OK How 'bout a funny Sword Art Online story? Here ya go. Bit of swearing and suicide out of insanity. I'm poking fun at the Fairy King or whatever his name is.
Trapped. That was Asuna's life for her in ALO. She was at the receiving end of the fairy king's abuse and Kirito wasn't coming soon. So she lay on her bed drawing gender-swapped versions of Kirito and Herself. And fell asleep doing it.
Someone did find her. "Hey. Daydreamer." was the person's greeting.
"Huh? Female Kirito; is that you?" Asuna said drowsily "Oh I knew you were real!"
"I'm not Female Kirito ya loser." Mrs Unknown replied.
"What?" Asuna said as she rubbed her eyes and saw a teenage girl around her age with blonde hair done up in a ponytail. She wore a green and white suit, like Asuna's costume in SAO only that was red and white. "Who the heck are you?"
"I'm Leafa." The girl revealed "I'm a sylph and Kirito's companion at the moment."
"Oh." Asuna replied in disappointment. "Where the hell is he anyway, I've been stuck in here for months. And don't give me some random excuse like he got killed or something."
"He did get drunk and killed in the game, you shit!" was Leafa's hostile answer. "I had to wheel him home from the hospital because he couldn't walk!"
"Why was he in the hospital?" Asuna cracked "Did he drink too much that he got sick?"
"I SAID HE GOT DRUNK!" Leafa yelled. "He was throwing stuff around, getting into fights and vomiting everywhere! It was revolting! And He tried raiding the world tree while he was legless."
"Obviously he failed." Asuna heckled.
"You Kidding? He got killed several times and kept trying again and again." Leafa went on. "I had to log out so I could get him to stop. He vomited in his nerve gear and wrecked it! I had to take him to the hospital and he bossed me around telling me to free your sorry ass or he'll kill me."
"Shit." Asuna answered "I wouldn't have pictured him as the kind of person who gets so drunk he ends up sick and hostile in the hospital."
"Yeah. That's cousins and adoptive brothers for ya." Leafa responded. "They wound up putting him on atheistic."
"Wait. Are you two relatives or something?" Asuna asked. "And since you're his compatriot why are you here?"
"He's making me do his dirty work for him! So yes I'm his adoptive brother/cousin!" Leafa yelled.
"That's nice. Can you help me bust out of here?" Asuna asked. Leafa just responded with a 'why am I here? / STFU!' look. Eventually she found a way in. But it closed behind her and locked.
"FUUUUUUUUUUUUU-!"Leafa screamed but was cut off by Asuna.
"At least now I have someone to talk to." Asuna interrupted.
Leafa wasn't in the mood for conversation. It was a rough 2 days for her "Hey. As soon as I bust you out of here and I get out of here, I'm not talking to you, Tuna!" Was her ultimatum.
Asuna then scoffed "What did I do? And it's Asuna."
"Not feeling pity, being insubordinate towards me and making me do something that I don't want to do!" Leafa yelled
"I'm sorry for the first two." Asuna apologised "But I'm not the one who's being a heartless asshole and making you my slave."
"Oh yeah. Kazuto is doing that." Leafa sarcastically remarked.
"That's his real name? You're in love with him aren't ya?" Asuna joked. However Leafa was getting pissed, as if she wasn't enough.
"SHUT UP!" Leafa screamed "I had a moment were I was falling in love with him, but that's passed. Why would I fall in love with a sorry excuse like him anyway? He's my cousin/bother."
"Calm down." A little fairy told Leafa. It was Yui, Kirito and Asuna's 'daughter' she appeared from Asuna. "No use crying over something you can't control. And falling in love with a sibling is known as incest or something."
"Thanks. I guess I shouldn't be whining." Leafa remarked
"If Kirito's nerve gear's wrecked, how come Yui's here?" Asuna asked.
"She must've transferred her data into your nerve gear." Leafa noted in confusion "Oh; and here comes your 'boyfriend'." She saw the fairy king.
"Uh oh." Asuna quietly shuddered.
The fairy king made his grand entrance but was shocked by the sight of a look-alike girl trying to free Asuna, not Kirito. He even got the two confused. "Wha? Two Asunas? Which one's the real one?"
Asuna cocked out with "Isn't it obvious?"
Leafa then decided to pitch in "Yes I'm Asuna."
Asuna then went "No I'm Asuna."
Leafa yelled "I'm Asuna!"
Asuna fired back with "I'm Asuna!
It went back and forth when it got to him.
"ARGGGGH I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRE!" he yelled over the top of them. Asuna and Leafa both stopped in shock and then the Fairy King killed himself with his own sword.
"Oh! Oh crap he stabbed himself!" Leafa said almost choking.
Asuna got payback with "No shit there Beefa."
Leafa was mighty close to punching Asuna right there and then. However she was stopped with a message that she cleared the game.
"What?!" Leafa yelled in shock.
Asuna then was able to log out too. "Now I can get out of here." She said "Thanks for that bit of improvisation... Leafa."
"No problem." Leafa replied "I have something on Kirito now. I completed ALO before he could, and I haven't drunken booze yet either. See you sometime?"
Asuna then responded back "I thought you weren't talking to me after you bust me out."
"Sorry." Leafa apologised "I needed to vent stress. It was a rough 2 days for me."
They both exchanged good-byes and logged out.
Later...
"So that's how I was able to drive the creator insane and beat the game and make a friend in a few minutes." Leafa told Kirito. She looked nothing like her avatar in real life. She had dark bluish hair and looked younger than she was.
Asuna further rubbed it in "Hey you look nothing like your avatar." Leafa just nodded. Kirito was in a whole-body cast, slinged. "What the hell happened here?!" Asuna laughed, Kirito shot her a foul look.
Leafa then told Asuna "He fell out of our bedroom window still drunk to find another nerve gear to save you and broke all his bones." It was silent for about 5-8 seconds and the two girls burst out laughing. Don't ask anyone how he didn't die.
"At least he'd do anything to save me!" Asuna noted. "Anyway we'd better go."
"I'll just leave the TV on... Ah look NASCAR." Leafa cruelly giggled as she walked out leaving the TV on something he didn't like.
Kirito muffled screamed at the top of his lungs. His words were translated to: "ASUNA?! SUGUHA?! ANYONE!? HELP! GET BACK HERE! ASUNA! LEAFA! GET BACK HERE NOW! NO! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
Well there you go. Hope you liked it. Review, favourite and all that stuff please?!