Die sat down. That concert and worn him out. He pulled out a cigarette and stuck it in his mouth. He reached around for his lighter but couldn't find it. 'Damn' He thought. "Hey Kyo! Can I borrow your lighter?"
Kyo sighed, just as spent from the concert as Die was. How couldn't he be, when the vocalist is usually the one running around and hurting himself on stage? "Fine." He murmured as he yanked out his lighter and tossed it at Die. He returned into the bathroom while dressing his self-inflicted wounds. He reached up for a cabinet to get some bandages, when he found he couldn't reach it. "Shit the fuck!" He moaned loudly as he continued to reach with little success.
Die laughed and got up. Being the tallest of the group he was used to helping Kyo reach stuff. "Whats wrong, shorty? Cant reach?" He teased as he walked over. He reached up and got down the bandages. His skin brushed against Kyo's back, as his shirt was open. He shivered. Ever since falling in love with Shinya and finding out he was a boy, he hadn't been quite the same.
Kyo punched Die in the back out of frustration. "Shut up." He pouted, and hastily took the bandages and began to dress the wounds across his chest. "Shit!" He cursed as soon as the cold bandage touched the raw flesh. Normally, one would need an alcohol or chemical of some sort to reduce the chance of infection, but Kyo wasn't so talented in that area. He tried to wrap the bandage around the rest of his back, but found again that he couldn't reach. He huffed angrily. He couldn't do anything by himself!
Die almost fell over laughing. Biting his tongue to stop laughing he handed Kyo a cigarette. "You need it more than I do." He lit it and began helping Kyo dress his wounds. They weren't too deep. He reached up and got A bottle of beer someone hadn't finished. He poured it over the wounds. "I'm sorry, but you know this is gonna hurt." He began to wrap the more serious injuries, the ones that could be fatal.
Kyo screamed a high-pitch squeal by pure accident. His face went red and he subconsciously clamped his hands over his mouth, narrowing his eyes in self frustration and 'if you laugh I'll kill you' attitude. He took a long drag from the cig, hoping that the smoke would calm his oddly aroused nerves. He always loved to watch the smoke as it floated up from his mouth, just because it was so translucent and wispy. He stared at it with a blank, almost mystified stare. He hoped Die wasn't looking, because his blank face looked a bit silly.
Die couldn't help but laugh a little. Kyo's squeals were adorable, but Kyo wasn't going to accept that. He continued dressing the wounds. Most of them where on his arms and torso, but a few where on his legs and one on his face. When he had finished, he got up and smiled at the look on Kyo's face. He got up and walked over to Shinya to tease and annoy him some more before the band got off the good note of a successful concert. They definitely had more fans this time. The house was packed and their were so many on their way to the bus they were renting for their tour that they had to call in the police. He laughed as he remembered one little girl had called Kyo a teddy bear. She had shouted out for everyone to hear: "Kyo, You will always be my little teddy bear!" The look on Kyo's face was priceless.
Kyo sighed again and walked away from Die, forgetting to thank him. He was incredibly exhausted. Without uttering a single word, he sat against a wall and fell asleep. He was infamous for sleeping anywhere at all, but a certain phobia he kept secret wouldn't help. He stirred to feeling something crawling on the tip of his finger. He slowly woke up, only to see that he was right next to 5 intimidating, sickening, and horrifying yellow jackets. Now his fear of bugs had its cover blown off. In a confused and half-minded panic, he screeched and took off. The bugs weren't pleased with the disturbance. They took off after Kyo, who at this point, was horrified.
Die fell over laughing. He got up, still chuckling and got the flyswatter. He manged to kill all but one of the bugs, which Kaoru killed. He then fell over laughing and couldn't stop. He was laughing so hard that tears were streaming down his face.
Kyo scowled at Die with a scowl that contained more evil than ever. He landed a hard kick in Die's ribs with the same pointed leather boot he had on during the concert, but he wasn't satisfied. He kicked at Die about five more times before stomping off to his room and locking the door.
