and Cindy's in the eighth grade. Jan has the attic bedroom. This takes place in the spring semester of 1977. Long dream sequences and Jan's thoughts are typed in italics for ease of reading. Enjoy!
Jan Brady slowly walks into the kitchen after school. Her eyes are nearly closed and her face is twisted into a mask of pain. Her head began pounding when she woke up this morning. She remembered her mother asking her if she was feeling okay and brushing her off. By the time the last period of the day began, she thought her head was going to explode because it hurt so badly.
Carol and Alice are cooking pot roast for dinner. Carol notices her middle daughter is holding her head with her hands. "What's wrong, sweetie?" Carol wipes some sweat off Jan's cheeks.
Jan winces as she tries to look at her mother. "My head is killing me. It feels like it's going to explode." Tears begin streaming down her face.
"Why don't you go up to bed? Dinner's not for a couple hours…." Jan sways and nearly drops to the floor. Her head hits her mother's chest. Suddenly, visions of sequined jumpsuits dance through her head. Eight shadowy figures, clad in orange and gold, begin singing "Baby Face."
Carol catches her as Alice grabs her books. "Jan! Jan! Wake up, honey."
She awakens with a jolt, a bit disoriented. "Wha?" Jan's stomach lurches. She runs to the bathroom attached to the laundry room, trying to keep the bile inside until she reaches the toilet.
Carol rushes into the bathroom and holds Jan's hair back so it wouldn't get in the way. Alice remains in the kitchen and fixes a seltzer water. After Jan finishes retching, Carol helps her stand up. "C'mon baby, I'll help you to your room." Jan nods and Carol helps her stand up. Jan sways a bit as the room spins. Somehow the room looks unfamiliar, more like a beach house. It looks rather unfamiliar. Then everything goes black.
"Alice!" Carol calls as she tries to hold her daughter up, but she slides to the floor. Carol lays her daughter on the bathmat and cradles her head on her lap.
Alice rushes into the bathroom. "Yes, Mrs. Brady?"
"Can you go get Mike? He's in the den, I think." Carol accepts a dampened washcloth from the housekeeper.
Alice makes her way to the den and knocks on the door.
"Come in!" Mike is at his drafting table, working on some sketches.
"Mrs. Brady needs you. Jan's sick. They're in the laundry room…."
Mike rushes past her before she could complete her thought. He runs to the bathroom, stops at the doorframe, and sees Jan lying on her mother's lap. "What happened?" he asks, kneeling over his daughter.
"She said her head hurt, nearly fainted a couple times, and ran in here. She threw up a few times. I tried to help her up, but she's too weak to stand." She strokes her daughter's hair. "Can you help me get her to bed?"
Mike goes over to the pair and lifts his daughter off her mother's lap. He cradles her closely as Carol stands up. They make their way to Jan's bedroom. Jan's eyes flutter open. "Daddy?"
"Yes, Jan?"
"My head hurts." She winces. "Hurts to talk." Tears stream down her cheeks.
"I know. Shhhh," Mike replies, "Let's get you to bed so you can get some rest."
"Mmmm hmmm." She closes her eyes. She's now wearing a yellow sequined vest and skirt and holding a matching hat. It seems they're singing "One." However, she doesn't recognize herself. "Why don't I look like myself?" she thinks to herself, "That's me, but that's not me. I don't look like that and I'm NOT that perky."
The trio enters the bedroom. Carol turns down the covers on Jan's bed and Mike lays their daughter on the bed. Carol tucks her in and strokes her face. "Mom?"
"Yes baby?" Carol sits on the bed.
"I think I'm gonna throw up." She darts out of bed, knocking her mother out of the way, and runs unsteadily down the stairs to the bathroom. Mike and Carol follow behind.
Alice enters the bedroom and sets a glass of seltzer water on the nightstand. She hears retching and peeks through the door. She sees Carol holding her daughter as she retches into the toilet. Mike sits nearby. "I've set a glass of seltzer water on the nightstand."
Mike catches her gaze. "Thanks, Alice." She turns to go. "And can you tell the rest of the kids not to make too much noise if they come upstairs?"
Before she can reply, Cindy enters her bedroom. She hears the retching and conversation and a look of concern spreads across her face. She peeks through the pocket door and spots Carol cradling Jan. "Is Jan okay?"
