Well…

I came to have a good time, make friends, money, wrestle, but now? Now I honestly feel threatened. Like really. Man can't do his thing without people trying to boot his ass once fresh meat comes in.

I was here since the first season. Hell I came in fourth. I WAS THE DAMN LEADER OF 3 MAN BAND. YOU CAN'T GET MORE TUBULAR THAN THAT SHEET RIGHT THUR!

So you know when Triple H. (Otherwise know as "Villain" to the punks. The CM Punks. And "Wussy" to me. The awesome me) is telling me that he's letting me go I'm like:

"Da fuck?" (Imagine a squirrel that had his nuts stolen by a chipmonk)

Okay so maybe not exactly like that but the thought still stands.

Anywho, here's how it went down in his head:

Him: You're fired.

Me: Okay. (FACKIN' BOOL-SHIT)

(Exit Heath stage right)

And how it went down in MY head:

Him: You're fired

Me: FACKIN' BOOL-SHEET!

(Flips table)

Me: I fackin' quit! Heath out bitches!

(Exit stage left)

How it really went.

Wade Barrett: I'VE GOT SOME BAD NEWS FOR 3 MAN BAAAAANNNNDD!

Triple H.: You're fired.

Me: What?! FACKIN' BOOL-SHIT!

Music Maaaaaaaaaaaan (Mac Drewentyre): OH NO'S

(Starts crying)

Yeah. Sad isn't it?

BUT THEY CAN'T DO THAT! I NEED MY MATE WITH ME!

Trying to cancel my gimmick and succeeding. Who put Triple H. in charge anyways? Bitch's about 93. He's gonna have to give it up soon… He's not Vibrant and Young like ric flair….

i tried wrapping my head around this SHIT idea but Jinder Mahal's sobbing kept distracting me.

This idea was sooooo not sweq…

Like really. There's no sweq to be found at the moment

If I had a Sweq tracker, it'd be going out of control cause it ain't fackin' here, dude.

Guess I'll just have to cut more holes in my shirt….Time for a new Gimmick. But hey, if ya need a singer. My band broke up, soooo Gimme a ring-a-ling, poncho (TALKIN' 'BOUT YOU FLO RIDA!).

And it's all because Triple H can't BO-lieve (See what I did there?) in 3MB…

So Triple H will start pushing the BO-ver Lord of WWE and i'll have to sleep In some ratty BO-tel (I'M ON A ROLL WITH THESE)...well I'll show him! I got a BO-ne (HEYOOOOO) to pick with Bo Dallas! He's gonna have a new streak! a super duper losing one, Real talk.

Word.

Point is this is all Fackin' bool-shit.

3 MAN BAND FIVE-EVER BITCHESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

The Day the Music Died.

6/12/14

The end…

FOR NOW…

DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN