Behind His Blue Eyes
Disclaimer: All characters belong to Shonda and ABC
AN: Sorry it's been so long since I have written a story guys, but this idea came to me last night and I just had to write it…I hope you all enjoy…please please please read and review!
**GA**MD**GA**MD**GA**MD**GA**MD**
It had been two days…two long, excruciating days. She couldn't remember the last time they had gone this long without seeing each other or even speaking to one another. If they weren't able to see each other they had always made the effort to at least pick up the phone and say 'hello'. It was part of their 'new and improved' relationship. They had done well with the whole communicating thing and had really grown as a couple. There were no more commitment or abandonment issues coming from either side, they had become whole and healed, together.
As she walked off the elevator to the surgical wing, she was overcome with a very familiar feeling, one that she had experienced nearly two years ago. Only on that day he had been there to comfort her, telling her that it would eventually pass, and it did right after she saw a man virtually disappear into thin air. But today…today was different, he wasn't going to be there to comfort her, at least not anytime soon. She didn't even know where he was, she didn't even know if he was alive. And that…the not knowing where the love of her life was or how he was doing…was what was causing this feeling.
She turned the corner by the nurse's station attempting to suppress her feeling of loss, when she spotted Bailey and Callie. She had remembered Bailey saying something about sending Callie into the 'woods' to talk him into coming back. By the look on the two women's faces she could tell that she had been correct in the assumption that Callie was not going to be able to talk sense into him. Even she couldn't talk sense into him and they were 'communicating' or whatever. As she neared them her feeling began to violently attack her body from the inside out.
"What do you mean he's not there?" she heard Bailey bellow back into Callie's face.
"I mean he wasn't there…there was no sign of life…it's like he just fell off the face of the planet."
Meredith stopped dead in her tracks; her worst fears were coming true…if he wasn't at the trailer then where would he be? He didn't have any other place in Seattle to go. She quickly tried to think of someplace he could be, anywhere…
"He might be on the docks…" Meredith's tiny voice entered their parameters of hearing. The crazy looks that were being thrown her way made her continue, "the docks…by the ferry boats…he goes there a lot to think."
"He wasn't. I sat there for forty-five minutes waiting on a damn boat…there weren't a whole lot of people there and defiantly no McDreamys."
"You're sure he wasn't on the land somewhere….I mean there are acres…he could be anywhere…what about at the lake? Did you check the lake?" Meredith rambled off.
"Grey, he's not there, I promise you. No car, lights were turned off in the trailer, trailer was locked…no one was home."
"The trailer was locked? He never locks the trailer…I mean he lives in the middle of freakin nowhere why would he need to lock the trailer."
"Meredith take a breath…Lord knows I don't need you passing out on me. We already got enough going on here, people slippin off the map like it's a freakin slip'n'slide, especially that fool of a man of yours. Look why don't you take some time off, go look in all your little hiding places and drag his stupid ass back here…why ain't your little behind moving? I told you to go, so go."
"It's just…what, what do I say? I mean he has always been the strong one in this relationship, he always knows what to say and when to say it…me…I just, I've never done this before. How do you tell the person that you love that everything is going to be alright, when you yourself don't even know how it will end up?"
"You just do…we're not God, we can't control what is going to happen in our future…you should know that, we're surgeons…Look I can't tell you what to tell him and honestly I don't envy you right now for having to do this…but Meredith, you are an intelligent woman who is in love with an amazing man…you two connect like I've never seen any other couple before, you get each other like every other couple only dreams of getting…Deep down you are just like him, you know all the right things to say and in the right moment you are going to know when to say them."
"Bailey's right Mer…" Meredith turned around to see Cristina standing behind her. "Derek's in this dark and twisty place right now and you know that place like no one else…you need to bring him back…we, we all need him back…people are going to…" she paused trying to control her emotions, "You just, you need to get him back here…before it's too late."
Meredith stood there soaking in Cristina's words, she was hiding something, she knew it, Cristina was never this emotional, especially about Derek.
