I heard him enter the room, he asked the nurses to give him a minute and they did as they were asked. The door closed and I heard him approach me.
"If you pull a stunt like that again."
He sounded tired, as if he had actually been worried about me. I remember coming in on the trolley and looking around as best I could with my head secured, he was there then. Worried eyes scanning over my body as if he couldn't quite believe it was me. He had joked his way through my initial treatment, but that has always been his way of coping. Not that I approve.
"I should have been a better son, I know that."
He had spoken again. I agreed with him on that one, he broke her heart when he moved away and changed his surname. It was as if he had removed himself from the family all over some stupid argument with Dad. When she was ill he would never visit. Turned up the day she died and he was with her while it happened, while I was at work. That hurt.
"I had you there, my safety net. I can't let anything happen to you, not now. Because, you're all I've got. And I'm sorry I've never told you before how much I needed you."
Was he crying? He sure sounded like he was. Cal never cried, not even as a child. I knew he took advantage of having me there to pick up the piece but I had never thought he would see me as a safety net. He sounds so protective when he tells me he can't let anything happen to me, he's never been protective before. All he has left? Well yeah, but he disowned the family, he was on his own for years when he moved away what the difference now? It's not like we've bonded over Mum being ill and dying. If anything that made it worse. What does he need me for? To bully? That's all he does, take the mick out of me. That's something I have got used to especially over the past year while he's been working here.
"I'm sorry about a lot of things. You are my little brother, and I love you."
He is definitely crying now. He regrets a lot, I can hear it in his voice and when I think about it if what he has said is true then seeing me on deaths door and being the only one able to treat me must have been so scary for him. Now I feel sorry for him, everything I hate him for has gone out the window, I just want to give him a hug. He wouldn't want that. I doubt he would want to know that I can actually hear him, so I just lay still and keep my eyes closed.
He's getting up, he's leaving now. Probably to go and get changed and drink away today. That's what he is good at.
At the end of the day though, he is my big brother, and I love him too.
Hope you guys enjoyed it, not sure if I could or should do a second chapter. Let me know what you think :)