Disclaimer: Don't own Fire Emblem

Just so all you people know who are unfamiliar with me, italics are thoughts. If flashbacks occur or dreams, you'll figure it out. If you dislike swearing, don't read this. If you hate the idea of me changing Robin's character MASSIVELY, don't read this. He is a customizable avatar. I actually won't be deviating from the game plot a lot, if at all. I dunno yet, let's find out! I shall try to add humor throughout this fic, but I'm more the spontaneous guy who comes up with humor last minute. If you laugh, yay!

Chapter 1

Looking around there's no fear in your heart

Hmm, what's going on? Where am I? Why is it all black?

Your eyes are closed dumbass.

Thank you self. For those words of uncharted wisdom.

"Chrom, we have to do something!"

"What do you propose we do?"

Voices! Voices are good! Unless they're mean people. Mean people are mean.

"I…I don't know!"

Just open your eyes, not that hard.

He opened his eyes. "I see you're awake now," said the blue guy.

…That was brutally obvious

"Hey there!" said the girl next to him.

"There are better places to take a nap then on the ground," mister blue said, amused. "Here," he offered his hand. The man on the ground grabbed it and stood up.

The man protested, "But it was a bed of grass! It had the word bed in it, that automatically makes it comfy."

The blue haired man raised his eyebrows and the girl giggled. The man also saw a third person, head to toe in armor with a horse, who was not amused.

He quickly looked back the blue guy, who was speaking, "What's your name?"

The man hesitated, "Well, I have no idea what so ever. But, there is a name in my head, maybe it's mine. It's a cool name: Chrom. Is that my name?"

The blue guy arched his eyebrows, "That's my name. I'm Chrom, this is my sister Lissa and that's Frederick."

The man sighed in annoyance, "Then no, I don't have a clue on my name. Ooooo, maybe I get to make up my own? That'd be fun."

"You're saying you don't remember anything?" Chrom said uncertainly.

"I've heard of this! It's called amnesia!" Lissa stated certainly.

"It's called horseshit milady. How can you remember milord's name but not your own?" said Frederick, speaking for the first time.

"That's a very good question. And since I don't remember anything, I haven't the foggiest!" the amnesiac pondered.

Chrom decided to cut in, "Well, we can't just leave him here. What kind of Shepherds would we be?"

"We cannot allow a wolf astray in our flock milord."

"Does this make me your prisoner? 'Cause if it does, I'm going to run for it right now," the man said nervously.

"Nonsense. We'll establish if you're a threat when we get to Ylisse," Chrom assured him.

"What's Ylisse?" the man said curiously.

"Ha! Someone pays this fool quite well. Quite the actor, are you not?"

"Frederick please. Ylisse is the country we are currently in. The Exalt, who is the ruler, is Emmeryn," Chrom explained. "And don't mind Sir Frederick the Wary, it's his job to be suspicious."

"A title I wear with pride."

Hmm, another name! Maybe this one's mine…or maybe not. Probably not.

"Good news! I think I remember my name! Do you guys know a 'Vincent?'" he said eagerly.

When they all shook their heads, he snapped his fingers and shouted, "Great success! Well, one mystery solved. Huzzah! That clears things up a bit."

Chrom grinned slightly, "Quite excitable aren't you?"

Vincent grinned, "Why yes, that sounds right. Even familiar. Haha! Well, let's go to where ever I am being brought then!"

"Chrom look!" Lissa cried.

The company of four turned to see the nearby village, in flames.

"Dammit! Brigands! Lissa, Frederick, let's go!" Chrom swore in frustration.

Frederick turned to look at Vincent, "What about him?"

Chrom looked exasperatedly at Frederick, "Unless he's on fire too, leave him!"

"Well put milord!" Frederick went after them on his horse.

Vincent stood still for a moment. What could he do to help? Why should he even help?

Do it. Shut it and carry on.

Vincent groaned. Damn you conscience! Hmm, I wonder what we swear by here? I'll have to ask Chrom later. I don't even have any weapons!

