The Wizard of OZ

by Kinoki

AU. Complete. Usagi finds herself in the land of OZ, and with her rag-tag team of friends, she battles a beautiful witch and falls into a relationship with a heartless man.

1. The Name Is Dorothy

The Wizard Of OZ

Chapter One - The Name Is Dorothy

-Scene 01: Trees, Forests, And Jobs; Oh My!-

.

'Where's Ami when you need her?' thought Usagi Tsukino, age seventeen; who was currently taking another stupid test. No doubt she'd get bad marks, she'd spent far too much time playing the new Sailor V game at the Crown Arcade. But her blue-haired friend was purposely avoiding her, attempting to teach Usagi to deal with things on her own. She was nearly an adult, so her friends had left on her own as of late. Stupid Luna had to be behind this, training her to become Queen.

'Mama is gonna kill me. Mama is gonna kill me. What kind of questions are these anyway?' she continued glancing at the papers on her desk.

"If a tree falls in a forest, does it make a sound? How would I know if I'm not there?" she said, making the mistake of speaking aloud.

"Miss Tsukino! This is a test! Stop talking! It distracts the other students and I'm still trying to figure out what to wear for my date tonight! And that's the only reason you're not getting detention!" yelled Haruna-sensei.

"Yes, ma'am. Miss Haruna-baka." Usagi muttered under her breath.

'Who'd wanna date you anyway?' she frowned, looking around at the few students left in the classroom, everyone else had already finished. What was wrong with her today? Sure, she'd been late to school, hadn't studied, her parents were harassing her day and night about getting a job. But she knew the real reason. Mamo-chan decided they should take a break, because her grades were so bad. It was all irrelevant, she was going to rule Crystal Tokyo someday. What need did she have to understand calculus or the history of Japan?

"Time is up, class. Leave your papers on my desk and get out!" Haruna-sensei ordered ten minutes later, thumbing through a BRIDES magazine. As if her date would propose! The lunatic.

'Damn! Only one question done. Well, this sucks.' Usagi had managed to answer the tree one. Although it wasn't much of an answer, it was still better than having written just her name with a doodle of a bunny. Usagi rushed off, the test laying on her desk, she didn't want to be home late. Her mother locked the door on her whenever she wasn't home before 5:00.

'If only my life was a bit more simple,' she thought walking home. 'This whole superhero thing is getting old. I'm not going to fight anymore until I become Queen.'

Usagi's brain couldn't hold but so much information. She'd reached her mental capacity at age ten, which she figured was lucky. If she was a genius like Ami, then everyone would expect her to do so much more. What did being book smart matter anyway, she had plenty of common sense and that would have to do. As she made her way home, she thought of her Mamo-chan. She missed him, even though when he broke it off they'd had a huge fight and she stormed out of his apartment. He'd even asked for the ring back, the special promise ring he'd given her before going abroad. She tried not to cry as she passed the arcade, taking a mere glance inside.

-Scene 02: See If I Care Anymore-

It was 3:58.

'I made good time!' Usagi thought, wishing she didn't have such a long commute to and from her school. Usagi stepped inside, only to see both of her parents giving her stern looks. This was never a good way to start the evening. She smiled nervously at them, slipping off her shoes and setting her bag down on the bench.

"Hey Mom. Dad, what are you doing home so early?" she asked, darting her eyes back and forth between the two. She was apparently, in some kind of trouble. Big trouble if her daddy actually took time off work. Well, fuck. They motioned for her to follow them, and sat together in the love seat. The tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife and fry it up. Silence reigned over the living room for a whole five minutes before Kenji finally spoke.

"You have some explaining to do, young lady! We told you to get a job! You're seventeen, so act like it! We gave you two weeks and so far you seem to have made no accomplishment whatsoever! Not to mention your grades have gone down the toilet, you're picking on Shingo too much, all of this nonsense needs to stop, AND-" he couldn't finish his sentence, his face was so purple. His eyes burned like the fires from Hell. This was not good.

"I did look! But no good paying jobs are available, I guess. Damn, we're in a recession, it's harder than it looks, Daddy! Be reasonable!" Usagi whined. She was not going to stand for their behavior. How could they treat their daughter like this? Not to mention the good kid of the family! No, it didn't matter to them that she'd risked her life more than once to save the world, no. Shingo was an angel, not sneaking out in the middle of the night to smoke pot with his stupid friends. She'd done him the favor of not mentioning these things, and he turned his back on her.

