By the time Cas came back to the bunker, Dean was furious. "Where the hell have you been?" He growled, gesturing wildly at the clearly confuzzled angel. Castiel blinked large, owlish eyes at him and tilted his head in that achingly familiar echo of an angel long since dead.
"I was helping." He replied simply, and goddamn did those puppy dog eyes just stab Dean right in the heart. "Metatron asked me to -"
"Oh, now we're trusting sketchy angels who've been hiding under a rock for the past forever over me? Yeah, that's really helpin' your case out there, buddy." Dean barked, slamming his hand down on the table. Sam was in his room, finally agreeing to take a short nap after Dean forced him into his bed. Hopefully the loud noises wouldn't wake him too much.
"Dean, I'm sorry," Castiel began, but before Dean could interrupt again Cas fixated him with puppy dog eyes more watery than Sam's, and Dean had no choice but to fall silent. "He wants to close the gates of Heaven, and force all the angels to talk out their problems rather than destroy each other over them. A big... family meeting, if you will," he shrugged, and his eyes fell to the floor. The action was so human that Dean almost felt like crying out of frustration.
"Does that mean you'd get trapped up there, too?" He asked, softly at first, not willing to look his angel in the eye. He could hear the rustling of the coat, and knew Cas was trying to come up with a decent lie.
"Well, I'm not sure -"
"Cas. Would you get trapped with all your insane siblings."
The angel sighed, and Dean looked up to seen him run a hand through his hair. "Yes, essentially," he said at last, "I would. But at least I would be able to protect humanity from the wrath of my brothers and sisters." Castiel took a deep, unneeded breath, and Dean had a feeling that the next thing to come out of his mouth would be a doozy. "And I'd be useful to you. You would need me to take on these trials."
Yup, that was a doozy. Dean startled himself by reacting so horribly. He slammed his hand on the desk again, and his "Dammit, Cas!" probably woke up Sammy it was so loud. Cas himself looked worried, that puppy dog look on his face replaced with the look of a kitten who suddenly had their yarn ball yanked right out from under their whiskers.
"What did I do wrong?" Cas began, his face a strange flurry of emotion. "I can fix it, I'll work through the trials faster, I -"
"You stupid son of a bitch, we don't need your help!" Dean realized he was shouting once the last word fell from his lips, but was too angry to care. "That means no working with weird people behind our backs, no disappearing when I tell you to stay here and get better, and no taking candy from strangers! Goddamn, Cas, when will you learn?" Dean threw his hands up in utter irritation. "It's like working with a five year old!"
"I was led to believe you like children," Castiel breathed, causing all of Dean's anger to evaporate and leave behind a cold, dreary fog of oh. "And if you do not need my help, why should I continue to be with you, as a burden on you both? I shouldn't be here."
Even the fog froze inside of Dean at that vocalized fear, causing him to become nearly immobile with dread at the thought. "No," he could hear his voice speaking, but he wasn't really thinking about what came out of his mouth. All he knew was Cas has to stay, I can't let him go again, not after everything else, please don't let this be the time he never comes back... "We might not need your help, Cas, but god damn it, I need you. I need you here, with us, not standing ambiguously behind us. Don't you get that?" Dean's voice had turned soft, like a mother bear standing down after a threat on her cubs has passed. "I need you, Cas, but I don't need your help."
The angel was astounded at this new revelation. His eyes were blown wide with outrageous understanding, and his constantly-dry lips were stretched over a boneless jaw.
Well, it looked more like he had accidentally swallowed a bug, but Dean could read Cas like a book these days. The dude was flabbergasted. "Don't flap away this time, got it? I don't think I'll be able to let go of it next time you turn up."
Of course, the dumb son of a bitch flapped away right after Dean mumbled that out. Before the hunter could flip a table or something, Cas was back, shopping bags in hand. "I went 'on a run' earlier," the angel was looking at his feet, as if he knew that Dean was probably angry, "But the establishment I was at did not sell pie. Metatron stopped me before I smote the worker-boy for refusing to give it to me."
Dean chose to ignore that last statement.
Cas placed the bags on the table. Dean could see beer, toilet paper and beef jerky, and was that - "Skin mags?" Dean asked, fixing the angel with a quirked brow. Was that a smile on Cas' face?
"I find no shame in admiring the human body," Cas replied, "After all, it is quite a beautiful thing. Yours is, of course, the most beautiful."
Well, that sure took a turn for the awkward. Dean coughed into his hand and hid a smile behind one hand. "You, ah - never mind, man." He clapped one hand on Cas' shoulder and had to hide a grin at the bright smile that lit up the angel's face. Dean wasn't gonna tell him that was a little creepy, all because of the fact that this meant Cas was staying.
"Come on man, you gotta see my room," he laughed, pulling the angel along by the arm of his familiar trench coat, "it's awesome."