RKK: FTW!
ABW: What the hell are you talking about?
RKK: Well, R is going to return to the Wammy House because I had a fun ass time writing the last one!
ABW: Isn't it annoying to have to switch between two fonts to write this?
RKK: Not really, because FF. Net will publish it in TNR and Only I will get to see this sexiness! laughs out loud so hard falls off chair and chokes
ABW: O.o… Oh Kay…
Rating: T, Because, Like last time… The cast ARE perverts and I love harassing the Cast of Death Note, Especially Mello who suddenly has a place in my heart after the last WH story, FTW!!!
Summary: L's sister came to the Wammy House to visit for a month "last year" so what happens when she comes back? Will Mello give her another haircut? Will Matt FINALLY beat her at WoW? Will Near get revenge for his precious toys? Or will the Wammy Boys get along with their intellectual female fiend? (My part of the "Welcome to the Wammy House" sequel challenge with Aura Black Wolf.)
Readers: After reading "Welcome to the Wammy House" and trying to help me write a sequel, Aura Black Wolf got challenged to write a crack fic based on a comment L would never say out loud… So… PENIS! That got your attention, yes? My Fic that started this challenge (Welcome To The Wammy House) has an implied MattXMello, implied MattX Near, Implied MattXR, and a very slight implication of RXNear… If any one wants to join this challenge they may… The rules are as follows; One: Read Welcome to the Wammy House. Two: make it as absurd or as serious as you want. Three: You MUST use R Lawliet (Or some version thereof). Four: Use whatever paring turns you on, seeing as how it's basically stated R is a lesbian in Welcome to the Wammy House, you could make it so she was lying, or you can totally have some awkward fun with it all. XD FTW, and FYI I'm having TOOOOO much fun with this fic for the challenge XD
Return to the Wammy House
"HEY!!! MELLO! NEAR! COME HERE! R IS ONLINE AND SHE HAS SOMETHING TO TELL US!" Matt said then smirked handing Mello and Near headsets with microphones on them, yellow and white respective to their hair colors. At that moment a window with R's face appeared.
"Alo solunt Wammy Boys!" R said brightly.
"R! How's it goin'?" Asked Mello with a smile.
"Pretty damn good, Mihael! Who is up for another round of Wammy Girl Madness?" R asked as if she was hinting something.
"Are you coming back soon?" Asked Near.
"Why don't you tell me by looking outside, Nate River…" R said and her window bwinked out as the trio dropped their headsets. Near's face lit up and he raced outside with Matt and Mello behind him. When the trio got outside they saw R leaning against a tree with a shiney red laptop balanced precariously on her arm, the green headset Matt had given her on her last visit clashing horribly with her purple hair.
"R!!!" Screamed Mello like a fanboy.
"Yey, you're back FTW!" said Matt lighting up a cig.
"GI JOE!" Near exclaimed for the fact on R's other arm hung the very GI Joe action figure that Near had given to R post toy fight. R laughed and closed the laptop and set it on her suitcase, setting the GI Joe carefully on top of it, then held her arms out to hug the Wammy Trio. Matt put his cig out and went to R with Near and Mello and hugged the only living Wammy girl. Near nuzzled R's shoulder clinging to her arm affectionately. "We thought you weren't going to come back to the Wammy House after last year's visit!" Near exclaimed making R giggle.
"FWIW, Nate, I'd never deprive you three from my presence!" R said smiling at the immature toy-obsessed Wammy Boy.
"I see you're STILL calling us by our IRL names..." Matt said and R grinned evilly.
"Ya, I am, LOL FWIW Mail, You have to get used to it…" Said R evilly, Mello just silently clung to her arm nuzzling it lovingly. "Come on, let me in and I'll tell you how long I get to stay this time…" R said gaining her arms back from Mello and Near, and Matt gave her a short gentle noogie. This time Near and Mello happily picked up her suitcase while Matt picked up and cradled the laptop from which R had disconnected her headset from and wore it about her neck like Matt was wearing his goggles.
-Six Minutes Later-
Near sat on the edge of R's bunk with Matt and Mello beside him and R sat at the head of her bunk.
"You get to stay as long as you like?" Near asked making R nod and Mello suddenly pointed at her.
"Wait, your hair!" Mello said noting her hair was in a similar V-cut like the one that Mello had given her in anger while she had slept her first night ever at the Wammy House.
"OMG! Ya, you likes it?" R asked turning her head left and right. Mello stared and gave a stupid blink.
"I like it a lot R, it makes you look… Younger…" Near said with a smile. R gave him a smile in return.
"Thnx, Nate, I likes too!" R said happily Matt chuckled.
