Alex followed Raven down the upstairs hallway of the manor house, feeling a bit overwhelmed by the sheer size of the place. A part of him figured he shouldn't be surprised to find out that Professor Xavier was rich, but at the same time he hadn't expected to find himself in place being escorted to his new room.
The bedroom Raven ushered him into was at the end of the long hallway. "I thought you'd like it down here," she stated. "It's a little more private."
"Thanks." Alex did appreciate her thoughtfulness. Having lived in solitary for over a year, he wasn't exactly a people person. However, when he walked in he was gob-smacked by the sheer size of the place.
"Do you like it?" Raven asked, looking pleased with herself. She didn't give him a chance to reply though, before grabbing him by the arm and tugging him into the attached bathroom.
Alex went stiff in her grip, focused only on her hand on his arm, until she released him to do a twirl in the center of the huge bathroom. He took a calming breath, willing his anxiety to dissipate, as he queried, "This is all just for me?"
Raven nodded. "Yep. You have a huge shower, a water closet for privacy and over here is a walk-in closet." She opened the closet door and gestured for Alex to peek inside.
"I don't even have any clothes," he mumbled. It boggled him that the closet was the size of his cell in solitary.
"Charles it taking care of the clothes issue for everyone," Raven assured him. "Well, I'll leave you to familiarize yourself with everything." She turned and flounced towards the door only to pause and turn back. "I almost forgot. Turns out it's Sean's birthday, so we're going to have an impromptu birthday party. I'm going to make pizza and we'll have ice cream and cake. If you want to nap or shower, feel free. Party will start in about two hours." With that she was gone.
Alex exhaled on a shaky sigh, before moving back into the bedroom. He stared at the huge bed, moving forward to press a hand into the thick bedding and letting it sink into the cushy mattress below. So many things were happening so fast that it was making his head spin. Alex had to make himself step back and deal with one thing at a time.
Like the birthday party. It had been a long time since he'd had pizza, or cake and ice cream, yet he found himself not the least bit hungry. He sure as hell wasn't looking forward to mingling with the others either. Just the thought of it ratcheted up his anxiety level and Alex could feel the prickling of his power beneath his skin. He made himself focus on shutting it down, but it was easier said than done.
Cursing beneath his breath, Alex headed out of the room, down the hallway and stairs and out the front door. He picked up speed, racing down the long drive and onto the road before pushing himself into an all out run. Running in an open space was one thing he had truly missed during his time in lock up. Feeling his heart thudding hard in his chest, his legs pumping, the wind on his face. Alex felt like he could breathe again, so even when he felt a stitch forming in his side, he kept on running.
When he finally made his way back, the sun was setting as he made his rubbery legs take him back into the house. He found himself greeted by Raven who, once again took him by the arm and dragged him to the stairs. Alex had to force himself not to yank his arm free.
"Hurry up and take a shower," Raven hissed at him. "There are clothes on the bed. The pizza is ready but we'll wait for you."
"Don't wait for me," Alex countered. "Go ahead and eat, I'm not really hungry."
Raven rolled her eyes. "You're a teenage boy, you're hungry." She pushed him up the first step. "And don't even think about ducking out on us, I will come and drag you to the party if necessary." She glared as she made the threat, letting Alex know that she was serious.
He sighed in relief that she wasn't touching him anymore, although the imprint of her warm fingers seemed to linger on his skin. Alex wasn't sure how he felt about it, but he didn't have time to ponder it because Raven was glaring at him, so he ran up the stairs and down the hallway to his room.
As Raven had mentioned, there were clothes piled up on his bed. Alec grabbed a pair of jeans and a blue button down shirt. He felt a bit squicked out by the fact that there were boxers that were exactly his size, but he shook off the feeling and grabbed a pair along with socks and locked himself in the bathroom.
Ten minutes later Alex was showered, dressed and heading back down the stairs. He made his way towards the kitchen, following the sound of laughter. Standing in the doorway, Alex froze. Everyone was gathered around the counters and the table and there were several large pizzas on the countertop and stove. It smelled appetizing, but Alex felt his stomach tighten even as anxiety made his skin prickle. He turned, ready to flee, only to feel a familiar hand on his arm.
