A Pork Trooper's Fandom, an earthbound fanfic

Soooo I sorta got inspired by battling the Pork Trooper (In Japanese, the Scary Womanizing pigmask). So enjoy.

Stick around for an alternate story.

Also, Mother 3 Does not belong to me. Ha! That rhymes.

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Kumatora spat out blood. Ugh, she hated the taste of blood, especially mixed in with stomach acid. That blow the scary womanizing Pigmask gave to her stomach really dealt some damage there. She wasn't sure she could get up. She cursed to herself as she forgotten how all their DCMC stuff were burned because of a mishap with her powers.

Kumatora grabbed the edge of a counter and forced herself to get up, her ribs punishing her for putting so much strain on them. She then took a moment to size up the situation: Lucas was doing pretty well, but the shield he put up was weakening and would soon break. Duster, on the other hand, looked like he'd seen better days. The Pork Trooper had done a great deal of damage to Duster, hitting him on the head with his giant fist – he was now bleeding heavily with no signs of stopping – she was glad he could still remember everything.

Damn it, she thought to herself, If only they had some sort of DCMC merchandise on them … the pamphlets burned … Duster didn't feel like showing off his boxers again … Lucas's hat was stolen … there just had to be some –

Wait! That's it!

Kumatora managed to stumble over to Duster, pain in her chest and clouds in her eyes. She forcefully grabbed onto his sleeve tightly and breathed, trying to get air to fill her lungs. Duster looked over to her, quite concerned.

"K-Kumatora … You're injured, you should sit down for a moment …" Duster said, trying to brush Kumatora off (Her grasp was quite tight – he was afraid he may lose feeling to his arm).

"Better listen to your friend there, girlie." The Pork Trooper said, laughing, "I never like beating up on a woman. But if I must, I'll beat you down to dust!" the Pork trooper laughed to the side, "Heh, that rhymed."

"H …. HA!" Kumatora yelled out, "Y-you seriously have no idea who you're fighting, do you?" She grabbed Duster's arm tighter, fighting to stay upright against the dizziness that was threatening to topple her.

"And why would I even care?" The Pork Trooper snorted.

"Just look at him for a moment." Kumatora said, motioning towards Duster, "The lean figure, those sturdy fingers, that large nose, everything but the afro on his head. Do you know who this guy is?"

The Pork Trooper studied the thief for several moments, Duster starting to feel quite awkward. Finally, after one last observation, the Pork Trooper jumped several feet back and gasped.

"O-Oh my pork …!!" The Scary Womanizing Pigmask said, "Y-You're Tamekichi!"

"Thaaaaaaaat's right." Kumatora said, smiling, "In the flesh."

Duster looked nervously between Kumatora and the Pigmask, even glancing at Lucas once or twice, who just shrugged, not knowing what to do. He was about to face one of his worst fears from the time he lost his memory.

Fans.

The Pigmask stomped up to Duster with a bright smile on his face, his hands clamped on each other from excitement. "O-Oh please excuse my rudeness, I had no idea who you were without that Afro on … I mean, everyone knows it's a wig, but people think you look better with it on, so people don't mind – I personally think you look rather stunning right now, just a change of clothes and the ladies will be all over you – Not that I would know, I mean … anyway, it's just great to see you, Tamekichi, afro-wig or not! It's not the wig that makes the man, it's the bass that does! You've really made me happy, I'm just …"

Duster stood awkwardly as the Scary Womanizing Pigmask rambled on about his fandom of the band. He was use to this kind of treatment, he just couldn't get comfortable in it. The best thing he could do was stand there and let the Pigmask spout out how he wish he could become part of the band. He then looked beside him to get some comfort from Kumatora as the fan kept bombarding Duster with his fandom …

… only to find Kumatora was missing.

Duster blinked and searched his surrounding areas, only to find that Kumatora was sneaking up on the Pork Trooper, her hands clamped together preparing for an attack.

"PK FREEZE!" She yelled, letting frost and ice flow out of her hands, freezing the whole backside of the Pork Trooper. The Pork Trooper tried to fight back, only to find his movements were slowed by the ice. Lucas found his chance and let out a combo move on the Pork Trooper to finish him. One, two, three, four, FIVE attacks unleashed by the small, young boy upon the Pork Trooper. Lucas made sure to put all his strength in the last blow and topple the pork trooper over.

The Pork Trooper landed on the ground hard. His eyes were dazed, his face was pale, and his breathing shallow. Kumatora punched her fist into her hand and smiled.

"Shall we finish him off here?"

"Wait! Kumatora!" Duster said, raising a hand to her, "I … Lets let this one go …"

Kumatora stared at Duster as if he grew 10 feet taller. "What?! But this guy tried to destroy us, twice!!"

"Still … this guy …" Duster Frowned as he looked upon the toppled heap of flesh that was the Pork Trooper. "I don't know if it's me or Tamekichi talking, but … I just can't seem to bring myself to actually 'finishing' this guy off … He's a fan of DCMC … and the DCMC, to me were like … well, brothers."

Kumatora tilted her head, not all that impressed by his speech. "And?"

"What I'm saying is …" Duster sighed, "I remember him coming to every one of our concerts. He bought our merchandise, wrote us fan letters, heck, I even hear he is part – or maybe even runs – the DCMC fan club."

Lucas Blinked. "There's a DCMC fan club?"

"… And all he asked from us in return was our music. I just … feel guilty doing this to him."

Kumatora sighed. "Fine. I may never understand you, but fine. We'll leave this guy alone. But if he tries to beat us up one more time, I swear, I'll cut off both his legs."

Duster winced as he heard this threat. But then smiled. "Thanks, Kumatora."

"Hey, the Pigmask here should be thanking you: you spared his life." Lucas said, smiling brightly.

"He might not realize this now, but that's the best gift you could ever give him now." Kumatora said, brushing herself off.

Duster smiled. "Yeah. I hope he will still listen to our music."

~*ALTERNATE STORY/ENDING HOWEVER YOU WANT TO READ IT*~

Wait! That's it!

But she would regret ever doing this.

Kumatora got up and healed herself. She thought herself stupid as why she didn't do that in the first place, but quickly brushed that thought aside. She faced the Pork Trooper with determination in her eyes.

"HEY! PIGMASK!"

The Pork Trooper, Lucas, and Duster all looked over to her.

She lifted her sweatshirt that covered most her body. "Check this out!!"

Lucas screamed and covered his eyes, blushing madly. Duster and the Pork Trooper stared with intent interest, also blushing madly. After several minutes, the Pork Trooper finally felt dazed and toppled over.

Kumatora put down her sweatshirt and brushed her hands against each other. She then looked at Duster, who by now has lost his mind.

Kumatora Punched Duster. "Come on, moron. Stop staring."

She grabbed Lucas by the shoulder and motioned him that it was okay to look now. Lucas questioned Kumatora why she would do such a thing, but the only answer that came out of her was 'It needed to be done.' The three ventured forward.

Meanwhile, Fassad and his Pork Troopers looked with disbelief at what just happened. Fassad was too afriad to move.

"S-sir ...?" A Pigmask spoke up, "Sh-should we follow?"

Fassad answered with a wail that seemed like a hybrid of a laugh and a scream. Then fell over, his face flushed with red.

"... I think that's a 'no'" Another Pigmask replied.

I AM SORRY TO ALL WOMEN WHO BLUSHED MADLY WHILE READING THIS. I SWEAR THE ALTERNATE STORY WAS BROUGHT UPON A FRIEND'S IDEA, NOT MINE. I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY!