Bitchface and Baby

by Beautifully-Damaged

Gen, Angst. Dean finds a small kitten and insist with a passion he be allowed to keep it. But why is Dean being so uncharacteristic of himself as asking Sam if he can do something? Dwells into Dean's fears about his being alone.

Bitchface & Baby aka Nobody Puts Baby in the Corner

Takes place only a few weeks after Jessica's death and Sam rejoined his brother on the quest to find their father. Sam is still standoff'ish and upset with..well..when isn't Sam upset about something?

For this story, Dean is not as tough and strong acting as he is in S.1., or as he is portrayed in the entire show for that matter. His demeanor is different, he's more quiet and vulnerable although he still hides his emotions and ultimately his fragility and insecurities behind sarcasm.

xxxxXxxxx

clink click tick tick

Sam was in a deep and comfortable asleep when he was awoken by an unusual sound.

clank tick tick clank tick

The noise continued at a steady pace for several minutes and quickly drew Sam out of his lazy dream state.

As he raised himself upon an elbow he glanced over to where his brother should have been sleeping but was not. The two small beds the motel room offered lie parallel to the other and Dean's bed, although messy had not been slept in nor was it occupied. Upon a quick sweep of the room with his still fogged over mind and sleep filled eyes, Sam realized he didn't see Dean anywhere.

As he listened to the faint noise he thought about the fact their room was one of the most absolutely filthy and disgusting places they had rented to date and he feared it was a rat clawing at their stuff.

tick clank tick click clank clank tick tick tick tickticktickticktick

He realized the sun had already risen yet he wasn't sure exactly what time it was. When he glanced at the clock Sam discovered he'd been asleep for only four hours.

"Crap,' he sighed as he drew long fingers across his own parched lips, "Just crap."

xxxxXxxxx

Sam rose into a seated position on the edge of the bed, tossed the sleeping bag aside and placed his bare feet upon the floor. The burnt-orange colored carpet was thread bare and rough and scratched the soft skin of his feet. His mouth was dry from sleep and he desperately needed a drink of water so when he realized the noises seemed to be coming from the bathroom area he was grateful. He figured he kill, literally, two problems with one stone.

Hesitantly he grabbed one of shoes which were lined together nicely at the foot of his bed, examined his own feet then the size of the boot and figured the shoe should be more than large enough to kill a rat. For a moment he seriously contemplated whether he should grab a more damaging weapon but opted against it as the noise persisted.

tick clank tickticktick...

Now that he was more awake he realized the sounds which had awoken him didn't sound as loud nor as menacing as it did only moments earlier.

If there truly was a rodent in their room he knew management wouldn't do anything about it other than move them to a different room and not possessing any desire whatsoever to relocate all their stuff in the wee hours of the early a.m., he attempted to move as quietly as possible. The element of surprise, as John and experience had taught him is always the best plan for an attack..even if only to kill trespassing vermin. Sam walked cautiously upon the balls of his feet around the half wall which separated the tiny room from the bathroom.

As he rounded the wall he saw a dim light flicker and shine through the partially open bathroom door. Since Dean was no where to be found he figured Dean must be the one making the noise.

Relief began to wash over him. He didn't want to kill a rat. Sam would never tell Dean but he really couldn't stand them, but if it came down 'them' or him, there certainly was no contest. The flea infested, disease carrying garbage eating four legged fucker was going down. Afraid he might walk directly in on his brother during what could very well be a private moment, of one sort or the other; he cleared his throat loudly before he spoke, his voice full of hesitance.

"Ahh.. Dean? Is that you?"

"Yeah Sammy, it's me."

"Are you busy?"

"Why don't you come find out?" A snigger escaped Dean and echoed around the bathroom. Sam quickly became frustrated with his brother, although he wasn't really even sure why. "Ew. Come on man. I'm serious. Are you busy or not?"

"What do you mean am I busy Sammy? What would I be doing besides the obvious?"

Sam figured his brother was trying to mess with him by forcing him to say something which would embarrass him, so he replied with a dry yet desperate tone.

"Come on Dean, you're in the bathroom. So just answer the question please. Can I come in or not. I'm thirsty."

"Oooooh yeah. No. I'm not that kinda busy. Come on in."