Raven pulled him into the kitchen, using her free hand to grab a plate laden with pizza slices, which she handed over to Alex before making him sit on a nearby stool. Realizing it would be easier to do as Raven wanted, Alex stayed put and ate two slices of pizza. He didn't join in on the conversations but he listened to the buzz of it around him and it was weirdly okay.
After pizza came cake and ice cream and when everyone was grouped around Sean and singing 'Happy Birthday', Alex made good his escape. He wandered outside, finding a back door, and he found himself smiling as he stretched out on the grass and stared up at the stars. He had missed the stars.
Alex didn't know how long he lay there, half dozing, when he sensed a presence and turned his head to see Hank sitting down beside him. A sarcastic remark was on the tip of his tongue, but Alex swallowed it. He was feeling too mellow to stir shit up right now.
"What are you doing out here?" Hank asked, as he pushed his glasses up his nose.
"What are you doing out here?" Alex countered, throwing the question right back at him. "Is the party over already?" He certainly hoped so.
Hank shook his head. "No, it's still going strong, but parties aren't really my thing. I'm rather socially...awkward."
Alex snorted. "You don't say. Guess we have something in common after all."
"We do?" Hank looked completely baffled. "Everyone likes you, Alex. You fit right in."
"No one knows me!" Alex hissed. "And I don't fit in, not at all!" He was sitting up now, trying to control his anger. It wasn't Hank's fault that he'd hit a sore spot. "And I don't belong here with the rest of you. I'm different! I'm dangerous!"
Hank stared at Alex as if he'd grown two heads. "We're all dangerous," he pointed out.
Alex almost laughed at that. "Not like me. The rest of you can control your powers, control what you do. I hurt people. Like Darwin. He's dead because of me." The memory of that moment washed over Alex and he almost curled into himself.
"Darwin is dead because of Sebastian Shaw!" Hank growled. Literally growled. "And that's why we're here. To stop him from hurting anyone else."
"You don't need me for that," Alex countered. He was afraid that all he would contribute is getting more people hurt.
Hank rose to his feet, towering over Alex. "You do belong here, Alex. What you can do is scary, but amazing, and Professor Xavier is going to help you learn to use your power and control it." He stopped, looking surprised by what he said and the vehemence behind it. "Um...I have to go." With that Hank ran off, leaving staring after him in surprise.
Heaving a sigh as he laid back down in the cool grass, Alex considered Hank's words. Maybe he could learn to control his powers and maybe the Professor could help. At this point, he really didn't have anywhere else to go.
After star gazing for another hour, Alex slipped back into the house and into his room. Dawn would come early and it was time for Alex to get back into his usual routine. Maybe then he wouldn't feel like he was drowning in chaos.
At dawn's first light, Alex was outside and running. He ran for over an hour then returned to the house to slip into the kitchen for toast and a glass of orange juice, before snagging a banana. He returned to his room to shower and change, then he headed downstairs to find Raven waiting for him.
"I made pancakes," she announced, slinging her arm through his in an attempt to lead him into the kitchen.
"I already ate," Alex countered, lithely slipping away from her. "I'm supposed to train today, do you know where Professor Xavier is?"
Raven pouted, but replied. "In the bunker with Hank. They're setting things up for you. It's out back, you can't miss it," she directed.
Alex thanked her then headed out, still feeling the warmth of her touch lingering on his skin as always. Deep inside him, Alex felt an ache of longing that he viciously ignored.
Instead he spent the next few hours trying to control his powers and failing miserably. But Professor Xavier didn't give up on him, which was surprising in some ways and comforting in others. It made Alex want to do better. So his days fell into a routine of up at dawn to run, sneak breakfast, shower, work in the bunker, avoid lunch, run again, shower, sneak into the kitchen for his usual peanut butter and jelly sandwich dinner with an apple, then back to his room to become a hermit for the night.
For the most part he was able to avoid everyone other than the Professor and Hank and sometimes Raven. She tended to be very persistent in trying to get him to join in with the others. Sean had become something of an issue in that regard as well, always hounding after Alex and trying to befriend him. Something Alex was quick to shut down.
He was better off alone, even though he couldn't stop the ache of loneliness that thrummed inside him.
Sean had made overture after overture of friendship towards Alex, only for the blond kid to shut him down every single time. But Sean was stubborn, so he found himself knocking on Alex's door. But his knuckles were getting sore and there was no reply.
