Another SRMT fic? Yup! (And before you start panicking, this has nothing to do with songs.) I was reading a Japanese manga called "Azumanga Daioh", and I saw a comic strip that spawned this fanfic. I just couldn't resist! Rated PG-13 for a little pervertedness.
BTW, I know it's a little late, but HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY EVERYONE!
Disclaimer: I do not own SRMTHFG or the comic strip that inspired this.
Hiccups
Our scene opens to find our favorite band of monkeys at Mr. Gakslapper's restaurant, waiting for Chiro and Jinmay to get out of school. They decided to pass the time by listening to SPRX and Gibson arguing.
"I honestly CAN'T believe that you would sink so low!" cried the blue monkey, referring to pink polka dots that somehow appeared all over his face.
"All I did was – " began the red monkey.
"I know perfectly well what you did!" Gibson screamed, rubbing the pink stuff off.
"Hey guys!" Chiro and Jinmay came walking up. The boy flashed then a thumbs-up, and the girl grinned politely. "I love it when there's a half-day of school!" Chiro crowed. Jinmay giggled and nodded in agreement.
As the two sat down, Gibson and SPRX broke off their argument to greet them.
"How was school?" inquired Antauri.
"It was okay," replied Jinmay. "We spent most of the day at a dumb school assembly to listen to a movitational speaker."
"Yeah," Chiro agreed. "It was boring." Then he noticed what was on Gibson's plate. "What is up with your burger? It's covered in red stuff!"
"Gibson decided to try the new spicy Burger," commented SPRX.
Otto's eyes widened. "Ooh, I wanna try!"
Nova sighed and shook her head. "You know you can't handle spicy food!" she lectured. "Why do you do this to yourself?"
Otto paid her no heed, grabbing Gibon's burger – to which the braniac thoroughly objected – and took a huge bite out of it. After swallowing, he sat there pondering the taste. Then…
"OH! OHMIGOSH! WATER! WATER!!!" Otto began screaming and running around in a blind panic. The sight looked so funny that Gibson couldn't help but chuckle a little bit. And when I say "chuckle", I mean "laugh hysterically at his teammate's stupidity".
Jinmay pulled a water bottle out of her backpack and tossed it to the green monkey. "Here! Catch!" she cried.
"Jinmay, you know it's not sanitary for multiple people to drink out of one water bottle," Gibson began to lecture.
"I didn't drink out of it yet," she explained. "I bought it on the way home from school, and I never got around to drinking it."
Everyone watched as Otto chugged the whole bottle down. When the green monkey finished, he turned to Gibson. "How can you eat stuff like that?!" he demanded. "I thought I was gunna die!"
"Gibson has some crazy taste in food," Nova commented. Suddenly –
-Hic!-
Everyone turned to Otto with blank expressions. Otto stared back.
-Hic!-
"Now you've got the hiccups?!" SPRX shook his head in disbelief.
"Oh, Otto. What will we ever do with you?" wondered Antauri.
Otto blinked. "How do I get rid of them? -Hic!-"
"Try drinking some water," Chiro suggested.
"We'll have to go get some more, he drank my whole water bottle," said Jinmay.
They walked to a nearby vending machine. "Will soft drinks work? –Hic!-" asked Otto.
"I guess so," answered SPRX. "How about a Sprite or something?"
"Nah, the bubbles tickle my nose. –Hic!-"
Antauri inserted a coin he found on the ground and hit the button. A cup dispenser lowered a cup and filled it with water. Otto took a sip and waited expectantly. After a few seconds…-Hic!-
"I heard you have to cover your nose and drink it," said Nova.
"I heard you have to cover your ears," Jinmay responded.
"Let's try both," suggested Chiro. He knelt down behind Otto and covered the monkey's sound receptors as the green monkey plugged his nose. Otto chugged a few sips, then keeled over, gasping for breath. "Well?" asked Chiro.
The entire team waited expectantly. Then…
-Hic!-
"That's one stubborn little hiccup," commented SPRX.
"I read somewhere that you have to balance the cup on a plastic knife and drink," Antauri threw in. "However, I doubt it will work."
"It's worth a shot," said Jinmay, running back to the restaurant. About thirty seconds later, she came back with a plastic knife.
Otto struggled to balance the cup on the knife. He kept leaning forward and backwards trying to get it steady when the cup fell over. It spilled all over Otto's hand when he tried to catch it.
"Well, that didn't work." Gibson, always the one to point out the obvious. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a blonde girl and a blond boy walking to the park. She had traded her usual long black skirt, black-and-pink sandals and pink tank top for black bike shorts, pink Nike sneakers and a purple tee-shirt. He wore a green muscle shirt with a silver crescent moon and was wearing black sweat pants with black-and-green sandals.
"What do you know, Tiku?" the girl said. "You can't play volleyball!"
"I can too, Lili!" Tiku yelled back. The two teenagers began yellng at each other in Japanese, attracting strange looks from the citizens watching.
"Hey, Lili and Tiku!" cried Otto. "Maybe they can help us! –Hic!-"
"It sounds like they're headed for the big volleyball game," commented Nova.
"Then let's go," suggested Gibson. The team began to follow the two arguing teenagers to the volleyball court.
------------
"Heya, monkey team!" Lili greeted them enthusiastically. She picked up Antauri and wrapped him in a big fangirl hug.
"Hey, cool it, L," warned Tiku. "No freaky fangirl moments, okay?"
Lili sighed and put the silver monkey down. "I'll try to control myself." She straightened up. "So, wussup?"
"Otto's got the hiccups," explained Nova. "And we can't get rid of them."
