Most days, I am up with the dawn, as is expected with all children of Amity. I help clean the horse and donkey stalls, or help load crates for the weekly shipment of our goods around the whole city. I'm expected to be up with a smile on my face, because that's what Amity is all about. No one thinks that maybe we get upset too, or angry or frustrated. We're the peaceful faction, so that means we always have to be happy, right?
The more I think about it, the more I realize that all of the factions are completely one-sided. The Candor must always be honest, the Erudite must always have the right answers, the Abnegation must always be selfless, and the Dauntless must always be brave. But then again, is there really anything wrong with being brave all the time?
"Caroline," my mother says as I walk back in from helping move empty crates to the field where they are to be loaded. "Good morning. Go clean up, sweetheart. I'll get our tea ready."
"Good morning, mother," I reply with a smile. Always smiling, always happy. Sometimes I think mom never belonged here-I can see the unhappiness in her eyes, sometimes. I've heard the story- she and Dad transferred to Amity together, but then dad turned out to like other men, and she was expected to be okay with him dragging her to a faction she never belonged in simply because Amity always accepts. Dad lives on the other side of Amity headquarters, and he's happy with his partner, whereas mom lives here miserable and regretful. Sometimes I wonder if she regrets me, but I would never ask.
I wash up and move back down the tedious wood steps to the living room. We have one of the oldest houses in Amity, built with a giant tree in the middle of it, and I've always loved how sturdy it is, how I feel safe even in my darkest moments. "Fresh berries?" Mom asks me.
"Yes, please," I smile, sitting down across from her and plucking a fresh raspberry from the bowl.
She slides my cup of tea to me, and I can see the expectation in her eyes. We all know what today is. "Are you ready for your Aptitude test?"
I nod. I may complain sometimes about Amity, but I already know it's going to be the faction I get on my Aptitude test. I'm the perfect Amity girl in the end, and it has it's ups and downs, but I wouldn't know where else to go.
Mom quints her eyes. "Good. And Caroline... no matter where you go-"
"Mom, it's okay," I reassure her, reaching forward and squeezing her hand tightly. "I already know where I'm going."
She looks doubtful. "No, you don't," she tells me. "Don't be so sure until after your Aptitude Test, alright?"
I sigh, but nod, because she really is right. I'm not 100% sure, but deep down I wonder if she really is looking out for me, or if she's just projecting her own regret onto me. As soon as I think it, I regret it. What a mean thing to think, especially about my mother! Pushing my guilt down, I gulp down the rest of my tea and stand up, popping a blueberry into my mouth. "I have to go," I tell her. "I'll see you tonight. I love you!"
"Remember to stop by your father's for dinner," she reminds me. Poor mom. She doesn't even get to run away from the pain of dad leaving her- they're going to be stuck by each other for the rest of their lives. They both run Amity- he solves unrest between the other Factions, whereas she keeps the peace within it, like a sort of 'peace Sheriff.' Father is fine working so close with her, but I know she would rather not have to.
"Alright," I nod. "Have a good day, mom." I slip out the door-there's no need for my school bag anymore, or ever again, really. Yesterday was our last day of public school, and the choosing Ceremony is tomorrow.
I see two familiar heads of hair standing by the school wagons, and veer towards them. April Young and Matt Donovan have been my best friends for as long as I can remember. I dated Matt for a while the year before, but he was just a little bit too, I don't know, safe for me, I guess. Now he and April spend their time making googly eyes at each other, which I'll probably have to deal with in the future, since they both are most likely to stay in Amity as well.
"Nervous for today, Care?" Matt asks me with a grin.
"Nope," I reply confidently, popping the p. "I got this."
"Of course you do," April cuts in as we get into the wagon. "You're Caroline Forbes, the picture perfect Amity princess. You've got everything." I spare her a smile and hope she's right.
April is the first of the three of us to go into the Aptitude test, since her last name is 'Young' and the order goes backwards alphabetically, for whatever reason. People whisper around me, and laughter bubbles up every once in a while. We are carefree even in such a nerve wracking time such as this. At some point, my friend Liv comes up and begins to braid my hair, her brother Luke beside her, and, almost like an instinct, I reach over and begin to braid hers as well, eyes still on Matt as he talks. Amity know no such thing as a personal bubble.