Curiosity getting the better of him, Sean opened the door, calling out a greeting only to be met with silence. He was surprised at how neat and pristine the room looked. The bed was made, there were no clothes hanging out. The bathroom looked exactly the same, spotless. Sean grinned thinking how his room looked the exact opposite, because he was anything but neat and tidy.
Realizing that he really shouldn't be invading Alex's space, Sean turned to leave only to notice that the closet door was open. He pushed it all the way back and froze at the sight before him. It was totally empty except for the neatly folded blanket on the floor with a single pillow on top.
Stepping back and slipping out of the room, Sean headed straight out to find Raven. He needed to share with her the secret he had just learned. That Alex Summers ignored the huge bed in his room to sleep in the walk in closet. Too weird.
After a particular bad session in the bunker, Alex was in a foul mood and he wanted nothing more than to shower and hide himself away some where. Although, given how wound up he was, maybe he would shower in an attempt to cool down before going for a run to exhaust away his anxiety.
So it was the absolute worst time for Sean to get in his personal space. Before the redhead could even open his mouth, Alex hissed,
"Leave me alone!"
"I just wanted to see if maybe you want to go for a run," Sean countered, determinedly standing firm. He and Raven had talked about how Alex really needed a friend, given he was sleeping in a closet and all. So Sean was going to be that friend, whether Alex liked it or not.
Alex didn't have the patience to argue with words, so he made his point through his fist.
One hard, right cross later, Sean found himself on his ass on the floor, nursing a bloody nose.
Erik and Charles had been coming down the staircase when they heard sharp voices and saw the punch. They ran over and while Erik picked Sean off the floor and checked him over, Charles moved to confront Alex.
"What's going on here?" he demanded, locking eyes with the blond boy.
"It's my fault," Sean was quick to interject. "Alex asked me to leave him alone but I wouldn't."
Alex gaped at Sean for a moment, stunned that the redhead would take the blame, but he couldn't let that happen. Alex took responsibility for his own actions, always. "I punched him," he stated flatly. "I'm ready to be punished." Whatever happened, he would handle it. In lock up he knew he what to expect, here he was at a loss and that made him more anxious than the reality of being punished.
It was Charles' turn to look shocked. "There's no punishment here, Alex," he said gently. "You need to apologize to Sean and there's to be no more punching...of anyone. But that's all."
"No punishment?" Alex echoed, feeling unsettled. He like things to be routine. A strict routine with known expectations had been his life for the past three years. Up at the same time, eat at the same time, bed at the same time. Do something wrong, get punished. It was familiar to him, comforting in his own way. He felt off-balanced by the Professor's words and reaction to what he had done.
"No punishment," Charles insisted. "Just an apology, and a promise from Sean not to bother you from now on."
Alex mumbled an apology and he vaguely heard Sean promise to give him space. Before Alex could make good his escape, Raven popped up, announcing that dinner was ready.
Charles smiled, clapping Alex on the back. "Perfect timing. Let's eat, shall we?"
"I'm not hungry," Alex replied. He body had gone tense at the Professor's touch and now his muscles ached as he forced them not flinch because of the hand that had remained on his shoulder, squeezing gently. "May I be excused?"
"You may." It was Erik who gave him permission, nodding to confirm.
Alex accepted the escape and ran up the stairs, racing to the sanctity of his room.
Charles sighed, sending Raven and Sean off to the kitchen before speaking to Erik. He was worried about Alex. "He's too thin and he needs to learn to learn that he's safe with us."
"Easier said than done," Erik countered. "You can't imagine what that kid has been through."
"But you have some idea, don't you, Erik?" Charles said. "Help him."
Erik nodded. "I will. But first, let's go eat. Hank said he was making lasagna and I'm starving." With that the two friends headed into the kitchen, but both of them were thinking of the blond boy upstairs.
Alex paced in his room for a time, debating sneaking out to run or showering and trying to sleep. He decided to shower and go from there. The shower helped a bit, but he still felt anxious and unsettled. He had seen the way Erik and the Professor were when they were together. They were friends and comfortable with each other, and Alex envied them that simplicity. That warmth that was almost tangible, just like the way Charles loved Raven, his little sister. Or the way Raven seemed to care about everyone, she made it look so easy to just be with them. How weird, Alex thought, that he really did have the most in common with Hank. They were both social misfits.
