I can't escape you, even in my dreams. You haunt my dreams like a sinister ghost, always so seemingly friendly at the time. I am at peace with these dreams though, because they let me experience everything that I have so tragically lost. They let me experience the feeling of falling in love once again, let me feel your warm embraces, and let me soak it all in one last time. I get to remember how it was when you would kiss me on the forehead, as a simple reminder you loved me. I get to remember what it is like to suddenly be lost in your eyes and yet never feel more loved than I do in that instance. It lets me rest my head on your chest, closing my eyes as I listen to your warm heart beat. It lets me feel the butterflies that race through my veins, tingling at your gentle touch. It lets me truly see what I have lost, and what I never quite took advantage of in the past. But then I wake up. Then I am brutally awoken and my beautiful reminisces is shattered. All in a matter of minutes I shake it away from me, put on smile, and say good morning to the world again.

I just miss everything simple thing that I never realized I loved until now. Like the way your lips felt against mine on a winter morning. They were always so cold, with a moist texture and soft to the touch. I miss the way that after a while, your kiss would turn into a smile that left a smile on my face in return. I miss the way your hand could cover my lower back and hold me close to yours in a firm grip. The feeling of your skin right up against mine, and when our foreheads would touch I could feel your even breathing; I wish I took advantage of these things. I miss your smell. I find myself walking in a random place and someone will walk by wearing your old cologne, and I instantly think of you. I remember how silly I was for thinking that there was such a thing as something smelling better. I miss the way that your smile would grow whenever I put my arms around your neck, and the way that your eyes would crinkle after you said something sweet. I'm suffocated by the memories of your teasing. I remember the way that you would start at my outer ear, slowly, passionately, kissing your way down, inching closer and closer to my lips, but never quite reaching them. That was always my job. Sometimes I find myself wondering if you remember the cautiousness of our first date. Everything was so new, like some undiscovered world waiting for us when we were ready. We moved slowly, and carefully, with a sense of intimacy and utter connection that first love brings out in us all. We were timid, but filled with the rush of discovering the unknown. I always find myself missing your kisses on the forehead. Whether it was just you and me, or when we were with a group of people, those kisses were my simple, personal reminders that you were thinking about me, and that you loved me. I'll never forget the day you first did this. I'll never forget the feeling of butterflies I would get after thinking about it that day. I miss the butterflies and the anxiousness I would get as I would walk down the stairs after class, knowing that you would be there waiting. I was always filled with such an excitement and thrill, so happy to be able to be in your arms again and kiss you. Your kiss was something magical. It has the ability to do things that nothing else could, not sports, not music, not writing, or anything. When I would kiss you, even just for a second, my mind would go blank. With nothing but true love taking all my other worries away. I miss the way we would kiss numerous times in a row, just experimenting with each other in a connection nothing else could quite reach. It was in between those kisses that I knew that I wanted to be with you. Do you remember the strength of our connection? That's what I miss most. Being able to connect to someone on so many levels in so many ways is something that some one else has yet to do. It's something that doesn't just happen, and I miss it the most. I miss the love that connected us as one. I guess you could say I miss a lot, more than the average person should. But all in all, what it all comes down to is that I miss you.