Akechi was very confused. A rare feeling for the ace detective. And yet, the group in front of him was completely and utterly bizarre.
He was the latest member to join the Phantom Thieves, a group of criminals whose goal was to get other criminals to confess to their crimes by stealing their hearts. Well, to be honest, he had, in what he had been told was a surprisingly common occurrence, blackmailed the Phantom Thieves into letting him join their group.
Their job was to steal the heart of Sae Niijima, an associate of his, and the elder sister of Makoto Niijima, another member of the Phantom Thieves. However, things did not seem to be going well at the moment, as he saw that two of his fellow thieves, Oracle and Fox, arguing quite intensely.
"Stupid Inari!" Oracle, otherwise known as Futaba Sakura, shouted at Fox. "What do you mean you wasted all of our casino chips?!"
"Nothing obtained in the pursuit of art is wasted." retorted Fox, otherwise known as Yusuke Kitagawa.
...And apparently also known as Inari? The whole naming business of the Phantom thieves was rather bizarre.
"Um, what do the lobsters you bought have to do with art?" Noir questioned.
"Ah, well, to the untrained eye, they may look like mere lobsters, but on closer inspection, their shape-
"Look dude, if you need money for food, I can spot you some cash." Skull said.
"Ugh, now we need to get those chips all over again." Panther complained.
"Why did we put Fox in charge of the chips again?" Queen asked, palm in face.
"We wouldn't even have to go through all of this effin' shit if she'd just pay fair!" Skull shouted, clearly referring to Sae.
Bickering was a rather common occurrence amongst the Phantom Thieves, and Akechi sighed, thinking it would only get worse until…
"Yeah, I guess the master of this palace has all the say here." Joker calmly said.
For a few moments, everyone was silent. Morgana was the first to break the silence.
"Urgh, that joke was not very cool, Joker." Morgana said.
Despite what he said, everyone seemed much less tense after only a few words from their leader, even if those words were just a lame pun.
Joker, or Ren, his actual name, always seemed to have a quip or, well, a joke for any situation. Akechi remembered another one time where Joker was even willing to joke around with him, despite the blackmailing.
"So, Joker, I take it that, as the leader, you're in charge of group's funds, right?" Akechi asked.
"Yeah." Joker tersely stated.
"Then might I ask where most of those funds go to?"
"Maids and fortune tellers."
"P-Pardon me?"
"Weapons and medicine."
"Ah, yes, of course."
Thinking more on the subject of humor, Akechi remembered when he had tried humor as well, hoping it would allow him to get closer to his fellow thieves.
"Impressive Noir!" Akechi complemented "The way you disposed of that shadow was truly worthy of praise!"
"You really think so?" Noir asked, surprised.
"Of course!" Akechi confirmed. "Just...don't get a swelled head from all the praise, ok?"
The joke didn't land nearly as well as he had hoped.
"Bastard!" Akechi thought to himself. "How can a guy like Joker practically ooze charisma, but I couldn't even land a simple joke."
Akechi shook his head, attempting to calm himself.
"It doesn't matter." Akechi though. "Everything is going according to plan."
In truth, Akechi had joined the thieves only so that he eventually he could eventually betray them. Under orders from Masayoshi Shido, he was to tip off the police on the location of the thieves, kill Joker, and frame it as a suicide. From what he could tell, no one suspected a thing.
So then why did he still feel the need to impress them? To show off? Did he...want them to acknowledge him?
"No, of course not." Akechi thought. "I'm only doing this so that I can better observe them."
Akechi had kept a careful eye on the rest of the thieves and learned quite a bit from them. Skull, or Ryuji, was rash, impulsive, and he couldn't seem to keep his mouth shut for more than five seconds. If the group really was onto him, there was no way he'd be able to hide it.
The same went for Panther, or Ann. Her acting skills were, quite frankly, horrible.
Morgana was rather odd. He somehow had the ability to transform into a car, had the ridiculous belief that he was a human, and had the even more ridiculous belief that he stood a chance with Ann. That being said, he could be quite shrewd, so Akechi thought it best to watch what he said around the cat.