A knock on the door interrupted Alex's internal monologue and when he opened it he was surprised to see Erik standing there with a tray of food.
"May I come in?" the older man asked.
"Sure." Alex stepped back so he could enter. He watched Erik set the tray on the dresser.
Turning to face Alex, Erik studied the blond. The kid was too thin, and too sad. His eyes were dark with sadness and something more. Something melancholy that made him look small and fragile and lost. Erik was going to fix that, but he would have to take it slow. "Hank made lasagna and it's delicious, so I brought you some along with a glass of milk and two brownies for desert. Just bring the dishes down when you're done."
Alex couldn't deny that the food smelled awesome and his mouth was starting to water a little. "You didn't have to do that."
"I know." Erik reached into his back pocket and pulled out a well-worn paper back. "I brought you something to read while you eat. I do that a lot to unwind and get out of any negative head space, hence why the book is so worn and torn. Enjoy. And there's plenty more food in the kitchen, if you want seconds." With that he shoved the book into Alex's hand and made to leave.
"Thanks," Alex called after him.
Erik grinned, waved, and closed the door behind him.
Alex stared at the book and found himself smiling. He loved 'The Hobbit', it was his favorite as a kid. Feeling some of his anxiety seep out of him, Alex grabbed the tray and took it into the closet where he settled in and managed to eat most of the lasagna and one of the brownies before falling asleep with the book on his chest, open to chapter 23.
The next few weeks fell into a routine that Alex found himself becoming comfortable with. Erik had caught him the next morning in the kitchen, washing his dirty dishes and asked to join Alex on his run. Alex felt like he owed the man so he agreed and he found himself enjoying himself, and accepting the invite to join Erik for breakfast after. It became something he looked forward too, putting Alex in a good frame of mind so that by the time he showered and headed for the bunker, he was in a good place and his sessions progressed well. He was learning to control his powers.
Which led to him sometimes joining Raven for a late lunch, but he still ate dinner in his room. Erik was always the one to deliver it to him and he always seemed to know when Alex was ready for a new book.
By the end of the third week, Alex found himself agreeing to join the others for their Thursday night, game night. He even enjoyed learning how to play chess and was surprised to discover he was actually pretty good at it. So he was actually looking forward to game night the following week, only to walk into the room to an argument between the Professor and Erik.
The two men were standing toe to toe, getting louder by the minute. Alex didn't even hear what they were saying, his heart had started pounding too loud in his chest. In lock up, the guards would have been there, prying them apart, separating them. Especially when Erik shoved the Professor and Charles shoved him right back. But here and now the others were mostly ignoring their mentors. Hank was playing chess with Raven, his focus on the chessboard while her focus seemed to be on the antagonist. However she didn't look concerned, she looked amused.
Sean was eating popcorn and watching the news on the television. He was the first to notice Alex standing in the doorway, so he got up and went over to him, jerking a buttery thumb at Erik and the Professor. "Those two should never discuss religion, politics or mutant policies. They are both way too opinionated. Come watch TV with me, man. I'll share my popcorn."
But Alex couldn't do that, because he suddenly found it hard to breathe and the room felt like it was closing in on him. A few weeks ago he preferred the comfort of enclosed spaces, but now he felt as if he were going to be crushed. So he did the only thing he could do, he turned towards the window as a plasma stream blasted out of one hand. He saw the glass shatter, heard the gasps of surprise, watched everyone duck as if in slow motion, then he ran.
It was Raven who shouted for Erik and Charles to shut up. "You scared Alex!" she admonished them.
None of them were hurt, but the window frame was on fire and Hank jumped up to grab a blanket and put it out.
"His aim has gotten a lot better," Sean commented, still munching on his pop corn.
Erik cursed. "I'll find him," he promised, already running for the door. The first place he checked was the kid's room, going for the closet, because Raven had shared that particular quirk with all of them after Sean had told her about it. But the room was empty. Taking a moment to think, to be smart about his next choice, Erik smiled as he figured out exactly where to go. The bunker.
Alex had run straight to the bunker, knowing that he couldn't contain the tightness in his chest or the tingling throughout his body that demanded his attention. He couldn't hold back any longer and the blasts streamed from his chest and from his clenched fists, never ending and burning bright until they burnt out abruptly, as if someone had flicked a switch.
