NOTE: Okay, this is my first story. Personally, I think it sucks. I'm not a great writer, but I'm trying to get better. Please read and review. If you hate it, just give me advice on how to improve it, I don't want to hear "IT SUCKS! NEVER WRITE AGAIN!" Alright, I'm done. I started writing this...thing a little after Halloween.
Disclaimer: i own nothing. These are Jhonen's characters, blah blah blah. You know the story.
It was a dark, spooky night. Everyone's favorite little robot, Gir, was sitting on the couch in the living room watching a scary movie on the TV. He shivered and whimpered as an actor guy dressed as Dracula chased another actor guy around a castle place.
"DON'T GO IN THERE! DON'T GO IN THERE! HE'LL EAT YOUR NECK!" Gir screamed at the TV. He was twitching wildly.
"WHAT! WHO'S AFTER MY NECK?" screamed Zim, who was about to enter his lab through the toilet entrance. He thought Gir had been talking to him.
"WAHHH! NO! HE'S IN THERE! GO IN-NO DON'T GO IN-WAIT-NO-YEAH GO-UHHH...WAHH!" Gir screamed, throwing the popcorn he had been eating to the side.
Zim walked into the living room to see why Gir was screaming, only to be hit by Gir's popcorn. "GIR! What are you shouting about?"
At that moment, a commercial for laundry detergent appeared on the screen. Gir, not being too terrified of laundry, turned away from the TV and stared at Zim. "...The vampire..." Gir whispered in a high, creepy, muffled voice.
"Huh?" Zim asked, not having heard Gir, due to his creepy, yet inaudible tone.
"The vampire." Gir stated, more clearly this time.
"Oh, okay," Zim replied. "What are these VAMPIRES!"
"Ssshhhhh..." Gir put a finger to his metal mouth. He stood up on the couch, casting shadows on the wall behind him. Gir cleared his throat, and began to dramatically tell Zim about vampires. "VAMPIRES is real scary. They is monsters that bites your neck and suck stuff outta you! HICKEY! They're DEAD but not really. They're ANTI-DEAD, or YEAH! They turns into bats and fly all over garlic fields, and they make friends with all the mirrors. They're teeth are sharper than a beaver!" Gir finished. It was obvious that he hadn't really been paying much attention to the movie.
Zim shook his head indifferently, not having understood a word of Gir's story. "Gir, I'll be in the lab. Don't let anyone in the house. And clean up the popcorn." By now, the movie had come back on, and Gir was staring at the screen again. Zim entered the kitchen and flushed himself down the toilet, into his lab.
"Now to work on my next GLORIOUSLY BRILLIANT PLAN OF DESTRUCTION, DOOM, AND TERROR!" Zim shouted to himself, jumping onto a chair in front of Computer. Zim sat in his chair, trying to think up a gloriously brilliant plan of destruction, doom, and terror.
Zim sat in his chair, thinking for a few minutes. He was coming up blank. He couldn't think of any new plans. He was actually rather curious about vampires. He wondered what they really were. He was correctly assuming that almost none of gir's information was correct.
"COMPUTER! BRING UP THE EARTH INFORMATION RETRIEVING CENTER!" the Google homepage appeared on the Computer's giant screen. Zim typed in "vampires" and began to read the information that the search engine retrieved.
"GIR!" Zim shouted. He was now back upstairs, having read plenty of information on vampires. Gir was still sitting on the couch, only now he was watching the Scary Monkey Show. "Gir, we have to find the VAMPIRES!"
"What?" Gir asked, not turning away from the TV. "What's vampires?"
Zim sighed. "The neck things, remember? An hour ago, you were screaming about them. Remember?" Gir shrugged, still not moving his gaze from the TV. "Well, anyway, I gathered information on them."
Zim stood up on the TV. He cast spooky shadows on the walls, much like Gir had when he had told his story. "VAMPIRES bite on people's necks and suck out their blood. When they suck out a human's BLOOD, they turn into a VAMPIRE, and they suck out other people's blood and they turn into VAMPIRES and they suck out other people's blood and they turn into VAMPIRES," Zim stopped talking for a second, realizing that he was starting to ramble. "Anyway, these VAMPIRES could help us destroy the sewage human beasts."
Gir made a little squeaking sound and continued to stare at the screen.
"Yes, Gir, you heard me right." Zim continued, thinking that Gir actually had some interest in what he was saying. "We are going VAMPIRE HUNTING." (Cue lightning.)
"SShhhhh..." Gir shushed. "Monkey."