When Did We Fall?

Summary:

Ever wondered how misunderstood you can be as star? Sakura found out the hard way. Being a star wasn't easy to begin with but now it just got harder. She strived to make for herself a perfect little world safe from all the malice around but her little world had been shattered by one arrogant and pompous man – Li Xiao Lang, a few weeks in his company changed her perception of the world with the loss of her childlike innocence, trust and kindness and gaining new responsibilities and cynicism.

Will Sakura be able to find herself again? Perhaps not.

Rated M for the sexual content and hints at Yaoi - Xiao Lang x Sakura, Touya x Yue x Yukito, Eriol x Tomoyo

Disclaimer:

I do not own any of the characters, except for the ones you don't recognize. I am not making any money out of this.

A/N:

This is the very first outright romance that I put up for reading, and I'd like to dedicate it to one of my favourite CCS authors..... Little wolf lover..., and of course my darling little kooki who adores CCS and has a huge crush on Eriol, although I'm not going to tell her about it because firstly, she's just 8 and this is an M rated fic. Secondly, I don't want to end up in the slaughter house, courtesy her brother.

Warning:

This entire story contains a lot of angst, and the characters may seem a slightly OOC but I've tried my best to keep them in character

Chapter 1: I Don't Want To Shine

The sound of applause accompanied her all the way to the dressing room. Sinking into her chair all she could think of was a chilled drink and a warm bath. A smile stealing on her innocent face, she closed her eyes and made herself comfortable in the chair she had chosen as she thought of the show she had just finished with aplomb.

Her large emerald eyes opened to the soft knock on the door, "come in", she said straightening herself in the chair. The door opened to admit an earnest looking man, his eyes blinking owlishly behind thick spectacles to adjust to the dim lighting of her simple dressing room. He had a press card around his neck, which gave her enough assurance to relieve the tenseness of her shoulders. "Miss Kinomoto, I was wondering if I could have a few words with you." he asked. She longed to go back to her hotel room yet she smiled patiently. "Of course, how may I help you?"

"I'm a local news reporter and I'm doing a write up on your show tonight, and I thought that your interview along with it would be great. So I was wondering if you could spare some time for a quick round of questions."

Stifling a sigh that threatened to escape her tender lips, she postponed her trip back to the hotel room and answered, "Sure! Please do take a seat. I'm in no hurry."

The black eyed man sat on the couch that was positioned opposite the chair she was sitting in, searching his pockets for a pen to write with, " I really enjoyed your show tonight miss Kinomoto" he began pompously

"Does that mean our show will be getting a good review in your paper tomorrow?" she asked her green eyes twinkling playfully, the owl like man nodded seriously his glasses slipping down to the bridge of his beak like nose.

"Absolutely, our audiences aren't really accustomed to hearing singers like you – well, not professional at least, though we do have some amazing home grown talent."

"I'm sure you do," she said smiling as she swept a stray lock of honey brown hair behind her ear.

"Why did you decide to come here Miss Kinomoto? All the way away from a brilliant career in Japan?" he asked as he settled a notebook on his knees preparing to write.

"Here in china or the island?"

"Yes, little suburbs like our little city of Haikou and not Discovery Bay...you were given the choice yet you chose us over the glamorous town?"

"I do perform in big cities too; in fact I have a show at HongKong Island and then at the walled city park of Kowloon Five months from now." she paused briefly before continuing "and a place like this, because I love it here, it is more homely than any other place."

"Yes but...."he stopped mid sentence, searching for the right words "... it's hardly the kind of place you must be used to performing at especially after the sensation you caused in Japan" she laughed at this her clear tones reverberating inside the room "Oh believe me Mr... I'm sorry; I don't know your name."

"I'm Chi Yuang" he supplied holding out his business card with a slight bow and making a quick grab for his notebook that was about to slip off his lap. "Well Chi san, please call me Sakura...yes...um... I was about to say, I've performed in far smaller places, some of them had an audience of no more than 18 people"

"That must have been in the very beginning but why now, after all you are a hit in Japan why bother with little islands like ours?" he asked intrigued, his pale complexion picking up colour as he warmed to his persistent argument, getting carried away in his feeling of nationalism and forgetting the role of an un biased reporter.

Sakura smiled softly Chi Yuang, he seemed so soft and naive after the sharks she had been interviewed by, and for the sheer lack of malice in his questions she took pity and candidly answered his determined questions, "I like singing to large audiences no doubt about it, but it is the smaller regions that appeal the most to me they offer me what no large region can offer...warmth. If truth be told I wouldn't have moved up the ladder in Japan either, if it weren't for the pestering of my best friend and manager not to forget the silent encouragement of my father and brother."

"Still you needn't have heeded to them" he said

"You're right I needn't have but I love singing too much so I conceded" she said

"Oh, but it won't be long before you break through to the entire south East Asia, then the world right? I mean after many years of being labelled the reluctant star you have finally stepped out of Japan..." he went on as he scribbled furiously in his notebook.

