Bloody Escapade

Blood gets everywhere. Everywhere. Never mind it staining all of your clothes, it gets in your hair and ears and down your back and in your boots. It's bloody awful. Yeah, had to throw that pun in there.

So why am I covered in blood from head to toe, in the middle of the night? Trish. That godforsaken woman had me do a mission for her at 12 o'clock at night. "It can't wait till morning!" She cried. Psh, women.

So I ventured off into the freezing October night to do her bidding. I completed the mission easy enough; it was on my way home that I ran into some trouble, and a lot of blood…

Sleep deprived, I barely noticed the lurking gang catching up to me. But their loud heavy footsteps gave them away soon enough. I casually put what I had come for in my jacket pocket, then grabbed Ebony and Ivory in a flash, whipping around.

They were human. Good. I'd had too many demon-ass kicking lately. This was a nice change a smile curved at my lips. "Problem gentlemen?" I asked twirling my handguns.

"Dante Sparda?" One fairly frail guy of about 25 stepped forward.

"In the flesh. You guys want an autograph or something?"

"We've been paid some nice money to take you out by Ranzetta. It's nothing personal." The Latin man pulled out a pistol.

"It never is." The name didn't ring a bell, but they rarely do these days. I've had so many bounty hunters on my ass this last week, I've lost track.

There were six of them. Almost an unfair fight…for them.

The guy who called my name was the first to come at me in a running attack, whipping out a switchblade. I put my guns back in their holsters, grabbed his wrist, shattering it, and twisted him onto his back. With all his running energy, it was easy to use his weight against him.

I heard the Latin one cock he gun. Before he even had time to aim, I lunged at him, knocking his gun down and breaking his nose with a sharp jab. While he was cowering on the ground, another came at me. Repeat if desired.

"Three down, three to…go…" I should have been able to smell them. I guess I was caught up in the excitement of new prey. The three remaining men rose to their true demonic form. "This'll be messy." I said absently as I drew my sword.

They were big hulky demons, a good seven feet to them. They snarled and foamed and stomped their feet on the rained pavement. All very impressive. Two rushed me at once. I ducked low and swung my sword out to the side, catching one's kneecaps. While that one squealed in pain, Hairy and Boils came at me, mouths screaming in rage.

I dipped to the side, slicing Hairy in the gut. But Boils came around and cracked down on my shoulder with his boney elbow. That only pushed me into Hairy's gushing line of blood spewing. That was tasty.

Regaining my footing, I held up my sword for an attack. Like a ballplayer, I swung Alastor high and spliced off Boils' head in a clean sweep. Raining down a new spray of blood. Fowl, spoiled, blood.

Hairy came at me from the side. It didn't take much effort to sideswipe his charging form, sending his nasty-ass body to the ground, in two pieces.

One demon left. Newly deprived of his kneecaps, he wasn't going anywhere fast and the other humans had run off. I stood over him, getting my breathing under control. I raised my sword and plunged it down into his chest with a twist. What came rushing up to me? Blood. Naturally the streetlights illuminated the crimson and made it glow. It spilled from the carnage and onto the slick ground.

I wiped off the liquid from my face with a blood-soaked glove. A lot of good that does. I threw Alastor on my back and cracked my neck to the side. With a sniff I was on my way.

I threw open the office door, deliberately with a bang. She had better be awake or so help me… My boots clanged loudly on the wooden floors as I put all my weight into each step.

"Dante?" The cause of all this, entered from the backroom. "Jeezus! It took you long enough!" She threw up her arms in distaste.

Fighting off murderous thoughts, I clenched my jaw, tightening my fists subconsciously.

"And you're getting blood all over the floor! What the hell happened?" She demanded.

"Three ugly as hell demons, three dumb as hell humans, and ten annoying as hell people at the store!" I grabbed the damn merchandise from my coat pocket and tossed it to her. Her eyes widened at the sight and she greedily clutched it, tearing off the wrapper eagerly.

"Enjoy your goddamn chocolate." I stomped my way to the stairs, pissed as hell.

"Oh Dante." Her voice chimed behind me.

I cringed at the base of the staircase. "What." I growled, not turning to her.

She slipped her slender fingers down my bloody vest from behind. She stood on her tippy-toes to whisper into my ear. "I'm forever grateful." Her sexy voice slithered through my barricades. Damn her. A low growl escaped my throat.

Her massaging fingers crept lower, down to my belt. "Oh, and Dante." My head started to roll back.

"Hm?"

"You forgot the milk."

My whole body instantly tightened and I cringed. If I opened my mouth, I'd curse her out. If I turned around, I'd murder her.

I thundered up the stairs in jagged steps, muttering fiercely between clenched teeth. She dared to giggle behind my back. Women.