Die stopped laughing. He had heard a snap. His rib had broken. 'DAMN IT'. The pain was emerging. He sat down, and realized that he was bleeding. Kyo had broken his rib and pierced his skin. The broken rib had punctured his lung. He started to cough up blood.
Kyo heard Die coughing, but was in too much of a pissy mood to realize how fatal it really was. That is, until he heard the other band members screaming and calling for 911. He stood up and rushed out of the room, but he could only watch Die from behind a corner. He felt like he couldn't face him, or anyone. He wanted to bury himself away because he felt so ashamed, but he couldn't pull himself away from the awful sight of Die choking on himself. It was like a bad car accident. You couldn't turn away from it, but in the end you wish you hadn't seen it.
Die felt the panic rise with the pain. the blood was everywhere. His hands were so soaked that he couldn't see an inch of white skin. He felt himself beginning to lose consciousness from the lack of blood. He struggled. He couldn't close his eyes now. He had to get up. Slowly he got up and walked over toward the bandages on the other side of the room. The others protested and tried to stop him, but he went on. He made it to the middle of the room and fell, a few feet away from Kyo.
Kyo froze. He didn't know what to do. All he could do was stand there and look at the horrible thing that he had done. He couldn't turn away, until one of the other members grabbed him and shouted at him of how much of a horrible thing he did.
Die was flickering. He heard yelling. It was giving him a headache. "Stop yelling." He said quietly. He began to slip. He las thought was 'Great, we are going to miss that concert tomorrow.' Everything went black.
Kyo backed up a little, while the wailing sound of ambulance sirens engulfed the atmosphere. Soon, paramedics rushed in, placed Die on a stretcher, and ran him into the ambulance while the rest of the band members rushed alongside him. Kyo didn't go with him, however. He knew as soon as Die woke up, he would have incredible hate for Kyo. So he knew it was best to stay back.
Die's head hurt. His chest hurt. Hell, his whole body hurt. He opened his eyes and there was a flash of light. He looked around. Everyone was there, and asleep. Everyone but Kyo. Toshiya was the first to wake up. He woke up everyone else. Kaoru walked over. "How are you feeling?" He asked. "Like I have just been run over by a semi. Where the hell is Kyo?" "He said he couldn't come. I think he is really upset about hurting you." "Get the damned bastard in here and everyone else get out." Die said angrily. He was going to show that asshole just what he thought of him. Shinya got Kyo and everyone else got out. The door shut and they were alone.
Kyo couldn't look Die in the eye. "I'm so sorry. I'm a horrible person. I can't believe I'd do such a thing. We do these things all the time, I never would have thought it could be fatal..." Kyo tried to keep himself together. He couldn't break down here and now. His voice quivered, but he didn't continue speaking. He was horrified of how angry or upset Die would be at him.
Die motion for Kyo to come closer. When Kyo was right next to him, he grabbed him and kissed him. "Damn you." He kissed him again. "Damn the day I started to like you." He kissed him so hard that his chest started to hurt. He finally had to lay back down. He watched to see what Kyo would do.
Kyo was taken back all of a sudden. Die loved him? And then he hurt him? He was so confused, but at the same time so uplifted, but at the same time so angry at himself and guilty. "I'm so sorry... once you're well, you can do whatever you want to me. You can have me." Kyo promised. He didn't know what else to say...
Die got pissed. "DUMBASS!!! I don't want you if the only reason your gonna give yourself to me is because you feel guilty." He gave him a look and laid down. He had over done himself. His chest hadn't healed. "How long have I been.....?"
"5 days, Die." Kyo said as his voice broke off at the end of the sentence. "5 of the worst days of my life..." He found himself gazing at Die again, but not in any way on purpose. He just wanted to see him alive, because he was almost so sure that Die would be dead because of his actions.
Die looked up, lost in thought. "5 days. Wow." He thought for a moment and then turned his head to look at Kyo. "It is my fault too, you know. If I hadn't pushed you like that....." He sighed. "But there is no use talking about the what ifs, should haves, and could haves." He smiled. "I take it that you missed me." He laughed..... not a smart idea. He grimaced in pain.