Sam pushed the door open the rest of the way and saw Dean squatted on the floor with his back towards him. Not being able to directly see what Dean was doing, Sam peered over his brother's shoulder and couldn't believe what he saw.

xxxxXxxxx

"You've got to be kidding me. Wha-what is this?" Sam stood dumbfounded by the sight before him.

In a sardonic tone Dean responded, "It's a cat. It's small and goes m e o w."

"I can see that but what's it doing in our room?"

Well..," Dean gave much pause and spoke slow as he continued. "she mewed way too much when I put her in the duffel bag. I don't know why but I think it might have been all the cold metal."

Sam stared dumbfounded at Dean. He ran his large hand over his face in a single stroke motion he covered the entire breadth from forehead to chin.

As he brushed his long and calloused fingers across his own parched lips he remembered how thirsty he was and pushed past his brother. The sink was on the other side of where Dean was squatted and Sam decided the whole: 'there's a cat in our room' conversation was going to have to wait.

He lowered his head below the faucet, took a long sip of cool water then wiped the stray droplets from around his mouth before speaking again.

"Or it could have been all the sharp objects poking it in the gut which made it cry. Geez Dean. What were you thinking putting it in the bag? All the noise you two have been making woke me up."

"Well excuse me Sammy. So then I tried putting toilet paper in the ice bucket as a bed for her but she kept mewing. So I figured maybe she was hungry, but I tried ok?"

Sam gave the kitten a good, long once over and replied. "Well, it is scrawny enough to fit an ice bucket."

Dean used the pad of his index finger to gently stroke the kitten behind the left ear, covering most of her little head as he did so. "You're not scrawny are you baby? Nooo. You're just a little thing. All innocent and pretty and petite and hungry aren't you baby?"

Completely ignoring Dean's comments Sam continued.

"So its hungry and it is thirsty which explains why you are in the bathroom with a cat, but where did you get the bowls from? And for that matter, what are you feeding it? We're almost out of food ourselves."

Dean continued to gently pet the tiny gray and tiger stripped kitten, looking at her the entire time he talked with Sam.

"There's a thrift shop up the street at the beginning of town. I popped in and picked up two bowls for a dollar. And it's some old cheese and bacon off my burger from yesterday. I found it in the floorboard of the car." Dean brought his nose against the cat's face and snuggled her while he spoke.

"Poor thing. You were starving weren't you?"

"Ew. Old bacon and cheese? That's not good for humans even when it's fresh, but old and from the warm Impala? God lord its going to have gas."

Dean was now the one was had become frustrated. He looked up only long enough to look Sam in the eye then he immediately turned his attention back to the kitten.

"She's tiny. How bad can her gas be? No worse than yours that's for sure and when you let one rip in the car do I complain or do I just live with it?"

Sam flashed his trademark bitchface look and solemnly replied.

"Last time I passed gas you pulled over to the side of the road, rolled down all the windows, got out of the car, sat on the trunk and fanned yourself with the map."

Sam was right. Hell, he usually was; so Dean couldn't help but chuckle as he continued to caress the kitten's head.

"Well that's because Uncle Sammy's wind is bad enough it can make onions cry."

Making a clicking sound with this tongue against the roof of his mouth of 'tsk', Sam cocked his head to the side and stared at Dean. "That doesn't even make sense."

"Sure it does. Oh.. and Sam, it isn't an it. It's a her."

xxxxXxxxx

At the time Sam didn't really care what sex the animal was.

He was more interested in making sure his opinion was known. He didn't want a pet. The Winchesters don't have the ability to properly take care of an animal as they can barely take care of themselves. Sam hoped his brother wasn't growing too attached but he feared it was already too late. If Dean had bought bowls for it then more than likely there was probably more he was willing to buy. Sam, always the realist, immediately became aware that the entire situation was not going to go over well between them. Although he despised fighting with Dean, he knew he must remain persistent.

"So where did you find it at? 'Cuz I'm sure you didn't go for a morning jog and just happened upon a kitten that small."

"Funny Sammy. Are you calling me fat? Saying I don't exercise enough?"

With a roll of eyes, Sam just stared at him and waited for Dean to continue. He of course wanted to make a comment about 'whose the girl now? what do you mean 'am i fat?' but he figured it best not to push Dean to hard.

A moment later Dean continued sarcastically, "No I didn't go J.. O ..G.. G.. I ..N ..G.."

