Lusting after the enemy!
Chapter 1 – Sordid Secret
Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters or the J.K Rowling books, no copyright infringement is intended.
A/N: Well this is a re-launch of this chapter, after I posted it the first time around I got some help from my beta reader and I realized that my punctuation was shocking. So here it is again, hopefully it's improved slightly and is more enjoyable to read because of the changes made. Thanks to for all the help.
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Thousands of candles floated above, sending light dancing in every direction. The sound of hundreds of students talking had slowly started dying down to a gentle hum as the house tables began to clear. The sweet smell of freshly made cakes lingered in the air making those who were tired feel intoxicated and ready to clamber the stairs to bed.
The table laced in silver and green had almost emptied apart from the odd student sat on their own. But one particular group of peers still remained and they didn't appear to have any intention of departing anytime soon. Everyone in that group appeared to be engrossed in a heated discussion apart from one blonde haired boy who had his own troubles to worry about; he had allowed his mind to leave the argument sometime ago.
He was staring up at the thunderous night sky which he felt was greatly ironic as it reflected his feelings well. Although he was intrigued by the night sky and how it looked like a storm was going to ripple through it at any moment, he found his concentration focusing itself elsewhere.
He knew whatever kept drawing his attention to her was unforgivable he shouldn't be feeling anything other than hatred towards her, but as hard as he tried he couldn't feel that way. He had battled with himself for a long time but now it seemed easier to give in to this craving rather than fight it. Although he allowed himself to cave in he still kept it a sordid secret.
Looking over the other two tables to the one furthest away he could see her surrounded by a few friends who were having an argument, unlike him she was clearly very involved. She slammed her hands on the table in frustration and pulled herself up and marched out the great hall in a very dramatic fashion. He watched her until she had disappeared from view.
Draco couldn't help but thinking she looked very sexy as she stormed out of the room, if only he could have been near her to hear her deep heavy breaths, to catch the scent of her hair, to feel the slight clip of her cloak as she turned the corner. Or even better, she could have turned the corner and fell straight into his chest...
Before he had a chance to continue with that option he realized that he was no longer surrounded by raised voices, a silence had fell throughout the group as they had been watching him. He hoped his facial expression wasn't going to give away the real reason he had been watching her.
"Ha, those three always manage to be centre of attention. It's pathetic!" Draco spluttered. He needed to cover his tracks and quick.
"I know typical Potter and I can't say I expect anything more from that filthy mudblood or the blood traitor" Pansy snarled. Relief washed over Draco; luckily they hadn't noticed the real reason for him not being able to take his eyes off her. He was going to have to be more careful as he wouldn't be able to lie his way out of it every time.
The fact that Pansy had called Hermione a mudblood hadn't really upset him, after all he had called her this many times. All it had done was remind him that she was totally off limits and set it in concrete. There was no way he could destroy his families' pure blood line and his father would make sure of it, even if it meant disowning his only son.
"Come on let's get away from these fools before they start again." Draco demanded throwing a repulsed look in Harry and Ron's direction. He got up and led the way with Pansy hot on his heels. Draco walked at an unusually quick pace; he was hoping to catch a glimpse of Hermione walking up the stairs, unfortunately for him this hope wasn't fulfilled.
Draco walked to the common room in silence; he seemed to spend a lot of his time this way now and it hadn't gone unnoticed by his friends.
Pansy marched quicker and grabbed hold of Draco's hand; she didn't say anything to him though, she knew better. Draco thought about shrugging her off but knew that would only lead to an argument and he really didn't want to deal with that tonight. So he played along with her letting go of her hand and placing his arm over her shoulders and pulling her in to him. Pansy was impressed with this and couldn't stop a smile spreading across her face as she placed her hand across the bottom of his back. Together, still in silence they walked to the common room.
Once inside the common room Draco pulled Pansy over to one of the rather luxurious black leather sofas. Luckily for them the common room was empty. He lounged across the whole sofa while Pansy took a seat on the arm rest and as if nothing was wrong Draco quickly fell into his normal routine. He placed his head on Pansy's leg and she began playing with his hair, this always relaxed him.
Just as they had gotten comfortable Crabbe and Goyle stumbled through the door arms filled with all the left over cake. They took the two arm chairs that were placed in front of the sofa and continued to stuff their faces. This was perfect for Draco as it meant he had a few minutes to clear his mind before he had to worry about creating a meaningless conversation.
Draco lay there sprawled across the sofa doing nothing more than listening to the occasional grunt Crabbe and Goyle let out as they ate and relaxing to Pansy running her fingers through his hair.
This didn't last long as soon enough an image snapped into his mind and it was no longer Pansy playing with his hair but Hermione, with this image in his mind he closed his eyes and snuggled deeper into the sofa with no intention of letting this fantasy stop.
Crabbe and Goyle were no longer there and it was just him and Hermione listening to the fire crackling.
He stopped for a moment a felt the fingers work their way through his hair again.