Swaying on his feet, Alex stumbled over to the nearest wall and screamed in frustration as he threw punch after punch until an arm snaked around his chest and pulled him back from his concrete punching bag.
Erik felt Alex trembling, felt the thin body go taught and knew he was preparing to fight back and run, but he held on tight, knowing that Alex was too exhausted to fight for long. "I've got you," he repeated, over and over again, until the blond boy went limp in his embrace.
"I'm sorry...I'm s-sorry," Alex whispered, his voice too hoarse to be louder. He couldn't stop shaking anymore than he could stop the fear that over-whelmed him. "I didn't mean to hurt anyone...I'm sorry...I'm sorry!"
"It's okay, Alex." Erik shifted them until he could pick Alex up and carry him out of the bunker. The kid was far too light and shuddering so hard, Erik feared his bones could break from it. Once outside he set Alex down but didn't let go, instead he drew the kid into a hug. "Everyone is fine, Alex. You didn't hurt anyone. You directed the blast out the window and no one even got a scratch. No one but you." He knew the kid's knuckles were raw and torn and maybe even cracked or broken, but he would deal with one issue at a time. First he had to get Alex calmed down.
Alex heard what Erik was saying and he wanted to believe him. "I didn't mean to do that," he whispered. "You were yelling, you and the professor and nobody cared, nobody stopped you...and that didn't make sense. You were fighting..."
Erik got it now. "The guards would always intervene, even if you weren't fighting," he guessed. "But you're not in lock up anymore, Alex. We're not the guards. You're safe here." Despite his words of reassurance, despite the fact that Alex had stopped fighting him, Erik could still feel how tense the kid was, his thin body vibrating with tension. "You're safe," he repeated, not knowing what else to do.
So Erik remained where he was for a moment, then he started to pull away, knowing he needed to check the kid's hands. But he froze when he felt the slim arms slide around his waist in a stilted hug. He found himself grinning as he hugged back. The first step was always the hardest.
Alex didn't know how much time passed where he stood there awkwardly hugging Erik, but the next thing he knew he was in his room and Erik was nudging him into the bathroom and telling him to shower so he could get his hand checked over. So Alex showered and dressed in a tank top and sweatpants only to find his room filled to overflowing.
Hank was the first to step forward, directing Alex to sit down in the chair in the corner, a chair he hadn't sat in even once before. But he sat and let Hank tend to his hands, while Sean sat down at his feet, cross-legged and now munching on an apple.
"Brought you one," Sean said, pushing the apple into the hand that Hank wasn't working on. "Dude, I have to tell you, the way you blasted through the window was so freaking cool! I didn't know you could channel it through your hands."
"That was extremely impressive," Charles spoke up. "Your hard work has paid off and I'm very proud of you, Alex."
Alex was stunned, why on Earth was the Professor proud of him. "But I broke you window," he protested.
Charles chuckled. "Easily replaced. You should have seen the damage I caused learning my powers. We all go through it, Alex. It's how we learn and you've done well in your lessons."
"Thanks," he whispered, feeling so overwhelmed that he really didn't notice the sting of the antiseptic Hank was using on his knuckles. Nor did he notice the big guy wrapping them firmly in soft gauze. He did, however, feel a slight stinging prick in his upper arm and that startled him. It was followed by another before he could protest.
"I'm giving you an antibiotic along with something for the pain and to help you sleep," Hank explained.
Alex was pretty sure he didn't want any of those things but he found it impossible to protest because his tongue felt heavy and he felt a bit dizzy even though he was lying down. The next thing he knew he was floating before coming to rest on a cloud. No, that couldn't be right, there weren't any clouds in his room. Alex realized he was in the bed, that giant bed, and someone was pulling the covers over him and it was surprisingly nice and warm and he almost wanted to close his eyes. Almost.
Raven climbed into the bed and curled up next to Alex. "Close your eyes and sleep," she told him. "We'll stay with you, Alex. Just sleep."
He found himself wanting to obey her, so he curled up on his side and let his eyes drift closed. He could figure out what to do next in the morning.
And that was how Alex fell asleep. To the buzz of quiet voices and, a touch that was warm and tender and made his heart ache a little, in a good way.
THE END
