Rating is T – sometimes more adult themes
Summary: Romance, Mystery, emotional and physical whump with John Sheppard and now established O/C ; John is behaving out of character and his friends want to know why.
Season: Season 5, post Inquisition
Spoilers: Season 5 generally
Disclaimer: Not mine. Though John Sheppard is in my guilty imagination

A/N:- This is a follow up to my stories Falling to Pieces and Putting it Back Together.

The early morning air was cool over her face and arms as she paused for breath from her morning run and looked across the empty ocean. Atlantis was like a grand old lady, her skirts dampened by the mists that rolled in from the mainland; you could almost feel her shrinking back from the cold touch of the water. Cat ran her hand through her blonde hair, which stringily stuck to her forehead from a combination of sweat and early morning dew, and sighed. A few months into her marriage with John, and she should not be out here at the crack of dawn, but curled up in the warmth of his arms. Fat chance, she thought. For the past week, he had come to bed late and, rather than putting his arms around her and kissing her as was their routine, had turned his back to her and fallen asleep. Last night, he had come in reeking of alcohol and thrown his clothes off in a crumpled mess around the room. Mornings were no better: he was either up or out when she woke, or he kept to his side of the bed, barely moving or registering her presence. This morning, she crossed the distance between them, put her arms around his waist and kissed his neck. Her touch had made him jump and he leapt out of bed, (normally he slept naked, but he had taken to wearing the panda t-shirt and jogging bottoms that were his habit in his bachelor days) had a shower and, dressing without a word or glance in her direction, left for work. The rejection had left her stunned, and she had been determined to work-off the pain of it with a much harder run that she was used to these days. It wasn't working. The ache in her chest was more than the result of the exertion. She sat down hard on the edge of the pier, legs dangling, and salty tears mingled with the salty spray from the ocean.

Richard Woolsey was concerned. He had received some disconcerting reports about the uncharacteristic behaviour of his 2iC. He knew John Sheppard well enough by now to appreciate his unflappability, his good nature and his humour, often in the face of the direst problem or difficulty. Yesterday Chief Maria Johnson, the excellent if rather scary Head of Catering in the city, had come to see him. If he didn't know better, he could swear she had been crying. The Colonel had very specific eating habits and hated junk or sugar filled food; she always kept a supply of fresh fruit for him. Unfortunately, the planet they usually traded with had let them down, and she had run out. Her story of the temper tantrum, which included a tirade aimed directly at her with the worst possible language and a plate thrown past her left ear just missing the poor junior assistant standing behind her, was extremely worrying. Just this morning he had received an e-mail from a junior scientist who had accidentally walked into the Colonel in the corridor. The poor man had found himself up against the wall, a pair of very angry eyes boring into him, the bruises on his forearms evidence of the other man's fury. And last night, Harry Burt had radioed him from the bar: Sheppard was extremely drunk and aggressive, and nobody dared to approach him. Finally, he had got hold of Ronon, who forcefully manhandled his friend back to his quarters.

Woolsey was not looking forward to it, but this was a problem he needed to face as soon as possible. No matter how much he respected him, he needed a military commander capable of doing his job, and it looked as though something was very amiss with the Colonel. 'Doctor Sheppard. Do you have time to come to my office, please?' Woolsey buzzed Cat, trying to maintain a casual tone. As the closest to John, she would surely be able to shed some light on what was going on. As an afterthought, he added, just in case her husband took notice, 'Um, I want to talk to you about appointing a new assistant.'

Cat jumped from her reverie at Woolsey's voice in her ear. 'Okay, Mr Woolsey. I'm out for my morning run, but I'll be there as soon as I have showered. How does in an hour sound?' A new assistant sounded promising, she had been hard pressed to keep up with the work since the Alisha Wilson incident, but she couldn't help but wonder if there was more to Woolsey's request. She very rarely had the 'honour' of a one-to-one meeting with him.

Atlantis' premier team had gated off-world early that morning, on a routine visit to a friendly trading planet. One of Woolsey's early directives had been to insist that SGA1 visit all their allies at regular times in the year. John had initially objected to the regularity of these rather mundane and often tedious trips, but Woolsey had a good understanding of diplomacy. John Sheppard and his team were now famous in the Galaxy and so greatly admired by most of the agricultural societies, that it was an honour to be visited by them. This morning, the Colonel had been more than usually bad-tempered about the prospect, and had barely spoken a word before he left, his usual relaxed grin missing and replaced with a dark and brooding scowl. It was this that had finally persuaded Woolsey of the need to speak to Cat.

An hour later, she was in his office. Woolsey, she noted, looked even more uncomfortable than usual, and was shuffling his pen around the desk in front of him. Finally, he spoke. 'Look, Doctor. This is a bit awkward, but have you noticed any unusual behaviour from your husband recently?'

Cat paused. 'I wish I could say 'no' to that, but yes, I have. I just don't know what's going on with him, but I'm assuming it's something I've said and done, although I've been wracking my brains and I can't think what.' Her voice wavered.

'I don't know, Catherine.' Woolsey rarely used her first name, but he could see how upset she was. 'He's been behaving very erratically around the base and I've had several reports about his aggressive and violent behaviour. It is most uncharacteristic and I need to take some action. I thought you might be able to shed some light on what is wrong. Maybe the stress of the last few years is finally taking its toll. I mean, he's been through an awful lot and had to shoulder an enormous burden here. It would only be human to feel the effects.'

Cat took a deep breath. 'I honestly have no idea what is going on with him. He has barely spoken to me in the last week. It just isn't like John to let things get on top of him.'

Unwilling to upset her further, he briefly outlined the reports he had received about John's behaviour, leaving out some of the detail. Cat was most shocked with the Maria Johnson incident, knowing how much John really liked the woman and made a silent promise to visit her as soon as possible.