"You gunna eat that last cake?" Crabbe questioned Goyle. Draco came crashing back to reality once again as his thoughts had been stopped in their tracks. Draco sat bolt upright almost causing Pansy to fall on to the floor and making Goyle choke on his mouthful of cake.
"You blubbering idiots, do you not feel sick yet? All I hear out of you two day and night is about food, it makes me feel fat just listening to you talk about it" Crabbe let out a small gasp. "I've had enough of it. Have you not got more to worry about then who is going to eat the last cake 'cause I sure as hell have!" Draco could have raged on all night, it was bad enough that he couldn't have what he truly wanted but now he couldn't even think about what he wanted without being interrupted.
Although at the end of his tether he managed not to let anything more slip out of his mouth. This new infatuation with Hermione Granger was going to give him some serious grief, he had already started becoming short tempered with his friends because they wouldn't allow him to think about her and he was also using Pansy to fuel his imagination.
"Steady on mate, there was no need for that. I'm going to bed, you're clearly not in the mood for anything other than being incredibly self absorbed." And with that Crabbe threw a rather nasty look at Draco before skulking off to bed.
"That was below the belt, even for you…" Goyle muttered as if he didn't quite have the confidence to stand up to Draco and with that he also left for the boys dorms.
Draco sank into the sofa he knew that he should apologize after all it was out of order, but what he had said was true and also he felt there was something slightly demoralizing about the word 'sorry' and he never used it unless it was to his father! He decided he would leave it until the morning and then carry on as if nothing had ever been said.
Pansy sat there not quite sure what to do, this was situation she felt herself being dragged and pulled in more and more. She wanted to be stay with Draco but he was always in a foul mood and sometimes took it out on her. If she said something he didn't like he would snap at her but if she left him alone he would complain about that too. Really she felt as though she was in a loose, loose situation. This was so hard for her, she wanted to be there to help but he never told her what was wrong! It always appeared his mind was elsewhere. As Pansy sat there perching on the arm of the sofa half ready to leave but not quite being able to move herself from that spot, she felt a slight prickling in her eyes Draco was dragging her down and it wasn't fair. She wouldn't cry in front of him that was for sure but that didn't mean she wouldn't tell him how exactly she felt if he didn't change and soon.
A few minutes past with the two sat in silence and then Draco slid over to the arm of the sofa and pulled Pansy down of the arm and onto his lap. This took her by surprise he hadn't shown her much affection for weeks, what had brought this on? Maybe Crabbe and Goyle's honesty had made him see how he was being. She didn't react to him though and just sat there on his lap not even looking at him, he needed to realize that he couldn't just turn things on and off when he was in the mood.
"Look, I'm sorry I know I've been a moron to you it's just I have things on my mind. Things I can't share with you and I'm sorry for that and I won't make you suffer any more. If things don't go back to normal I promise you can shout and scream and kick and punch me as much as you like until I change" Draco said all of this with complete honesty and a small smile had crept across Pansy face, phew that meant he was forgiven. He didn't want to lose his friends and girlfriend because he couldn't keep his mind off a mudblood.
He moved Pansy's hair behind her shoulder and kissed her neck once. She turned so they were almost straddling and placed her hands on his neck and looked him straight in the eyes. He was hiding something and she could see it as clearly as if it was written across his forehead. She ignored this though as it was obviously something he couldn't talk about, probably something to do with his family.
She kissed him passionately and he went along with it once again, moving his hands up to cup her cheek and then moving her hair out her face and running his hands down to the bottom of her hair. She continued to caress his neck and he let his hands trace down the center of her spine and back up again. Draco pulled back and then kissed her lightly a few times before drawing her into and embrace, he had to stop himself letting things go any further tonight. Pansy although was happy enough with the affection she had received. He saw this and realized he really must have been treating her bad for her to be happy with a quick kiss.
Although Pansy was happy Draco felt terrible, worse than he had felt just after the argument with Crabbe and Goyle. He didn't want to have to stop things going any further tonight but it wasn't because he wanted more of Pansy, he realised deep down it was because he craved Hermione. All he could think about while she kissed him was Hermione, he had got so wrapped up in the moment he had even imagined it was Hermione he was with. He couldn't continue to kiss his girlfriend while the whole time thinking about another girl, it was just twisted and went completely against his old fashioned values. Shit! How far was this addiction going to take him?
Pansy let go of him and looked into his eyes once again, he was still keeping a secret from her. She decided not to dwell on it, he seemed to be pulling himself together now so she kissed him goodnight before leaving to go to bed thinking her relationship with him was going to be fine. As tired as he was Draco stayed on the sofa until the early hours of the morning not caring if he suffered for it tomorrow. He spent half the time he was awake thinking about Hermione and the other half of the time beating himself up over his one track mind; everything that happened somehow led him to think about her and it was wrong.
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A/N: Review, Review, Review. Don't worry about offending; everyone is entitled to their opinions. It would be really helpful to know what everyone thinks. Thanks. Crystal. Xxx