"It's total FTW and FWIW I rly like like!" Matt said reaching over and tugging in a playful and gentle way at a lock of hair that hung in her face. This caused R to tackle Matt to the bed and begin wrestling with him. Near and Mello jumped off the bed to avoid Matt hitting them as he swung fists at R. Mello grabbed Near and they both snuck out of the room closing the door. L came around the corner and looked at Near and Mello's guilty looks.
"May I ask what Mello and Near are hiding?" L asked with a smirk, Near grinned.
"R's screwing Matt in there…" Near said almost too innocently. L and Mello pushed Near out of the way and looked inside the room to find Matt being head locked by R and R screaming at him to admit DotA was better. L and Mello quickly closed the door and rounded on Near who was innocently giving them a look of "What did I do?" L just walked off and when he was gone Mello burst out laughing.
"We should totally do that again!" Mello crooned with a grin.
"Riiiggghhhttttt…" Near said rolling his eyes, that's when they heard the scream.
"FINE! DotA is FTW! Now let me GOOOO!!!" Matt's voice screamed loudly.
"SING IT!!! SING IT NOW!!!" R's scream followed.
"ACK! Fine! Vi sitter här i venten, och spelar lite DotA, å pushar på å smeker, med motståndet vi leker. Vi sitter här i venten, och spelar lite DotA, å springer runt å creepar, och motståndet vi sleeper! NOW LET ME GOOOO!!!!" Matt said half singing and half screaming. R's triumphant yell was heard and suddenly Matt burst from the room with his goggles askew and his shirt slightly ripped and a scratch running along his right cheek. "I thought I was gunna be owned in there FYI…" Matt said with a wide eyed look of terror. Mello and Near exchanged glances and bolted off before R came out and both she and Matt broke into laughter.
"FTW Mail, that was a good one!" R asid proudly. Matt fixed his shirt with a snicker.
"LOL ya, FTW R! FTW!" Matt agreed. The two high fived one another and smirked.
-Two Days Later-
"NEAR!" Shouted L's voice from the bathroom. Near peeked in at the oldest of the Wammy House orphans.
"Yes? Does L need me for something?" Near asked looking semi confused. L shoved a tube in Near's face.
"Chances that Near played a joke on me is 56.89 percent, the chances that R made you do it are at least 78.45 percent..." L said squeezing lightly to show only water coming out of the tube. Near blinked, for ONCE he was innocent.
"I really didn't do it L… If L thinks I did it then why would I do it?" Near asked watching L's hand tremble with anger.
"Because R told Near to do it!" L howled before he threw the tube into the trash. At that moment a triumphant laugh was heard down the hall.
"So Pwned bitch!" Came R's voice from Matt and Mello's room. L and Near peeked over the side of the doorway and in at the scene before them. Matt was laying on Mello's bed hanging upside down over the edge his attention on his Nintendo DS, Mello had a Barbie doll in hand and R had the GI Joe Near had given her in hand and a decapitated Barbie lay between R and Mello.
"You're GMing R, TNF for Mello (GMing means God Moding, TNF means That's not fair)." Matt said not looking up from his game. R turned around and pulled the DS from Matt's grip and looked at it.
"Phoenix Write? You play Ace Attorney?" R asked as a sudden shout of "OBJECTION!" was heard from the DS.
"GIMMIE MY DS!" Matt whined clawing the air for it as R stood. Mello snickered and then pointed to L and Near peeking in at them.
"Oh, hi Aniki… I suppose you're steamed because Mail used the last of your gel and I replaced it with water?" R inquired, leaping to the right as Matt rolled over to the right to get a better range to get his DS back. "Mihael, why don't you give him the spare tube in my bag… I'm kina busy at the-OW!" R said before Matt launched himself off the bed and tackled R grabbing her arms wrestling her for the DS.
"I swear I'm going to hit you if you don't give me my DS back!" Matt said before yelping in pain as R bit his hand… Hard.
"FWIW MAIL JEEVAS NO! NOT UNTIL YOU ADMIT YOU'RE AN ÜBER N00B!" R screamed as Mello lead Near and L away from the impending Wammy Gamer geek fight.
-Three Days Later…-
Mello put a blindfold over R's eyes with a smirk.
"WTF do ya think yer doin'?" R asked. She had first been awakened by being pushed off the top bunk of her and L's bunk beds then she had been handcuffed and literally dragged by she guessed Mello and Near into the living room where Mello now was securing a blindfold over her eyes.
"You'll see R… IDT Mello or Near are going to hurt you…" Matt supplied with a smirk looking at his DS once again, this time Playing Kingdom Hearts: Chain Of Memories. He had managed to take his DS back while she slept.
