Author's Note: You might recognize the extended simile that opens the story up. I confess. I stole it from myself. It was in a one shot that I wrote and took down because, namely, I hated it very much. So, this one is better, and still features the same characters! Hopefully you'll like it better. This isn't really strict-verse, but it's not AU. It's light, so none of the drama from the thired Potter book will be in this. (Oh, darn.) It's an Angelina-Wood friendship fic, with some Bell/Wood and some Angie/Fred on the side. And lots and lots of rejection for poor Lee Jordan. Enjoy.
Disclaimer: I don't own HP. Nuts.
Heir To the Insanity
Chapter One: Denial
Angelina Johnson had just finished telling me that I was as blind as Colin Creevey's latest photography subject matter, as deaf as Snape when it came to talking your way out of a detention, and as dim witted as Percy Weasley when it came to shagging.
My face contorted in disgust and she howled with laughter which I found to be very annoying. Angelina was a very funny girl. Crass, bold, and sometimes downright vile, but none the less very funny. "Why?" I asked, slapping my palm to my forehead, pulling a face of agony and letting my hand slide down to my chin.
"Why what? Oliver, look. This is your last year. You've got more on your plate than just the Cup," Angelina said, suddenly getting very serious. She cracked her wrists and the joints in her fingers and I jumped in the seat of my broom, shuddering at the sickening sounds that ensued.
"I have not. The Cup is all that matters! Do you think Flint or Davies or Diggory is concerned about anything else other than that?" I stressed, trying figure out why she didn't understand the importance of winning.
"Yes, I do. Flint is busy trying to squeeze more favors from the little bugger Malfoy, Davies is trying to cram in a ton of extra classes to enhance his N.E.W.T.S. scores, and Diggory is poncing around being Head Boy," Angelina replied smartly, swerving around on her broom to face me.
I scowled heavily at her remark, but was nonetheless still determined to win the Cup. This was absolutely ridiculous. Angelina really didn't have her priorities straight sometimes. I saw the smirk that was tugging at the corner of her lips and that could only mean one thing…
"He's too old for you," I said shortly, flying towards the ground.
"What?!" she snapped, flying after me.
I was too low to the ground for her to cut me off, but try and let something stupid like that stop her. Inevitably, from my spot on the ground, I regretted showing her how to successfully elbow someone off their broom. As her Captain, it was my duty. As my Chaser, she should know better.
"Cripes!" I groaned, rolling over on my side and cradling my numb arm.
Our brooms clattered with an almighty thud into the doorways that led to the locker rooms. I laid there for a stretch, wondering when I was going to be able to feel my arm again. As a Keeper, it was fairly bloody important to my life. I finally managed scramble up awkwardly to go retrieve our Nimbus 1001's with Angelina hot on my heels.
"I am not in love with Cedric Diggory!" she yelled after me, matching me stride for stride. I hated women that could do that.
"Sure. All my Chasers are in love with that git. You lot are incurable." I said crossly, trying to fight a smile. Angelina worked very hard to convince herself and others that she was definitely not in love with Cedric Diggory, especially since two of her best mates were also infatuated with the smarmy bloke.
It beat going out with Lee Jordan by a long shot.
I tried to get her to look into one of the Twins, but she said that she didn't think of them that way. "Oliver, I am not in love with Cedric Diggory," she repeated, hoisting her broom over her shoulder.
I sniggered. She slapped me. I tried to stifle my sniggering. She slapped me again, just for good measure.
"Oliver, just answer me. Have you given any thought as to who you're going to pick for Captain next year?" she asked calmly.
I choked and snorted. She gave me a look, and I rolled my eyes, a funny heated sensation rising in my stomach at her words. "What's this you're banging on about?" I replied mildly, trying not to hear her.
"Oliver Wood, you're as blind as Colin Cree-"she began impatiently before I cut her off by clapping a gloved hand over her mouth.
"I know," I said sternly as she arched her eyebrow in response.
"Merlin that leather smells," she muttered, following me into the Gryffindor locker room. We each went to our respective lockers to put up our gear. Mine was in a separate, cozy room. Because I'm the bloody Captain and I'm fantastic. Something gave me a sense of pride as I strutted around, putting my gear away and just generally admiring the room itself. It'd been a long time since I had. I wasn't ready to give it up, and Angelina's nutty suggestion that I should look into the next Captain was absolute tosh. Why I still – er… was graduating this year…
"Oy! Angelina!" I screeched, running out of the room as fast as I could.
She slammed her locker door shut, and in her eyes there reflected the uncertainty of banging it back open to interrupt my sprint. As it was, I was glad she kept the thing shut.
"This- I -I-I'm not ready!" I puffed, jerking forward as I came to a halt, slapping my palms to my knees as my chest heaved.
"Well, I wouldn't think so, Wood. I mean, this is your first time and all-" Angelina said slowly, looking down at me and wincing when she realized her words.
A sickening fit of yowling laughter burst out and Angelina winced again. She gave a halfway apologetic smile and stalked out of the lockers rooms to drag the Weasley Twins in by their scarlet red ears with Lee Jordan scuttling in after them, fighting to contain his own whoops of mirth.
I'm just so glad the rest of the team wasn't there to witness my utter mortification.
"Shut it you two," Angelina growled, trying not to smirk. Lee Jordan fell to the ground and rolled over on his side, wiping away a stray tear. "You know that's not what I meant!"
"Wood's first time!" George gasped, yelping when Angelina pinched his ear. He laughed anyway.
"Course he's made it loads of time, haven't you Wood?" Fred added, prizing Angelina's fingers from his ear. It was now so scarlet, that it resembled the same shade of our bloody house colour. I could feel a hot, prickling sensation crawling up my neck. The truth was that I was still quite innocent. In many, many ways.
Cripes. I hadn't even had a proper kiss.
The lack of my immediate response left an air of complete disbelief in the room. Twiddling my thumbs came to mind, but would of course help me in no way whatsoever. Angelina stared at me, wide-eyed and incredulous, much in the same fashion of everyone else, (save for the fact that she had the decency to blush.)
George was horrified. "My whole life has been a lie…" he trailed off dramatically as Fred nodded in mute agreement.
Lee was the only one with enough bollocks to make a smart comment.
"Oy. That's hilarious."
I scowled heavily and thought about stuffing Lee's enchanted megaphone up his arse. Noting that it was nowhere in sight, I volunteered my boot. Angelina yanked me back just as the tip of my shoe was about to collide with Lee's buggering arse, and looked at me reproachfully. "Oliver, don't. Honestly, you boys are so petty sometimes."
I scowled at her, too, rubbing my backside as I got up from the floor. She hesitated for a moment before picking up her gear and leaving without a word, shaking her head as she brushed her long braids off of her shoulders. Fred and George shuffled over to where I was hunched over, and gently tugged on my sleeve.
"Why did you lie to us, mate?" George asked, still crestfallen.
Lee snorted. "You never asked," I replied shortly. This was the last thing I needed. Angelina had so wholly upset me with this nonsense about picking the next Captain, and now all the chaps were in full wind of my personal life. Or um, lack thereof.
"Look, it's nothing you can't fix."
"I don't have a problem!" I insisted flatly, crossing my arms petulantly. Three blank stares assaulted me.
"Yes, you do," they chorused, and very slowly at that, so my tiny "I only love Quidditch" brain could understand. A spark erupted behind Fred's eyes, and all too soon, the same spark caught on in George as well. An evil smirk crossed Lee's dark features. "But don't worry, Oliver, denial is just the first step. There's plenty more that comes after that."
Bollocks. I was in for a hell of a year.