January 1st, 1980, 12:00:03
"Happy New Year!"
"Red's a Dumbass!" shouted Kelso.
Thud
"Wow," said Hyde, "Red finally put something up someone's ass."
"And it wasn't mine!" said Eric, sounding relieved.
"I don't think that rhino horn looks very comfortable," Donna mentioned.
"Too bad you didn't wear that helmet on your ass," said Fez.
Thud
The sound of Red's laughter peeled through the house, ringing in the new decade.