No One Is Innocent
By: Tropicwhale
Disclaimer: Not mine. Why would I want it when it's owners won't take care of them properly.
Dedicated to: Myself, for thinking up a plot in a week.
Warning: A little smut, bad language. Turn back now if not your thing
Author Notes: To all my readers from "Meetings in Sewers" who I told that I wouldn't have a sequel out until the winter break; I lied. Sorry, but not really. The story title is a Sex Pistols song, they'd probably wouldn't like me using it but fuck them and the dead horse that they flog. Cheers!
Chapter One:
Comings on Cruises
Our naked bodies were pressed together on the somewhat narrow bed, his heavy breath was hot on my ear and neck. I don't need to breathe but even so clutched at his hair, his arms, his back; anywhere that I could as he moved above and in me. We climaxed within minutes of each other but if I were to be asked I wouldn't be able to tell who came first. After we disconnected we laid there slick with (mostly his) body fluids he was the first to speak. "Wow." I nod, stroking his hair and staring up at the ceiling. The sun was setting outside the curtained porthole and the quiet we were in was rend by a blast of the boat horn. We were arriving in New York. "Why is sex with you always amazing?" I grin, I just have to.
"Because I'm amazing." A hand slapped down on my thigh. I laugh because he chose to remain inert versus playing the annoyed boyfriend and just continued to drape himself on top of me, pinning me to the bed. "Oi! Are you inferring with physical violence that I'm not amazing? Or are you just trying to start something fun? Because if you are then you're going to have to spank me harder then that."
"No. On all accounts. You're amazing, you just need a lesson in humility . . .or twenty."
"You sound like Angelus but with more compliments and less physical torture."
"Ah, bite me Spike." He grouses into my shoulder.
"Kay." My face shifts and I lunge for his neck. He sits up so sharply that he falls off the bed and I lose the convenient warmth of a living body as a blanket.
"Stop that. I meant figuratively." I pout at the loss of body heat and neck cleavage.
"Should never joke about biting around vampires, Xander, we tend to take it very seriously." He ignores me to take a peek out of the porthole.
"What time is our train?"
"Not for awhile. We've plenty of time." I was gifted with an one-eyed glare from my lover."
"You know, you said that what we left Paris and we damn near missed our flight to London."
"That was a one off-"
"And you said it again in London and we damn near missed the cruise ship."
"Yeah, well-"
"And then there was Beledia's surprise birthday party-"
"Okay but-"
"And then there was-"
"Alright! I get it! You made your point!" I scowl at him, digging my fingertips into his hips as he straddled me. "It's at nine. We'll be in Baltimore by eleven, eleven-thirty tops."
"Oh. Then we have plenty of time." I slap his ass hard. "Ow!" he yelped.
"That's what I just said, you insufferable git." He giggled. That twit giggled at me!
"Yeah, but you still love me."
"Yeah I love you. Heavens knows why I would love you of all people but I do."
"I know why you love me."
"I swear if you say something stupid like 'Because I'm adorable' or 'Because I love you' I will kick your ass from New York to Baltimore on foot."
"Okay then, I won't tell you." He leans in and kisses me. I grin in appreciation and slide my hands up to his sides as his hands grab my hips. He bites at my lips and I kiss back, deepening the contact by arching my back and opening my mouth. But I can't get into the action. I have to pull back.
"Alright I give. Why do I love you?" Xander cracks up. He sits up and looks down at me.
"You know that since we've started this thing you have become so easy to rag on."
"Oh shut it. You know that is what I'm talking about. You're utterly implausible."
"Hey, no using multi-syllable words I don't understand." I snorted at his stupidity.
"That's precisely why I use them, you dolt."
"Huh?" Oh, I got me an intelligent one didn't I?
"I mean why do I love you? You're completely . . .you!"
"Geez Spike, know how to win a guy over, don't ya?"
"You know what I mean. You're all shiny, white knight and I'm all underdog, stalker vamp. It doesn't make sense that we're together."
"You love me because we fit together. We work, somehow, and that's all that matters." I snort again in agitation.
"Is that all this is, though? Convenience? Familiarity? I was kinda hoping that it was something more than that."
