Journal of an Unknown Duelist

October 1 – I bought this journal on a return trip from Duelist Kingdom. Before I went, I had big hopes of winning with my Warrior/EARTH deck, but I lost to a prissy girl who went by the name of Mai Valentine. She was beautiful, sure, but I can't stand to lose to a girl!! And, if I'm not mistaken, she made it to the top four. Allow me to describe her. Her hair is light blonde, and done in the most fashionable way, slightly curled. Her eyes are very elegant, and her face speaks wonders. She wears a purple outfit and a short skirt. And she was highly materialistic; she was at the tournament to get the most expensive things such as fancy cars, fantastic dresses, purses that rich ladies always carry around, etc. And her voice was like the spring by a brook, flowing smoothly and mellifluous.

Now, to explain the condition under which I lost. Mai played with some sassy Harpie Ladies, and most of my monsters couldn't touch, being of the EARTH attribute. This was insignificant, however. The thing that unnerved me was not the monsters, but the fact that Mai seemed to know what her cards were without even looking at them! I heard from reliable sources that it was all a sham; some doofus named Joey Wheelie—or something to that effect—discovered that Mai had put different perfumes on her cards to tell which was which. I also heard that she lost all her star chips to some wacko named Panic, but they were retrieved by someone else, probably an admirer.

I am severely disgruntled at that Mai Valentine. Someday I'll get my revenge, just you wait!

July 6, the following year
– Today I dueled Mai again, and this time she didn't try that perfume trick. I don't believe she recognized me, to tell you the truth. It was at the Battle City tournament, and Mai's deck has improved by the addition of Amazonesses. She was tough, astute, and witty, and she seems to have lost some of her material lust. There was no hope for me in this duel, and I'm still awaiting the day when I can finally say that I trounced Mai.

July 20 – Mai made it to the finals, but she lost to a man named Noam, or something to that effect. The details are as yet unknown.

May 14, two years later – Today I saw Mai at another tournament, a relatively insignificant one. She won against some dude's Tri-Horned Dragon. Her trophy, however, was found smashed into a thousand pieces, probably because she heard somebody say she was a loser, and that Joey Wheelie was a far better duelist than her.

January 11, five years later – I have conceived a way to defeat Mai Valentine in a duel at last. Allow me to explain. My current employer is Industrial Illusions, due to an art contest I won two-and-a-half years ago. I am one of Pegasus' favorites, and he now permits me to use the Creator Machine to make my own custom-made cards. I have just invented a subclass, called "Deities." As I am their inventor, nobody but myself has access to them.

All Deities have several characteristics in common. First of all, they cannot be targeted by Spell or Trap Cards. They also cannot be forced to changed players sides, as in the effects of Dummy Golem. Furthermore, Deities cannot be chosen as a target in battle by a monster that is of their same attribute.

Soon, we shall see them in action!

November 16 – My deck is ready, with 19 Deities, 14 Spells, and 7 Traps. However, I have another problem: the whereabouts of Mai Valentine are at present unknown. Until I find her, I cannot put my all-powerful deck to the test.

April 3 – Mai Valentine has been found. She is now a member of the Dragon's Circle, which seems awkward for her, since she was more of a feminist and the only dragons I've ever seen her play were Harpie's Pet Dragon and Harpie's Pet Baby Dragon. I'll have to modify my deck for the encounter.

April 17 – I have returned from my Duel with Mai, and I will know give a detail-by-detail account of it.

She was alone, in a café, when I acknowledged her. With the temerity of a baron of England, I walked up to her and demanded a duel. She didn't recognize me, or pretended not to. But she said she felt like a duel, anyhow, and so we began.

4000/4000

"I'll start things off, if you don't mind!" I said, and since there was no dissent, I summoned Grayle, who of course was a Deity. He had a round body, with heavy wings, and he was entirely black except for a diamond-shaped white spot in the area where his heart should've been. "I activate Pot of Greed, in order to draw two more cards. Then I set six cards face-down, and end my turn."

Grayle
LV 3/ FIRE/ Deity
ATK: 900 DEF: 0
Effect: You may have up to eight spell or trap cards on your side of the field at any given time, not counting the Field Spell. For each Spell or Trap on your side of the field, this monster gets an additional 100 ATK points.

"Wait a sec ," said Mai, dumbfounded. "How can you set six face-down cards? Unless one's a Field Spell, that is."

"Nope," I said brightly. "None are Field Spells. However, my Grayle makes it possible to have up to eight spells or traps on the field."

"Whatever. I summon Luster Dragon!"

"Nice try, but I activate Trap Hole, which sends Luster Dragon straight to the Graveyard."

"Oh, fine then. My turn concludes."

"Yes, then I draw. Now, Grayle, attack Mai directly!"

The deity did as he was bid, sending Mai flying into the air.

4000/2600

"That's all for now," I said.

"My move, and I summon Masked Dragon! Now, Masked Dragon, attack Grayle!"