OK, so they didn't know she was Sailor Moon and her parents didn't know about Shingo's bad behavior, and all that other stuff, but that didn't mean they could just assume she was stupid and lazy. She'd actually applied at several places, but they'd either turned her down, found someone better, or never called her back. Times were tough, to say the least.

Her first choice had been the Arcade but Motoki had it all covered and his family didn't make enough money to hire anyone else anyway.

"How dare you disrespect your father like that! Usagi, you, from this moment are grounded until further notice! You are going to wake up with time to get to school, you will bring your grades up, then you will come home, do your homework and go straight to bed! No dinner for a week!" Ikuko yelled, holding up a ladle threateningly.

"Why don't you try and make me! I'm sick of you ragging on me all the time! You're worse than Rei and Luna put together, and I'm sick of you locking me out just because I make a bad grade! I do try, but you never notice, and why should you when its obvious I'm the scapegoat and always will be! You always yell at me for every little thing, no matter what it is!" Usagi snapped, standing with her hands balled into fists.

Her parents seemed shocked for a moment, it was rare if ever that Usagi talked back to them. But they managed to pull themselves together, although not before her next comment:

"I hate you!" she screamed. With those words said Usagi ran upstairs to her bedroom, with tears in her eyes. They weren't her usual loud and whiny waterfalls, but the kind that made you tremble and want something to hold. She'd lied, she didn't really hate her Mom and Dad. She was gone before she noticed her mother crying, or her father looking completely heartbroken.

"I do hate them, I do hate them. I hate them!" she called out, as if attempting to convincing herself the words were true. But she knew in her heart that they were not, and now it was too late to take them back. She threw herself on her bed, and reached over to lock her window. Luna would not be allowed in tonight, Usagi knew that all she'd get was a lecture, when she needed comfort. She considered sneaking out, it wasn't very late and she knew her parents wouldn't be bothering her for a good while. She felt tired, and decided to take a short nap before leaving.

When she woke up, it was dark outside, and possibly cold too. She went to her closet and pulled out jeans and a brown cable knit sweater. Slipping them on, she tiptoed to her door and peeked out. There was noise coming from the kitchen, mama was probably putting up the dishes. Papa would be asleep in front of the TV already, and Shingo was either out or in his room playing video games. Carefully she made her way down the stairs, taking care to skip the squeaky step. Just like that, she was out the door. She felt free and worried at the same time, knowing something could always go wrong. She checked the window, making sure nobody had moved. Satisfied, she continued on her way.

Usagi walked down a familiar street in Juuban, a few steps from the corner she always managed to bumped into Mamoru. She wondered if he'd be there again. Probably not, yesterday he hadn't been there either. She had to make sure, the same way she did every day for the past two months.

'Now or never, what could happen?' she thought. She decided to run, too scared to move any slower. Would fate be on her side this time, and let her see him again? It was highly unlikely, but she was almost there.

Usagi smacked right into a familiar, large body, which responded with a loud grunt.

'Mamo-chan!' her Mamo-chan!

"You should watch where you're going, Usagi." he said coolly. He backed up and brushed himself off, like she was dirt. Then he just left her there. She sat on her butt, on the sidewalk. She suddenly felt very cold, and very angry.

Swiftly, she stood and came at him. She'd never hit anyone unless she was Sailor Moon, and when she punched him in the face she felt the shock of pain and satisfaction at the same time. His recovery was not so quick, and a look of confusion marred his usually perfect features. She wasn't going to give him time to respond, and with that she turned and ran.

Into the street, with her dark clothes and golden blond hair shining like a beacon. Unfortunately, at this time of night the intersection she'd found herself in was busy. This was not good, and definitely not smart. She barely turned to face the car coming at her. In the distance, she heard a scream of terror. Usagi wasn't certain if it was her own or someone else. She felt the slam of something hit her, like concrete. Before she blacked out, she imagined what her bloody, mangled body must look like. It had to be a full-on collision, she wondered what happened to the driver. She hoped he was okay, and that nobody else was hurt. She'd never thought her death would be pretty, anyway. With that, a tear rolled down her cheek.

