Obviously, I'm not JK Rowling, or I wouldn't be writing a fanfiction. Because I'd be too cool for that!

All the characters are JK's or the fictionalized kids of her characters. Hope you enjoy!

Rosie Bums

"So? Did you do it?"

"I put it on her bed when all the girls were out."

"How in Merlin's name did you get in there?"

"Ah, Al. I can't go revealing all my secrets now, can I?" Scorpius Malfoy took a bite of sausage with a smug expression on his face, spraying juices all over the table.

"It's good to know I can always count on my best mate," Albus Potter replied sarcastically.

"Alice is going to love it. When she sees those robes she'll be screaming to go to the Yule Ball. I even added a nice little rose for a finishing touch."

Neither of the boys seemed to notice Rose Weasley's glowering silence as she listened to her two best friends discussing Scorp's latest Casanovian move. She glared at her plate, rearranging her meal with her fork without taking a bite. Scorpius looked over at her, and grinned. "Ah, perk up, Rosie! You'll get asked soon!"

"And how do you know I haven't already?"she snapped. Scorpius looked like he'd been slapped, and Albus's mouth was hanging open, revealing a mouthful of eggs and other unidentifiable elements. "For your information, Ian Finnegan already asked be to the ball."

"And you said yes to that blighter?" Scorpius was positively aghast.

"Of course I didn't say yes! I'm not stupid you know!" She returned to glowering at her food, and Scorpius sighed in relief.

"Now, that's the smartest witch of the generation we know. Had me scared for a moment there." He lounged back in his chair and grinned.

"And why should you care?" Rose fairly bellowed. She grabbed her things, and took off, muttering things that sounded like "bloody prat" and "dung beatle".

"What's her problem this morning?" Scorpius asked his friend.

"Scorp, if there's one thing you don't want to know about, it's a girl's mood swings."

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"That stupid, ignorant, selfish, arrogant GIT!" Rose screamed once she was alone in her dorm. Rose wasn't usually prone to childish tantrums, but Scorpius Malfoy was really pushing it. How dare he ask Alice Longbottom, her roommate and close friend, to the Yule Ball! He didn't deserve her! She didn't even know he liked her! She hated him! Hated him! Hated him! Hated him!

Rose finally looked at the bed she had been avoiding since entering the room. Lying on it were a glorious pink set of dress robes, every detail perfect, from the green and gold embroidered roses to the flowing sleeves. And set delicately on top of that was a perfect red rose.

How dare he! A rose! Of all things! Could he be more ironic? Not able to contain herself, Rose burst out in angry tears. Throwing open her trunk, she stuffed the perfect robes in, along with the card that read "Dance with me? With all my love, Your Secret Admire."

"Secret, my bum!" Rose cried savagely.

But she couldn't make herself throw the rose in. How long had she dreamed of staring at this perfect rose, from that perfect someone? But it wasn't hers. Merlin, how had she waited all of these years? Since fourth year, when she had finally realized her own feelings as he lay on his bed, unconscious from a blow by an uncoordinated Beater. How many times had she seen him walk off with some other girl on a Hogsmeade outing? How many boys had she dated while trying to get over him? But this time was supposed to be different. She was sure it would be. Hadn't he kissed her on the cheek last week, "For luck," as he'd raced off to the Quidditch pitch? Hadn't he told her she was the prettiest girl in Hogwarts after that stupid Slytherin git Antony Zabini had called her a troll, and set a bludger on her? Then why was he asking Alice bloody Longbottom to the Yule Ball?

"Good morning Rose!" Came a voice from the doorway, as Alice Longbottom came in, carrying a giant plant, which, bless it, had blocked her view of Rose. Startled, Rose threw the rose on the bed….

And sat on it.

She could feel thorns pushing into her bum, and she grimaced. "Morning, Alice."

"Look what Daddy got me!" The plant looked like one of those trees out of a book by that muggle author….Dr. Suits, or whatever. Prickly things on the ends of long, skinny branches were moving around with a bit too much life for Rose's liking. "It's called a Skiving Sickle. Better than a guard dog. You put it by something that needs protecting, and it'll attack any intruders enough that they'll be in the hospital wing for a week."