Alice blocks her view into the bathroom. "No honey, she's sick. Could you go back downstairs? I'll fill you in in a few." Cindy turns to leave and Alice continues, "Oh, and could you tell the others to hold the noise down if they come upstairs?"
"Sure." She sets her books on the desk, goes downstairs, and grabs an orange from the refrigerator. Alice comes in the kitchen shortly thereafter. "What's going on with Jan?"
"Jan's sick." Alice fixes two glasses of soda and the pair sits at the table.
"What's she got?" Cindy takes a sip of her drink.
"Well, she says she's got a headache and she's thrown up a few times. It's probably a bad migraine."
"Ugh! Poor thing. That's awful!"
Meanwhile, back upstairs:
Jan finishes retching and leans back on her mother's chest. "Are you ready to go back to bed?"
She closes her eyes and nods, "Mmmm hmm."
"C'mon honey." Carol sits her daughter up and Mike scoops her into his arms. They make their way back to the bedroom. Again, Mike lays her in her bed and Carol tucks the covers. She reaches for the glass of seltzer. "Why don't you take a couple sips?" Jan wraps her hands around the glass and begins to drink. "Take it slowly. Just take small sips." Jan hands the glass to her mother. "You through?" Jan nods. "Why don't you lie back down?" Jan complies and Carol feels her forehead. "You're burning up. Mike, could you get the thermometer?" Mike quickly returns and hands the thermometer to his wife. She places the instrument under Jan's tongue. After a couple minutes, she takes it out and reads the results. "101." She puts a damp cloth on Jan's forehead.
"No. Too heavy," Jan mumbles.
"You don't want it?" Jan shakes her head.
Mike touches his wife's shoulder. "Why don't we let her rest?"
Carol nods and gets up. She fixes the comforter; "I'll come and check on you in a bit."
Jan doesn't hear her mother. She falls asleep immediately. Now, they're dressed in black and white checkered shirts and yellow skirts or slacks. Music begins to play:
Give 'em the old razzle dazzle
Razzle Dazzle 'em
Give 'em an act with lots of flash in it
And the reaction will be passionate
Give 'em the old hocus pocus
Bead and feather 'em
How can they see with sequins in their eyes?
What if your hinges all are rusting?
What if, in fact, you're just disgusting?
Razzle dazzle 'em
And they'll never catch wise!
The scene dissolves into "Your Song." Jan is dressed in a white gown and is singing a solo. Marcia, Bobby and Cindy smother Jan with hugs and kisses immediately following.
"Wait a minute. I don't sing. Marcia does. I've always wanted to sing, but I don't like my voice so much. So, this is nice! Please don't let this be a dream!"
The scene fades out and is replaced with a beach house. It's not the same house as before, but it's still unfamiliar.
Carol rehearses singing while the kids rehearse a dance number. Mike comes home. They discuss their various talents. Merrill shows up singing.
"Who is Merrill? I don't know any Merrill!" Jan's bothered by not knowing who Merrill is, but the scene continues.
Carol tells Merrill to butt out. Mike says he hired Merrill to help him with his singing. No one in the family will help Mike, so he walks out of the house.
Mike is on the soundstage practicing guitar. Charo enters and complains about being misunderstood by English speakers. Mike shows her his guitar work. She thinks it's a joke. She offers to help. They try "I've Grown Accustomed to Her Face." Carol and Mr. Merrill peek around a piece of scenery and spy Charo with her arms around Mike, Carol is very upset and jealous.
Later on that night, Charo comes over for dinner: Carol and Alice are resentful of Charo's involvement. The kids are surprised to learn Mike's fraternizing with Charo.
"Dad, with Charo? No way! Dad wouldn't do that to mom!"
Charo and Mike show up. Dinner is particularly uncomfortable. Carol tells Charo she's not a jealous wife, but threatens mayhem anyhow. Mike says they'd better cancel their duet. Mike and Carol discuss the situation. Mike then sings, "I've Grown Accustomed to Her Face."
Jan tosses and turns in bed. Carol comes in to check on her daughter and notices that she's tossing and turning. "Jan," she tries to wake her daughter, "wake up, baby." Jan opens her eyes. "How are you feeling?"
"My head still hurts." She sits up and holds her head. The room begins to spin.