"WTF? I HATE SURPRISES!" R screamed and Near snickered as he shoved a clean pair of Matt's socks in her mouth.
-Five Minutes Later-
"Don't drag her Matt!" Mello said as he rushed to grab R's free arm.
"FWIW Mello, You heard the girl… She hates surprises… Pbbly as much as I hate mobs…" Matt said thoughtfully puffing on the cig he had been allowed to smoke.
Near shook his head and sighed holding R's GI Joe as he followed behind Matt, Mello, and the still gagged and bound R. The trio had learned from L that R's birthday was in fact Valentines Day, which she happened to detest and since she was at the Wammy House and it happened to be Valentines Day that day… The Wammy Trio decided to throw R a party.
"Sit her down nicely Matt, we don't want her to get pissy about that…" Mello said and Near rolled his eyes as Mello handed him a silver key, obviously to R's handcuffs. Near accepted the Key and the second Matt stepped away he unlocked the cuffs and took them off her and she immediately removed Matt's socks that had been her gag, and Mello's tie that had been her blind fold before she gasped.
"Awwww… Guys… This is total FTW!" She said looking around. They were in a clearing in the woods behind the Wammy House and there was a table decorated in dark forest green laden with sweets and other good things for a party.
"HB R, LOL Luffs from us!" Matt chirped happily holding his hand out to help R from sitting. R accepted his hand and stood before she went to Mello and slapped him.
"FYI, Mihael… Next time DON'T tie me up…" R said before the Wammy Trio grinned and pulled out three identical heart-shaped papers, this caused R's eyes to narrow. She pointed to Near first. "Jail bait…" then to Matt, "Barely Legal…" Then to Mello, "And wouldn't go near with ten foot pole…" R said and the boys laughed.
"I think R has it backwards… These aren't valentines! These are R's gifts!" Near said and R gave him a skeptical look.
"Trans. Kthnx…" R said before going to Mello and taking his first. She read the paper and sighed. "A hunt?" She asked before trying to take Matt's paper.
"Not yet… You picked Mello's first, you gotta solve his first…" Matt teased before she gave him a scowl.
"Mail is a N00b…" She muttered before re-reading Mello's heart-shaped clue. "OH!" she then exclaimed realizing what Mello's first clue meant. She went to Mello and with out much thought of how perverted she was going to look she reached into Mello's left front pants pocket and pulled out a yellow slip of paper with a smirk. "YEY!" She yelled triumphantly before Matt and Near gave Mello dirty looks.
"She said she'd never go near me with a ten foot pole last time she was here… So last place one would suspect 'a gun to reside'…" Mello said in a matter-of-fact tone making a reference to the last visit when Mello had pulled his gun on her and she had made it sound like the gun was his penis. R then let out another squeal as she pulled another yellow scrap out of the chip bowl.
"When did Mello hide all those?" asked Near as she quickly found another one.
"Yesterday…" Mello said casually as she found a fifth one then she came to Mello with a suspicious look.
"This one says: 'See Mihael for Reward'…" R said and Mello smiled before he did something very unlike himself. He bent down and gave R a kiss on the cheek.
"Happy Birthday R, From Mihael…" Mello said in her ear causing more jealous looks from Matt and Near. R merely blushed bright red.
"Thnx…" R said softly and Mello chuckled before he pulled out a candy bar and gave it to her.
"I know how much you like my chocolate so… I got you some…" Mello said with amusement, obviously the cheek kiss had been for Valentines Day, but his last chocolate bar of the week was her true Birthday Present. R snatched the bar from him and tackled him with a hug.
"My turn!" said Matt holding his heart shaped beginning clue high out of her reach. R didn't seem to be fazed as she merely kicked Matt in the shin and grabbed it while he paid attention to his aching shin. "Sneaky, R… FTW very sneaky…" Matt mumbled as she immediately sang the Final Fantasy 7 victory theme.
"OMG! Mail you're too obvious!" She said bending down and taking off his right boot. She then reached inside the boot to find a crimson scrap that was obviously her next clue. She then threw the boot at Matt and smirked reading the scrap and her face paled before she turned redder than what she had when Mello gave her an innocent kiss. "OMG NO!" She yelled pointing at Matt with a look of "I hate your guts right now".
-The Next Day-
"MAILLLL…." R whined trying to get Matt off her. Currently they were sprawled on the floor in the living room R was on her stomach with Matt sitting on her lower back both with controllers in hand. "Come on… My back hurts… And I'm TIRED!" R whined further. Matt grinned.