At that moment, the warning alarm of an incoming worm-hole sounded through the control room. Woolsey started. No-one was due in yet.

'It's Colonel Sheppard's IDC,' said Chuck evenly.

Through the gate came a ragged and breathless group. John led the way, radiating anger, evidence of a bruise forming on his left cheek. Teyla, Ronon and Rodney followed, the latter complaining very loudly about something. Ronon scowled at John and stormed out of the control room, followed by Teyla, who threw a concerned glance back at John before she left.

'Colonel Sheppard and Doctor McKay, report to my office immediately.' Woolsey beckoned to the pair from the top of the stairs.

Close-up, there was more evidence of bruising on John's face, there was a red graze on his chin, and he was rubbing his right knuckle painfully. Rodney was clearly furious and initially speechless. Cat tried to catch John's eye, but after initially passing a glowering glance between her and Woolsey, his eyes had been firmly glued to the floor.

'Colonel Sheppard, Doctor McKay, will someone please tell me what the hell has been going on and why my military commander looks like he's been in a bar room brawl?'

'Well, we were having a perfectly normal little chat with the natives, when Colonel hot head here decided to take exception to the way this rather large local, no let's call him a Yeti, was looking at him and started a fist fight. Ronon had to pull him off, but not before he came out much the worse for wear and we legged it back through the gate. I think that's one planet where they might be less than happy to see us again,' complained Rodney, then speaking directly to John, 'I mean, what the **** did you think you were doing anyway? When do you ever start a fight? What's got into you?' Rodney was genuinely shocked. Never, in the years he had known his friend had he known him to be other than even-tempered and good-natured, let alone out of control. Yes, it was that which had bothered him the most.

'Yes Colonel, I would like to hear the answer to that question,' demanded Woolsey.

For a moment, John was still and continued to stare at the floor, then he raised his eyes and, staring angrily first at Woolsey and then at Cat, in a way that made her muscles shake with distress, finally stormed from the control room to the surprised and shocked looks of everyone. John was a solid and permanent centre of calm and authority for every single person on the base, and each witness felt an uncomfortable unease at his erratic behaviour.

'I'll go after him,' she said, after a painful pause. 'I'll find out what is the matter, ' and she ran after John.

The lights were off in their quarters when she arrived, but she could hear his breathing and just 'knew' he was there. She would get him to talk to her, she just would, but she also knew that she had to be careful. This was a John Sheppard who she didn't know and he frightened her, and that scared her even more because she never expected to feel that way around him of all people. Once or twice she had hinted to him a little of her childhood, but had never told him the whole truth. Her father was a bitter man, subject to paranoiac delusions about the way others felt about him, and was prone to violent outbursts. More than once, she had felt the force of his hand and once he had split her lip, so violently had he hit her. But, with John, she had always felt absolutely safe, until now.

'John?' she asked cautiously, 'John, are you alright? Can I do anything to help?' As she spoke, she moved towards the bed, where she could just distinguish a shadowy lump and calmly sat on the edge of the bed next to him, gently stroking his back, his face turned away from her. 'My darling, we're all very worried about you. Please tell me what the matter is? Is it something I've done?' her voice was quavering with emotion.

With unexpected speed and force, he grabbed her right hand and forced her onto her back, his body heavy on top of her, pinning her to the bed.

'So, you and Woolsey have been discussing me behind my back have you? I thought as much. What right do you have to do that? I deserve much better from my so called friends,' he hissed, his breath hot on her face. The next minutes were a blur. He kissed her violently, holding her arms so tightly that she could feel the bruises forming, and she could hardly breathe. She tried to struggle against him, but he would not let her go, and he began to tear at her shirt, ripping it as he did. Momentarily, she had an almost out-of-body experience, unable to believe that this was John attacking her, a man normally so sweet and generous in love-making, even when at his most passionate. It was so much a parody of how things were normally between them, that she almost laughed out loud. This was John. He still smelt the same as his skin touched hers, the delicious aroma of aftershave and soap that was him, but this was not the John she knew and loved, no adored. Just when she thought she could fight not longer, he gave up and she felt the weight of his body leave her and heard the door open and close, leaving her sobbing uncontrollably in despair and disbelief. For a couple of hours she lay there, before she tapped her radio and managed to say, 'Jennifer, it's Cat. Please could you come to my quarters? It's urgent.'

'Oh my god, what's happened Cat?' gasped Jennifer. Her friend's shirt was ripped open and there were several buttons missing, and hand shaped bruises were beginning to form a ring around her upper arms, visible just beneath the short sleeves, but the tear-stained face would be enough evidence of the trauma she had just experienced. In between breathless sobs, Cat managed to recount what had happened, all the time feeling like the worst kind of traitor. She was convinced that something had to be wrong with John; maybe some kind of alien presence or bug had caused his dramatic personality swing. A well John Sheppard just wouldn't, couldn't treat her like that.

'Teyla, can you come to Cat and John's quarters please?' Jennifer just didn't know what to do. Cat was hysterical but absolutely clear that she didn't want Woolsey to find out; she didn't want to be responsible for ruining his career. There was no answer from Teyla.

'Chuck, can you tell me where Teyla is right now, please?' Jennifer asked the communications technician.

'I'm sorry m'am, but Teyla is off-world with Colonel Sheppard's team. An urgent request for their support came through from Todd, personally asking for the Colonel. They left about ten minutes ago.'

TBC

This is something a little different and not just the usual romance and angst that I write about. I wanted to add in some adventure, given that it is what the programme is all about anyway. There will be more romance and whumpage for those who like...!

Please R & R as ever. The next chapter will be posted shortly.