Here is a fun little oneshot I came up with when I saw Daniel Jackson in the previews for the newest season of Stargate: Universe and while I was speculating on what would happen if someone died while they were using those communication, body-switcharoo stone things. Near the end it's sort of a remake of Episode 6, Water, in Season 1 (the one where Young and Scott are trying to collect ice so they'll have water). Please do enjoy, and keep in mind that our favorite archaeologist is really, really out of character here. In fact, he sort of regressed to a five year old mentality.

Disclaimer: I do not own Stargate: Universe... so there you go.

The Adventures of Daniel Jackson

"Oh hey guys!" For months now, this phrase has haunted the crew of Destiny. It could be spoken by anyone, at any time, and everyone lived in fear as they wondered: "Who's next?" It had all started when Dr. Daniel Jackson had discovered the stones that the SGC and Destiny had been using to communicate with each other. Mostly curious, Daniel had used one of the stones himself. So there he had been, on an Ancient ship, free to explore and study the technology as long as he liked. When he discovered that he was inside a relatively high ranking officer, he started to take a few more extra liberties. He commanded a few people here and there to bring him something to eat, he would shoot at people to make them do a silly dance, and sometimes he would even sneak into the ship's main control center and start pushing random buttons.

Eventually, of course, he was arrested and thrown into Destiny's version of a brig, but by then Daniel had already caused such a mess that the ship was forced to backtrack a bit to fill up its energy reserves at the nearest star. By the time the others figured out that the person who had done all this had been Daniel Jackson, the two people had once again swapped places. Soon, everything went back to normal. Then, one quiet, seemingly boring day, the ship stopped at a planet. Eager to explore, a small part of the crew set off. While a group of scientists were setting up some sort of strange, technical device that Lt. Matthew Scott had no idea as to its purpose, one of his marines suddenly started slouching and sighing with boredom.

"Is there a problem?" he asked.

"I'm… bored!" the man shouted, attracting a few strange glances.

"Well what-"

"Oh, hey guys. Guess I should tell you this time, it's me! Daniel Jackson! I want to do something! Let's play tag!"

"I don't-"

"You're it!" Daniel shoved the lieutenant to the ground before running off, cackling madly.

Scott picked himself up and stared after the man as he disappeared into the jungle's bushy foliage. The military man quickly decided it would be a good idea to call his commanding officer, "Sir, I think we have a slight problem."

The 'slight problem', however, turned out to be much worse, as Daniel soon found himself being chased by a group of what appeared to be a hybrid between a cat and some sort of insect. Of course, Daniel decided the best course of action would be to just point at the creatures and scream. He figured that, even if he did die, he would just ascend, do something annoying, and have the ascended Ancients send him back; that, or something else would keep him from dying. Something else, did, indeed, happen. The cat/insect hybrids did end up eating him, but fortunately for Daniel (not so fortunate for the marine he had swapped with), the stones apparently swapped the people back if one of them died.

After making this discovery, Daniel realized he was pretty much invincible, and could do whatever he wanted without worrying about the repercussions, because, if he were to be thrown in jail, he could just swap with somebody else. It was after this realization that Daniel's next big adventure occurred. The ship's water supplies were beginning to run low for some unknown reason, and so it had stopped at an ice planet so that the crew could get more water. The atmosphere was poisonous to those without a protective suit, and so only Colonel Young and Lt. Scott were able to go.

This, of course, did not stop Daniel as he ran back and forth from the planet to the ship, trying to 'help' everyone at once. He drilled through the ice and went a bit too far which created a series of earthquakes; when the crew managed to lock the strange cloud of dust that had been draining their water into a storage room, Daniel let it out, claiming that he could 'totally handle it'. All of these actions ended with Daniel dying, and then returning in a new body. Suffice it to say, by the time Young and Scott were nearly finished, there were several dead bodies scattered around the ice planet and the ship's hallways. By now, though, everyone was so used to Daniel that they were very good at ignoring him. At one point, Daniel decided it would be a good idea to cover the hole he had drilled with a bit of snow.

Unfortunately, while Scott and Young were returning with the last of their ice, Scott fell through and ended up getting stuck.

All Daniel had to say about this was, "Uhoh, spaghetti-o!"

After Young had yelled at Daniel for this (and after Daniel had died from breathing in the atmosphere and then returned in a new body), Daniel decided he would help. So, he threw into the hole a long piece of rope. A rope that he forgot to hold onto, and so the item flew right past Scott and fell deeper into the hole.

"What is your problem!?" Scott shouted up at the scientist as he peeked into the hole.

"Look out! Here comes some ice!" Daniel shouted, and he suddenly began to throw the collection of ice into the hole. "Look out! Here comes the colonel's helmet!"

"What!?" Young screamed, but it was too late. Daniel had already yanked the helmet off of the man and thrown it in along with the ice.

Now being pummeled by ice (and a helmet), Scott started to lose consciousness, but not before he managed to hear Daniel shout something else: "Look out! Here comes the colonel!"

Afterwards, Daniel spent his time dueling the evil cloud of sand. He had gotten the idea after he had died throwing Young into the hole and had taken over the body of someone with a fencing sword. Daniel, of course, died several times as the cloud of dust didn't like being poked with the sword. But, that didn't stop the ever determined scientist.

As the crew's numbers began to slowly dwindle, they wondered if they would somehow get lucky enough to not swap with Daniel. Swapping with Daniel was a death sentence and was announced only by a simple, friendly greeting of, "Oh hey guys!"

So what did you think of it? Reviews are greatly appreciated, and I hand out imaginary cookies! Yum! Also, I do apologize if some of my knowledge of the show was slightly off (and by slightly off I mean dead wrong), but honestly I have a short attention span, I can't pay attention to every little thing they talk about on that show! But, this was meant to be humorous anyway so it doesn't really matter too much... right?