"ELLIE!"

Oh God, shut up shut up shut uuuuup.

"ELLIE!"

Why God? Why me?

"ELLIE IF YOU DON'T WAKE UP I'M GONNA LICK YOU"

He wouldn't dare…

"ELLIE I'M NOT PLAYING AROUND, I SWEAR I'M GONNA DO IT!"

He's lying.

"I'm bending down Ellie…"

He won't. He values his life too much.

"My tongue is aaaaallll nice and slobbery, all for you Ellie!"

Ew, ew, ewwwww!

"I'm up, goddammit I'm up- just shut up!"

I am such a wimp.

Brady smirks and flops down on the end of bed like he owns it. Little butt. Who even let him in? I ask him that, still smirking he says

"Your grandma, she invited me over for breakfast too!"

Evil cow, she's hated me since I was 5 and stole her dentures, flushed them down the toilet and blamed it on the dog. The old hag went mad and hasn't forgiven me since! When the lawyers came to tell her I was going to be living with her a year later she did everything in her power to persuade them otherwise but she was stuck with me!

"Ellie are you even listening to me!" Brady whines.

"No"

Honestly, normally I'm much nicer but the Brady woke me up badly! It's important that I have the perfect start to the day in order for me to be at my best. The Little Butt should know that!

Brady huffs (such a girl) and says "Fine I guess you won't want a lift to school then. I'm sure Collin would want one though…"

"Brady for the last friggin time, I'm not gonna ride on the back of your stupid bike to school!"

"Don't you dare insult Irene!" Brady says appalled

"I'll insult what I damn well want!" I shout

"Butt Face"

"Boogerhead"

"Ninny Legs" He spat

Wow okay, Ninny Legs; I mean I know Brady's a douche but really-Ninny Legs? That's just … weird, even for Brady.

"No Brady…just no."

"Fine" Brady cries and stomps downstairs like the little princess he is.

Honestly, and some females actually find him attractive…

Ew.

I tried to go back to sleep but unfortunately could not. Thanks to Brady.

Damn that Little Butt.

As I get out of bed after giving up on trying to go back to sleep I survey my bedroom stopping at one photo that makes me smile despite my unpleasant mood.

The photo showed two young children around the ages of five and six. Both were smiling wide at the camera.

I stand nervously outside the front gates as Grandma dumps my bag on the floor and tells me that her friend from Bingo is picking me up at 2. I wave goodbye to Grandma as she speeds out of the parking lot. A boy my age comes up to me and sticks out a sticky pudgy hand,

"I'm Brady, you look weird"

Rude Little Butt. Honestly, who did he think he was?

Grandma let me get changed today and I thought I did a good job! With my lopsided tiara orange leggings and blue bikini I thought I looked pretty good!

"My names Elena." I say taking his hand in my equally pudgy hand.

"Eelayna?" he says. His face contorting painfully as he says it.

"No. Elena." I correct him, annoyed at the rude little boy who can't even say my name correctly.

"Oh, well I don't like it so I'm gonna call you Ellie." He says proudly. Obviously happy with his nickname for me.

Ellie. Ellie. Ellie James; It's nice and I immediately like it.

"Hey! I can call you Ellie Big Belly!"

And just when I was starting to like this boy…

For the next twenty minutes the boy-Brady continued to talk to me. First he told me all about his pet goldfish Alfred and how he and Alfred were supposedly BFFS until Alfred went and died on him leaving Brady depressed which obviously worried his mother ( I mean how can a five year old be depressed?)

Then he proceeded on to telling me how he hadTristadekaphobia- the intense fear of pickles; Brady also told me that at the sight of pickles he will break into hives.

Okay…

It was only when the bell rang that he started to walk off to the rest of the class. I stayed where I was and when Brady noticed that I wasn't following he came back with a confused expression covering his face.

"Hey Ellie" he asked.

"Yes" I answered timidly.

"Are you gonna go in?" he asked while his big brown eyes surveyed my tearstained face. After several minutes of no reply he smiled and took my hand in his.

"Come on Ellie you're gonna sit next to me" and then the Little Butt dragged me across the playground right to the classroom.

When we got to the classroom the teacher opened the door and scolded us for being so late so when she asked us why we were so much more later than everyone else I prepared myself for the worse and opened my mouth:

"I'm so-" I began but before I could complete my sentence Brady interrupted.

"It was me, I was scared so Ellie stayed with me and brought me over here." Brady answered his tiny face revealed no fear.

Wow. That was erm… noble?

So after the teacher proceeded to warn Brady not to let it happen again, I gave the Little Butt the biggest hug ever right in front of the whole of our class.

He might be a big old snot head sometimes I thought but he's alright.

I've been best friends with the Little Butt ever since.

…

After remembering who sweet Brady could be I decided I shall forgive him.

Humble? I know, I'm just that amazing.

After I showered I looked over myself in the mirror.

My straight black hair went down to just above my shoulders; my side fringe covered most of my forehead and my russet colored skin seemed pimple free…for now.