Kyo's brows knitted as his inner nurse came out. "Die-kun, don't push yourself." He said soothingly. "And yes, I did miss you. Terribly." He fixed the covers around Die's form and pulled up a chair next to him. "If there's anything you need, just give me the word."
Die looked at him. This was not a side of Kyo he had seen before. His eyebrow went up. "Die-kun? I must be worse than I thought. When is my funeral?"
Kyo blushed. "Sorry." He murmured. "Are you sure there's nothing you need?" He asked again.
Die looked at him, then quickly looked away. He did not want Kyo to see what was on his mind on his face. "Nothing" He said, "but all the same I want you to stay in here. To make up for the 5 days you missed. Tell the guys they can have a night off. I doubt they have left this room in that time." He smiled.
Kyo nodded and smiled. "I'll be sure to. Don't worry, you didn't miss anything. Except for when Shinya tried to cook and nearly set the house on fire." He laughed a little.
Die almost laughed, but stopped himself. "Wow." He smiled. He had already begun to slip off. Slowly he said. "Kyo, I love you." And faded. The beeping of his heart monitor slowed and stopped. Apparently, The doctors hadn't knows that another rib had been broken, and it had damaged Die's heart. Just one more cut to add to the thousands Kyo and others had put there.
Kyo clamped his hands over his mouth and nearly threw up. He backed up against the wall, his breath coming in quick and short gasps. He couldn't believe what he had done. He was so... scared. Of himself. It wasn't long before he fell to his knees, shrieking Die's name and trembling uncontrollably.
The doctors had to restrain him and pull him out of the room. They tried to restart Die's heart, but it didn't work. After months of court debates, it was decided that Kyo was innocent and that he hadn't meant to kill Die. He was free to go. The band decided to keep him, as he was to depressed to be alone. He would still sing, as long as it was a depressing song. Surprisingly the fans loved this and their ratings went through the roof. They had the perfect life........ well some what.
Every day was like torture for Kyo. At least once every week, he would have tried to overdose on his anti-depressants and somebody would have to stop him, and most of the time, it was Shinya. Kyo hardly talked to anybody now. He had become surprisingly thinner, too. Whenever the band would eat, Kyo always insisted on taking his food into his own room, where barely ate any of it or sometimes didn't even eat at all and just disposed of it. He slept nearly all day. His hair was starting to lose it's once vibrant color.
The band members grew more and more worried. Shinya decided it was time to tell him his secret. He walked into Kyo's room. "Kyo I can't stand to see you do this to yourself anymore. I love you Kyo. You aren't completely responsible for Die's death."
Kyo clenched his fist. "Not completely killing him doesn't necessarily give me a clean slate." He murmured. "He died along with a part of me, Shinya. I can't go back. I'm sorry, but...."
Shinya looked down. "You did him a favor. I was going to kill him. I laced his cigarette's with a slow working poison. He probably would have been experiencing the symptoms in a few days. That way we could get our use out of him before he was killed. I forgot to tell the rest of the band. I hope no one smoked with him before he died."
Kyo's eyes widened. "Shinya... I smoked one of his cigarettes! Oh my God, you son of a bitch! You mother fucker! How could you!?" Kyo was hysterical at this point. He started screaming as he fell to the floor, having probably one of the worst mental breakdowns filled with anger and mourning he had yet.
Shinya stopped. If Kyo had smoked one of the cigarettes. He was shorter and weighed much less he would be feeling the symptoms in a matter of hours. "I'm so sorry Kyo!!! I didn't know!!! We were gonna kill Die because he was racking up expenses and he knew too much to be kicked out of the band." He did know that it was too late to give Kyo the cure. He decided that he had to run. "I'm sorry my love," he said and ran.
Kyo collapsed on the floor and cried, and cried, and cried. His screams could literally heard from a neighbor's house. His agonized sobs and shrieks were heart-wrenching to hear. Through all of the pain he went through, he didn't want to die. Not yet. He wanted to be able to have another chance at living, but now it was all over.