From his still squatted position upon the floor, he looked up at Sam and continued. "I was up all night sitting at the table drinking, ah.. having a drink and I heard her crying right underneath the window. The sound barely traveled in through the wall cooler. I'm lucky I even heard her. When I opened the door and looked outside there she was wobbling on all fours and screaming like a Banshee."

"Well, we're not keeping it."

Dean turned his attention back to the kitten and answered with only one word.

"Her."

"Look Dean, either way, male or female, sow, dog, rabbit or gerbil, I can't believe you picked up a stray and were not keeping it."

"Her. And dang Sammy, since when did you become such a hater of all things fuzzy and adorable? If I didn't know you better I'd swear you'd rather have me salt and burn her then help her. And the cat isn't an it. She's a she. A girl. A female. You know..the opposite sex? Remember those? And no she isn't scrawny or gassy or anything else bad you've called her in the last five minutes. She's a newborn. Just a tiny, itty bitty, little helpless kitten and she's alone."

Right then and there Sam become aware of why Dean was so adamant about keeping the cat. Although Sam had no intentions of returning to school after the death of his girl and he had told Dean they had a job to do, Dean still secretly harbored and guarded his deepest fear, he didn't want to be alone.

He didn't know how.

So of course he feared Sam might leave him again. Even if their father hadn't gone missing, Sam figured it wouldn't have been much longer before his brother would have made an appearance at Stanford. Sam realized getting rid of Dean's new found friend was going to much more difficult than he originally thought.

xxxxXxxxx

Neither Winchester spoke a word for a several minutes until Sam finally broke the dead air between them. It wasn't an awkward silence however; it was more like a contest between two stubborn testosterone laden mutes to see who would win.

xxxxXxxxx

Nothing really changed during those moments of deafening quiet. Sam stood leaning against the bathroom sink, arms behind him, while he watched his brother remain seated on the tile floor petting the cat.

Sam of course was the one to speak first.

"And what the heck are you doing feeding it old bacon anyway? That can't be good for it. Kittens that young have delicate milk teeth. How is it eating hard old bacon?"

"Well Dr. Doolittle..She isn't eating the bacon. She's eating the cheese. She seemed to have a difficult time with the bacon. But she did at least try a bite of meat. She's damn hungry."

Sam slapped both his hands against his own thighs and sarcastically answered his brother; the beginning letter of each word carried the most emphasis.

"Her then ok? Her. Her. Her. Her. Her. She. She. She. She. She. She. Geez..is that better?"

"Marcia. Marcia. Marcia. Somebody got up on the wrong side of the bed today didn't they baby?" Dean replied while he stared solely at the kitten.

"You know what? Screw you Dean."

Sam retorted and began to storm out of the bathroom. He of course was less upset than he was making out to be. It's not very often he gets the opportunity to tell his brother to fuck off without suffering through a muscle bruising punch so Sam chose to not pass up the chance. When his brother didn't respond whatsoever Sam stopped, turned and could do nothing but simply watch. Dean certainly wasn't acting how Sam remembered him. He was quieter and more reserved, still sarcastic, but his demeanor and behavior was not at all like Sam remembered him.

Knowing Dean as well as he does, Sam was quite aware of just exactly when and how to push, and of course on the contrary, to not push his brother's Piss Me Off buttons and telling Dean to fuck off most certainly should have evoked some form of verbal backlash; yet he got nothing. Nothing but an eye and an ear full of something he'd never witnessed before in Dean.

Dean continued speaking but this time it was in a baby talk tone of voice one usually reserves for speaking to a infant or a beloved family pet.

"Who's a tuff wittle thing huh? Is it you? Yes she is. Yes she is. Baby's a smart girl and darn well knows good food when it's given to her. Don't you Baby?"

Dean picked up the cat, brought her body flush against his cheek, nuzzled her warm, soft fur, then looked at Sam with wide eyes and playfully pouted.

"What baby? What did you say? Oohhh okay. I'll tell him," Dean glanced at the animal in the eyes then returned his gaze back to Sam.