"Lie back down." Carol helps her back down. "Do you need an aspirin?" Jan shakes her head. "How 'bout a couple sips." Jan nods. Carol places a straw in the glass and holds it to her daughter's lips. Jan takes a sip. "Better?" Jan nods. "Do you need anything?" Jan shakes her head. Carol gets up and leaves the room. "Okay. I'll check on you in a few minutes." Jan doesn't hear her mother; she is back asleep.
The family is dressed like scarecrows and sings "Consider Yourself." Jan, Bobby, and Cindy move in front as the curtain closes to do a sketch introducing Edgar Bergen. Jan and Cindy can't pronounce "ventriloquist". Bergen teaches the kids how to say things without moving their lips. Bergen then uses Bobby as a dummy. Finally, Bergen does a sketch with Mortimer Snerd.
"Okay, THAT was weird!"
Meanwhile, the family sits down for dinner.
Carol answers, "No, she's sick."
"What's wrong?" Marcia asks, concerned.
"She's probably got a bad stomach bug or migraine, so when you're upstairs, please keep the noise down to a low rumble." Carol passes the potatoes to Cindy.
Marcia continues, "Should I sleep in Cindy's room tonight?"
"That wouldn't be a bad idea," Mike replies, cutting a piece of roast.
"So, what happened?" Greg asks.
"She came home from school and said she had a severe headache," Carol answers, "then she threw up and fainted a few times. Her fever's around 101."e
Marcia frowns, "Ugh!"
Peter adds, "She didn't look so good at breakfast." He takes a bite of green beans.
Carol looks over at Bobby and notices he's not eating. Instead, he's lazily pushing his food around his plate. "You've hardly touched your dinner. You're not getting sick, are you?" She reaches over and places a hand on his forehead.
"Mom!" Bobby leans away, "I feel fine. I'm just not hungry."
"Are you sure?" Carol is unconvinced.
"Yeah. Me and the guys stopped by the pizza place after school."
"No doubt to get a good look at Millicent," Cindy teases. "Bobby and Millicent, sittin' in a tree…."
"Cut that out," Bobby replies, annoyed.
"Okay guys," Mike begins, "that's enough. Finish your dinner."
Back upstairs, Jan rolls over in bed.
Cindy and Bobby are coming home from roller skating, Cindy is furious with Bobby for screwing up her date with a boy at school and when Bobby says "It was nothing!" Cindy yells "YOU'RE NOTHING!" Bobby thinks the guy is a creep. Cindy calls Bobby a "dumbo" for ruining things. Mike explains to Bobby that Cindy is upset because she's turning into a woman. Carol reflects that yesterday she was explaining to Cindy the bumps in her Barbie doll. Alice comes home and avoids saying where she's been, Merrill rings the doorbell because Alice forgot her purse. Peter, Mike, and Carol suspect some kind of romance is going on, although Alice denies it. Greg and Jan then return. Jan is angry because she doesn't have a boyfriend and Greg has to drive her home. Marcia arrives and introduces someone, a 70's pothead by the name of Winston Beaumont, and announces they are engaged to be married.
"No she's not! She's going with Tyson! They just started dating."
Mike and Carol converse with Marcia and Winston about their plans to get married. Mike asks if they can talk with Marcia alone and Winston leaves for the evening. Mike and Carol forbid Marcia to marry Winston, Marcia becomes defiant and asserts that "I'll marry him whether you like it or not!"
The next morning, Mike and Carol are eating breakfast. Alice says Winston can't be that bad and suggests they give him a second look, Carol then makes some suggestive comments about Alice and Merrill. Merrill barges in and professes his love for Alice in a melodramatic manner, Alice insists there is nothing between the two of them.
"Not Merrill! She's engaged to Sam! She'd never do that to him!"
Merrill is humiliated and rushes out. Alice notes what if that were Marcia rushing out so upset, Mike and Carol then agree to give Winston a second chance. Merrill pokes his head through the kitchen window and asks if it worked. Mike and Carol then realize that Alice and Merrill have been putting on an act that will convince them to reconsider Marcia's engagement.
