She had forgotten where she was, how she got there and the exact reason why she was there, over an hour ago. Now she lay on a cushy sofa half passed out, wondering how she was getting her next drink.
All she could see was her best friends raven locks being stroked by her boyfriend, and an unknown couple who waved in unison as they walked by Alicia and Cam.
Ugh. In unison. That used to be her.
Another couple left and Claire Lyons slowly tried to pick herself up but she failed.
Failure. That was her now.
"Claire!" Alicia tried to nudge her up. "Eww! Claire, how much did you drink? I told you that you had a limit."
"Leesh! I'm not a lightweight. I'm not too wasted," Claire attempted to stand up again. "Just dizzy." She collapsed again.
"Maybe in your mind you aren't. A little help Cam?" Alicia gestured towards her friend's small body. Cam quickly scrambled to pick up his childhood friend.
"This is your fault. Ever since you told her Josh moved into that apartment with that girl, she has been super depressed." Alicia scolded her boyfriend as they took Claire up to her room. She sighed, and sadly looked at her friend. She was glad though, because at least she was with people who cared about her.
"Sorry, but she asked. And they've been broken up for awhile," Cam insisted. He placed Claire on her California King and turned to Alicia.
"But you knew it would upset her. They we're very close." Alicia said looking a Claire rolling on her bed and mumbling.
"Geez Leesh, I can hear you. And Joshua Hotz and his little girlfriend aren't the cause for my wild ways. Not really. Him moving on means he's done with me. I don't need him."
Alicia rolled her eyes. "Okay then. Just get some rest."
"Nighty night." Claire slurred.
With them gone, Claire reached for her phone on her nightstand. She dialed a familiar number, half hoping no one would pick up.
"Uh, hi? Claire?" Josh's sleep heavy voice answered.
She ran a hand through her hair. "Yeah."
"Are you okay, you're not hurt right?"
She smiled. "I used to love it when you worried."
"I worry about you all the time. Are you alright? You sound drunk. Do you need me to pick you up?"
"No, no, no. I'm home. But I was thinking of you. I know, weird."
"A little."
"So what's her name?" She asked innocently.
"Who's name?"
"Your new roommate." A strong moment of silence passed before Josh sighed.
"Alexandra"
"Where'd you meet?"
"Work"
"Is she the tramp you dumped me for? Or is she the world that you wanted to see before you settled down?"
"Claire, your drunk."
"Oh no. Don't even pull the drunk card. Not when no matter how you look at it, you've known her for a few months and she now lives in the apartment, that I picked out. The one where you were too much of a pussy to let me move in," Claire gasped as she went on, "I gave you my time from age 17 to basically 23. Almost six years Josh." she started to well up.
"I know it was wrong, I'm sorry but it too late."
"No it isn't. Does she have a ring? Or is she carrying a little Josh or Josefina?"
"Claire..."
"What am I right?"
"I'm proposing tomorrow."
"Joshua Hotz stop lying to me."
"I'm not."
"You sick piece of shit. Six years of my life and no ring, no apartment. Wow. Wow. I guess little Alexandra isn't around because you're being pretty honest."
"She's with her friends."
"She's out this late without her boyfriend? Good luck with her. And while you live your cozy life with her know that I'm done with you. Not just in a relationship sense. But just totally done."
"Claire, don't say what you don't mean. I care about you but you know why we can't be together. You know what happened in those six years."
Claire hiccupped. "Of course, leave it to you to bring up a moment of weakness. One time after years. I screwed your friend. I was honest and I said sorry. But you were to busy assuming, you thought you knew everything."
"So you just did to prove me right? You and Kemp spent more time together than we did. That's all you admitted to."
"How dare you. We were friends and one night it went too far. But he only helped at the office. He transferred. And damn Josh, you forgave me." Claire sobbed.
"You thought it be that easy? Sorry for taking you back when I was still mad."
"Yeah well sorry that I realized it, too little to late." There was a pause with only Claire's tears being audible." Alexandra won't do that."
"I trust her"
"You didn't trust me?"
Josh made a frustrated grunt. "What do you want me to say?"
"Forget it. I just think you should be with someone who cared. And if she cared she'd be with you."
"Alexandra loves me. I know."
Claire took a breath "So the real question is, do you love her?"
Nothing then, "Yes, she is amazing and..." a commotion on Josh's end interrupted him and Claire could hear a muffled "Hey babe!"
"She's home." Claire said instead of asked.
"Yeah she's here."
"Do you love her more than me?"
"It's not the same. For a lot of reasons."
"Oh"
"I'm sorry" he said for the hundredth time. The muffled voice asked who was on the phone. He said "A friend."
"Oh well goodbye friend."
"Bye Claire."
She didn't know what she accomplished. She just knew her heart was breaking.
Tears fell rapidly on the phone screen as Claire regretted every mistake her young self made. Cried about the choices that caused her to lose the one boy, now man, she ever really liked and loved. The choices that made that man never want her again, a thought that killed her.
She loathed the moment she made the decision hat she would prove a point to Josh Hotz. The moment when it stopped being about them. And it was all about her. Selfishness did her in. And it was all her fault.