A/N: I'm trying a MWPP story…and most probably Lily…
In McGonagall's office they sat: James Potter, Sirius Black, and Remus Lupin. But one was missing from their group. Peter Pettigrew had been sick that day. Another 'harmless' prank it had been the three of them had pulled. Harmless, maybe it was to them, because to them, it was minor. To others, however, it was major. Especially those who had come out of the Great Hall covered with foam.
And so, at ten in the morning of a beautiful bright Saturday, the three sat, waiting for the return of the feared, but not to them, teacher.
Remus drummed his fingers on McGonagall's desk, humming absently.
"Really, Moony, I wish you wouldn't do that. Why's that? You want reasons? One, you can't carry a tune for your life. Two, its making me nervous. It's like we're waiting for a judge of the trial that has no other sentence but 'Guilty, send him off to Azkaban'," Sirius said with the normal cheerfulness his voice carried, Remus stopped and layed his fingers on the desk.
"It was funny wasn't it?" James asked, grinning like there was no tomorrow. He apparently hadn't been paying attention, because he was staring out the window like a crazed lunatic.
"Yes. It was hilarious. Did you see Snape's jaw drop when we got him with that fire extinguisher?" Remus said, and the three hooted with mirth, Sirius banging his fist on the arm of the chair he sat in.
"I bet McGonagall's gonna be wondering where we got those," James muttered with a slight smirk.
"Tell her we found them in the castle," Remus put in, and shrugged his shoulders with a lopsided smile when the two stared at him. "Do you want to tell her we stole them and smuggled them inside the school?"
"We could tell her we kept them in our cloaks for emergencies such as Snape's head bursting into flames right before our very eyes. We could say that we were ex-pyromaniacs after one of us caught on fire, and ever since we carry around fire extinguishers just in case of such an incident?" Sirius suggested as the other two slapped their knees and rocked back and forth in laughter that was too wild to be put into voices.
"Or perhaps you could tell her the truth?" came a familiar voice came from where the door that was McGonagall's, as the voice.
Remus froze, Sirius smirked, and James whipped around, to find McGonagall staring at the three of them with an irritated look. She walked up to stand in front of them, and leaned on her desk with her arms crossed.
"Would you three like to tell me why you would take out fire extinguishers and douse half of the population of Hogwarts with them?" she asked coolly, looking at each of them in turn. They all three returned her stare until she looked away, something that Peter wouldn't have done. Peter was horrible with confrontations.
"Well, as you might have heard, we're ex-pyromaniacs," Sirius said with a look of pure innocence. Too bad it was fake. And it was also a bad thing that McGonagall had seen that look one too many times.
"Mm-hmm. One time James here caught on fire and," Remus blew air through his lips, shaking his head in disgrace, "well, you can see why we take our chances."
"It was horrible. He just kept screaming and screaming and his whole head was on fire, and then it spread down his spine, it was all because we set fire to his bed one night. We thought he looked cold, and well, being the pyromaniacs we were, we just couldn't let poor James freeze!" Sirius exclaimed, using his big hands for emphasis. McGonagall just sat there listening, her arms crossed and one eyebrow raised in bitter amusement.
"Really James?" she asked, her eyes moving over to him.
"Oh yeah. It was terrible. But I've never been cold since," James said triumphantly, and his two companions burst out laughing, and it was a good thing they did, or otherwise they would have seen a smile creep from McGonagall's mouth. She hid it immediately, and assigned them the job of helping Madame Pomphrey for the night, as she had run out of detentions for the three and was getting bored of making up new ones.
The three walked back to the Gryffindor Common Room, grinning about the previous events.
"I almost feel sorry for her…it would be rather boring giving the same detentions constantly, and she's used up almost all her options," Remus said thoughtfully, and the other two glanced at him before continuing on.
"I would hate to be a Professor," Sirius shuddered at the thought, and James and Remus agreed.
"I would not be caught dead as a Professor. If, however, you find me lying bloodily inside of a classroom with lesson plans in my limp hand, I would like this inscribed on my tombstone: 'I was a were wolf, I created one of the best inventions at Hogwarts, was friends of illegal animagi, gave the 'Shrieking Shack' its name, and I was an ex-pyromaniac. What can you say about yourself?'" Remus said, and James and Sirius looked at him and burst out laughing.
"You know what?" Remus asked, and before waiting for an answer he replied, "I want that on my tombstone anyway."
"You know what I want on my tombstone?" Sirius asked with a smile. The other two looked at him in way of reply and he said, "'I was the guardian of the son of the couple that never was'."
"What?" Remus and James asked Sirius simultaneously.
"Oh, you know. Lily and James's kid," Sirius explained and laughed as he got himself punched in the arm by his best friend.
"Well you know what I want on my tombstone?" James asked.
"What?" his friends asked, and he replied: "'I used to be happy, but then I met Sirius.'"
"Oh but then people will wonder who 'Sirius' is," Remus pointed out, and James replied with a quick grin.
"I'm going to put under that: 'You know him; he's the one that killed me. We're ex-pyromaniacs you know.'"
"I wonder what Peter's gonna put on his tombstone," James said after a minute when the laughter had died down.
"I think a simple, 'I smell' will do," Sirius laughed as they reached the Fat Lady (Grindylow) and crawled through the portrait hole into the common room, where they got several glares from those with wet hair.
"They only hate us because we saved their lives," Sirius said as he sat down in a couch that was evacuated by two glaring girls with freshly showered hair.
"No, they only hate us because we saved their lives by way of ex-pyromaniacism," James said as he sat down across from Sirius, and was soon joined by Remus.
"I think they only hate us because they're jealous," Remus mumbled.
"Jealous because you drowned half the school in foam from stolen fire extinguishers for no obvious reason?" Lily smirked as she sat down next to Sirius, towel drying her wet hair. "Or jealous because you've got detention for the fifth time this week? Or it could've been the look on Snape's face…"
The three burst out laughing, and Lily joined them a moment after, "Yes, I do think it was the look on Snape's face…"
"Did you know, Lily, that we're ex-pyromaniacs?" Remus asked, and Lily gave him a confused look and shook her head.
"Its true! One night they set fire to my bed and the sight of me screaming and fire spreading down my spine was enough to rid them of the horrible habit," James explained with a surprisingly straight face, which only made them laugh harder.
"McGonagall believed it," Sirius said with a smirk.
"Which is why you have detention?"
"Maybe I lied… You want to know what I'm going to have on my tombstone?" Sirius asked, and Remus and he burst out laughing as a pillow thrown by James hit Sirius.
A/N: Sorry guys, but this fic will not be continued! Unless you wish to finish it yourself, please contact me! I have too many other stories to finish, and I think this one is just cute as a short story. Everything welcome in reviews! (Sirius does have a fire extinguisher for flames you know... Ha ha ha! LoL sorry, corny joke... Couldn't help myself!)