Meanwhile, Winston is out on the beach with Peter. Marcia is looking for him in the house. The other Brady kids profess their dislike for Winston. Peter and Winston return, Winston has been telling Peter all sorts of things about baseball and he is very impressed. Marcia suspects that something strange is going on and asks Winston to talk with her out on the patio. Marcia confronts Winston with how he has been contradicting himself and calls him a fake. She notes that everyone who talks to him is right about everything. Winston admits that he says and does whatever is necessary for people to like him. Marcia gently calls off the engagement and asks him to call her when he figures out who he is.
"Whew! That was close! I don't think Marcia would be that stupid. Well, mmm, her taste in men is sometimes lacking. Harvey Klinger? What was that?!"
Mike and Carol are getting ready for bed. It's 10 in the evening.
Carol draws back. "I'm going to check on Jan." She exits the room, heads to the attic, and hears Jan moaning. She tiptoes up the stairs to her daughter's bedside. Jan's covers are tossed back and she is covered in sweat. She continues to moan as her face contorts in pain. Carol places her hand on Jan's forehead and notices she is hot to the touch and covered in sweat. Her covers are soaked. Carol puts her hand on Jan's shoulder and gently shakes her awake. "Jan, you're burning up. Wake up, baby." Jan does not awaken. Carol tries a couple more times to wake her daughter, with no success.
Carol then races out of the attic to the master bedroom. "Mike!" Carol calls frantically.
Mike sits up in bed. His eyes widen. "What's wrong, Carol?"
"Mike," she cries, "she won't wake up. She's burning up and she won't wake up!" Tears flow down her face.
The couple dashes back to Jan's room. Mike sees his daughter, pale and drenched with sweat. "I'll get Jan. Go ahead and draw a bath." Carol complies and Mike carries Jan to the bathroom. Carol gets in the tub and Mike places Jan in with her mother with Jan's head resting on her mother's shoulder. "I'm going to go call Doctor Porter and ask Greg if he would let her in." Carol nods as her husband leaves.
Mike enters the family room. Greg is sleeping on one of the couches. "Greg," Mike shakes his son awake.
Greg sits up. "Wha, What's going on?"
"I've called Doctor Porter. Would you let her in when she gets here?"
"How is she?"
"She's got a high fever. We've put her in a bath to try and get it down."
Greg makes a bed on the living room couch while Mike heads upstairs.
Carol is still in the tub, cradling Jan, calling her name. She looks up and sees Mike. "She's still burning up. She won't wake up." Tears are streaming down her face.
"I called the doctor. She's on her way. Greg's waiting up for her."
Jan continues in her slumber. The stage is lit up. She is dressed in a pink sequined jumpsuit. Carol's is black with a white stripe down the middle. Marcia's is red and Cindy's yellow. Mike is clad in a white suit. Greg has on a red suit without a jacket. Peter's is orange and Bobby's yellow. The boys' vests were black with red or orange or yellow and white sequins.
The family seems to be preparing for a finale. Carol tells Mike that the kids are saving their energy for the Finale about "Disco Songs" so it is up to the two of them to make the introduction. Mike says they do not have more energy than the kids, Carol replies that since they have six children the kids must think they're bionic. "Bionic? Where did that come from?" Jan begins the finale by singing "Turn the Beat Around."
After they finish the finale, Carol says there is a man holding a card up saying that it is the end of another show. Peter asks why he gets pushed in the pool every week, Greg says because the man holding up the cue cards says to do it. Marcia warns them that the man is holding up another card. Jan notes that it says "Thank the chests??" (idiot) Mike says it is "Thank the guests". Bobby says to thank John Stearwald for holding up the cards.
The next thing Jan knew, someone was washing her face. "Jan! Jan! Wake up!" She hears someone calling, but she can't place the voice. It's female, but it doesn't sound like her mother. Her eyes flutter open. She notices she's in the bathtub, lying against her mother's chest. Her dad is next to the tub, and Doctor Porter is the one washing her face.
Doctor Porter continues washing Jan down. "How are you feeling?"
Jan winces and closes her eyes. "My head's pounding. How did I get here?"
"You gave your parents quite a scare." Jan tries to open her eyes, but the light is blinding. The doctor turns to Mike, "Mike, turn down the lights a bit." He complies and Jan opens her eyes. Doctor Porter continues, "You had a high fever, nearly 103. Your mom couldn't wake you, so they brought you down here and called me. You still have a high fever, but it's coming down."
