Disclaimer: I don't own a bit of this.
Formerly unpublished! I wrote this when I was a wee little kid. You can laugh at my very first fanfiction story! It's bad, real bad. This thing makes me cringe every time I read it. Now it's here for your enjoyment!
Chill Out
By Diana Moon Glampers
The sound of music was in the air, wafting across the summer fields. There were people, thousands of people, all sitting together and enjoying what they loved. Peace was everywhere. No one was getting hurt. No one was in pain. It was a glorious moment for everyone, where they could put aside their differences and enjoy art.
There was one person, who was there that was not enjoying this celebration of music and peace. His name was Mario and he wasn't supposed to be here.
"This isn't right." He said. He looked at his map of all warp pipes.
"I should be at the castle. Princess! She is waiting for me! I gotta get her cake!"
Mario wandered through the crowds of people. They were everywhere. The crowds were dense. Getting from one place to another was difficult. There were people, being dirty, having fun, and blocking the paths. People playing in the mud… People making out with each other… People flailing around on the ground… People standing around with no clothes…
"All these people…" Mario said.
He was freaking out. He felt so small next to all of them, like there was a huge world. He was only part of it. He was just another person in a sea of people who contributes to an even greater sea of people and rain it rains people to make more people and… Whoa.
"I… I'm supposed to be the hero. I… I can't be this small!" Mario said.
He always kept a few mushrooms in this pockets for emergencies. He grabbed one and took a bite out of it.
"Cool shrooms, man."
A man walked up to Mario. He was a tall guy with a mustache, one that looked kind of like Mario's. He was wearing a colorful shirt and nothing else, save for some mud in some places. I hope it was mud, anyway.
"Mind if I have some?" The man asked.
He walked toward Mario with his hands out, as though he were expecting to be given something.
Mario recognized this. He'd seen things come at him with their hands out before. They were bowser's minions, out to get him and stop him from saving the princess!
"A trap!" Mario thought as he realized what was going on. He'd walked into a huge crowd of enemies! He was surrounded! What to do? What to do?
"Ha!" Mario shouted. He punched the man in the colorful shirt with his mighty fists. The man fell back. He coughed and started bleeding from his mouth.
"Die! Die!" Mario screamed. He slammed his fists into the man's body. He mutilated him, breaking bones and tearing skin with each blow. The man cried. He curled up into a ball and…
"Hey, chill."
It was a woman, the man in the colorful shirt's girlfriend. She grabbed Mario's hand and tried to get him to stop.
"We're here for love, not war." She said.
Another man walked over to Mario, the girl's other boyfriend. Free love.
"Whoa, whoa. What's going on here?" He said.
"Bowser! He has the princess! You're all his minions! You're…"
The mutilated man spoke up.
"I just wanted some mushrooms, man. You could've said no."
Mario looked around. He saw everyone else. They were smell, muddy, sweaty, and disgusting, but they weren't trying to hurt anyone. They were smiling, dancing, and enjoying themselves. They were hurting no one. Then, he looked over at the gross man he had beaten. Mario pulled another mushroom from his pocket. He extended his hand to the man and gave it to him.
"I'm sorry." He said.
The man got up.
"Hey, you don't have to be sorry." He said.
He took a bite out of the mushroom and his wounds healed.
"Whoa. This stuff is good. Where did you get it?"
"A block." Mario said.
The man took another bite of the mushroom and grew. He grew huge, larger than anyone else at the concert and when he sat down, he crushed the whole world.
The END!