-Scene 03: The Witch Is Dead-

'Where the hell am I?' were the first thoughts that came to Usagi's head. Everything was fuzzy, including her vision. Her head ached, and she rose a hand up to cradle it. It hurt to remember what she'd been doing, or where she'd been. But slowly, things came into focus. She realized she was lying down, a bright blue sky above her. It felt warm and bright. She sighed dreamily, something told her this could be Heaven, and she didn't mind lying down so much. She forced herself to sit up after a while, and looking around she realized one thing: she was not in Kansas anymore, or Japan for that matter.

Where was she? Oh, but there were such pretty flowers! They were everywhere, in all colors, shapes, and sizes! Their scents seemed to dance around Usagi as she got up, although reluctantly. In front of her was an odd looking village, with tiny houses and tall staircases leading to even smaller houses. A beautiful, sparkling river wrapped itself around one side, and ran away until Usagi couldn't make out which way it went. She looked up, and saw a bubble in the sky. It was very pretty, and seemed to be growing. Before she knew it, the bubble was right in front of her. It was pink, and in the sunlight it glittered. Usagi watched as it melted away, revealing a beautiful woman in a teal colored gown, and a mirror in hand.

Who could this be? Why, none other than the Good Witch of the North, Michiru. The woman radiated with elegance, and Usagi instantly liked her.

"Are you a good witch, or a bad witch?" were the first words to come out of her mouth, and her voice was as calm as the sea at the setting of the sun.

"Sorry? I'm no witch. I'm just Tsukino Usagi from Japan. Um., could you by any chance tell me where I am?" a confused Bunny replied.

"You're not a witch?" she asked, a puzzled look crossing her pretty face. "Then how did you kill the Wicked Witch of the East, Dorothy, with your odd, metal object?" she pointed with the mirror to a spot behind Usagi.

She turned to see a car. A familiar red car. Possibly the same one she saw come at her in a flash and kill her. Ah, she had it figured out, so she was dead. Either that, or she was just dreaming. Usagi smiled, it was rare she had a dream where knew it for what it was.

'Any minute now I'll wake up!' she thought happily.

"Well Usagi Tsukino from Japan, I can tell you that you most definitely are not dead, nor are you dreaming. This is all very real. Now, how did you get here?" Michiru asked again, holding the mirror to her chest. Usagi blinked, and looked back at the car again.

"Are you sure?"

Michiru blinked and tilted her head. She stepped forward and reached a hand to hold Usagi.

"For a girl who fights monsters with a magic crystal, you're quite the skeptic."

Usagi nodded slowly, the woman made sense. It had to be real, she pinched herself to be sure. It hurt, but just a little, she didn't want to get a bruise.

"Well, I ran into my ex-boyfriend whom I was supposed to get married to. Then I ran into the street and got hit by a car." she spoke as the woman gently led her away from the vehicle. "That's all I remember, really. Do you think I'm crazy, have I gone around the bend?"

"I see. No, you're not crazy, my dear. Everyone you have said is at it happened. Allow me to introduce myself, I am Michiru the Good Witch of the North. And you are a hero! For with your 'car' you have killed the Wicked Witch of the East! Now the munchkins may rejoice and be free once again!" Michiru spoke with a kind, grateful smile.

"Munchkins? Sounds like some kind of food!" laughed Usagi.

'What a weird place!'

"Yes, I guess it does sound a bit like an object you'd eat but they're just little people. Anyway, the witch that ruled here is dead and so you are a heroine! I'm sure the munchkins will all thank you gratefully."

"Wait, heroine? That's not even my car! It just hit me and I wound up here! I thought witches were ugly. You said you were a witch and you're beautiful!" she exclaimed, rather exasperated. They now stood several feet within the small town.

"Oh, only bad witches are ugly, silly! I'm a good witch! Have no fear of me." she explained to Bunny.

Before Usagi got another word out a funny little sound was heard.

Hee hee.

"What was that?" she asked somewhat freaked out.

What she'd heard sounded like some sort of laughter. Hee hee.

"Oh, those are the munchkins Usagi. They live here in Munchkin-land." Michiru laughed, her smile dazzled Usagi.

"Munchkins are the little people who live here. Come out little munchkins! Come out, come out!" and with that little people popped out of the flowers and bushes. They looked so cute to Usagi! She was even more surprised when they broke out into song:

Michiru
"Come out, come out,
Wherever you are,
And meet the young lady who fell from a star.
She fell from the sky;
She fell very far,
And Japan, she says, is the name of the star."

Munchkins
"Japan, she says, is the name of the star."

Michiru
"She brings you good news,
Or haven't you heard?
When she fell out of Japan,
A miracle occurred."

