Cast:
TIFA - Kate Monster
RENO - Trekkie Monster
TSENG - Rod
VINCENT - Brian
CID - Gary
CLOUD - Princeton
TIFA
Finally, I get to teach a lesson all by myself !
And I'm gonna teach something relevant,
something modern - the internet !
The internet is really, really great
RENO
For porn
TIFA
I've got a fast connection so I don't have to wait
RENO
For porn
TIFA
Huh?
There's always some new site,
RENO
For porn!
TIFA
I browse all day and night
RENO
For porn!
TIFA
It's like I'm surfing at the speed of light
RENO
For porn!
TIFA
Reno!
RENO
The internet is for porn
TIFA
Reno!
RENO
The internet is for porn,
TIFA
What are you doing!?
RENO
Why you think the net was born?
Porn, porn, porn
~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~
TIFA
Reno!
RENO
Oh hello Tifa monster
TIFA
You are ruining my song
RENO
Oh me sorry, me no mean to
TIFA
Well if you wouldn't mind please being quiet for a minute so I can finish?
RENO
. . . Me no talkie
TIFA
Good
I'm glad we have this new technology
RENO
For porn - oop !
TIFA
Which gives us untold opportunity
RENO
For porn - oops, sorry
TIFA
Right from you own desktop
RENO
For ---
TIFA
You can research browse and shop
Until you've had enough and your ready to stop
RENO
FOR PORN!!
TIFA
Reno!
RENO
The internet is for porn!
TIFA
Noooo
RENO
The internet if for porn!
TIFA
Reno
RENO
Me up all night honking me horn to porn, porn, porn!
TIFA
That's gross. You're a pervert
RENO
Ah, sticks and stones, Tifa monster
TIFA
No really, you're a pervert
Normal people don't sit at home and look
at porn on the internet
RENO
Ohhhh?
TIFA
What?!
RENO
You have no idea
Ready normal people?
NORMAL PEOPLE
Ready--- ready ----ready
RENO
Let me hear it!
RENO AND GUYS
The internet is for porn!
CLOUD
Sorry Tifa
RENO AND GUYS
The internet is for porn!
CLOUD
I masturbate!
RENO AND GUYS
All these guys unzip their flies
For porn, porn, porn!
TIFA
The internet is not for porn!!
RENO AND GUYS
PORN, PORN, P---
TIFA
HOLD ON A SECOND!
Now I know for a fact that you, Tseng, check your portfolio and trade stocks online
TSENG
That's correct.
TIFA
And Vincent, you buy things on
VINCENT
Sure
TIFA
And Cid, you keep selling your possessions on EBay
CID
Yes I do!
TIFA
And Cloud, you sent me that sweet online birthday card
CLOUD
True!
RENO
Oh, but Tifa-
What you think he do . . . after? Hmm?
CLOUD
. . . yeah
TIFA
EEEWWWWW!
RENO AND GUYS
The internet is for porn!
TIFA
Gross!
RENO AND GUYS
The internet is for porn!
TIFA
I hate porn
RENO AND GUYS
Grab your dick and double click
TIFA
I hate you men!
RENO AND GUYS
For porn, porn, porn!
(harmonizing) porn, porn, porn, porn
TIFA
I'm leaving!
RENO AND GUYS
Porn, porn, porn, porn
porn, porn, porn, porn
TIFA
I hate the internet!
RENO AND GUYS
Porn, porn, porn, porn
RENO
The internet is for
RENO AND SOME
The internet is for
RENO AND ALL
The internet is for PORN!
RENO
YEAH!