"Are you nervous, Caroline?" Luke asks me after Matt has finished his story-it is the polite thing to wait until someone has finished speaking to speak yourself.
"Of course she's not," Liv snorts, still working on braiding my hair. "She's Caroline. She's had everything planned out since we were in diapers." I think that if she transfers, it will be to Candor, and if she transfers, Luke will follow her, which means I will lose two friends. My heart aches.
"I'm prepared," I agree with her, and it's dropped at that.
Liv goes next out of our little group, and then Luke, and when they come back, they look as fine as they did before. They got what they assumed they would, I'm sure. "Caroline Forbes," is finally called, and I stand up, straightening out my yellow skirts.
"Good luck," a few of my friends chorus, but it sounds nonchalant. They assume I have this in the bag- so much so I don't even need luck. Liv gives me a thumbs up, and I wink at her before walking down the aisle.
An Amity girl I don't know very well also goes at the same time as me, and we both give each other 'good luck' grins, walking in step out of the cafeteria. Waiting outside are ten separate rooms-two for each faction at a time. I walk into the first room, the girl I was with walking into the second, and immediately I take in my surroundings. The walls are made of mirrors, which I'm not used to seeing. I let my eyes land on myself, on the features I'm already used to seeing-wavy blonde hair, bright eyes, pale skin. But this time I'm not smiling. A wave of nerves I wasn't expecting washes over me, and hurriedly I turn to the administrator.
She's a Dauntless woman, but not nearly as severe as the ones I'm used to. Her hair is a light brown and to her shoulders, her green-blue eyes criticizing me for a moment before nodding towards the chair. "Sit down." I obey, walking to the seat that kind of looks like a dentist's chair. Cautiously, I stare at the machine next to the chair, and the woman follows my gaze. "Don't worry, it doesn't hurt. My name is Rose. I'll be administering your test today. You're-" she looks at the computer screen. "-Caroline?"
"Yes," I tell her, taking a deep breath. Relax, Caroline. It will be over quickly- a piece of cake. And then my five year plan can continue on the path it was supposed to.
Rose stands behind me, and I watch through the mirrors as she grabs a few wires and attaches them to my temples. Then she turns again, grabbing a vial of some sort of clear liquid. "Drink this," she orders, and I look at it cautiously.
"What is it?"
Vaguely, she looks annoyed. "The serum, obviously," she scoffs. "I have to administer it somehow."
"Sorry," I apologize, taking it gently from her. "Is it gross?"
She shakes her head. "You won't taste anything. Come on, Amity." I take a deep breath before pouring the liquid into my mouth, and within three seconds my world goes blank.
Rose is no longer with me when I wake up. I'm back in the cafeteria, but none of my friends are there anymore- no Liv, no Luke, no Matt, no April. In front of me is a table with two bowls. In one is a piece of cheese, and in the other is a knife. "Choose," a voice says, and I blink, frantically looking between the options. Barely even registering what I'm doing, I snatch up the knife, and as soon as I do, the tables disappear, and there's the distinct sound of growling behind me. I spin, face blanching when I come face to face with a snarling dog, and immediately I raise the knife, ready to defend myself if need be.
The dog snarls and lunges at me, and I stumble back slightly. It's teeth are snapping at my neck, and I fall onto my butt. I don't want to hurt it- I know every life has a purpose. 16 years have taught me that. So why do I slash out the hand with the knife anyways? Why do I plunge it into the dog's stomach with barely a second thought?
It slumps to the ground, and for a moment I get the urge to cry, but I don't get the chance. The floor starts to waver, and I begin to melt through it along with the body of the dog. Once again, my world goes blank.
I wake up gasping for air, my whole body shaking. Rose looks at me, and I'm surprised to see that she looks faintly impressed as she nods at me and then her eyes move back to the screen. "What's my result?" I ask her, and for some reason I'm afraid of what she's going to tell me.
She glances at me again. "You, my dear, are 100% Dauntless."
And just like that, my 5 year plan comes shattering around me.