"I don't know, baby, it's whatever you want it to be."
"Oi! That is an answer you give a girl and you called me baby. Those are so against the rules."
"Okay, one? You call me 'luv' all the time-"
"That doesn't count. I'm British. We call everyone 'luv'. Bloody hell, in Yorkshire it's common to call someone 'cock'."
"Well, you Brits are weird and you were acting like a girl."
"Are not and was not!"
"Are and were too!"
"Are not and was not!"
"Are so and were too!"
"Wait, are we having two fights at once?" We pause, looking into each other's faces.
"We are, aren't we?"
"Yeah." We make eye contact and burst out laughing. "We are quite the pair."
"We are. God, who else would have two fights about nationalities and 'The Relationship Talk' at the same time?"
"Old people."
"We're not old, we should stop."
"Speak for yourself, Xan, my 150th birthday is coming up."
"Really? When?"
"About two weeks."
"You're not going to tell me are you?" I sigh.
"It's August 21nd." And I'm suddenly miss my mum. You know the mum she was before I turned her and she tried to fuck me and I was forced to stake her . . . in the heart, you freaks! YEUGH! She was my mother! You lot are twisted you are. And now I want my smokes for ambiance. Dammit, I'm trying to quit here.
"You're a Virgo! William the Bloody Virgin." As well as Bloody Awful Poet, among others. People are and were and always will be cruel.
"Yes, I'm a Virgo. And, unless you hadn't noticed while you had your dick up my ass, not a virgin. Technically, I'm a Virgo/Leo cusp which means I get qualities from both astrological houses."
"So you're sweet and conscientious but fierce and brave. Yep, that fits."
"I'm sweet, huh?"
"A sweet, brave piece of ass, yes."
"Brave piece of ass?"
"A sweet, brave piece of ass, huh-uh."
"You know your ass would be braver too if you let me top on occasion." He flinched. "No pressure or anything."
"If you remember you bottomed out the first time so it's all on you, buster. "
"And if I realized that it would be a permanent position I would not have done it. I would have flipped you over and plowed you like a field."
"Oh please like you-whoa!" I flip our positions easily and end up straddling him.
"You were saying, Harris?"
"Spike, did you pack everything?" That's what I thought.
"Yeah."
"Are we going to the farewell dinner?"
"No, don't got the time for it. We'll eat on the train."
"Can we at least take a lobster to go? I'll miss vacation food." I grin down at him.
"Yeah, I think I can swing that for you."
"Best boyfriend ever. You're getting a shirt."
"And I'll use it to bleach my roots."
"Oh please. You so go to a salon."
"Having professionals do your hair is no crime Mr. I'll-just-let-Alex-cut-my-hair-before-we-leave-to-save-money Harris."
"Yeah, yeah, whatever."
"What happened?"
"Hey, the cruise salon comp-ed my haircut. Upside!"
"Because the hack job Alex gave you was making the other passengers seasick."
"You know what? You're a mean boyfriend."
"I thought I was the best boyfriend ever?"
"You can be both. Now, get dressed and get me a lobster. I'll meet you on deck." He bucked under me trying to get me up. I rode the motion. It was a fun little ride.
"You sure you don't want to start something a little more fun?"
"I need protein." I grab my dick and give him a lewd smirk.
"Got your protein right here."
"Not nearly as tasty." Oh, that little-
"Fuck me, Harris."
"On the train. I want lobster first." Dog with a bone. Rather he'd be a horn-dog with a boner but I work with what I got. I sigh and make a big deal about getting up.
"Fine. The things I do to make you happy." He wiggles happily on the bed. I pull on my pants and grab my shoes and a shirt.
"And most of them are still illegal in 13 states plus Spain!" I leave him laying on the bed and go to get his lobster still trying to figure out why I'm with someone with such a warped mind. But then I remember I'm just as warped and hurry to go get his lobster, the big spoiled brat. If anyone says I'm whipped I'll rip their vitals out and use their empty chest cavities as serving dishes.
Author After Notes: And so it starts.
Loving readers that review at a friendly distance;
Tropicwhale