The dragon geared up for an assault, but nothing happened. "What?!?" exclaimed Mai.

"I'll explain. Grayle is a Deity, which means that he can't be chosen as a target by a monster of his selfsame attribute. Both Grayle and Masked Dragon are FIRE monsters, so attacking him is impossible."

Mai was discouraged, but set a card and allowed me to begin my turn.

"I sacrifice Grayle in order to summon, Leimos, Destructor of Ruins!" He was like a golem, with yellow sunrays touching his body, and imprints of dandelions and forget-me-nots running across his rocky skin.

Leimos, Destructor of Ruins
LV 6/ EARTH/ Deity
ATK: 2300 DEF: 1700
Effect: Destroy the monster that destroys this one in battle if the monster in question has a DEF that is lower than this monster's.

"Leimos, attack Masked Dragon," I commanded. My pet obeyed my orders with zero reluctance.

"I'm sure your aware of what you've done!" said my lady opponent. "You have just helped me. I summon Armed Dragon LV 3! And you know what happens next turn, I'm sure. But first, I activate my face-down, Dora of Fate! If I successfully someone a monster next turn that is one level lower than one I select on your side of the field, you take 500 points of damage times the level of the selected monster. Of course, I choose your Leimos!"

"Oh, great," I said, dejectedly, ending my turn.

"Yes; now for the fun. Armed Dragon LV 3 disappears, and in its place comes Armed Dragon LV 5! And unless you have something, there goes 3000 of your Life Points!"

"I have nothing to save myself with," I admitted shamefacedly.

1000/2400

It seemed as though Mai were getting the better of me again. But boy did I have a surprise for her. "Dragon Capture Jar! All dragons must go to defense mode and remain in that vulnerable position until they are pulverized by others."

"Clever move! But I have an even better one! By discarding the Serpent Night Dragon in my hand, I can destroy your Leimos by Armed Dragon's effect!" Mai gleefully shouted.

I watched as my Earth monster vanished in smoke, and I saw that it was time to take my game up a notch.

When my next turn began, I summoned the monster Mancemeat the Slithering Moonbeast. It looked like a squirrel holding a chainsaw, with a pirate's patch over one of its eyes. "Mancemeat's effect is that whenever it is summoned, I get to call out the name of a monster type. If you have a monster or monsters of the declared type in your hand, I can select one and destroy it. So, here goes: I declare the monster type—DRAGON!"

Mai showed me her hand, which contained two dragons. I chose to destroy her Horus Black Flame Dragon LV 8. I didn't need to battle it, even though I knew I had the power to destroy it. Then I ordered Mancemeat to attack, and he made short work of Mai's Armed Dragon.

Mancemeat the Slithering Moonbeast
LV 4/ EARTH/ Deity
ATK: 1800 DEF: 1800
Effect: When this monster is Normal Summoned, declare a type of monster. Look at your opponent's hand, and if he/she has a monster(s) of the declared type, destroy one of them.

"Go ahead, Mai. It's your turn."

My mysterious and long-hated opponent drew the nastiest card in the game. "Card of Sanctity!"

Of course, the card itself isn't so bad. It helps both players out, and when you're not the one playing it, you tend to feel elated. However, the card has deadly consequences for the one who receives the benefits without playing it.

"I activate The Cheerful Coffin," Mai said. "And discard three monster cards. Then I play Exchange!" Translation: I throw out all my good stuff, leaving trash in my Hand, and force you to take this white elephant that you don't want, and you know what else? I think I'll steal your powerhouse and use it on you!

I almost feel like crying when I write down these words, even though I'm a grown man, but you should've seen what she did! She gave me a useless Ragnarock the Divine Dragon, and took my most puissant Deity! Well, I guess it could've been worse; she could've given me Trent, after all.

Mai ended her turn, with a single card in her hand and no cards on the field. It looked like it would be an easy victory, until the ground shook, and her field was occupied by three Night Dragons. When she activated The Cheerful Coffin, she must've thrown out these three, which were sometimes nicknamed the lizards of Dark World.

Night Dragon – Chelmos
LV 4/ DARK/ Dragon
ATK: 1100 DEF: 700
Effect: When this monster is sent to the Graveyard from your hand by a card effect, you may Special Summon it to your side of the field at the end of the turn. This monster gets 500 ATK and DEF points for each monster of DARK attribute on your side of the field.

Night Dragon – Zeen
LV 5/ DARK/ Dragon
ATK: 2100 DEF: 1700
Effect: When this monster is sent to the Graveyard from your hand by a card effect, you may Special Summon it to your side of the field at the end of the turn. By cutting this monster's ATK in half, it can attack your opponent's Life Points directly.

Night Dragon – Terrarat
LV 6/ DARK/ Dragon
ATK: 2400 DEF: 1900
Effect: When this monster is sent to the Graveyard from your hand by a card effect, you may Special Summon it to your side of the field at the end of the turn. This monster cannot be destroyed in battle with a monster of equal ATK.