Rose blushed. She couldn't help thinking that Scorp should have gotten one of those to protect his precious invitation. "So….erm. Has anyone asked you to the Yule Ball yet, Alice."

"One bloke from Hufflepuff, Ivan Macmillan. His dad and my mum were mates. But I said I couldn't. I'm still holding out for the guy I want." Hannah put her plant carefully on her nightstand.

"And who would that be?"

"Well, that's a secret isn't it? Don't want to jinx myself. I probably won't get it anyway." She sighed, and Rose's stomach twisted with guilt. What if it had been Scorpius? Alice wasn't the most beautiful girl in the world, as she had her father's pudgy face and clumsy tendencies. However, she was one of the sweetest girls Rose had ever met, and her own malicious behavior stung like….well like a thorn in her bum.

"Well, I'll head off to Herbology. Dad wants me to help him out with some particularly nasty plants. See you there!" And she headed off without the slightest suspicion of what her trusted friend was up to.

With a grimace, Rose stood up, and pulled the rose out of her behind. Completely abashed, she ran downstairs, towards the portrait, and right into Scorpius Malfoy.

"Hey, Rosie. Why are you in such a hurry?"

"I, uh, don't want to be late for Herbology. Lots of…plants to work on." Scorpius stared at her for a moment, before bursting into laughter.

"Rose, you hate Herbology. What is wrong with you this morning?" He just grinned at her.

"Nothing! I just happen to want to get good grades on my NEWTs, that's all. How else am I supposed to be a good Healer?" She took off towards the portrait of the Fat Lady.

"Healing your bum might be some good practice." Rose stopped dead, and felt her entire body burning in embarrassment. She turned around, but refused to look at him. "Just out of curiosity, why do you have rips and tears and a rose petal in the backside of your robes?" He raised an eyebrow.

"I…I fell in a bush."

"Upstairs? In your dormitory?" He folded his arms and tapped his foot, just like her mother did. "Rose?"

"Okay! Fine!" she yelled. It was a good thing the common room was empty. "It's Alice Longbottom's stupid flower!"

"You…sat, on it?" He looked thoroughly baffled. "But why?"

"You figure it out!"

"What is there to figure out? You sat on the rose that I left for Alice from Albus? What were you thinking?"

"I was jea—what? From Albus?"

"Yes. His invitation? For Alice? The one he asked me to put on her bed? Why in the name of Merlin's dirtiest underpants would you sit on it?"

Rose's world seemed to crash and come together all at the same time. Albus. Alice. Oh. Merlin.

"Then—then ALBUS, my cousin ALBUS, was asking Alice to the Yule Ball."

"I think that's been said already. Now would you please explain yourself? You're acting very strange this morning."

But she couldn't, because she fell on the couch in fits of laughter. "I was jealous! Of ALBUS!" she said between breaths, and burst out laughing again. Completely bewildered, Scorpius just stared at her. After calming down into little giggles, she grinned up at him. "I thought YOU wanted to take Alice."

"So you sat on the rose?"

"Mmhm!" She just smiled up at him. After a few moments, comprehension seemed to dawn on his face.

"Then, then you were jealous of ME! Because…because why?"

"You're very dumb, you know that? Incredibly dimwitted." And then she grabbed his wrist and pulled him down to her level on the couch, and pressed her lips to his. Scorpius pulled back, pure shock all over his face.

"You…Oh, Merlin, Rose!" And he kissed her again. And again. And so many times they felt their lips would never have any other feeling again.

"You know, Albus is going to kill you," Scorpius said between kisses.

"Just to be sure," Rose began, smiling into his lips, "Does this mean we're going to the Yule Ball together?"

Scorpius just laughed, and continued to kiss her.

………………….

A/N

Well, I hope you guys liked it! This was based on a dream I had last night (about Tohru from Fruits Basket, actually), that I had to turn into a Rosius story. Because they're totally awesome!