"Baby says she said she appreciates you finally recognizing her gender but she wishes you would stop being such a bitchface."

xxxxXxxxx

Sam could hardly believe his eyes alone his ears. Dean talking baby talk. A sight soon not to be forgotten. It was a shock to see his brother acting so protective over an animal, those fierce emotions were usually reserved solely for him; and if he wasn't so irritated from being roused from sleep he would have to admit, Dean did look adorable.

xxxxXxxxx

Rolling his eyes with the trademark Sam Winchester impatience, although it was slightly feigned; he responded. "I don't care how cute and ridiculous you look snuggling the cat. We're not keeping her."

Dean didn't give his brother a second look when he answered. "Then why do you care what she eats?"

"I don't."

"Yes you do."

"Nooo..I'm pretty sure I don't Dean. Look, you need to separate yourself from the cat and get rid of her. It's not logical for us to keep it.. ahh..her."

"Why?"

"Because Dean this is impossible. How are we going to take care of her? Half the time we're not in a room. We live in the car and the other half of the time we can barely afford to feed ourselves. I don't see how we can allocate any extra funds towards a cat."

"Kitten." Dean instantly corrected his brother.

Sam growled. "Kitten."

"Sammy she's tiny. She won't eat each much. Besides, if money and food is all your concerned about then I'll just eat less, making sure we have plenty of salad and quiche money for your health conscious, lack of taste buds ginormous body okay? Would that make you happy Samuel?"

Dean hadn't called him Samuel in years and whenever he did, Sam knew his brother wasn't angry with him but disappointed and Sam truly hated it.

"Dean?"

When he didn't respond, Sam had no choice but to ask the question he had been trying to avoid yet already knew the answer to.

"Why do you want this kitten so badly?"

"I just do and I'm not getting rid of her. We're keeping her. She's small and she's alone. She has no mother, nobody to take care of her and without me she's going to die. I won't let that happen and I'm certainly not going to just walk away. You might be a heartless bastard but I'm not."

"Heartless bastard? Are you serious? Is that what you think of me?"

Again, Dean didn't answer the question. Instead, he walked out of the bathroom and sat down on the bed. "I'm going to bed. I need some sleep before we have to be at Bobby's tomorrow around two."

"Oh come on Dean..don't do this. Talk to me."

"No. Baby and I are going to bed if that's ok with you."

Resigned to accept the fact there was no way he was going to get a proper response, Sam sighed." Yeah okay Dean. Good night."

Sam watched as his brother lie down on top of the covers, keeping the cat, which was curled into a tiny ball, in his cupped hand. Carefully he brought the animal close to his heart. Within a matter of minutes Dean was asleep and so was the kitten. As Sam stood watching the unlikely pair in the silence he could hear the kitten begin to purr.

xxxxXxxxx

Sam awoke hours later to a loud yet muffled sound he didn't quite recognize. The sound was so familiar in a way he believed he should know exactly what it was; but unless Dean was outside taking the head off a Vampire or cutting down a tree, he was pretty sure it wasn't a Machete.

As Sam opened the door to the motel the first thing he saw was his brother on the sidewalk right in front of their room. Dean was knelt down upon one knee and with a chopping action he brought his weapon down fast. Sam leaned against the inside of the door frame, feet crossed at his ankles and arms across his chest.

"Boy, was I wrong."

Dean looked up at Sam and smiled. "Good morning Sammyboy. Sleep good?"

"Yeah, well I was anyway till something which I now see is you, woke me up. Again. So may I ask what you're doing with the Machete and-and.. whatever the heck that thing is."

Sam nodded towards a black round plastic object on the ground. Dean swung the grotesquely large knife into the center then began to cut in a circle.

"You don't recognize what this is? Oh wait. That's right. You wouldn't would ya? You don't work on the car do you? It's the car's oil pan Sammy, and not the pan attached to the Impala which helps her run but the pan I use for when I change her oil. I'm just cutting the top off. "

"Dean."

"Yeah Sammyboy?"

"First. Stop calling me that. Second. You're rambling."

"Yeah.', With a shrug of his shoulders Dean answered simply, "I guess I am."

Dean wasn't completely indifferent to his brother's comment about him.

Sam had hurt his feeling but Dean would damned if he was going to show it. He turned his attention back to his project and thought that if Sam wanted to be bitch then so be it. It wasn't going to stop him from finishing his project for Baby. He knew it was going to be difficult enough to convince Sam to allow him to keep the cat and if he really didn't want to upset Sam anymore he'd better hurry up and make a place for her to go to the bathroom.

