Disclaimer: Characters are property of Tim Kring.
Spoilers: Up to 1x21.
Warning: INCEST!… clean, because there's not even a kiss in it, but still incest. And it's not even Petrellicest… although, now I think of it, it actually is.
Pairing: One-sided Claire/Peter.
Prompt: 30. Hell. Written for heroes50.
Summary: She knows what she's feeling is wrong. She knows that if there's a hell, she's going down straight to it. She just couldn't care less. One-sided Claire/Peter. CANON
The road to hell
She never asked for any of this.
All she ever wanted was what any other sixteen-year-old girl took for granted: normalcy. Hanging out with her friends, going to parties, leading the cherleaders squad, becoming Homecoming Queen. She wanted endless conversations on the phone, whispered secrets in the dark, a true friend to rely on. She wanted a family she felt like she belonged to, without question, without the shadow of a doubt.
She wanted a boyfriend too. Perhaps a member of the football team, perhaps not. Perhaps a year or two older than her or perhaps someone in her class. He would be cute, but above everything else he would be kind and charming. His smile would be bright and warm and he would make her laugh so hard her ribs would hurt. He would take her by the hand and whisper sweet things in her ear that would make her go weak at the knees and smile like an idiot. She wanted to spend endless summer afternoons with her head on his shoulder, his fingers tangled in her hair, warm lips against hers. She wanted to feel content and happy and safe. She wanted normalcy.
Life had the most freakishly twisted humor sense ever.
She did become Homecoming Queen – at a price. She still has nightmares in which she sees Jackie, rivers of scarlet blood running down her face, her scalp missing. Jackie is alive, though, and her eyes are reproachful. It was you he was after, not me. Why did I die? Why did you rob me my life?
And then Jackie stretches her arms to grab her, and she tries to run but she can't…
She always wakes up with a scream.
It's strange, but she still misses Jackie, even though they were no longer friends by the time she died. Jackie was her oldest friend and a part of her can't believe they'll no longer have those long phone conversations that drove her mother mad when the bill came.
She misses Zach more, though. He was the first real friend she ever had, the only one who accepted her as she was. He had been nice and attentive, always ready to lend her a hand. To think she had to leave him without even saying goodbye hurts more than she can say.
It hurts even more to think of her family and that she may never see them again. She doesn't want to believe it, she tells herself this will blow over, that she'll return home soon. But at night, when shadows surround her and the world seems lost in darkness, a little voice in her head points out that her home has exploded and that this, whatever it is, is not going to go away overnight.
All she ever asked for were the things any other sixteen-year-old girl could have. Good grades at school, a bunch of friends to hang out and laugh with, a loving family she'd belong to and a gentle boy she'd fall in love with. It never occurred to her tha tit was too much to ask, but life (she refuses to think in destiny, she's had enough of it as it is) has managed to twist her plans and dreams.
Her oldest friend was murdered, her best friend doesn't have a clue why she left, she might never see her family again and she can very well forget about school. Not to mention that a radiactive psycho blew up her home, her DNA is completely skewed and her biological family did not turn out to be quite what she'd expected. And to top it all, half of New York might be gone by the end of the week. No, things did not turn out at all like she'd asked.
In midst of all the chaos her life has turned into, though, only one of her dreams became true, just not quite in the way she hoped.
She has found, much to her surprise, someone that can make her feel safe. Someone whose eyes are so kind she can feel their warmth spreading over her skin, calming her troubled heart. Someone who believes in her , like no one else has before, someone who cares.
When she's with him, she doesn't feel afraid. He tells her they'll win the fight and she believes him, because his tone is sincere and she can see his soul in his eyes. When she's with him shadows seem to dissipate, the cold inside her melts. Because just one of his smiles can lit up a room, because his voice is sweet and his words gentle, because he wears his heart on his sleeve and it's just beautiful.
Her breath catches, her knees tremble and a thousand fireworks seem to explode in her veins at the sight of him, and it would be all very romantic and wonderful if it weren't for the fact that he is not a boy, but a man, and kissing him would not only be illegal but also probably morally wrong and most certainly a sin.
She tells herself that it's because he saved her. She tells herself that her feelings are a hero-worship thing, that they'll soon vanish. But that doesn't stop her heart from beating twice as fast when he puts his arms around her, that doesn't stop the butterflies inside her when she feels his warm cheek pressed against her head, that doesn't stop her skin from burning when his fingers caress her hair. He whispers words of comfort in her ear and she would like the world around them to vanish. She would like to stop time in this instant, she would like to remain always in his arms, where she doesn't have to worry over her family and nuclear explosions blasting New York from the face of Earth.
She knows what she's feeling is wrong. She knows that if there's a hell, she's going down straight to it.
She just couldn't care less.
Because all she can think of now is kissing his lips, all she can do is hold him tight, all she longs for is to be the one who can push that strand of dark hair behind his ear and get lost in his tender eyes.
But she can't.
It's not allowed and there are certain lines she would never dare to cross. He might be holding her in his arms now, his lips might graze her forehead softly, his hands might pat her head… but she knows her feelings are not returned. She knows he looks at her like a child, a brave and strong child that might have the power to save them all, but still a child. She knows he would be shocked if he guessed what's going in her mind right now. Her feelings are neither the platonic kind a friend has for another, nor the chaste love for a family member. But he can never know.
With her face buried in his chest, she inhales deeply to feel his scent one last time, then very slowly lets go. She looks up and his eyes are so full of trust and hope that her breath catches. She doesn't let it show, though, and takes a step back, letting go of his arms. He looks at her expectantly, as though she held the key to unveil the mysteries of the universe.
'Will you do it, then?'
She takes a deep breath and nods, because that's what he wants from her. He gives her a smile so bright, so warm that she can't but smile in return, even though her heart is breaking into a million pieces.
'Thank you, Claire.'
He gives her one last, quick hug before walking away. She watches him go, the man who is everything she ever dreamed of and she'll never have. A man who is kind and strong, brave and sincere, a man who has such faith in her that he's just asked her to kill him.
She never asked for any of this.