Because I couldn't help myself, I had to do a piece on Emily's departure. It kills me that she's leaving, and I hope one day she comes back - even though that means her last episode will leave her storyline open-ended, and I would very much like some closure. But hey, I don't write for CBS and I guess I can live with a cliffy-ish ending to her storyline if that means she can return - that's what happened with Sara Sidle on CSI, and I'm so glad she's back.

Anyway, all of these chapters will be short, and my goal is to finish before next week's episode. And this was all inspired by one of Emily's lines from way back, which is subsequently the title of this story.

You Don't Choose Who You Fall In Love With

All her life she had been alone. Or at least it always felt that way. With her mother constantly on the move, there were only so many people she had the chance to get close to, before an entire country distanced them. Sometimes two. Sometimes even a continent.

But at least, in those times, she always had even just one person who she could count on. She had Matthew the longest, until he started to slip further and further away each day. And even in times of true crisis, she could turn to her mother. Politics aside, Emily was still her daughter. Blood ties are the hardest bonds to break.

But now? Now is a new world entirely. Now is the epitome of alone. An overwhelming sense of absolute isolation.

There's no one to call on for a helping hand, or to lend an ear while she poured her heart out. To listen and to hold her as she cried; to comfort her as she apologized to everyone she's ever hurt. If there was only someone to keep her on steady ground and whisper softly in her ear, "I love you".

But there isn't a soul.

Matthew is dead. And Tsia. Her team would face a similar fate if she even thought about exposing her past. This isn't their fight, and she'd be damned if she ever had to say she was responsible for the worst happening to any of them.

And what would she say to her mother? That she's about to dive headfirst into Hell's mouth with no promise of making it out alive. Or that she used to embrace a known murderer. Every. Day. She held his hand, kissed him. Laid awake late at night, while he slept naked beside her.

Those are words better left unsaid.

As for Clyde, her colleague… her friend. He's nothing more than a double-crossing son of a bitch. A rat. And Emily would like nothing more than to send that bastard straight to hell. He's the reason Tsia is dead. He had been working for Doyle all along. While Tsia trusted him with her life, he was whispering sweet nothings into Doyle's ear. Tsia walked right into a setup, and she didn't walk out.

She considers, for a second, calling Sean. But she doesn't quite trust him anymore.

She doesn't trust anyone but the team members she left behind.

And that... that's all she has. Emily almost tears at the thought. It's a short list to begin with, and it's about to get a hell of a lot shorter.

To Be Continued...

Well, there you have it... a teaser of sorts? Please let me know if you'd like to see this continued. Hell, I'll post the rest of it anyway, but it'd be nice to hear you say it!

Jessalynn