"I'm c-c-c-cold." Jan begins shivering. "Want out."
"Okay. I think you've been in there long enough."
Mike stands back up. "I'll go get some towels and pajamas for you both. Be back soon." He kisses Carol on the lips, strokes Jan's head, and leaves the room as Doctor Porter pulls the stopper. First, he heads to the master bedroom and finds Carol's pink nightgown and robe. He drapes them over his shoulder while he goes to the attic. He locates her canary yellow pajama set and drapes them as well. He picks out two fluffy pink towels from the walk-in closet and returns to the bathroom.
Someone knocks on the girls' pocket door. Mike opens the door to reveal Cindy. He blocks her view. "Go use our bathroom."
"Is she okay?" She cranes her neck to get a better view.
"Later, Cindy. Go on and use our bathroom. We can discuss it later. Goodnight." Cindy leaves and he shuts the door. He and the doctor assist Jan then Carol out of the tub. "I'll step out while you get Jan dressed." He shuts the door behind him.
Peter exits Bobby's bedroom and spots his father. "How's Jan?"
"She's still got a headache and a fever." They hear retching through the door.
"Guess she's still pretty sick."
"Yeah." He knocks on the bathroom door while Peter heads downstairs. He hears Carol tell him to come back in. Both she and Jan are dressed. Carol is again, cradling her daughter by the toilet. "What's wrong with her?"
"She's got a severe migraine," the doctor answered. "We need to get this fever down. Let's get her back to her room. Carol, get some washcloths and towels and fill a mixing bowl of cool, not cold water. We'll take shifts washing her down." Mike carries his daughter back to her room; Doctor Porter follows as Carol grabs the necessary supplies and joins the trio.
The doctor notes the time on Jan's clock. It's two in the morning. "Who wants to take the first shift?"
"I will," Mike announces.
Carol cuts him off. "No, I will."
"Carol," Mike begins, putting his hands on her upper arms, "you're tired. You need your sleep. Go get a couple hours and then come back around four."
"I'm NOT leaving my daughter." Carol glares at her husband. "I'm her mother."
"I'm not going to argue with you. Go get some sleep and we'll wake you when it's your turn." Carol started to protest, but Mike pulled up a chair by her daughter's bedside. Carol kissed her on the forehead and gave Mike a quick peck on the lips before returning to their bedroom. She sat on the bed, stretched her arms and yawned. Before she knew it, sleep overtook her.
Mike and Doctor Porter began placing cool, damp cloths on her limbs and chest. "Keep washing her face and I'll be back. I'm going to call in a prescription for her." Mike nods and continues his task. The doctor leaves the room.
Jan opens and closes her eyes and drifts back to sleep.
The scene changes again. They're singing a medley of songs about music. It begins with "Music Music Music" sung by Mike & Carol. Next, Marcia sings, "What Have They Done to My Song, Ma". Carol is next with "The Sweetest Sounds". Greg then sings "Music Is My Life".
"Hmmm, that's appropriate. He keeps telling everyone, 'Music is my life.' Is he still a music major or has he gone pre-med?"
Jan now sings "Hey Mr. Melody".
"Wow! I sound great!"
Meanwhile, it is six in the morning.
"100."
Mike breathes a sigh of relief. "I'm going to get Carol. She'll probably kill me because I didn't get her at four. She needed her sleep."
"Someone else did too."
Mike blushes and goes to wake up Carol. He gently shakes her shoulder. "Carol? Carol?"
Carol stirs and opens her eyes. "What time is it?"
"Six o'clock."
She quickly sits up. "You were supposed to get me up at four."
"You needed your sleep."
She gets up and pulls on her robe. "Never mind. How is she?"
"Her fever's down to 100."
Carol breathes a sigh of relief. "Get some sleep." They give each other a quick peck. She heads back to her daughter's room as Mike settles in bed and falls asleep. Carol sees that her daughter is still asleep and Doctor Porter is by the bedside. "How's she doing?" She takes the other seat by the bedside.
"She seems to be doing better. Her fever's still going down. It's 99.9 now. She doesn't seem to be in much pain and looks like she's resting comfortably."
Carol breathes a sigh of relief and begins washing her daughter's face. Jan slumbers on.