Dean rose and placed Baby inside his jacket. The kitten's weight was supported by his arm which he held in an L-shape, his forearm kept her from falling through his coat. He then grabbed the pan and tried to walk past Sam, but he wouldn't step aside.

"What is your problem now Sam?"

"Nothing. I just take it we're keeping it..ah..her, aren't we?" Sam tried his best not to refer to the cat as an it again and was rather proud of himself for remembering so soon after just waking.

"Baby."

Sam gave Dean a puzzled look. "What?"

"Baby."

In an attempt to lighten the mood as he feared he already got off on the wrong foot with Dean, he replied, "Well I love you too, but I don't think we need to call each other such endearing names." And for good measure he shot Dean a quick wink.

Dean didn't play along at all like he expected.

"No dumbass. Baby. Her name is Baby."

"I just got used to saying kitten and her."

"I know. And now you can used to saying Baby. So are you going to step aside or do I have to make you?"

With a roll of his eyes Sam moved and let his brother inside the room.

As he looked down, Sam noticed Dean had grabbed everything but the knife. He sighed when he picked it up and hoped nobody saw them with the half sword. The last time they brandished it for non-violent purposes in a public place, an old woman who appeared to be on vacation stepped out of a camping trailer, stood frozen with fear at the sight of such a large man as Sam with a knife. She then screamed, 'I'm calling the police!' Dean and Sam had to pack and leave within seven minutes; which is the response time for emergency services and he didn't want a hurried repeat of a similar incident ever again.

He was now also fairly convinced he had been right about his assumptions of his brother.

Dean was latching onto the stray kitten with a white-knuckled death grip out of pure fear. Fear of Sam leaving him again. Frightened that when they finally did find their father he wasn't going to be in a breathing/living sort of way. Dean had more reasons than Sam could think of to be reacting this way and Sam wasn't even certain he could guarantee his brother that he would stay around after they found John. So Dean's actions were understandable although Sam wasn't quite sure how to deal with it.

But since Sam's return, Dean never once asked if Sam was going to stay. Getting Dean to admit his feelings was akin to asking someone if you could pull their teeth without anesthesia. Although Dean would eventually come around and discuss what was bothering him. Sam could always get his brother to tell him what was eating at him, even if sometimes it took weeks.

Sam was never going to be able to take the kitten away from Dean now, no matter how unrealistic it was for the brothers to keep it.

xxxXxxxx

The kitten was asleep curled inside the pouch of Dean's jacket. When Baby woke, she began to immediately mew. Dean pulled her from his coat and brought her higher up against his chest and spoke softly to her.

"Shh Baby. Shh..It's ok. Hey. I got your surprise finished just like I said I would. Wanna see it? Yes you do. Yes you do. And don't you worry. I won't let grumpy Rain Man mess up our little bitty kitty kitten parade ok?"

He snuggled his nose deep inside the heavenly soft light gray fur, looked into Baby's dust-gray colored eyes and whispered. "Just ignore him Baby. Uncle Sammy's always a bit of a bitch but he's a good guy. You'll see. He'll come around." Dean's throat tightened with fear as he spoke.

He was afraid of losing the argument to Sam. Dean was frightened of not being allowed to keep the tiny innocence he now loved more than he could ever had imagined possible.

"I hope."

xxxxXxxxx

Sam followed Dean back into their room, laid the Machete down on the table and overheard his brother's whispers.

"A-are you talking trash to that cat about me?"

Dean turned to face him and continued speaking calmly and reserved. "No. I'm just telling her about her new gift. It's kind of for you too Sammy. I wanted to surprise you with it but I woke you up before I could finish. I'm sorry 'bout that by the way."

"It's ok Dean, really. Soo that oil pan thingie you mutilated is for the cat?"

"Baby."

Sam wanted to shout : 'For Christ sakes Dean. Baby ok? Baby. Her name is Baby. I got it.' but choose not too.

Dean seemed reluctant to speak to him anymore, so Sam stood and watched as his brother sat down on the floor and began shredding newspaper into strips; each of different length , then began he filled the recently cut oil pan.

He then placed the kitten inside. Baby wobbled a bit but began sniffing around then started to do what all good cats should..she went potty in her very own Impala Oil Pan Winchester Rigged yet Ingenious Litter Box.