As he said that, he looked down and saw a knife on his belt and he felt a book in his pocket. A magic tome.

"Oh this'll be fun!" he chuckled as he ran off to his newfound companions.

Vincent ducked behind a burning support beam from a nearby building. After a bit of trial and error on his way, he learned how to cast magic. Or relearned, depending how you look at it.

At least he learned how to put out the fires from the tome.

He grasped his fire tome tightly. He stood up slowly gaining his bearings. Three bandits had their backs to him. All the others were fighting Chrom and the other two. Vincent sized up his opponents without thinking. Two axe users and a mage. Take the stronger ones first, magic is easier to dodge than a giant axe. Then-

Hold it, when did I learn to think like this? …Stupid question, amnesia's a bitch!

Vincent quietly opened his tome. His experiments on the way had been of just making the magic appear, not aiming. Well…beginner's luck hopefully would help.

He stood, tome open in his hand. He read the incantation twice, memorized it and stowed the book away. He pointed his hand at the nearest of the two axe men. He felt stupid muttering the incantation.

He felt something sap out of him, as if his very strength was being used to conjure the magic. He felt slightly more tired as the small ball of flame sailed at the unsuspecting bandit.

Good to know. Magic equals tired. Tired equals sleep. Sleep equals bed. Bed equals beds of grass. Ultimately magic equals grass.

The ball of flame hit the bandit's back. He screamed and was launched about five feet in the air, while burning up in flames.

Was that supposed to happen?

The other two were equally shocked at that power. But they recovered sooner. The one with the axe began to lumber over. The mage deftly opened a tome and began reciting a spell. Vincent pulled out his knife confidently and threw it at the mage. While the knife didn't miss, it hit the mage hilt first. And then fell to the ground. The mage lost his place in the spell and kicked the knife into the river.

Well, that fucking sucks! Wait, where's the other one!?

An axe descended upon Vincent. He rolled out of the way just in time. Well, not rolled. More like jumped and landed on his face.

The mage had already begun to cast magic again. Vincent began to mumble his incantation very quickly. When he finished, he flung the fireball at the one with the axe. It soared in the opposite direction deeper into the town.

Note to self, don't be an idiot.

Vincent began to run away since the big man with the axe had started chasing him. Of course things got worse, the mage flung his wind spell. Vincent was directly hit and got thrown into the river.

Water is bad for fire. Not good.

"Not good not good not good not- SHIT!" Vincent mumbled as an axe was thrown at him. It missed, barely. Actually it snagged his coat cloak thingy. And ripped it.

Dammit! It's a purple coat! Purple is cool!

Vincent climbed out of the river stream thing. It was sided with stones, so it made an easy climb. Vincent lost sight of the man who had thrown his axe at him, but the damned mage was still casting spells. Or trying to, the next one missed Vincent. Vincent began to say his spell, clearly this time. A fireball appeared and Vincent pointed his hand at the mage. The fireball flew at his command. The enemy mage was staring down at his tome, not paying attention.

Haha, that was actually funny! He looked up as soon as it hit him! He went flying too…like a birdie!

But of course, that's when the bandit bashed Vincent with his axe.

Holy dammit! That hurts like hell! Check damage… He glanced down and saw blood coming out of his side. Not a lethal wound…maybe. He began to have trouble taking breaths. At least the bandit had mistaken him for dead. Or maybe he was waiting to gut him again.

Tricksy banditses.

He tried to crawl to try and get Chrom's attention. A new wave of pain shot through him. Ugh…this hurt.

No shit.

Silence self! Do not talk like that when I'm stating the obvious!

Vincent lay there, he had no idea how long it was. His vision was fading rapidly now. The flames from the homes were now blurry orange blobs, shifting randomly.

Ah, this ain't good.

"Chrom! He's over here! I found him!"

Voices are good. As long as they're real, not imaginary.

Lissa? Was that Lissa? Well, whoever it was wearing yellow.

Yellow equals Lissa.

"Li…ssa?" Vincent whispered.