Now it was my turn. I had four face-down cards, one face-up Dragon-Capture Jar, one Mancemeat the Slithering Moonbeast on the field, and seven cards in my hand. That's a total of thirteen cards against the Deity that I knew I'd eventually have to fight against. I had not expected Exchange, and this was a dangerous battle, probably the most dangerous one I ever fought. I went through all the strengths of the Deities very rapidly in my head. There had to be some way to stop it! The summoning problem was already taken care of; there were three Night Dragons after all.

Glancing over the field, I saw I had the ability to destroy one of the Night Dragons, Zeen. What was more, he was the most dangerous, for if Mai used his effect, I was a goner. However, I had a better plan.

"I activate Monster Reborn to revive Grayle from my Graveyard! And you know what that means! I can have up to eight Spells and Traps on my side of the field, and I set three. Then I switch Mamcemeat to Defense mode and end my turn."

Mai smiled sweetly. "You know, I could destroy you right now, by activating Night Dragon – Zeen's special ability and attacking you directly. However, I'm a nice gal and would like to make this more interesting. So I elect to sacrifice all three of my Night Dragons in order to summon Mixtant, Infusion of the Gods!"

There is a solid reason why the monster is called 'Infusion of the Gods.' He has all of the best qualities of Ra, Slifer, and Obelisk, without their defects. I had created in Mixtant the perfect monster, or so I believed. He had Ra's birdlike head, Slifer's tortuous tail, and obelisk's torso, legs, and strength. Needless to say, I was frightened.

Mixtant, Infusion of the Gods
LV 10/ LIGHT/ Deity
ATK: 4000 DEF: 4000
Effects (the short list): You must sacrifice three monsters in order to summon this card. When your opponent summons a monster, using the Second Mouth attack of this card, the summoned monster is attacked by a blast of 2000 points. Total up the attack of the monsters used to Tribute Summon this card and add it to this monsters original attack power. Once per turn, you may use the Phoenix Attack, in which you pay 1,000 Life Points to destroy all monsters on the field other than 'Mixtant, Infusion of the Gods.' If you choose to use the latter effect, you must skip your Battle Phase this turn.

Mixtant now had an ATK of 9600. 4000 + 1100 + 2100 + 2400 9600

"Now, this is just an extra precaution, but I thought I'd play it anyway. Heavy Storm!"

All my defenses were going away, in one quick swoop! And then I remembered one of the cards I had set during the first turn: Magic Jammer. I activated it and discarded Mai's Ragnarock.

"No matter. I have Mixtant attack Grayle."

Now, here is the alarming thing. Me and Mai waited what seemed like centuries for her God monster to attack, but the battle never came.

"I said, I order you to attack!"

But for one reason or other, Mixtant would not obey. It was Mai's turned to be frightened; never had she met a Duel Monster that didn't obsequiously comply with her commands. She was forced to end her turn.

"Hinotama!" I activated, sending 500 points of damage to Mai's LP.

1000/1900

"Now I activate my face-down, The Path to Destiny!" I said. "This is probably the riskiest card in the game, but I need a risk, so here goes! The effects of this card are that we both must flip a coin. If it lands on heads, you gain 2000 Life Points. If it lands on tails, you lose 2000 Life Points. I'll flip first!" I was disappointed; it landed on tails.

Mai flipped her coin, albeit without courage, and it also landed on tails. The game had been a draw.

"But wait, there's more. I activate Lucky Stars! This Quick-Play Spell allows me to retry a coin flip for each monster of subtype Deity I have one field. The first one's for Grayle: I flip…and it's tails," I say dejectedly. "But I have one more Deity, Mancemeat! And it's time for one last flip…and it's heads! Yes, that means I win the game!"

1000/0000

Mai looked at me vehemently, and claimed I cheated. By all events Mixtant should've been able to attack. I was still shouting "I defeated Mai Valentine!" at the top of my lungs.

Then, the girl smirked and said, "I'm not Mai Valentine. I'm a girl that was sent in her place, so that she could spy on you and see what cards you have. And when she hears what a cheat you are, you'll be sorry." And the girl removed her mask, and I saw a beautiful face, with long, straight, brown hair. "My name's Serenity Wheeler, and I promise you you'll be sorry!" With that she dashed away.

Imagine my dismay when I discovered that the girl I defeated in the duel was nobody, really. I searched avidly over and over for a duelist by the name of Serenity Wheeler in the Complete Guide to the Best Duelists in the World. She was not there, though there was a man named Joseph Wheeler and a listing for a robot monkey also named Wheeler, but other than that there was nothing.

I have to find the real Mai Valentine, and not be bothered with this Serenity girl any longer. Maybe Mai's not even a member of the Dragon's Circle after all. But, mark my words, if I lay hold of her, she will pay for humiliating me not once, but three times, counting this encounter.