1 ZIM Goes to the "Maul"
By Lenore (the one that's lost)
Disclaimer: I do not own Jhonen Vasquez (awwwww…), Nickelodian (double awwwww…), or any of those other people (triple awwwwww…). If I owned Nickelodian, I would make Herb Scannel dance the Funky Chicken for eternity.
Disclaimer to my last Disclaimer: I still don't own any of those people or networks… I just own a cardboard box and this computer. I get electricity and AOL from my neighbors. Although making Herb Scannel dance would be funny, I still don't own him. Darn.
Disclaimer to my last Disclaimer: I actually live in a house with electricity and AOL. I still don't own Herb Scannel.
Anyway, I still don't own Herb Scannel. Onto the fic!
( Keef is passing out invitations for his "Birthday Party", in the cafeteria. Zim walks by, trying to go unnoticed with his pile of slop. Today's item is potatoes and pickle relish. Keef spots Zim, and runs towards him with twinkling eyes. Zim runs, someone trips him, he lands in his 'food', and is left a smoking heap of green Irken on the cafeteria floor. Keef kneels down to him.)
Keef: Hey Zim! Sunday is my birthday party! Wanna come?
Zim: I thought you went down with my squirrel of hideous DOOM! What happened? Where did the squirrel go wrong?
Keef: Soooo… do you wanna come?
Zim: NEVER! Zim needs no 'parties'!
Keef: Soooo… do you wanna come?
(Dib walks towards Zim and Keef.)
Keef to Dib: Hey! Do you wanna come to my birthday party?
Dib: Of course I do. It's what any NORMAL human would do.
Keef: (hands Dib an invitation) Great! See ya there! (turns to Zim) Soooo… do you wanna come? (hands invitation to Zim)
Zim: (swipes invitation out of Keef's hand) Of course I do!
Keef: Good! I knew you would come! Oh, this'll be my best birthday ever!
Zim: Yessss, so great, because you will have the prescence of ZIM!
(Keef trots off like a happy little maggot. Zim stands up and wipes himself off. Dib approaches Zim.)
Dib: I bet you don't even know what birthdays are!
Zim: Of course I do!
Dib: Fine. What are birthdays?
(a popular girl hears Dib ask what birthdays are. She mutters to her little scary prep friends, then turns to Dib.)
Popular girl: Dib doesn't know what birthdays are!
(Everyone laughs, even Zim.)
PG's friend: For such a big head, he sure doesn't know much.
Dib: My… head… isn't… BIG! (A wave of destruction ripples through the cafeteria. Lunch boxes explode, children's heads catch on fire, tables turn into large pieces of cheese, and the windows shatter. Everyone falls silent.)
Zim: Oookay… (marches off towards the door. Everyone starts talking and eating again, despite the differences.)
~~ After Skool in Zim's lab~~
Zim: Computer!
Computer: What now?
Zim: Give off information on 'Human Birthday Parties'!
Computer: Limited data.
Zim: No! That can't be! Make some stuff up… make it longer.
Computer: Okay. Well, let's see… birthday parties are when humans celebrate the day they were born.
Zim: Of course! I knew that!
Computer: Why don't you ever let me finish? Anyway, they celebrate the day they were born with activities such as moose riding (shows a picture of a kid getting bucked off a moose), snacks (picture of a mongoose), and muffins (picture of a muffin). The 'birthday slime' gets presents from the hostages they invited. (Kid opening a package wrapped in newspaper).
Zim: I see. Where do I access these so called 'presents'?
Computer: At the maul.
Zim: The… the maul? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Sounds painful.
Computer: Yes. The maul is where humans get clothes.
Zim: Oh. Is that all? Computer!
Computer: I've already raised the Voots…
Zim: But… I wanted to say 'Raise the Voots!'. Can I say it anyway?
Computer: No.
Zim: Why not?
Computer: Why should you?
Zim: I dunno.
Computer: Shouldn't you leave now?
Zim: Yes! I should, shouldn't I? GIR!
(GIR uses his jetpacks to get to the lab. He flys a little too high and crashes into the computer screen.)
Computer: Owww…
Zim: GIR, it's time we go to (AN: Dun, dun, duh!) the maul!
GIR: Yay! Do they have coffee?
AN: What will happen? Will GIR get his coffee? Will Zim be lacerated in the 'maul'? Will the computer get it's screen fixed? Only I know, and you'll have to wait until chapter 2 to find out!
If you would like to get a Golden Toaster Award, review this or my other stories by June 8th. Then look for your name (anonymous or signed) in chapter two's Golden Toaster Awards!