Usagi
"It really was no miracle.
What happened was just this:
The wind began to switch,
The car to pitch,
And suddenly the wheels started to unhitch.
Just then, the witch
Came flying on her broomstick,
Thumbing for a hitch."

Munchkins
"And oh, what happened then was rich:"

"The house began to pitch.
The windshield took a slitch.
It landed on the Wicked Witch in the middle of a ditch,
Which was not a healthy situation for
The Wicked Witch.
...Who began to twitch and was
Reduced to just a stitch
Of what was once the Wicked Witch."

With that Usagi applauded the little people. Sure, their voices sounded pretty annoying but Michiru was very good and made up for their lack of talent.

"So now, Usagi, you say you are merely a girl from 'Japan'. We have established the fact that you are not a witch. So how may we reward you?" asked the Mayor of the City, Relena, who walked up to Usagi; she barely reached her shoulders.

"Well, I'd like to get home, if you don't mind. This place is nice and all but to hear you guys talk is torture to my ears." she said plainly.

The munchkins gave her odd looks. What was wrong with their voices? They whispered among each other.

"We would help you if we could, but we cannot help you, for none of us know where this 'Japan' is. But feel free to ask for anything else!" spoke Relena. Usagi groaned, what stupid, useless munchkins.

'No problem, Tsukino! You're Sailor Moon, you can figure this out.' mindfully, she reached up to where her brooch normally hung. Then she realized that she wasn't wearing her uniform, and had left it when she changed her clothes.

Another munchkin stepped up; he had long, platinum blond hair. He introduced himself as Milliardo, the coroner.

"We must check and make sure the witch is dead! Come come!" he skipped off to the car and inspected the two legs that stuck out from beneath it. After making said inspection Milliardo ran off to some sort of house, two minutes later he stepped out to see everyone waiting eagerly for his answer.

He then produced a scroll. He unrolled it to show a 'Certificate of Death'.

He put his words in song: "She's not only merely dead - She's really most sincerely dead.". Cries of joy were heard throughout Munchkin-land!

Once again, everyone began to sing and dance around Usagi:

Everyone
Ding dong! The witch is dead.
Which old witch?
The Wicked Witch!
Ding dong! The wicked witch is dead.
Wake up, you sleepyheads.
Rub your eyes, get out of bed.
Ding dong! The Wicked Witch is dead.
She's gone where the goblins go,
Below! Below, below, yo-ho!
Let's open up and sing
And ring the bells out,
Ding dong, the merry-o!
Sing it high; sing it low.
Let them know the Wicked Witch is dead!

'These guys like to sing, don't they?' Usagi thought. Merry and all she was, she just really wanted to get out of this song-filled freak fest. She really needed to see someone, anyone would do! Luna, any of her friends-she wanted to be with them. The munchkins said that they didn't know how to get her back, would she ever?

'Wait! Why would I want to go back? So I can have Mom and Dad get on me again? Then there's Rei, and Luna's nagging!' her thoughts there confirmed that she wouldn't miss any of them. Besides, it was best not to get emotional in these sort of affairs.

Three pretty little ballerinas danced out in a circle made up of the midgets:

Makoto, Hotaru, Hilde: The Lullaby League
We represent the Lullaby League,
The Lullaby League,
The Lullaby League.
And in the name of the Lullaby League,
We wish to welcome you
To Munchkinland.

Next came a small group of boys, they had that sort of 'Tough Guy' look going for them, very fifties:

Duo, Quatre, Wufei: The Lollipop Guild
We represent the Lollipop Guild,
The Lollipop Guild,
The Lollipop Guild.
And in the name of the Lollipop Guild,
We wish to welcome you
To Munchkinland.

Munchkins
We welcome you to Munchkinland,
Tra-la-la-la-la-la-la-la.
We welcome you to Munchkinland,
Tra-la-la-la-la-la-la.

Relena
From now on you'll be history.
Setsuna
You'll be his-
Haruka
You'll be his-
Relena
You'll be history.
Everyone
And we will glorify your name.
Relena
You will be a bust.
Haruka
Be a bust-
Setsuna
Be a bust-
Everyone
In the Hall of Fame!