-Hic!- Otto confirmed.
"Fear," said Lili. "We need to scare them out." She ran up to Otto as quickly as she could. "BOOGEDY BOOGEDY BOOGEDY!"
Otto anime-sweat-dropped. "Could you maybe do it a little better?"
Lili shook her head. "Sheesh, you superheroes are so demanding! Well, here goes…"
"Liliana, you baka!" Tiku walked up to his friend. "You can't scare someone if you announce you're going to surprise them!" Lili blushed and looked at the ground. "You really wanna surprise him?" Tiku put his hand on her shoulder and looked at her shirt. "Tell him how high that number is!"
Lili's face matched SPRX's fur. "What does that have to do with anything?!" she cried, crossing her arms and trying to hide her chest.
"But those are practically melons!"
Lili slapped his cheek. "Stop embarassing me!!"
Antauri, Gibson, Nova and Jinmay looked shocked. SPRX and Chiro were laughing so hard their brains almost exploded. Otto was merely confused.
When the laughter had died down, Tiku turned to the group. "When someone on Lakita had the hiccups, we would take Earth lilacs and boil them into a tea. Then the tea would cure the hiccups."
Antauri pondered this theory. "I've never heard of that, but it's an interesting way to stop the hiccups."
"Hey, I know!" cried Lili. She kneeled on the ground and began smacking Otto's back between his shoulderblades. "You gotta smack them on the back like this! Is it working?" The entire team anime-sweat-dropped. Otto's pupils changed into big white anime X's.
"OW! OW! –Hic!- OW! OW! OW! –Hic!- OW! OW!"
"Lili!" Tiku grabbed the sophomore's hand to keep her from hitting Otto. "You only do that if the person's choking!"
Lili looked at the senior, then turned to the blue monkey. "What causes hiccups, anyhow?"
"A spasm of the diaphragm," explained Gibson. "Right under the lungs."
(A/N: For those who don't know, "diaphragm" is pronounced "DIE-uh-fram".)
"What, here?" Lili asked, punching Otto's abdomen.
"That was his solar plexus…" Gibson said as Otto keeled over on the ground.
"His what?"
"The pit of his stomach…"
The team of monkeys ran over to Otto and helped him up. "Did it work?" asked SPRX.
There was a long pause…
-Hic!-
Lili anime-sweat-dropped. "Whatever. The volleyball game's about to start. Let's go, T."
Tiku stared at the girl in awe. "You suck!"
"Nothing's working…" muttered Jinmay.
------------
The game ended, and Otto still had the hiccups.
Tiku walked over as Lili went to the changing room. "Still got the hiccups, Otto?"
-Hic!- Otto confirmed.
Lili came back with her traditional pink tank top and black skirt. The silver star on her shirt gleamed brightly in the sun as she walked. "I heard that it can kill you if you hiccup all day."
"Be surprised, Otto!" Jinmay jumped up in front of the green monkey. "BE VERY SURPRISED!!! BOOGA BOOGA BOOGA BOOGA BOOGA!"
"That's no good," sighed Otto. "That's not surprising at all." He looked at the ground. –Hic!-
The pink-haired android ran up to Tiku. "Do you know any more ways to get rid of hiccups?"
Tiku wrapped his arms around her waist. "Well, maybe…but there's a price."
"HEY!" Chiro got off the bleachers and marched over to Tiku, yanking him away from Jinmay. Tiku ran and hid behind Lili.
"Liliana?" The pink-clad sophomore turned to the silver monkey. "Do you know any more methods? They're at least worth a try."
Suddenly Lili was overcome with a sudden urge to pick up Antauri and cuddle him mercilessly. She clenched her fist and closed her eyes until she had gotten the feeling under control. Then she looked at him.
"Try applying pressure to his eyes," suggested Lili.
SPRX walked over to his green counterpart and squeezed his head. "Ow, ow, Ow, OW! –Hic!-"
"Try pulling his tongue," suggested Tiku, as he ducked down behind Lili.
SPRX grabbed Otto's tongue and gave a forceful yank. "Aaaaah!" Otto tried to scream.
"Man, your tongue is short!" commented SPRX.
"Really, I don't think that – " began Gibson.
"Oh, shut up, Brain Strain." Gibson glowered at SPRX's comment.
-Hic!-
"Any other ideas?" asked Nova, trying to supress a giggle.
"Uh…give them to someone else…" Lili suggested.
"Give them to someone else…-Hic!-…" Otto looked pointedly at Gibson, never breaking eye contact.
-Hic!-
-Hic!-
-Hic!-
"…What are you looking at?" asked Gibson warily.
"There may really be something wrong with him," said Chiro. "Like his brain or something."
Antauri looked at Chiro speculatively as the others nodded.
Otto began panicking. "What do you mean, my brain?"
"Well, there does seem to be something wrong," commented SPRX.
"You mean you've noticed symptoms?!"
"I don't know if they're symptoms or not, but…"
They carried on like this for about ten minutes, during which Jinmay noticed. "Hey, your hiccups have stopped."
Everyone stared at the female android for a few seconds before the meaning of her words sunk in. Then Otto began celebrating. "Yahoo! My hiccups are gone!"
"I wonder what made them go away," wonder Gibson. "Did something work?" Everyone pondered in silence for a few seconds when…
-Hic!-
"Uh-oh," said Nova, turning to her second-in-command.
Antauri looked confused until he realized his situation. –Hic!-
"I guess that means we have to do everything all over again," said SPRX.
"Let's see…" thought Otto. "The first thing we did was…"
"Take it away, Lili," said Chiro.
Antauri anime-sweat-dropped.
-Hic!-