By Lenore (the one that's lost)
Disclaimer: I do not own Jhonen Vasquez (awwwww…), Nickelodian (double awwwww…), or any of those other people (triple awwwwww…). If I owned Nickelodian, I would make Herb Scannel dance the Funky Chicken for eternity.
Disclaimer to my last Disclaimer: I still don't own any of those people or networks… I just own a cardboard box and this computer. I get electricity and AOL from my neighbors. Although making Herb Scannel dance would be funny, I still don't own him. Darn.
Disclaimer to my last Disclaimer: I actually live in a house with electricity and AOL. I still don't own Herb Scannel.
Anyway, I still don't own Herb Scannel. Onto the fic!
( Keef is passing out invitations for his "Birthday Party", in the cafeteria. Zim walks by, trying to go unnoticed with his pile of slop. Today's item is potatoes and pickle relish. Keef spots Zim, and runs towards him with twinkling eyes. Zim runs, someone trips him, he lands in his 'food', and is left a smoking heap of green Irken on the cafeteria floor. Keef kneels down to him.)
Keef: Hey Zim! Sunday is my birthday party! Wanna come?
Zim: I thought you went down with my squirrel of hideous DOOM! What happened? Where did the squirrel go wrong?
Keef: Soooo… do you wanna come?
Zim: NEVER! Zim needs no 'parties'!
Keef: Soooo… do you wanna come?
(Dib walks towards Zim and Keef.)
Keef to Dib: Hey! Do you wanna come to my birthday party?
Dib: Of course I do. It's what any NORMAL human would do.
Keef: (hands Dib an invitation) Great! See ya there! (turns to Zim) Soooo… do you wanna come? (hands invitation to Zim)
Zim: (swipes invitation out of Keef's hand) Of course I do!
Keef: Good! I knew you would come! Oh, this'll be my best birthday ever!
Zim: Yessss, so great, because you will have the prescence of ZIM!
(Keef trots off like a happy little maggot. Zim stands up and wipes himself off. Dib approaches Zim.)
Dib: I bet you don't even know what birthdays are!
Zim: Of course I do!
Dib: Fine. What are birthdays?
(a popular girl hears Dib ask what birthdays are. She mutters to her little scary prep friends, then turns to Dib.)
Popular girl: Dib doesn't know what birthdays are!
(Everyone laughs, even Zim.)
PG's friend: For such a big head, he sure doesn't know much.
Dib: My… head… isn't… BIG! (A wave of destruction ripples through the cafeteria. Lunch boxes explode, children's heads catch on fire, tables turn into large pieces of cheese, and the windows shatter. Everyone falls silent.)
Zim: Oookay… (marches off towards the door. Everyone starts talking and eating again, despite the differences.)
~~ After Skool in Zim's lab~~
Zim: Computer!
Computer: What now?
Zim: Give off information on 'Human Birthday Parties'!
Computer: Limited data.
Zim: No! That can't be! Make some stuff up… make it longer.
Computer: Okay. Well, let's see… birthday parties are when humans celebrate the day they were born.
Zim: Of course! I knew that!
Computer: Why don't you ever let me finish? Anyway, they celebrate the day they were born with activities such as moose riding (shows a picture of a kid getting bucked off a moose), snacks (picture of a mongoose), and muffins (picture of a muffin). The 'birthday slime' gets presents from the hostages they invited. (Kid opening a package wrapped in newspaper).
Zim: I see. Where do I access these so called 'presents'?
Computer: At the maul.
Zim: The… the maul? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Sounds painful.
Computer: Yes. The maul is where humans get clothes.
Zim: Oh. Is that all? Computer!
Computer: I've already raised the Voots…
Zim: But… I wanted to say 'Raise the Voots!'. Can I say it anyway?
Computer: No.
Zim: Why not?
Computer: Why should you?
Zim: I dunno.
Computer: Shouldn't you leave now?
Zim: Yes! I should, shouldn't I? GIR!
(GIR uses his jetpacks to get to the lab. He flys a little too high and crashes into the computer screen.)
Computer: Owww…
Zim: GIR, it's time we go to (AN: Dun, dun, duh!) the maul!
GIR: Yay! Do they have coffee?
AN: What will happen? Will GIR get his coffee? Will Zim be lacerated in the 'maul'? Will the computer get it's screen fixed? Only I know, and you'll have to wait until chapter 2 to find out!
If you would like to get a Golden Toaster Award, review this or my other stories by June 8th. Then look for your name (anonymous or signed) in chapter two's Golden Toaster Awards!