Futaba was weird, but an expert hacker. Not that he expected her to be able to slip anything under his nose.
Makoto, or Queen, seemed to be, along with Joker, the best at keeping everyone in control and safe with her carefully laid out plans. Surprisingly, much like Joker and himself, she could be absolutely brutal with the enemy shadows, although she wasn't quite as flashy as himself and his fancy moves whenever the group performed an All Out Attack. Still, a far cry from the pushover he had initially saw her as.
But none of other thieves compared to Haru in the sadism department. Haru's immense enthusiasm for battle and defeating the enemy shadows honestly scared him. Just a little. Thankfully, there was no way she'd ever figure out his involvement in her father's death, so he hopefully wouldn't be the target for her slight… homicidal tendencies.
Hopefully...
And finally, there was Yusuke, and he was… Yusuke.
Akechi believed that he had successfully evaded suspicion from the team. Even Joker, instead of treating him with suspicion, treated him with nothing but kindness. He had offered to treat him to pancakes several times as a sort of celebration for him joining the team, his signature smirk on his face whenever he offered. Akechi was often busy, however, so he couldn't accept. Akechi could have sworn he saw Morgana give a questioning look one time when Joker asked, but when he asked Joker about it, he laughed and said Morgana was wondering if Joker would save him some leftovers.
Pancakes seemed like a strange food for a celebration, but Akechi didn't really mind.
Eventually, after reaching a safe house in the palace, Joker called off the operation for the day, saying that they would resume tomorrow.
Everyone returned to the real world and went back home, or in Futaba and Morgana's case, went out for a walk. Soon, the only three people left in the Leblanc attic were Makoto, Ren, and Akechi.
"Oh, were you going to stay here, Makoto?" Akechi questioned.
"I had a few things I wanted to discuss with Ren in private." Makoto answered.
While he didn't wish to arouse suspicion, Akechi decided that this might be important.
"And what would that be?" Akechi asked. "I noticed that you stay behind to "discuss" things with Ren quite often?"
"What are you implying?" Makoto said, her eyes narrowed.
"Well, if it has to do with the Phantom Thieves, shouldn't the rest of us know?" Akechi asked.
Ren chuckled and flashed his signature smirk. "It's nothing like that." Ren assured. "The two of us were just about to have our...private study session."
"Private study session?" Akechi repeated.
"O-Oh, yes, t-that." Makoto stammered. "I come over to Leblanc all the time and we...study together."
"Studying, huh." Akechi thought to himself. "I suppose it's easy to forget that despite being master thieves, they're still high schoolers."
Still, something seemed off. Ren had a cheeky grin on his face, and Makoto's face...was completely beet red. What on Earth were those two studying together?
Akechi shrugged, deciding that it probably didn't matter, and left Leblanc. As soon as he left, Makoto breathed a sigh of relief, and Ren started to chuckle.
"He has no idea we're onto him, does he?"
As Akechi walked down the street, he took a moment to congratulate himself for continuing to trick the Phantom Thieves, and specifically Joker, into thinking he was one of them.
Specifically Joker…
"Why am I so hung up on him?" Akechi wondered.
As much as he hated to admit, he couldn't help but feel a little envious of Ren. He was surrounded by friends, and incredibly smart. He remembered Futaba mentioning that he had maxed out his knowledge and charm stats...whatever that meant.
He was just a piece of trash, and yet was constantly showered with praise and attention. At one point, the Phantom Thieves had grown so popular, and made him into a laughing stock. While that was no longer the case, Akechi couldn't help but still feel a bit of resentment.
But in the end, none of that even mattered. He didn't need the mindless masses' approval. He didn't need the Phantom Thieves' approval. All he needed was for Shido to acknowledge him and take responsibility for his actions. And to do that, Ren would have to die.
And at that moment, the same thought passed through both Ren and Akechi's minds.
"He'll never see it coming."