Eli sighed and leaned his head against his black door. He could hear Cece talking in whispers to Bullfrog. He felt a tear start to well up; he got up and turned on his bare light bulb, staring straight into the burning bright white light until the tears seared away. A gentle knock on the door made him perk up his head.

"Baby boy?" Cece slowly walked over to her son and wrapped her arms around him. It wasn't long before Eli gave into the hug and was sobbing into her chest. She tried her best to console him, but knew that there was only one person who could nowadays.

"Clare? Hi, it's Cece. Yeah, it's about Eli. He's okay, just crying. We're not getting through to him. Could you maybe come over and try to talk to him? Thank you so much, sweetie. Bye."

As soon as she saw the number on her phone, her heart gave a little kick. She quickly opened her phone,

"Hello?" she asked breathlessly.

"Clare? Hi, it's Cece." Clare's heart turned to stone when she heard her boyfriend's mother on the phone.

Clare had dropped her bike on the front lawn in a hurry, quickly bounding up the steps to the Goldsworthy front door. She was scared but also happy to be able to talk to Eli. He had been avoiding her and Adam this whole week, always skipping Dawes' class and neither concerned friends could find him at lunch.

"Clare?" Cece opened the door and gave a weak smile. "Come in, come in." she made haste to usher Clare to Eli's room and before she even could open the door she heard the erratic sobs. Cece stayed quiet but practically pushed an anxious Clare into the dark room. She had never been in Eli's room once before, and to say she was shocked was an understatement. She knew Eli had a hoarding problem, but books and magazines and newspapers were scattered evenly about the room, covering the hardwood floors. Piled high trash and other junk were all around. She couldn't help herself from gasping lightly; but not lightly enough, it seemed. Eli had heard the audible gasp and instantly whipped his head around, bangs covering his bloodshot eyes. Blue orbs clashed with green and Clare could literally feel the tension rising with every careful step she took towards her broken friend. Eli closed his eyes and sighed tiredly.

"Clare." He breathed out, as if only saying it to himself. When he had met her, his escapes were drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, and sharp objects. She had changed him, and even if it didn't seem so at first to him, it was certainly for the better. Now she was his only escape, his only hope.

"E-Eli." Clare stuttered out, almost tripping over a pile of band magazines before strong arms caught her. She was now staring up into the emerald eyes of her best friend. He was dipping her, and smirking half-heartedly at the crimson color that cascaded about her face. Clare could tell, though, that the smirk was neither full-on, nor that he had any emotion in it. Clare smiled up at Eli half-heartedly as she regained her balance. She sighed and sat tenderly on the bed next to him, slowly intertwining their fingers. She and Eli hadn't broken up, not officially. She lost herself in the moment just a few days ago.

"Eli, you have stuff to deal with. I get it. It's getting closer to Julia's birthday. I understand." Clare tried to stutter out but her quiet whisper was barely heard over Eli's unsteady breaths. Eli, however, was about to get pushed off the edge. He had been working himself thin, trying to do everything he could to get rid of any lingering thoughts of Julia. They were more pronounced than they had ever been since he met Clare. The anniversary of her death was something unbearable; like reliving the moment over. The screams, blood, numbness. It was all happening again. He tried to focus on Clare, but failed miserably. He had been writing more to get out his emotion; the only way he knew how. Clare had stumbled upon some of his stories and had called him a monster. It was a murder story of the main character trying to kill his girlfriend. Eli had always felt a burden on his shoulders because he believed it was his fault Julia died. His way of seeing it was that he murdered her. That's why they moved; the therapist suggested he start anew.

"Eli. Please." Clare tried to say as Eli involuntarily started shake. His head was spinning as he ground his teeth together to keep from screaming. Clare gripped his shoulder tightly, reminding him she was still there. Living, breathing next to him; even if he felt as if he were dead.

"Clare, just go. Now. Please. I'll-I'll call you…sometime."

"But Eli-"

"Leave!" he growled as she tried to persuade him to let her help him. He was a monster. She didn't deserve to have such a heavy weight trying to deal with not only herself; but her emotionally wrecked boyfriend too. It didn't matter she was the only thing keeping him sane; this was for her, not him. He grimaced as she quietly squeaked an 'okay' and left, practically sprinting away.

That had been the last time they had talked since now. She didn't want to leave Eli there that night, but she had no choice. She had been worrying for 3 days straight, wondering if he was okay.

"Eli?" Clare asked softly.

"Just shut up and hold me, please." Eli choked out, holding in his tears until that moment, when he let them all spill. She didn't need to be asked twice. She quickly enveloped him in a hug, her arms pressed tightly around him, reassuring him silently that she wasn't going anywhere. She knew they would have to work things out at some point, but right now she knew Eli needed someone, and she was that one. This is where she needed to be.

A.N- Miss? Win? Confusing? Tell me in a comment! Love you~ OH and I don't own degrassi, but I do own a very lonely dog, so I think I'll go cuddle with him :3

Toodles!