"If you want your dear Matty to get off you… Then you MUST say that WoW is FTW and that DotA sux. Then you must say that you are Kira and you think with your dick!" Matt said and R snickered.
"If WoW is FTW then I AM Kira and I would more than likely think with my non-existant dick… Now get off me Mail Jeevas, or I'll hide your games in Near's room in the last place you'd look…" R said and Matt got off of her and stood above R with triumph before realizing what R had said and attempted to tackle her but she stepped to the left to avoid him and Matt got a face full of Watari's old Victorian era carpet. R sighed and rubbed her eyes. "Now I'm tired… I'm gunna go to bed, kthnx!" R crowed shortly before L snuck up on her and tapped her shoulder.
"R has been up all night, yes?" L asked and R nodded, "Then as punishment for doing so, R cannot go to bed until nine pm tonight…" L said with a smirk. R grimaced and sighed looking at Matt whom was smirking oddly like a cat.
"No Mail, FWIW I will NOT play more DDR with you…"
-Three Months Later- (Because, I, the authoress, am feeling lazy AND don't want to Ruin the side story that fills in this gap)
R reluctantly was folding the last of her laundry Matt dangling upside down off L's bed playing R's PSP, Mello standing beside her with his hands behind his back cradling a chocolate bar gently, and Near cradling R's GI Joe looking up at R from her feet.
"I can't believe I'm bein' called on an 'effing case…" R said breaking the silence. Matt looked up.
"IDK, at least it's easy money for you, right?" Matt asked. R nodded.
"FWIW Mail, I am tired of cases… I want to be normal…" R confessed and Near tugged at her pant leg in a childish way.
"Wasn't that why R had to leave the last time? Because R was just taking a break from a big case she was working on?" Near asked, R nodded.
"Ya, WTFH I put up with it, IDK… But you can bet I'll come back ASAP… KK Nate?" R asked looking at Near fondly. Near nodded before hugging her leg. (The ending will make sense after reading the side story… -RKK)
"R… Take care of yourself…" Mello said turning a bright pink before presenting her with the chocolate bar. R giggled then did something that surprised all three boys in the room. She unwrapped the chocolate, took a bite then grabbed Mello by the neck and pressed her lips to his giving him a literal "Chocolate kiss".
"Thanks for the Chocolate Mihael, and FWIW… You taste better…" She said breaking the kiss with a sly smile before she re-wrapped the chocolate bar and closed her suitcase, tucking the chocolate down her green bra that showed through her see-thru men's undershirt that she had stole from Mello her third week there. Mello blushed speechless and Matt snickered.
"FTW Mell, Give her a REAL one!" Matt said sitting upright. Mello turned red before he grabbed R suddenly by the shoulders and pulled her toward him before he pressed his lips to hers giving her a return gift kiss. Mello completely forgot Near was at her feet and Matt about three feet away and ran his tongue over her lips begging for entry which she gladly gave him. After giving her the most mind-blowing kiss a guy could give they broke apart for air and Mello gave her an unusual soft and caring smile.
"Stay safe… And come HOME soon…" Mello said softly before kissing her forehead softly and stepping away.
"I will, FWIW… Take care… All three of you… Mail, Nate… Mihael…" R said casting sisterly looks to Matt and Near before giving Mello a gentle but loving smile.
-Welcome to the Wammy House Sequel Challenge RKK Version, DONE!-
Fun stuff:
L Lawliet (Ryuuzaki)/30 DOB/Oct 31 Five Eight
Mail Jeevas (Matt)/19 DOB/Feb 1 Five Four
Mihael Keehl (Mello)/20 DOB/Dec 13 Five Five
Nate River (Near)/18 DOB/Aug 24 Five Even
Q. Wammy (Watari)/76 DOB/May 1 Five Six
R Lawliet (Ryuuzaki)/20 DOB/Feb 14 Five Two
RKK: Done!
Mello: blushes bright red
ABW: AWWW She doesn't hate you after all!
RKK: Now WHO saw THAT ending?!
ABW: ME! Was told about it XD
L PB: Uhhh… not me, for once…
Mello: turns even brighter red
RKK: drags Mello to a closet and enters it with him, laughing evilly
Hey everyone! If you're reading this, Good for you! I wanted to make a SPECIAL side story to this sequel because of a dream I had about R and Mello! It will ALSO explain the ending! Have fun and I'm off to type the side story. Participate in my sequel challenge, I really want to see what you guys can do to my character! (only Aura has specific instructions on use of R because I know Aura IRL and I love her like R suddenly loves Mello!)
Luffs and DotA rox,
-RKK XD