So basically, this is a crossover between iCarly and Victorious. The iCarly gang is sitting in front of Hollywood Arts after an autograph signing.

SAM: (Checking her phone) So, Carls. How crazy were those fans in there?

CARLY: Uh, like, insane! I didn't think I would make it outta there alive.

FREDDIE: Yeah, those kids really love their iCarly. This has gotta be the hugest signing we've ever done.

SAM: (Puts down her phone and slaps the table) I know, right? (Sighs) I enjoy our life.

CARLY: Yeah. But what about that one crazy girl who kept trying to eat my hair?

SAM: (Disgustedly) Oh. Yeah.

FREDDIE: (Incredulously) Who was she WITH?

CARLY: (Laughs) The Looney Parade. Ha ha.

(Sam and Freddie stare at her)

SAM: That wasn't…good.

FREDDIE: No.

GIBBY: (Stands up) I'm gonna go swim in the fountain. (Takes shirt off and hands it to Freddie) Hold my shirt.

(Everyone stares after him like "wth")

FREDDIE: Ew. (Drops shirt)

SAM: That is one messed up kid. (pause) I need a fat-shake. (Sits there)

CARLY: Well, go get one.

SAM: Nah, too lazy. Freddie. Go get me a fat-shake.

FREDDIE: No!

SAM: Nubb. (Looks around) Well, I'm not about to tire out MY legs to get it. (Sees Cat) Score. Mama found me a dipwad to push around. (Stands up and walks over to Cat, who is twisting her hair and humming happily)

SAM: Hey. You.

CAT: (Turns around and smiles) Oh, hi! …I was humming.

(Pause)

SAM: …Good for you. Look, chick. I need a favor.

CAT: (Frowns) Ooh, sorry. My therapist says to never do favors for strangers. (Gasps) OMG, stranger! (Starts to run, but Sam stops her by pulling her arm)

SAM: Ah, calm your chizz.

CAT: (Freaking out) Ah! Physical contact! (Pulls out a can of spray and uses it on Sam's eyes)

SAM: (Grabs face) AHHH! My eyes! You dipwad!

CAT: I'm sorry! B-but you're a stranger and I—

SAM: Shut up already! (Rubs eyes) Ah…it burns. What IS this?

CAT: It's a repellent. It's strong enough to stop a man or a medium-sized bear. (Laughs) Safety first!

SAM: Ugh, you little…(pause) Wait, could you hook me up with some of this stuff?

CAT: Sure! Hah, my dad has this friend who works for this man who's friends with my uncle who carries it in Switzerland. Yay, Switzerland!

SAM: (Not caring) Yeah, yay for them. Now look, go get me a fat-shake. Extra fat, extra shake. Go.

CAT: OMG, yay! Something to take my mind off of the rabid squirrel chewing on my pillow this morning! (Runs off)

SAM: …What?