AN: This is Edward's thoughts the night he realized he was in love with Bella, it's among the first nights he spends watching over her as she sleeps.
Those chocolate eyes had haunted me for days, as had her scent.
Her mouthwatering scent.
What was the use of my practice if I could throw it all away for this silly little girl?!
Where was the justice in letting me believe I was a civilized monster, only to let her break every rule I had ever lived by?
She was a horrid, devilish little thing, and the most beautiful stunning creature I'd ever seen.
Those first few moments in that little warm lab had proven to me how hard it was to resist the temptation that slept only a few feet from me now.
That hid behind her hair, peering at me with those wide eyes.
Like a child's, only she was so much more.
No child held my heart, my fascination, my desire.
Her fragile figure moved, I felt my entire body freeze, waiting for her movement.
Her tiny hands grabbed at her blanket, pulling it closer as she mumbled more words about the green here.
I stared at her, waiting to see her move again.
Her only movements however were the slow easy sounds of her breathing, the slowed thumping of her heart.
Could Alice be right? Could this heavenly creature be meant to love a monster like myself?
Could the vision of her in white, standing before me, wearing the ring be real?
The thoughts that we had shared gathered inside me, pleasing the monster, in so many more ways than the one that I believed it truly wanted.
Ah, but the anguish this would cause! To take her from her safe world, to make her stone like me.
Could a creature like me truly be this horrific?
As she stirred again my answer came to me.
It was in her movements, and it was yes.
To have her, no matter the cost to myself, I would pay it.
Gladly.
But would she ask for this? Would she ask to live soulless as we did?
Even if for love?
I sat watching her, the question tearing my heart, my mind apart.
This I had no answer to, not even in her mind, for I could not hear her thoughts!
The only one's who really mattered to me; I was banished from her mind, as if in punishment.
How fitting it really was.
She began to stir again and I felt my entire being shift all attention back to, wanting to comfort her back into a peaceful sleep.
"Mmmhmm...Edward..." She sighed and rolled over again.
I sat in shock, her words left me breathless.
No matter that I hadn't needed to breath in a hundred years, this breathless was more than physical.
The war that my mind and heart had wadged on each other was suddenly stopped, the peace I'd once found restored ten fold.
Her voice, though filled with sleep, was filled with another emotion, one that I'd heard no other speak to me.
The vision, no matter the rules and ethics of mine it broke, was of her choice as well.
I had mistaken an angel for a devil before.
But tonight, as I sit here, watching this creature sleep, I knew what I had been given.
I knew that I could ignore her no longer.