Death came. Three days and a lot of pain later. His spirit rose and he saw something in the distance, faintly human shaped.
Kyo wandered around confusedly, waiting for something to happen. Waiting for somebody to reach out to him. He didn't know what was going on. he was still scared.
A hand reached for him. He had a choice. He could go with the stranger in the distance and wander the earth forever or he could go to have his soul weighed and go where he was supposed to go: Heaven or Hell.
Kyo gripped his head and fell to his knees. "I don't know! I don't know! Who is it out there!? Please, just reveal yourself!" He was still so horrified. "Just say something so I'll know who you are!"
The stranger said nothing. The choice was imminent. He had to choose or it would be made for him. The hand death was on his shoulder, ready to lead him in either direction.
Kyo attempted to gather himself and in one desperate move, he latched his entire body around the hand he saw, quietly begging it to take him somewhere safe, where he wouldn't be scared.
The hand led him to the stranger whose face still couldn't be seen. He looked down on him and then walked on. Obviously wanting Kyo to follow him.
Kyo was a mess as soon as he arrived to see the stranger. He followed him, while still trembling and murmuring constant pleas of how he didn't want to be hurt and he didn't want to be scared, but he kept on going.
The stranger led him to a room. Kyo walk through the door and he was immediately in a hospital room. He knew this place................
Kyo's eyes darted around nervously. "Why are we here? What is this?" He inquired.
"We are no where and everywhere. The place both of us died... though one of us went on living" Said a voice that he knew behind him. Could it be?
"A-are you... Die? Daisuke Ando? The lead guitarist from Dir en Grey?" Kyo murmured quietly.
"Turn around and find out. Stop being so scared. What happened to the feisty little shorty you used to be?"
Kyo gasped when he heard the words uttered. He turned around and saw what he had been dying to see for so long now. "Die..." He couldn't even do anything. He wanted to tackle Die to the ground in glee with tears of joy, but he was paralyzed from shock.
"The one and only. In the ghost." He smiled. "You haven't been eating." He said accusingly. "Do you know how many times I had to warn a member of the band, without letting them know it was me, to keep you from killing yourself? It got fucking annoying at times." He smiled.
Kyo looked down, blushing. "I'm sorry... it gets so hard living without you, Die.." He murmured. "Oh! Now that we're ghosts, can we go haunt that son of a bitch Shinya? He poisoned your cigarette that we both took a drag out of. Let's cause a poltergeist!"
"First I wanna do something." He kissed him. "You don't know how many times I tried to kiss you when you where asleep. I bet you didn't feel it. I bet you didn't feel me holding you those last few days either." He looked troubled. "At least we can touch now. I was concerned about that." He wrapped his arm around Kyo's waist.
Kyo smiled the first genuine smile he had smiled in a long time. "I'm so glad I'm short.. so I can do this!" Then, he leaped into Die's arms, beaming up at him.
Die smiled and laughed. He held on to Kyo. "Now we can go torture Shinya." He said. He wrapped Kyo's arm around him and his arm around Kyo. "Together. For the rest of eternity."
Kyo grinned. "Let's make his life a living hell!" Kyo tightened his grip around Die a little bit to show both his love and enthusiasm. The Die began to fade. The walls melted. And in the distance a annoying alarm went off. He and Die reached for each other, but they were pulled hit the alarm clock and opened his eyes. It was thursday. Today Shinya was supposed to tell him about the laced cigarettes. He knew it had all been a dream. The cigarettes weren't really laced and he wasn't going to die. He got up and was depressed. He went into the band kitchen to get his breakfast to take back to his room. Just another miserable day.
Above him, Die watched and was saddened. He had sent the dream in hopes it would become a reality. It wasn't really a dream. It was a wish. He slowly went away. Kyo still lived and as long as he was alive he couldn't have him. Eventually Kyo would move on and find a new person to love and be with when he died. Die would be a distant memory. A single tear ran down his cheek a onto Kyo's pillow. Just one tear to add to the thousands already shed. One tear, one wish. One would never come true. And that sure wasn't the tear.