"Stay with me Vincent! You're beat up pretty badly, but my staff can heal it, just don't lose consciousness!" She said urgently.

"Tell me about it…my handsome looks are ruined!" he exclaimed weakly.

She giggled softly. Vincent felt something hot on his skin. The staff perhaps. Or he was on fire. He preferred to think the former.

He lay there for a full minute, the pain fading gradually. "There! All better!" Lissa said cheerfully, "You'll still be dizzy for a while though, you lost a lot of blood."

Vincent sat up. His head was pounding as he spoke, "Did we win?"

"Yeah! Frederick's making sure the entire town's people are safe and me and Chrom were looking for you! He probably didn't hear me yell to him. Wait here, I'm going to go find him!"

Vincent nodded weakly. He took a few deep breaths and attempted to stand up. For one of the first times this day, he did something successfully. He had to lean on the burnt building for support however.

Lissa returned quickly with Chrom in tow. "Are you alright?" he asked relieved.

"Of course I'm alright! I'm sir alright! Oh, that's a terrible name. Never call me that. Now, we were heading to Ylisse right? When do we leave?" Vincent said, hiding his weakness with false bravado.

Chrom raised his eyebrows, "You're really something, Lissa told me what happened. Walking off a wound like that…"

Vincent looked uncomfortable, "It was healed Chrom, it doesn't hurt like before."

"I've been healed before too, you still lose blood and feel some pain. Are you sure you can travel like that?" Chrom asked worriedly.

Vincent put on a cocky grin, "Doubt me?"

Chrom chuckled and motioned for Vincent to follow him. They made their way to Frederick, who was helping the civilians put out the fires.

"So you can use magic Vincent?"

Vincent turned his attention to Lissa. "I guess so, I wasn't very good though. I missed more times than I hit."

"That is so cool! I'm sure you can get better by practicing!" she said with a smile.

Vincent smiled at that praise. These were good people. He trusted them.

Even though I don't seem like the trusting sort. Ah well, hopefully they trust me. Maybe I don't look trust worthy? I don't even know what I look like…that's a problem. I shall solve it. A quest!

Vincent walked toward a nearby shop with a glass window. He looked at his reflection carefully. He had dark black hair that came down to about his shoulders. Otherwise, he had an ordinary face. At least, what he thought was ordinary.

I hate amnesia.

Well, upon closer inspection, he noticed he had red eyes. Not bright red, but a dull red.

I look weird. Whatever.

"Vincent?"

Vincent whipped around quickly and saw Chrom standing in front of him.

"I had an idea Vincent, how would you like to join the Shepherds? You have some magical ability it seems and you can deal with pain well. Not only that, you help Ylissean citizens. You have my trust. So what do you say?" Chrom said hopefully.

Well, he is right about all those things. And now that I think of it…maybe me sizing up those enemies was what a tactician would do. Perhaps tactics are my thing. Oooo, that'll be fun!

"Fine, I'll join your group. I think tactics are my specialty, might as well put them to good use!" Vincent said cheerfully.

Chrom grinned, "That's good, now we'll be on our way to the capital."

"One more thing milord," a familiar voice said.

That man, is like Chrom's shadow. It scares me.

"Yes Frederick?" Chrom asked.

"Those brigands, they spoke with a Plegian accent."

Vincent sighed and asked, "I'm sure you saw this coming, but what's Plegian?"

Chrom explained angrily, "Plegia is Ylisse's neighbor. They send bandits across our borders hoping to instigate a war. All the towns and villages suffer due to it."

Well…It seems this little adventure has just acquired a plot.

Author Notes: I'd say I did a fine job! Battle scenes are sooooo much more fun without an OP character. Just a few things I forgot to mention, I update on Wednesdays. If you didn't like this humor, or anything, then decide for yourself: do you judge a fic by its first chpt? Or do you just not give a shit and leave. It is your decision. And this should be the most game dialogue I ever use.

"I like sleep. It's like death without the commitment."

-Unknown

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