Animal
so if it's just tonight
the animal inside, let it live then die
like it's the end of time
like everything inside
let it live then die.
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She was happy this way. That's what she told herself every time she saw him. Her best friend of two years. They met at camp when she was naïve and he was an annoying pop star.
Things had started badly but after all of the drama they had become friends. After camp had finished for the summer they had exchanged numbers and promised to keep in touch. He always kept his promises. He had called her a week later and she told him about school and he told her about his bands current tour. Their phone, text, and e-mail conversations continued like this for several months until he finally came home.
She wanted to spend as much time with him as she could and she didn't know why. Of course, he was her best friend and it was understandable that she would want to see him, but she didn't understand why she wanted to see him so much.
Of course though, she came to realize that she had fallen in love with her best friend. Oh how very cliché of her. This is not what she wanted, so she happily pretended as though nothing had changed. He was happy, she was happy, they were both happy. Months later though her heart caught up with her head, she wasn't happy. She wanted him to smile at her like she smiled at him, with that sparkle in her eyes. It hurt because she knew he didn't feel the same.
This was where she was now: sitting on her bed at one o'clock in the morning, talking to him on the phone while he was in the recording studio half way across the world.
"If I'm late for school tomorrow I won't think twice about giving you a slap."
He simply chuckled.
"Don't doubt me, you know I'll do it."
"Oh I know, my arm still hurts from last time!" his chuckle was still intact.
She loved his laugh, it was so infectious, so masculine and perfect. She couldn't help but laugh along with him. This was how most of their phone conversations went, he never failed to have her in stitches, even when she was being deadly serious.
"So when will you be home?" she asked after the laughter had died.
"Soon" was his reply.
---------------
It had been two weeks since their last phone call, and thankfully she wasn't late for school. The stress of up-coming exams were getting to her and he had text her to say he was tied up with work. She wanted to phone him, his voice would calm her, make the stress go away for a couple of hours but she would never disturb his work. She was walking home from school, another day filled with teachers reminding her of how important it was to study for these exams, like she needed reminding.
"Mom! I'm home!" she called as she walked in her front door.
She didn't wait for her mothers response, just continued to walk upstairs and into her bedroom. She walked inside and god, her room was a mess. Did she not clean this last night? She let out a small groan and started to pick up the clothes laying on her carpet.
A small creak from the corner of the room had her glance up in surprise and drop the clothes. What the hell? There he was, the boy who had stolen her heart, the boy who was supposed to be thousands of miles away, was sitting in the small rocking chair beside her bed that she'd had since she was a child. She stared at him blankly.
"Uh, what?" Out of all the things she could have said, this was what her brain had made her say.
He smiled at her stupidly - oh god that smile. She'd missed that smile.
"Told you I'd be home soon."
She let out a small laugh as he moved across the room to scoop her in for a hug. She wrapped her arms around his neck and she could feel him smile against her shoulder.
"So, as it turns out, I actually got home sooner than I thought, and guess where I went as soon as I got back?"
She smiled.
"I've missed you so much! You should hear the new album though, it's amazing, I can't wait for the release, but enough about that, tell me about those exams." He sat down on her bed and patted the space next to him, inviting her over.
So she told him everything, how stressed she was, how much her teachers have been pestering her, how she just wished they were over. He absorbed her every word, nodding at the right times, giving sympathetic smiles whenever necessary, but mostly he just watched her. He watched when she scrunched her nose up in anger or when she sighed in defeat. He wanted to see her smile, he didn't know how.
"I love you, Michelle" he blurted.
Oh god.
She stopped talking as soon as he started. Her eyes grew large and her mouth went dry. What?
"I..I..Uh.." she had no idea what to say until she knew what he had meant.
"Yeah, so that's really not the way I planned on telling you" he inwardly cringed at himself and his stupid mouth.
"I wanted to be romantic, like in all those movies you watch. I guess I'm not the best romantic, it sort of just slipped-"
She cut off his babbling with a kiss. Just a small, gentle, hardly even there kiss.
She grinned. "I love you too, Shane."
He grinned back.
"But don't ever call me Michelle again. Got that?"
"I promise"
He sealed his promise with a kiss.
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this is our last chance
give me your hands
'cause our world is spinning at the speed of light
the night is fading, heart is racing
now, just come love me like we're gonna die.