There was a sudden explosion of flames, and everyone ducked down, screaming. A rust colored cloud had appeared and billowed out, stretching upwards. Then a woman appeared, an ugly piece of shit looking thing-

Oh, who am I kidding? This woman was decked out in a dark red and purple robe, broom in hand, she had long raven colored hair and violet colored eyes, she was 'drop-dead gorgeous' as some would say. This was none other than the Wicked Witch of the West- Rei! Her evil cackle echoed throughout the city.

"Who killed my sister? Who killed the Witch of the East? Was it you?" she spoke, poking a slender finger in Usagi's direction.

"No, n-no. It was an accident. I didn't m-mean to kill anybody." she stuttered, flustered by the wickedness that oozed from her beautiful form.

"Well, my little pretty, I can cause accidents, too!" she cackled, sending everyone screaming with fright, except for one witch by the name of Michiru.

"My, if it isn't the Wicked Witch of the West, Rei! Nice of you to drop in!" she called to the evil witch who was ready to slit Usagi's throat.

'OK, forget what I said earlier! I wanna go home!' she thought frantically, things were turning for the worst! She couldn't even protect herself. But at least Michiru was on her side!

"Are you forgetting something, Rei? The Moon Locket, perhaps?", asked the Good Witch.

"Oh! How could I forget!" with that she rushed over to the car, earning little squeaks of fright from the munchkins and a new path made by those who wanted to get out of her way. Crossing this witch was not a good idea.

She looked under the car to see the dead body of Dorothy, the only thing left of her face were two gray eyebrows. Attached to the front bow of her hideous maroon and pink outfit was a heart-shaped locket. Even under the car, in the dark, the gold shone. Rei reached under for it, only to have it suddenly disappear! Then Dorothy's body shriveled up and became nothing but dust.

"Who took it!" she cried, gasping. "Who took my moon locket?" she ran off to where Usagi and Michiru were standing. What she saw made her angrier than Mars on a really bad day.

Hanging from Usagi's neck was a golden locket, small pearls hid under the bottom, and glittered in the sunlight. Usagi gasped, that hadn't been there before. It was definitely similar to her brooch, but wings were attached to the sides and it wasn't red.

"My locket! Give that to me, you little brat!" the witch screeched, holding her broom in a threatening manner.

'Usagi, don't let her have it.' Michiru whispered harshly into Usagi's ear. 'The locket has great power, otherwise she wouldn't want it so badly!'

"Well, I'm sorry but, finders keepers!" said the senshi, deciding to follow the good witch's advice.

"You little bitch! How dare you defy me! You will pay dearly! And your little buns too! Those stupid things look like spaghetti and meatballs! I'll eat them for dinner!" she promised, once again using her most evil cackle. It was clear to Usagi that this woman was going to have a really bad sore throat later, and possibly lose her voice.

"Oh no, you don't!" declared Michiru, who stood in front of Usagi, blocking her from Rei's view with her wings and puffy gown, never faltering for a second. "Begone you have no power here! Unless she were to give it to you, you will not have that locket! Now begone and leave us in peace!"

"Well, you can be sure I'll be back for you my pretty, better watch your back!" she cackled, yet again, and the dusty red cloud appeared once more. The boom followed, shaking the houses and scaring the munchkins. Usagi jumped, and when it cleared there was nothing left of the Wicked Witch of the West, Rei.

"Oh! I hate the smell of sulfur." Michiru said, breaking the strings of fright that lingered in the air. "She does know how to stir up trouble, doesn't she?" with that she walked off, about to leave, when Usagi stopped her.

"Michiru! Don't tell me you're leaving? What if the Wicked Witch comes back? How do I get home? It's scary here! I thought you said that bad witches were ugly!" she was freaking out again.

"Calm down child, I must go, other things must be done, she won't come back here again, surely afraid of the car that killed her sister. If you wish to get home then follow the yellow brick road! It will lead you to the Silver Crystal City, where a wizard lives, I'm sure he can get you home, dear. As for Rei, well, it just goes to show what money and plastic surgery can do!" she laughed at her own joke.

"The yellow brick road? Are you serious? A wizard can get me home?" she asked.

"Yes dear, now start there.", she pointed her mirror at the circle where a yellow brick road spiraled around two other roads. They led off somewhere else. "Good luck, dear, you'll need it to get there, it's a ways away but I'm sure you can make it." and with that Michiru the Good Witch of the North made the aquamarine colored bubble appear around her with a flourish of her mirror and floated away until it was no more.

The munchkins giggled, remembering what Rei had said about Usagi's hair, Relena stepped forward to Usagi, getting in a few words before Usagi's journey started.