"Oh no, truthfully I'm not all that interested in going all around the world, I think it's a bit too much for me after my shows around here I'm going to take a nice little break and go back to Japan only to come back for the show at Kowloon and Hk island and retreat back, so really I'm not exactly stepping out yet.

This time his notebook really did fall off his lap, landing on the floor along with his jaw. "Are you kidding?" he asked his eyes wide.

The room filled with her tinkling laughter " No, I'm not kidding, I mean, right now I have trouble handling Japan, our humble archipelago satisfies me, I don't need continents, they will never give me time of my own, I sing because I enjoy it and if I need to slave for it I don't think I'll enjoy it anymore." she continued after a haunting pause " I have many friends in the business who made it really big, but for it they paid a very heavy price, and I'm not ready for something so expensive just for the path to more fame, it does not hold any appeal for me." she said in a solemn tone.

"And you're never going to walk down that path?"

"I don't know, who knows where my life will take me, but for now I'm really not ready for it, I truly am happy as I am" she shrugged

Chi Yuang fell silent scribbling furiously in his notebook 'I guess he's writing word for word, I wonder why he isn't using a recorder? Good going Sakura you are The Reluctant Star yet AGAIN!' she thought to herself.

"Ano....Chi San... will you send me a copy of the article" she asked, "I'd love to see it." He nodded, more colour making its way to his pale cheeks, and Sakura hid a grin at his obvious pleasure.

"Definitely, I will send it over to your agent, will that be fine?" sakura nodded, they exchanged their thanks as she ushered him out the door& sunk into the now empty couch, completely drained of both physical and emotional strength.

Sighing she forced herself to clean all the makeup and get changed before going back to the hotel. Entering her luxurious and lonely suite of rooms, she prepared for bed. Lying in the soft bed she tossed and turned, she grabbed a pillow from beneath her head and hugged it, singing to herself trying to soothe herself, calm her agitated heart and mind, shoo the hollowness away. Her singing always evoked strong emotions in everyone and herself too, but tonight, it did no such thing for her. She did have lots of loving friends to be really lonesome but they would never be able to provide her with the affection and care she craved. There had been men she had liked but never pursued any relationship, because none of them felt right.

"I wonder if I'm actually meant to be with someone."She said to herself aloud "oh no you don't sakura enough self pity, think about something else!" she shook her head as her mind strayed to the proposal made by Kaho her manager and agent, she had never come to any decision, but now was not the time, she was too tired and her brain wouldn't help her process all the facts properly. With that she forced herself into uncomfortable slumber. After all she had rejected the flight she was offered, preferring to take the ferry and drive her way to Xuwen where her father was positioned supervising an excavation site.

NEXT MORNING:

On the ferry to the mainland she noticed the weather transforming from bad to worse, feeling miserable she tried to concentrate on the novel she had gotten along with the trip as the boat tossed around the choppy waves, praying to every God that she'd make it to the mainland without losing her inadequate breakfast of a buttered toast and a nutri bar, it was all she could get from the hotel kitchen at six in the morning without having to wait. Seemingly the gods were kind enough to grant her wish. Now she had a long drive ahead towards Xuwen, now she wished she'd let someone escort her but she had painstakingly yet conveniently disappeared with the first light of morning just to be alone. Privacy is so precious when you did what she did for a living. The sight of lovely fields that she drove past uplifted her sombre mood from the horrid ride by ferry, though the sky was still grey and gearing up for a storm. She turned her car on the main road, promising her grumbling stomach a warm meal at the first village she encountered, putting up the volume of her music player she tried to get her mind off the dark weather, and soon enough it started to pour and if that weren't bad enough her car started to shudder and lurch about.

"Hoooooooe!!" she whined as the engine of the old car gave up all together and broke down in the middle of nowhere, it definitely wasn't a problem with the battery because the radio was still working. She tried the ignition a few times hoping that the old lady would give in and start up but alas! The Gods had already granted her the wish of the day.

"tch... damn I should have let Touya register me a new car, at least that would have lower chances of breaking down" she spoke to herself out loud as she lay her forehead on the steering wheel. "No offense dearest, I love you just as much as mama did, but its time you retired" she said softly to the car patting the steering wheel as though it were a living being.

Sighing she climbed out of the car shivering as the rain soaked her in seconds making her red dress stick to her like second skin, she opened the hood of the car and looked down at the mysterious mechanics of the old car.

" And of course...," she kept talking to the car in her innocent way, "...there's no one in sight, couldn't you have waited a little longer and broken down somewhere there might have been someone that could come to my rescue? You can't even find a good knight in shining armour these days!" she huffed a little before continuing her tirade "I'd even settle for an old man on a donkey if he knew anything about fixing a car."

"What about me? Would I do?"

A/N:

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Yes I know it's a short chapter but I'll try to make the next one longer, and I'm really not good with cliff hangers, not to forget I suck at summaries, the summary of this chapter came to being with a lot of help from my darling BETA adelmortescryche, she is a grammar Nazi, but an amazing beta.

Shameless advertising: if you like crazy ideas then you should check out The Menders by my beta, it has only one chapter up but as far as I can gather from those fanged bunnies she sets on me it's a great story, she's written other stuff too but I love Menders way too much.