"Alri…ok, uh I guess I'll be back…" waiting a second before she turned to walk to the locker room.
"Yang, what's going on?" Bailey asked giving her a stern look.
But Meredith was too far away to hear the rest of the conversation.
**GA**MD**GA**MD**GA**MD**GA**MD**
Two days, he hadn't seen or spoken to her in two days. He had never missed her so much. He wasn't used to being alone, she had always been there. But now, now she was gone…forever.
"You alright son?" the voice of an old man brought him out of his thoughts. He looked to the man sitting to the right of him.
"Yea…yea I'm…yea."
"Excuse me sir, we are about to land, could you please bring your seat to the upright position."
Looking back to his right, he couldn't help but watch the old man. This was who he had wanted to be. He had told her that, even gone as far as to promise her that. Thinking back on it he had promised her a lot, a house, the kids, the dog, the marriage, the eternal love. But now all those promises had gone to hell…the moment he hit the ring into the woods everything went to hell.
He knew that night that she was going to stick around; the look in her eyes made that very clear. Even as he was calling her a lemon, she stood her ground, she really wasn't leaving. But he was trying his best to push her away, push her completely out of his life. He was so proud of her, she had grown so much, if possible he had fallen even more in love with her. This is why he was pushing her away, she deserved so much better than him, someone who wasn't a murderer.
And in his eyes, he had succeeded; she was gone, out of his life…forever…
**GA**MD**GA**MD**GA**MD**GA**MD**
Meredith knew exactly where to head first, their spot. It had been their spot ever since she took him there for the first time four years ago to watch the ferry boats. That was the night that she realized she was falling hard for him. He had made her feel like no other person ever had, special and most of all, loved.
As she pulled up she noticed that his car was no where insight. She parked and got out of her car, walking over to the bench that they had shared so many nights, she sat down and inhaled deeply. Bending over she let her face fall into her hands, instantly noticing the return of her eccentric feeling. Keeping her hands clasped she looked up to sky, almost as if she was looking for some sort of sign.
"God I know that I am the last person that you owe any favors, but please just let him be alive. Help me find him and give him the comfort that he needs…just take care of him…let him know that I love him so much."
She had never been one for religious talk, especially with God, but right now she needed all the help she could get. She needed someone to be able to watch over him, she didn't even know if he was conscious, after all he had had enough alcohol to knock an elephant flat on its ass.
She stood up took one last look around and got back in her car.
Twenty minutes later she was pulling up to the trailer, still no car and it looked like the trailer had never been touched. She drove to the only other drivable place on the land, up to where they had talked about building the house, no car there either. She got out and walked around for a few minutes. She smiled to herself; she could picture their beautiful house, with their gorgeous children running around with the dog. She knew it was going to happen.
"It's meant to happen." She whispered to herself before walking back to her car.
After driving around town to all the places she could possibly think of she drove back to her house. She walked inside to a quite empty house. It was so rare these days to catch a quiet moment here; someone was always coming in or out. She walked upstairs and took a quick shower hoping that it would help clear her head so she could think straight.
She walked into their room towel drying her hair, as she flopped down on the bed a picture of her and Derek caught her eye. It had been taken in the fall at a little get together they had with all their friends, they weren't even looking at the camera they had been to enthralled with each other. She smiled, running her finger along his face longing for him to be in front of her right now giving her that look.
"I love you." She whispered to the photograph.
As she set the picture back on the night stand she was suddenly hit with an idea of how to find him. She ran downstairs to her purse, pulled out her cell phone scrolled through the contacts and hit the call button.
"Come on pick up…pick up…" she said impatiently as it rang, she didn't know what had come over her to call this person, of all people.
"This is Dr. Montgomery."
**GA**MD**GA**MD**GA**MD**GA**MD**
AN: Alright there is the first chapter…you feelin it? Should I continue? Please review let me know what you like and what you don't!!