"Follow the yellow brick road, Usagi. Good luck to you! And may the Munchkin God be with you and help you in your time of need!" she spoke, Usagi raised an eyebrow. Munchkin God?

Usagi looked at the brick road with disdain, at least it didn't seem to be a difficult task.

"Follow the yellow brick road? If that's all, I can do it." Usagi decided as she stepped on the first brick. She followed, followed, followed it until it opened up into a large, long, winding road past fields of corn and some other stuff:

Munchkins
Follow the Yellow brick Road,
Follow the Yellow brick Road,
Follow, follow, follow, follow
Follow the Yellow brick Road.
Follow the Yellow brick,
Follow the Yellow brick,
Follow the Yellow brick Road.
You're off to see the Wizard,
The Wonderful Wizard of Oz.
You'll find he is a whiz of a Wiz,
If ever a Wiz there was.
If ever oh ever a Wiz there was,
A Wizard of Oz is one because,
Because, because, because, because, because,
Because of the wonderful things he does.
You're off to see the Wizard,
The Wonderful Wizard of Oz!

"Well, bye then! You freak singing midgets with annoying voices!" she called behind her, skipping off down the road.

Luckily they didn't hear her as their merry singing drowned out her rather insulting words:

Everyone
We're off to see the Wizard,
The Wonderful Wizard of Oz.
We hear he is a whiz of a Wiz if ever a Wiz there was!
If ever oh ever a Wiz there was,
A Wizard of Oz is one because,
Because, because, because, because, because,
Because of the wonderful things he does.
We're off to see the Wizard,
The Wonderful Wizard of Oz!

Usagi kept on, tuning out the high pitched voices, and instinctively reached a hand up to the locket.

-Scene 04: If I Only Had A Brain-

Usagi walked down the long, yellow brick road for what seemed like hours. It probably had been about seven or eight, maybe. But it had been her decision to go to this Silver Crystal City. If there really was a wizard there, she'd get on her knees and beg to be sent home. She had to, or she'd no doubt be killed by that wicked witch. Not a good idea. On the way she wondered what she'd do with the Moon Locket that decided to tag along. She wondered if she called out something like "Moon Power!" or "Locket Power!" or something like that if she'd become Sailor Moon. It was a lot like her old one.

So she did. Not much of a response. Except for the fact that it started to glow and with a pop!, her outfit changed. She now wore a white sailor top lined with navy blue, with no sleeves. A white pleated skirt wrapped itself around her hips, and matching ballet flats covered her feet. The locket now clung to the small bow at her chest.

She wondered when she'd get to eat, and if she shouted "Moon Power!" again her clothes would go back to normal, or change into Cinderella's gown.

But she was starving! There was nothing but long rows of corn and she didn't like corn. It reminded her of carrots, which she didn't like either.

"I spy with my little eye; something yellow, green, and yucky. Corn!" she'd also decided to play I Spy. Not much fun when you play it by yourself. She imagined herself posing for a portrait with fields of corn behind her, very boring. If she knew what was coming then she'd know she would no longer be bored. Alone. Bored and alone.

But she didn't and so she decided it would be entertaining to pick off an ear and throw it at the inconspicuous scarecrow hanging from a pole. It responded by crying out in pain, or what Usagi could best describe as pain when you were a scarecrow.

"Ow! Who threw that?" Usagi's blue eyes grew large, realizing she wasn't alone. This was creepy, there could be a pervert hiding behind the fence. She looked around and even stood on her toes, there was nothing but the scarecrow and a pair of crows chilling on it's shoulders.

"How strange." she commented as she passed the scarecrow and came to a large fork in the road. It was large because there were three branching off, instead of the usual two, and they all lead somewhere. Which way was to Silver Crystal City?

"Is it right? Left? Forward?" Usagi asked herself, not expecting an answer.

"You could go right." said the voice again. Maybe Usagi wasn't imagining things, she looked around only to see the ugly scarecrow...which was now pointing to the right.

"What? That's funny...I could have sworn that stupid thing's arms were by it's side." Usagi spoke aloud.

'Is this someone's idea of a practical joke?'

"You could probably go left, but I don't know much good it would do, I guess it depends on where you're headed." said the voice again, now sounding distinctly feminine.

'This is getting creepy...' she thought, stealing another glance she noticed the scarecrow's other arm was pointing conveniently to the left.

