Disclaimer: DUURRR. I DON'T OWN NARUTO. THEREFORE THIS IS A FANFICTION. GET IT?! DURHURR. :B stupid disclaimer rules..
-grumble-
This is a Kakashi x Iruka fanfiction. Yes happy homo love. You don't like it? too bad, I'm not changing it. Get over it, read it or don't just leave me alone about it. Leave me a comment if you feel like it. If you liked it.
- Hak.
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I sat at my desk.
Slowly, very slowly, I was working.
More importantly, I was dreaming.
I was dreaming of him. Him.
I looked at the clock, it was late. Very very late. very very very late. Well, I should be going to bed. OH WELL.
This man was an enigma to me.
...And yet I loved him so.
Perhaps it was a pathetic boyish crush. So what?
All love is the same to me anyway. It starts with that sheepish sickened feeling where your stomach is burning and melting away. It happens so fast that you have to pull away or your whole torso will rot away and that liquid organ mess would spill out. Even if you wanted it to.
Just a little longer, I want this feeling to stay. Even then you pull away. You have to. It's reflex.
Next you try to be with the person as much as possible without them knowing your feelings. Even though you want to tell them ever so much. Ever so much. You wish and wish, wish wish wish that your friendship would grow, grow grow until it was a full blown relationship, but that hardly ever happens. And even then, it hardly ever lasts.
Then things end. Blam. That's it. Over. Whatever happens, it devastates you. It tears you apart, limb from limb, sinew from sinew, artery from artery from heart. But you get over it. You mend. You start turning once again.
Not this time. This time I won't be caught. Ever.
But I want to see him...
So I go. I just.... go.
I turn off my lamp, I run out the door, I leave my jacket and my shoes behind. I run barefoot into the cool night.
Down the streets I run, the wind whips through my long brown hair. I had left it down. I dash further and further. I take the necessary turns. I stare not at the ground, but at the sky. I stop. I pant, I catch my breath. I look down. The ground. I look up. A tree, an apartment. I climb the tree with ease. I hide easily in the leaves. I quietly hop to the next one, and nearly lose my balance. I'm beginning to tremble.
Not now, I'm so close. I won't be caught, I won't. But I don't care anymore.
It's now or never.
I slip down onto a thick branch, close to the window. His window. I'm still hidden by the leaves, for the most part. I peer inside. There on the bed. There he is. He is there. His thick blue bed comforter is loosely thrown over his waist, and he still is wearing his mask and that blue, the same blue that I wear, the same blue that we all wear. His white hair is somewhat sprawled upon the bed, no doubt smashed against it when he plopped onto the mattress. His eyes were closed, that long scar across his eye still there, always there. Like mine. I shake, I tremble.
So close, just a little closer..
I pull myself with my hands slowly closer down the branch, I loose my footing and I fall off. Ye Gods, how could I fall? I plunged out of the darkness, I fell into the shrubs on the ground.
But they were his shrubs.
I sat there for a very long time. I wondered when, if I would get up again, how long it would take me to muster up some random courage to go farther. I sighed and stared at the sky.
--
I opened one eye, this eye that isn't mine, this red seething weapon. I turned my head and looked out the window.
Silly sheepish boy, I love you. Try again.