So I got into a long conversation with the lovely Ultrawolfie about King headcanons this morning, and it left me in such a fairy writing mood I just had to do something. Even though you probably didn't intend this, thank you :)

I guess this fic can be considered a preview for a little something I'm working on once I finish Remember Me?, actually. I'm planning on having a series of oneshots and drabbles about pre-Fairy King!Harlequin, and just the fairies as kids in general. That's the plan anyway. Even if that doesn't happen, I hope you still enjoy this fic!

"Harlequin, what's that?"

Now, he may have only been friends with Harlequin for a hundred years or so, but he could still easily tell when something was wrong. If the younger fairy's stuttered "good morning", averted eyes, and awkward movements didn't tip Helbram off that there was a problem, that certainly did.

"What's what?" Just look at that guilty expression! That little stinker! Did he think Helbram was that stupid?

"I see them, Harlequin!"

"I- I don't know what you're talking about."

Helbram crossed his arms and began tapping his foot impatiently, a habit he had picked up from watching the humans. However, since they were about 10 feet off the ground, it wasn't very effective, and his foot just sort of waggled back and forth in the air. "Come on. Change them back!"

Harlequin's face was red, and he continued to look anywhere except at Helbram. With his head turned away, he gave Helbram an even better view of the problem. Without a word, Helbram reached out and pinched the tip of his friend's ear hard, and Harlequin yelped. The pain broke his concentration, and Helbram found himself gripping a small round ear instead of a long, pointy one.

"That hurt, Helbram!" Harlequin cried, tearing himself out of his friend's grip and rubbing his ear. He snuck an uneasy glance at Helbram, and instantly drooped when he saw the disappointed glare.

"Who was it, Harlequin?"

The other fairy looked genuinely confused. "H-huh?"

"Who was picking on you this time!?"

"N-no one!" He shook his head and finally met his friend's eyes. "No one's had a chance to today, but I thought, maybe, if I hid them…"

Helbram wagged his finger in time to his words. "One was bigger than the other and they were sticking out in different directions."

"Oh, really?" Harlequin tapped a finger to his chin thoughtfully, "I guess I need more practice."

"No, you don't!" Helbram said with his hands on his hips, "you're not fooling anyone!"

Harlequin gave him an excited smile, but his words only frustrated Helbram more. "But maybe, if I practice more, and I keep it up every day, everyone will forget I'm not normal! I've been practicing wings too, and I'll teach Elaine, and no one will tease us anymore!"

"No one is going to forget so quickly!"

"But I-"

Helbram sighed and tried to calm his anger. "No, because you don't need to pretend at all! You wouldn't be Harlequin without those ears!" He said, giving them a playful tug.

Harlequin batted his hand away. "Don't you think I'm strange?"

Helbram grinned, "Well, of course you are! And so am I! And I wouldn't have it any other way!"

The other fairy laughed and gave Helbram a hug. They only paused for a moment before the green-haired fairy whispered, "but… I am kinda curious now…"

Harlequin pulled away to see Helbram had given himself rounder ears like his own. It really didn't look right with Helbram's face or hair, and he had overdone the roundness so that they looked as circular as buttons.

The younger fairy giggled, while Helbram cupped his hand around his new ear and frowned. "Wow, I feel like my hearing just decreased a whole lot. So, this is why you never wake up when I call you."

"Hey." Harlequin turned his head away and pouted, "Your hearing can't be that much better than mine, or you wouldn't be so loud all the time."

As Harlequin talked, Helbram slowly did a flip in the air, stopping upside down with his hair falling strangely on the round ears. "Aw, come on, Harlequin, you can't find me that obnoxious, or you wouldn't laugh at every other thing I say."

"I do not," Harlequin turned upside down as well so he could frown at him properly, "and I know lots of fairies who are plenty funnier than you."

"Ouch, that hurts. But I'm the only funny fairy allowed to tease you, aren't I?"

Harlequin smiled as he sighed. "I guess so."

"That's right!" Helbram said excitedly as he righted himself. "I am! So any time somebody else teases you again, you gotta tell them something for me, okay?"

"Okay?" Harlequin crossed his arms and waited, still upside down.

"You tell them, 'you are dumb, and I'm amazing.'"

"That'll go over well."

"I'm serious! Here, let's practice!" He transformed into a caricature of a fairy he'd seen picking on his friend before. He pointed at Harlequin. "Hey, look, he doesn't have any wings! That means I have to be mean to him for some reason!" He gave this form a ridiculously exaggerated high-pitched voice, and Harlequin chuckled.

"I like the voice, but the things they say are usually a little worse than that."

Helbram put a finger to his own lips. "Acting, Harlequin, acting. Now play along, and do your part."

"Do I really have to say it? It wouldn't do me any good in practice."

"Yes!"

Harlequin sighed. "You are dumb."

"And?"

"And I'm amazing." He said after a long pause.

Helbram poofed back into his usual self and clapped energetically. "Very good, you're a natural!"

"But Helbram… I already told you that in the real world, this wouldn't do me any good. I'd only make everyone angrier."

Helbram closed his eyes and nodded, then flew forward and bopped Harlequin on the nose. "That's why, dear Harlequin, once you tell them that, you fly away as fast as you can and you come find me. And you tell me who was picking on you, and I'll take care of the rest. Like we said, no one is allowed to tease you except me, got it?" He was already formulating ideas on how to humiliate those bullies…

"Got it."

"So… No more transforming unless it's just for fun, okay? I mean, you've already said just now that you're amazing, so you must realize you don't need to do it."

Harlequin laughed. "Okay, Helbram."

I think everyone needs a sassy senpai Helbram in their lives to tell them they're amazing and that bullies are dumb.