The scene continues. Next on the list is Alice and Merrill ("WHO IS MERRILL?!") with "The Music Goes Round and Round".. "An Old Fashioned Love Song" is one of Jan's favourites and is delighted when Paul Williams is singing it. The Brady Kids then sing "Piano Man". The finale concludes with everyone singing "I Believe in Music".
The Bradys say goodnight. Carol imitates Porky Pig and says "D-D-D-D-D That's All Folks!"
Jan laughs, "Mom never could do Porky Pig right."
The Bradys sing "United We Stand" and then leave the stage.
The scene dissolves as Jan begins to awaken. Her eyes flutter open. She realizes she's in her attic bedroom, not a beach house. She looks around her room and sees her mother in a chair to the left of her and Doctor Porter to the right. "Mom?"
Carol leans toward the bed. "Yes baby? How are you feeling?"
"My head hurts."
"I know it does."
"Let me take your temperature." The doctor checks her temperature, fixes Jan's medicine and hands it to Jan. "Take this. It'll help your headache." She looks at the thermometer. "98.6. She's normal." Carol breathes a sigh of relief. Jan takes the medication. Doctor Porter stands up. "I'll see if Mike's awake."
Just then, Mike climbs the stairs. "How is she?"
"Daddy?"
Mike walks over to her bedside. "Yes? How are you feeling?" He kisses her on the forehead and gives his wife a peck on the lips. He then sits at the foot of her bed.
"I had the strangest dream."
Carol strokes Jan's hair. "What was it?"
"Well," Jan begins, "we'd moved to the beach to be on a variety show. It was strange. There were lots of sequins and dancing and singing. We were all there, but even though it was me, it didn't look like me."
"Oh, how so?" Carol asks.
"I can't explain, but I just didn't look like myself. And Alice was dating this guy named Merrill. Do we even know a guy named Merrill? And Marcia became engaged to this drip who is incredibly fake. And Charo was making the moves on dad." Mike blushes while Carol tries not to laugh. Jan continues, "It was just so strange."
Doctor Porter stands up. "It's not uncommon for people with a severe migraine to have strange dreams. I'm going to go. Continue to give her this as needed." She pulls out a bottle of medication from her bag. "If she doesn't improve or if she gets worse, bring her by or take her to the Emergency Room."
Mike stands up. "I'll walk you out."
Carol stands up and shakes her hand. "Thank you."
"My pleasure. I'm glad I could help. And Jan, feel better."
"Thank you." Jan smiles.
Mike walks Doctor Porter out and then heads to the kitchen. Alice and the other kids are eating breakfast. Alice inquires about Jan's health. "How is she?"
"Her fever finally broke. Carol and I, along with Doctor Porter, took turns, washing her down with cool cloths to get it down."
Everyone breathes a sigh of relief. Alice continues, "How's Mrs. Brady holding up?"
"She's a trooper. She's by her side right now."
"Would you like me to fix her a tray?"
"Thanks, Alice."
She gets a tray together and Mike brings it up to Carol. "Alice sent up breakfast. I'm going to work at home today. I'll call Mr. Phillips and let him know what's going on."
"Thanks." Carol takes the tray as Mike exits the room. She offers some to Jan. "Do you feel like eating? Perhaps some toast?"
"I guess so." She takes some toast and spreads a thin film of butter and jelly.
"Did you eat anything at school yesterday?"
"No. My head hurt too much."
"When did your headache start? I noticed yesterday at breakfast that you didn't look like you felt well then."
"I didn't."
"Why didn't you say something?" Carol asked, concerned.
"I thought if I took a couple aspirin it would take care of it."
"I'm not trying to play twenty questions, but I'm just concerned. Have you had bad headaches before?"
"I know, but no, I haven't."
"Well, perhaps the medicine Doctor Porter gave you will help. If you get another headache, please tell me or your father. It may be nothing, but it could be serious."
"Okay. I will. I'm sorry." Jan's face falls.
"You don't have to apologize." Carol stroked her daughter's hair. "I just want you to be okay." Jan nodded. "Why don't you lie down and get some sleep. I'm going to bed myself and I'll come and check on you in a little while."
"Okay," Jan mumbles, halfway asleep. Carol tucks her covers and gives her daughter a kiss on the cheek. Jan fades into a dreamless sleep.
--END--