Dean looked down into the felines infant blue eyes, the center so light they reminded him of the Impala's chrome and how it looked shining in moonlight. Baby, who was by now totally and completely staring at Dean, mewed, as if looking for approval of her natural act.

Then something happened Sam never would have never in a million years expected to come from his brother..Dean began to beg.

xxxxXxxxx

"See Sammy? See what a good girl she is? She's totally trainable and hecka smart. Did you see that? Did you? Sammy please, please let me keep her. I can't, I-I won't let her go. God please don't make me. I swear she won't be any trouble. I'll make her ride in the back when we're in the car. It'll be cool. Can't you just see her lying up behind the back seat up on the window shelf? And-and the litter pan can go down on the floorboard. I'll change it all the time and keep it clean so it won't smell. Please Sammy.. I can't do it. Don't make me."

Sam was floored.

He didn't know how to react nor what to say.

Dean's reactions and demeanor were more reminiscent of a young child than the strong, confident, cocky brother he remembered so well. Sam was reminded of moments he'd completely forgotten about and recalled upon a time in their life so long ago the memories now were not discernible from just bad dreams.

As Sam looked down at his brother on the floor pleading with him, he couldn't help but notice Dean's eyes.

They were large and round and just as light emerald green as they were when they were children. Dean looked exactly like how Sam remembered him as a young boy. Suddenly a memory came flooding back.

xxxXxxx

It was Dean's eyes which Sam recalled with the most distinct clarity, that and his brother's horrific, constant shouting. Dean didn't stop crying and screaming until John took his eldest by the hand and led him outside to have a talk alone. 'Stay in Sammy. Watch T.V. Your brother and I need to talk, okay buddy?'..

When it was happening little Sammy never knew what the deal was about the bathroom and the small green frog which his brother carried around in a jar wherever he went for over a month, nor how suddenly one day he no longer saw Dean with the jar.

Sam was too young to put two and two together, to make any sense out of the situation. He just knew that Dean was upset but now it was obvious what happened. The frog must have died, John flushed it and Dean freaked. He remembered the hurt and frightened look in his brother's eyes that day and it was the same look Dean held now.

xxxXxxx

Sam truly didn't know what to say nor how to react.

His first inclination was to run to his brother's side, drop to his knees and wrap his arms around Dean and hold him, but realistically he knew right now it probably wasn't the best move. Instead he just stood and stared at his brother. It was difficult for Sam to differentiate between a young, frightened, still-innocent Dean and the way he acted right after their mother's death and the way he was being now. To Sam, Dean seemed one and the same.

With that in mind, Sam realistically should have gone immediately to his brother's side, but he didn't; not even when he became aware Dean was shaking.

Trembling to be more precise.

Yep, rough, tough n tumble, shoot first n ask questions later Dean Winchester, was seated on the cold floor, holding the world's tiniest kitten in his large, scar marked hands, and if Sam didn't know better, he'd of swore, Dean had started sobbing.

"Stop looking at me that Sammy. I'm not a crying. I'm not a girl for fucks sake."

"Dean. I-I..I didn't say anything."

"You didn't have to Samuel. I can see it in your face."

"You know what I see in your face Dean? I see how bad you want to keep that cat. And really, I don't care anymore. I don't."

Dean jumped from the floor, ran towards Sam as if he were running towards a stack of large gifts on Christmas morning, with his name solely all over them.

"You mean it? Really? We can keep her?"

Sam smiled down as this brother.

His first instinct was to pat on him on the head and ruffle his hair like he remembered John do to him so, so many years ago; and say, 'yeah kiddo, we can keep it.' But one look at the backside of his six foot two, leather and denim clad brother reminded Sam Dean was anything but a child.

Instead, he realized Dean was simply a grown man who was scared, and more than anything he feared being alone. That afternoon as Sam, Baby and Dean packed up the room, ready to vacate it, and loaded all their stuff into the Impala, Sam swore to himself he'd do everything in his power to keep brother secure with the knowledge that he wasn't going anywhere anytime soon.

And apparently neither was Baby.

As the tires kicked up a fine, yet rocky gray dust behind her tires as they left the parking lot of the motel, Dean pulled a shiny, pink collar out of his pocket. There was tiny, silver bell in the middle.

"I'm glad you said yes cuz this was hard enough to buy in the first place, I don't think I actually have the balls to return it."

_end_