"Or you could go forward, backward, up, down, or both!" it was the scarecrow! She'd seen it's mouth move! Holy corn! It's arms now crossed over the other.

"Did...you just talk?" Bunny asked the supposed inanimate decoration used to scare away crows. She climbed over the fence and walked up to it.

"I suppose I did." it said. "I was just trying to help. And I am bored. It's not much fun just hanging about all day. It was a nice change to have you come along. So where are you going?" it asked, sounding very polite and conversational.

"Oh, well thanks for your help but seeing as you're confusing the hell out of me, it isn't really help at all. Does that pole hurt? Are you a person or a real scarecrow? I didn't know they could talk." an amazed Usagi exclaimed.

"It is a bit uncomfortable," it said sadly. "I've been here for such a long time. And yes, I'm a real scarecrow. Not very scary though, seeing as the crows just come and go whenever they please, eating the corn. I don't mind though. I like the company! Now, I don't know if all scarecrows can talk, I don't pretend to know such things. I just do." it said.

"Oh. Well, I'm headed to some Silver Crystal City to see a wizard! My name is Usagi, and I'm going back to Japan!" she said with a bow, to be polite.

"I'm Minako the Scarecrow! It's nice to meet you! I'd bow too but I'm sort of stuck here. Also, I'm a girl scarecrow if you couldn't tell. Some say that scarecrows can only be guys but I think that is very sexist!" she declared.

Usagi thought about letting Minako the Scarecrow down. It couldn't hurt could it? She noticed that Minako did have long straw hair too. There was also a red ribbon tying some of it back. It looked sort of cute, in a Raggedy Ann kind of way.

"What do you say to me taking you down? I wouldn't like being hung on a pole for such a long time either." besides, Usagi liked Minako. She seemed nice, and might be of some help to her getting to Silver Crystal City.

Minako nodded furiously, straw falling all around Usagi from her hair. So Usagi got to work, scaring off the crows and unhooking Minako's back from the post. With a sort of plop!, she rolled down the hilly terrain, under the fence, and onto the road. Apparently, hanging there had done quite a bit of damage, seeing as she could barely get herself up. When she finally did, Usagi watched from the fence, the scarecrow had trouble walking. It was more like she was trying to limp instead.

She fell over after twisting her legs up.

"You know, maybe we should take a different approach, you're made of straw but you do have feet, I imagine it must be hard to walk." Usagi said, pointed to the booties the scarecrow wore.

"Yes, it is, but what to do? Could I ride on your back? Hey, I can try flying!" Minako said.

"OK, no." Usagi sighed, smacking a hand to her forehead. "Seriously? Just use your damn brain. Maybe then you won't sound so stupid." Minako bowed her sack head, then looked at Usagi as if with puppy-dog eyes.

"I haven't got a brain...only straw." Minako sighed sadly.

"How can you talk if you haven't got a brain?" Usagi asked sympathetically, rubbing her chin.

"I don't know, but some people without brains do an awful lot of talking...don't they?" she replied rather thoughtfully.

"Yes, I guess you're right." Usagi said, hopping over the fence and helping Minako to her feet. They practiced walking as if Minako were a baby, after what felt like hours, she finally got it.

She joyously sang her part:

Minako the Scarecrow
I could while away the hours
Conferring with the flowers
Consulting with the rain.
And my head I'd be a-scratchin'
While my thoughts were busy hatchin'
If I only had a brain.

I'd unravel every riddle
For any individdle
In trouble or in pain
With the thoughts I'd be a-thinkin'
I could be another Lincoln
If I only had a brain.

Oh I could tell you why
The ocean's near the shore
I could think of things I'd never thunk before
And then I'd sit, and think some more.

I would not be just a nothin'
My head all full of stuffin'
My heart all full of pain
I would laugh and I'd be merry
Life would be a dinglederry
If I only had brain.

Usagi applauded enthusiastically, for someone without a brain she had pretty good voice.

"Let's go to Silver Crystal City!" Minako the Scarecrow cheered, punching her straw-made fist in the air. She looped arms with Usagi and they made straight for the Silver Crystal City! They were on their way and Usagi now had someone to talk to, even though she was a brainless, blond sack of hay.

.

10/2011: Yet again have I completely revised one of my stories. I just look back and feel so embarrassed for myself, thinking that at age fourteen I could write good shit. Well, maybe I could, but now it's better shit. Enjoy!