Overall I didn't look any different to any other Quileute teenage girl. The only thing that stood out was my eyes they're green not sea green or emerald green or forest green or olive green (I could go on for a while) they're just green, which was perfectly fine with me.

I put on a Lime green t-shirt and an green tutu whilst donning some stripy tights and putting my hair in its signature side pony.

I looked like Me. Ellie James-the awkward, clumsy, best friend of the ever popular Brady Greene

…

I raced downstairs before Brady wiped out whole kitchen. Ever since his freakish growth spurt where he grew to, like 6'5 he eats like a pig. A fat one too.

"Morning Grandma" Behold my suckish attempt at bonding with my grandmother.

"Mmffff" She replies. What. A. Charmer. I mean go ahead and ignore your only granddaughter, it's not like I care or anything.

That was sarcasm.

"Morning Brady" I say cheerily as I sit down next to him. He looks at me frowns and scoots his chair further away from me.

Well someone's on their period.

But I really need him to not be mad at me cause I forgot to do my Spanish homework and I really, really need to steal Brady's.

Oh, and cause he's my friend and all that crap.

"Hey Brady" I say cheerfully.

No reply.

"Hey Brady"

"Hey Brady"

"Hey Brady"

Wow he's starting to look angry now (or maybe he's constipated… you never know with Brady…)

"Yes Ellie" He says his voice strained and his eyes nervous.

"I'm sorry" I whisper.

"Really Ellie" His face looks so innocent, aw it's too hard to resist!

"No" And then I collapse into laughter.

"Har har Ellie you're sooo funny" He Huffs and gets up to leave.

Meanwhile I'm still in hysterics… What? It was funny!

"Hey Brady, wait up, I'm sorry, really I am" I say semi sincerely.

"Really" Brady asks this time somewhat apprehensively.

Oh this is too easy!

"NO!" And then I collapse into another bout of laughter. BTW I'm perfectly normal, you know…in case you were wondering.

By the time I recover from my laughing fit (come on it was pretty funny, right?)Brady has already gone along with Irene. (Honestly who names their bike Irene?) He probably gave Collin a lift too.

I don't like Collin.

He calls me Ellie Big Belly.

Only Brady can call me that.

…

By the time I get to school I'm fifteen minutes late and have earned myself and hours detention from Mr. Cookie .( He's really called Mr. Cooke, but he's just so round-you know…like a cookie!) Unfortunately due to my tardiness all the good seats are taken so I'm stuck next to Smelly Kelly.

Major ew.

As I reluctantly make my way to my seat I trip over someone's bag making me fall flat on my face. As the class erupts into laughter.

As I lay there on the cold dirty floor of World History. I wonder.

I wonder what I must have done so that karma hates me so much. I must have been someone really evil in a past life like Hitler or Barney.

"Elena do you intend to lay there the whole lesson"

Yes, Yes I do. But of course I don't say that but get up.

"Finally" He says pretending to be relieved and the class stars to laugh again-Haha, No.

I bet Mr. Cookie thinks he's sooo funny. Well I got news for you Cookie- you're not.

I hope you get eaten by a unicorn.

A big fat unicorn.

Don't Mess with Ellie James Biatch.

I smile weakly at Smelly Kelly while thinking how much karma must hate her.

I mean she must have been reaaaaally evil in past life cause her luck pretty much sucks.

I have it quite easy in comparison- the ability to publicly embarrass myself every five minutes and an evil grandmother sucks, but at least I have Brady (even though he is a Little Butt) to keep me

company; but poor Smelly has to deal with her odour issues on her own …

I think I'm just gonna zone out now…

…

Classes were pretty boring, but last period is alright, it's PE and we have it with seniors, which is alright except one senior chick wears this perfume which you can smell from across the gym. I told her that and she told me piss off.

Potty mouth.

"Okay everyone gather round!" yells Mrs. Tyler-I like her she doesn't make me run laps, which in my book makes her a saint.

Plus her husband's hot.

Anyway Tyler starts to prattle on about how she's going to assign each sophomore a senior to be partnered with. She also mentions that's she's going to be picking the pairs which received a wide spread groan amongst the class.

I don't really care. Brady's not in this class so there's none I really want to be with, I mean most seniors are all right anyway.

Except for the really mean ones who give you swirlys in your freshman year. They're total booger faces.

Oh, and Potty Mouth too. She's a meanie.

"Rosie Kline and Collin Little." I heard Taylor yell

Ooo! Potty Mouth's name is Rosie and she's stuck with Collin! What an oddly sweet name for such a horrible person!

"Elena James and Seth Clearwater."

Bitch just said whaaaat?

…

A/N: Hello! Thank you for having the time to click on my story! I Hope you liked it? Or did you think It was a pathetic attempt at me being funny? I know it's not perfect but I really need a Beta to help me out? Please leave your opinions in a review! Is it good? Bad? Awful? Okay? Please let me know if I should carry on?

Oh and does anyone have any ideas for how Seth should Imprint? Should I do It in his point of view or Ellie's? Oh and what do you guys think of Ellie?

-Izzy