Conversation with Michael's mom….
"Mom…do me a favor…never set me up again."
"What? What happened?"
"She just…she…her name is Greta mom. Seriously?"
"That's why you didn't like her?"
"That's not the only reason. Think about…Greta Scott? Doesn't necessarily have a nice ring to it…she needs to be with someone named Hansel, and Hansel only!"
"That's Hansel and Gret-el…never mind….Michael, I thought she was sweet, okay? She
seemed funny and…I don't know…she was cute."
"See? This is why you should be in a retirement home mom."
"Michael, I'm only 63."
"You can't see clearly now. I can see clearly now…the rain is gone mom! It's like that song by Johnny Cash."
"Johnny Nash."
After 40-some years of correcting Michael's mistakes on, well, just about everything, it became a part of her everyday life. Or, well, every time her and Michael talked. He has never been good at getting his information right. Well, you can see for yourself. He obviously isn't up-to-date on the Hansel and Gretel fable. He also has a hard time matching up the right singers with their songs. He means well. The effort's there. Just, correcting him comes very naturally.
"She is NOT a 10..."
"Michael, you need to stop okay? Greta was beautiful…"
"No mom! Jan was beautiful…Jan was funny…Jan was sweet! NOT Greta. Greta makes me think of that story about those 2 kids that got lost in the woods. What was that called? And they get eaten by a witch or something. I don't know, but there was candy involved. Anyways…I didn't have a good time."
My point exactly.
"Oh Mikey…you need to get over that Jan character okay? Are we even talking about the same person? Didn't she make you do things that you didn't want to do? She was controlling and obsessive and…and…you deserve a lot better."
"I don't know mom. I think I had the best…I just…" Michael tries his damnedest not to cry…but he can't help to start letting his tears flow out.
"Oh Michael…stop crying."
"I'm not crying, okay? It's allergy season, if you hadn't noticed."
"Really? You get allergies in the middle of July?" Wait. Don't answer that. "Michael, listen…there's another girl I'd like you to go out with."
"What? No…no way…I am not…"
"She's the sweetest thing Michael, I swear. She has your sense of humor. She loves that show you watch…the one with the guys and the…"
"Entourage."
"Yeah…just try it. Okay?"
"I don't…"
"I want a grandchild Michael…I'm not getting any younger…your not getting any younger."
"You know something else wrong with that date?"
"Do I really want to hear this?"
"I asked her if she'd ever get a boob job…know what she said? She said that I was the biggest slime ball she has ever met! You know who got a boob job for me mom? Jan. Jan did. You're asking me to forget about someone who would…"
"Oh god Michael…here…have some Kleenex."
"I miss her mom. I don't know why, but, but I do and, and…I think I will always have a place in my heart for her if she ever wants to get back together."
Seeing her son cry over a woman who has done nothing but hurt him ached her heart. It made her realize just how much love Michael has in his heart. What was it about this woman? Well…if Jan makes Michael happy then so be it, he should be happy.
"Then call her Mike."
"What? I can't..."
"What are you afraid of?"
"I don't know."
"Michael? Were you happy with her in your life?"
"I…I think so. I'm not happy when she's not in my life-if that makes sense."
"Then call her."
So Michael did JUST that.